


The Human Princess

by RiaZ



Series: Silence and Darkness [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Assassination, Boarding School, Cliffhangers, Daggers, Eren Is a Little Shit, F/M, Fighting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Isabel is bae, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, Protective Annie Leonhart, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Titans, kind of, who isnt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 00:04:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 164,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12179097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiaZ/pseuds/RiaZ
Summary: Y/N L/N, beautiful, savage and deadly. In a school where assassination is taught as the primary topic, she thrives. But when her kingdom is challenged, can she survive? Or will she need help from the stoic, satirical Levi Ackerman along the way?





	1. Chapter 1 - The Game

No one ever talks about how threatening silence can be.

They talk about the thunder of adrenaline behind your ears, and the screams of women that shatter through any peace. They all say how the whip of a sword cleaving through the air or the snap of an arrow can make you hear how you’ll die, and the terror that it can strike through your heart.

But true silence – no one talks about that.

You sat – in absolute, unbroken silence – in front of the desk in your room, staring at the heavy piece of paper in front of you, tossed carelessly there earlier in the week. The darkness of your room had been chased into captivity underneath your bed, for the dancing light of the candle was putting up an admiral fight against the inevitable dark of the night.

The light was enough that you still see the ink upon the parchment.

_Dear Y/N L/N,_  
This is your reminder that the weekly practice on Friday at midnight will still be in order. The tasks are as follows:  
1) Find the subject  
2) Figure out what killed the subject  
3) Figure out who killed the subject  
Otherwise, you may be the one to suffer the consequences.  
Sincerely,  
Survey Corps, Assassination Academy 

 

You shook your head, reading through the instructions that had by now been worn into your memory. Survey Corps was indeed the academy of assassination; they trained the human children that were left within the world into becoming weapons that the world could yield as it wished.

Though their methods were as cruel as anyone could expect; every week, a single student was chosen out of the hundreds attending to kill a class C teacher. Then the rest of the students would have to find the body, identify the weapon and the murderer.

No one knew what happened to the murderer if they were apprehended - they just disappeared, slipping between the cracks of human memory and into the shadowy realm of nothing. No one dared to ask where they went.

But if no one could identify the murderer, a random student would be selected to befall the murderer's fate. And nobody wanted to just disappear, not after this chance that you had all been given. Nobody was willing to just slip into nothingness, forfeiting the chance to make the world even the slightest bit better.

When the world owes and gives one nothing, the true strength lies in making something of it anyway.

A bell ring shattered the absolute silence of the room, and you jumped from your position on your bed. Shoving the sheet of paper under your pillow and glancing quickly at your window sill, where a candle still flickered, you nodded to yourself. You stood up quickly, not willing to waste any more time than you had and stalked your way to the door. Smoothing over your barely creased uniform and admiring yourself in the mirror that hung on the back of the door was useless at this stage – at this gods-forsaken time, no one cared what you looked like.

The clock just continued ticking its merry and irritating way past the time of the bell – past midnight.

Normally, as with any human, you would willingly slaughter everyone within a mile’s radius if you had been awoken at this time. But this was tradition; this is what you prepared yourself for.

So, fighting the urge not to groan, you swallow your complaints that no one would hear anyway and instead decide to softly mutter “at least they’re on time.” Of course, as a school that was strictly enforced with punctuality and general discipline, it was to be expected. Grabbing your sharpened knives from where they were sitting on the desk beside the bed, you wrap the weapon's belt around your waist so that they hung from your hips, where you could easily grab them if needed. And with that, you unlock and open your door to peer out.

Assassin’s Academy was quite a nice establishment, you supposed. It was made up of one main manor building, with two smaller buildings for the Dorms. The girl’s Dorm was decorated using the theme of gold and blue, and almost everything abided by the colour system. The girls could decorate their own rooms how they wished. It was rumoured that the boy’s Dorm was red and gold, but since the entering of the other gender’s Dorm was strictly prohibited, no one knew for certain.

The girl's Dorm was a ten minute walk to the manor house, which was at the very crest of the hill. But with the trees and the fields of long grass, you didn't really mind. Walking in the fresh air was good for you - or so everyone told you.

You sighed at the sight of the other girls rushing through their doors, hair flying everywhere and uniform in a dismal state. They should have learnt by now to expect the bell, shouldn't they? You shake your head, half in mock despair and half to clear it exhaustion. Somehow, you weren’t entirely sure that the school’s best method of training was to get all of the students up and raring about murder at midnight. Every. Friday. Night.

Rather than despair of the surety of your exhaustion tomorrow morning, you step lightly into the corridor and join the rushing of the girls. The floor that your bedroom was on only had the first year girl’s quarters, which was something of a blessing. You hardly thought that having the elder girl’s seeing everyone in this state would be too flattering.

“Y/N – I’m behind you,” a voice warned. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was; Isabel was your best friend, and that was a fact that she very proudly told everyone that bothered to listen. You didn’t particularly mind; it wasn’t as if you minded her company, anyway. When you wanted to talk about stupid topics or wanted a second opinion, Isabel was never far from your side. With her flyaway red hair and wide green eyes, you had to admit that she was very pretty - not that she cared. When she wasn't talking to you, she was out in the fields and climbing trees, coming back to the dorm with torn clothes and a beaming face.

The thick blue carpet cushioned the your footsteps as you ran down the hall together, heading towards the regal winding staircase just after Isabel. A few girls were following you, their hair messy and yawns fighting their way past their throats. Knowing that they’d soon wake up, you paid them no mind as you sped past them on your way to the main building.

The entrance door to the Dorm had long since been opened; there were some very enthusiastic people, some nights, that would do all that they could to guess at the murderer. You lightly leaped over the threshold of warmth and into the coolness of the night.

Inhaling the night air sent a shock through you, as it always did. You enjoyed the crunching of the sand path under your feet as you and Isabel joined a few of the boys walking towards the main house. The boy’s Dorm was opposite the girl’s, but far enough away that you could only barely see its roof through your window, if you cared to look.  
“Alright, Y/N?” One of them called out to you, and you smile at him blankly whilst scanning your eyes over the boys’ uniforms, analysing any little detail that you could.

“Why don’t you even acknowledge me? Am I invisible?” Isabel squealed indignantly, pulling her red hair into its normal style - two ponytails at the base of her head. As she continued to poke fun at the boy, sniping and poking her tongue out, you utterly ignore her rant. Focusing your attention on the boy; he wasn't the worst boy you had ever met - although Jean Kirstein had a disturbing talent for annoying you. He didn't even have to try, most days.

It was on that thought that you then deigned to reply to his comment. “I'm not too bad, Jean. By the way - what lesson did you have fifth period yesterday?”

Jean stuttered a bit in his mocking retort to Isabel, looking a bit stunned at the random question. You look at him sharply, focusing your E/C eyes on his brown ones. Taking a breath, he answered your question slowly, thoughtfully. “Weaponry – it was weaponry.”

Nodding your head so that your H/C hair bounced in its ponytail, you gave him a smile to calm him down before asking another question. “Which weapon did you study?”

“Ropes, I believe. It was, right?” Jean looked to his friend for confirmation, and was obviously soothed by his black haired friend nodding silently. The other boy was called Marco Bott, you knew, as he was also in your year. He was a lot more pleasant than Jean; he was normally reserved with his words, like he truly thought about them before delivering them in a soft, well-spoken manner. You also liked the fact that the two were never seen apart. In the odd way that friendships could balance and complete the other, Marco and Jean displayed it.

Another boy approached your little group then, and you switched your attention towards him.

His hands were firmly in his pockets, and he shivered under his blazer. You didn't know much about him - he was a first year, but he was always the quiet one, the silent one in the corner. He had a girlfriend in your year as well - but you didn't know her name. They were just a couple in the background. But you were too focused on getting out of Assassination Academy and acing the exams to be worried about relationships. Who cared about relationships when you have to risk yourself dying every day within the world that you lived in?

Jean waved at you with a smirk as they reached the main building just before you – literally by half a step - where several students were now loitering. You banished the boys from your mind as you scanned the scene with professional ease.

“Do I even want to know why you were talking to that horse-face?” Isabel asked, but groaned as she realized that you were no longer listening to her. You were in your own world, analysing the scene in front of you and nothing else. Giving up on understanding you, Isabel merely followed you to the main house, ready to think and see and learn.

You saw several groups branch out, trying to complete the first task: to find the subject. Sometimes, students would form teams to complete the midnight lesson, and bond together in their unique skills – skills based in assassination and detective work.

You weren't worried, though. Not when you had a team all of your own.

You didn’t have to look to know that Isabel was behind you, gathering your team. It only made sense for Isabel to be with you - she couldn't function with anyone else. You could sense the team there, waiting in a trusting silence for you to make your move. And you would make your move - and soon.

“Y/N?” Isabel said, walking towards you. You glanced at her, just in time to see her trip over thin air and collapse into the dust at your feet. 'Owwww!'

You could barely stop your lips from curving into a midnight smile, so instead you roll your eyes and gave her a patronising look that she grinned at. How she managed to even pass the assassination exams every year with her clumsiness was beyond even your understanding.

“Isabel,” you said, trying but now failing to repress a grin, “let's get started, shall we?”

Isabel's green eyes began to sparkle with an animalistic kind of delight, and you couldn’t help but also feel excited. But you cursed yourself, crushed that enjoyment. You shouldn't be enjoying it - you were an assassin. Strictly professional, stone-cold, unfeeling.

You were Y/N L/N, and you were the best.

***

From your place on the front lawn of the manor house, you had to admit that the main house was huge; it was almost like a palace on top of a hill, lording over the lesser buildings such as the stable and the Dorms. Lights were flickering on and off as students went through the different rooms, searching, seeking answers or clues. You could spot Jean on the first floor through the floor to ceiling window, and smirked to yourself as you watched him trip over nothing. That smile grew as you also spotted Marco face-palming himself only a few meters behind Jean.

You gave yourself five seconds to look around and gather all of the information that you could, limiting yourself to only five so that you were at least somewhat presented with a challenge. Focusing, you drowned out the noise of Isabel and your team in the background and took in all that you could.

Growing frustrated after five seconds were up, you realize that you need more information - it didn't help that all of the other students had destroyed any tracks of any kind. You begrudgingly stalk your way towards the massive twin doors that were already ajar from students searching in the main house. You push your way to them, not caring about the people that you had to brush off. However, the feelings were not mutual.

“Watch it!”

The voice came suddenly, without warning. Startled, you turned and saw a girl with brown hair and freckles advancing towards you; she was wearing trousers instead of the skirt that females were meant to wear, and she’d added an army patterned belt. You knew this girl - Ymir. She was akin to Isabel in many ways – in the stubbornness, in the way that she walked. Although, when Isabel glared at you with that amount of hatred, it was normally because you had stolen one of her cookies. With Ymir, you knew that there was only one thing that you could have done to annoy her that much.

Looking around, you spotted the small blond girl a few meters from you, on the ground from where you had probably pushed her. Understanding that Ymir might well kill you there, you hastily pull the tiny girl up.

“I'm so sorry!” Krista gushed, smiling sadly and brushing off her skirt. Krista Lenz – a small girl with huge blue eyes, which were currently looking at you as though she were scared you were about to hit her – or worse, yell at her. “I didn't mean to get in your way, I just wanted to look inside!”

You were almost shocked at her prettiness as those huge eyes were fixed on you with a gleam of life within them. You’d never seen eyes like that before; why were they rendering you speechless?

“What can I do to make it up to you? I'll do-“

“Cute!” You say abruptly, cursing yourself when you realize that you spoke out loud. Krista blinked in confusion, and was even more shocked when you bowed and apologized. “I'm sorry, Krista. I didn't mean to push you.”

“N-no, don't apologize! It was my fault!”

“No, it wasn't,” interrupted Ymir, finally reaching Krista's side. “Miss L/N had every need to apologize.” With that, the girl was glaring at you from where she was hugging Krista from behind. At this point, you had collected your senses enough to glare right back at her. But with Krista's blue eyes pleading with you, you decided to give in - if only because you were wasting time.

“Alright, Miss Lenz. I know what you can do to make it up to me.”

“No,” growled Ymir, but Krista held up a hand. Falling silent, Ymir fell back into glaring into your E/C eyes with immense and eternal hatred. That easily, the small girl had leashed the wild beast.

“Call me Y/N,” you said, winking at her. Krista brightened at an impossible pace, beaming in such a way that you were fairly sure that you could hear the nearby boy's hearts implode.

“Y/N ,” she said, drawing it out. The way she sounded your name almost sent shudders down your spine, even as you cursed yourself for wasting even more time. “And you shall call me Krista!”

“Krista,” you agreed, and walked off without any farewell. You had had enough with wasting time – although, at least it finally gave everyone else in the school a chance at finding the body.

You reached the doors, but make no move to go in. Instead, you crouched by the handles, your E/C eyes gathering all of the information that you needed. You looked at the lock, the handle; you counted the number of fingerprints on the smooth metal. Then, turning on your heel, you finally face your other team members, who were waiting just a few metres behind you.

Isabel was closest. Her eyes were beaming at you, expectant and eager for your evaluation. Sasha Braus and Connie Springer were behind her, and you only had to flash your eyes at them to know that they were having another ridiculous fighting match, all whilst Sasha was clutching a bag of food in her left hand. Then there were the three that never seemed to be apart. Reiner, Bertoldt and Annie.

The last three were just standing there, arms crossed and their faces were dull, bored and expectant; they were waiting for you. Normally, you simply did not take as much time as you had tonight. Sighing at Reiner’s particularly pointed glance, his eyebrow raised in a silent question, you walk away from the main house.

You begin to meandering your way to where the stables were, about half a mile down the sand road. The six people behind you groaned as they started to follow you into the darkness of the night, away from the light and distant laughter of the students within the manor house.

“Y/N,” Isabel started as they started to walk, “have you done any studying for the tests next week?”

You smile at her, but it was a snake's smile; it was the one that they give you when they're about to pounce. “No, not much – it’s not like I need to. Do I even dare to ask about your studying?”

The girl snorted and shook her head, slipping back into her lazy demeanour. Isabel was well known as the laziest girl within the entire school; her napping during classes was viewed as a common happening. Indeed, if she was awake during the class, it was immediately seen as an important lesson to the rest of the students. This was seen as hilarious by you, because as soon as she got out of lessons it was like she was permanently having a sugar rush.

“So – we’re going to the stables?” Reiner spoke up, occasionally reaching out to save Isabel from falling asleep on her feet and tripping over something. You nodded at him, and he raised the same eyebrow, obviously demanding an explanation. You grimace and began obliging his silent request.

“The school uses sand as a path for a reason. There were no footprints leading around the back way into the manor in the sand, and there hasn’t been any wind tonight to sweep  
tracks away.”

“How do you know that, Y/N?” Bertoldt then asked, frowning so that his brown eyes scrunched up in concentration. You sigh, although it was mostly for show. Bertoldt rolled his eyes at your irritation, but listened with intense concentration as you continued with your lecture.

“I left my window open with a candle on the ledge outside. If there was any wind, the candle would have been blown out, or would have flickered enough to gain my attention. It was still alight when I left the dormitory, so that stands as proof that there was no wind. Is that enough information for you boys?” You raised your eyebrows at the two, silently  
daring them to further question you. Both Reiner and Bertoldt looked down bashfully, but Bertoldt still cocked his head towards you to listen to the rest of your explanation.

“The doors to the manor house are locked and polished every single night at seven o’clock. When I looked the lock over, it hadn’t been picked – otherwise the polish would have been tarnished or scratched, which means that there was no thieving of the key either. It had only been unlocked once, and that was done by the teachers at midnight, because I saw them out of my window.”

“So the building has not been entered?” Reiner said, piecing it together within his mind.

“No,” you said, continuing your way to the stables. “The windows are all sealed shut – they can’t be opened. And the back way is barred by an electric gate, which is at least ten feet high.”

Annie grimaced, but you were slightly relieved. Out of anyone, Annie was your main rival within the first years at Survey Corps. She nearly beats you in the written exams that the school made you do unofficially every month, and her talent with martial arts was liable to one day be better than yours. She was a girl with blond hair, and she had the talent to make boys look at her without trying. In this case, she was throwing her chest out in the movement of a stretch, drawing the boy’s attention even if it was only for a second. “Clever and proud methods, Y/N – like always. But what if the student was already in the school? Then there would be no picking of the lock; they’d just be in the building already.”

“Annie, use your brain.” You lightly tease the girl, who was not having any of it. You flinched slightly as Annie punched your arm with considerable force. “Register was filled by each and every student in the dormitory at seven o’clock. I saw those registers and checked them myself. Every student was in the dormitory by seven, which is the same time that the door was locked.”

Annie looked down, her hair ruffling in its messy bun style. The long fringe dangled in her eyes, which were a hard and icy blue. You could understand why men got lost in them; but for you, she was the girl that kept you on your toes. You couldn’t afford to slack off in your training, because this was the girl that would be breathing down your neck if you  
slipped even an inch.

“So what? We all know Y/N is great at what she does, blah. Why are we going to the stables?” Isabel whined from where she was perched on Reiner's back. He didn't look too thrilled at being used for Isabel's transport, but with the fiery girl there were not many options for objections.

You smiled nastily at Isabel, who merely stuck her tongue out at you. “Call it a gut feeling.”

The girl growled from her position on Reiner's back. “And now we’re resorting to trusting your stomach. Fantastic news, that is.”

“Shut up,” you murmured. You didn't tell them of the lights you had seen through your window just a few minutes before midnight; you knew that whoever they were, the student had definitely headed here. The inspection of the lock at the school was just a check - a check to see if you were right.

The stable loomed into sight from the darkness, and there was a certain chill in the air that told you immediately that somewhere near, there was death. The shiver started as a cool feeling at the small of your back and crept up your spine with icy fingers. You always felt it, no matter where you were – if there was death nearby, you’d feel the same fingers of ice dance down your spine.

“I think,” Bertoldt said, breaking the cold silence, “that perhaps you were right, Y/N.”

You merely stated, “I know,” and proceeded to open the wooden door of the stable. Connie and Sasha were the first ones to go in. They weren't smiling any more, and you allowed all of them to filter in through the doors until you followed.

Connie's voice called out to the group almost immediately. “Task one is complete. We found the subject.”

Annie looked disinterested. “Who is it?”

“I don’t know his name, he’s only been here a week.”

You sigh through your nose as you continued to watch out for any other students approaching the stable. Survey Corps worked through a strange series of methods – and this one related to the teachers. Rank A teachers were the heads of subjects and departments; rank B were the regular teachers, for assigned to each subject to teach first years, second years and third years.

Then there were the rank C teachers. Rank Cs were all actually criminals who had all been given the death sentence, and so Survey Corps had hired them on as teachers until one student on midnight, every Friday, chose them as their target. They were easily replaceable; criminals were everywhere. You look around, and then quietly murmur to your team. “Alright, I'm going to call it.”

“W-what? Y/N, we have no clue what killed him!”

“Isabel's right, Y/N. We don't even know who the murderer is yet.”

You growl, making both Isabel and Reiner fall silent immediately. Sasha, knowing immediately what you wanted, jumped up and passed you a phone. “If I say that I'm going to call it,” you hiss, letting your E/C become hard and full of fury, “then I am going to call it.”

The phone was a plain black one, a simplistic flip phone that one student from each team are issued at Friday, six o'clock. It had no access to any network or internet, but there was a single number programmed onto each one of these phones. It was this number that you called now, with the rest of your team waiting with baited breaths.  
“Hello, student. I want a name, a weapon and the location of the body.”

***

You take a deep breath, like you always did before telling the person on the other end of the phone the answer. There was an uncomfortable smell at the back of your throat; you were sure of yourself - you knew that. But...

~Another boy approached them and you switched your attention towards him.

His hands were firmly in his pockets, and he shivered under his blazer. You didn't know much about him - he was a first year, but he was always the quiet one, the silent one in the corner. He had a girlfriend in your year as well - but you didn't know her name. They were just a couple in the background.~

It was him - you knew that he was the murderer, without a doubt. But did you want to ruin his life, as well as his girlfriend's? She'd probably hate you for the rest of her duration at Survey Corps. But no matter how much she hated you, she'd never hate you more than how much you hated yourself.

That was it; one of the secrets that you kept from everyone. Everyone seemed to revel in assassination, seemed to thrive on the energy and on the nerve of doing something forbidden. Everyone seemed to love it, absorb and accept the fact that you were killing without reason or purpose. But not you; you hated it, and that was the secret that you swore never to tell anyone. Everyone only saw Y/N L/N, best assassin of the first years of Survey Corps. They never saw the Y/N that still flinched at the sight of blood, who winced whenever she saw a weapon. They never saw, because you kept yourself distant, cold and calculating. So you let them believe, because sometimes it's better to believe and hope than to never believe at all.

“Well, student? I want a name, a weapon and the location of the body, and I don't like to be kept waiting.”

You swallow your thoughts, crushing your useless thoughts. Turning around, you spot Isabel frowning at you from where she sat on the stable floor with her arms crossed. If you didn't tell the phone the name, she might very well be the random student chosen to befall the murderer's fate. And you couldn't do that - not Isabel.

“Franz Kefka, a rope, the stables.”

You hear multiple gasps behind you, but you focus on the phone. “That's correct, student. Three out of three. What is your team name?”

You grin at the people behind you, and Isabel immediately relaxes and falls promptly to the floor. Reiner grins back and high fives Bertoldt, all whilst Annie is vacantly glaring at the wall. You don't see Sasha or Connie anywhere near, but you knew that they were probably off trying to fly from the stable roof. They were safe - your team was safe. They would be safe for one more week.

So it was with that knowledge in mind that made you clear your throat and say to the phone, “The Seven Deadly Sins.”

It was a daunting name. Sasha had been the one to come up with it one night when you, Isabel and Annie decided to sleep over in Sasha's room, and you were surprised to say that it fitted you well. You, Y/N, were pride. “And you have every right to be,” Sasha had said through a mouthful of chips, “being the best and all.” Isabel had demanded to know what place she had, and you remember laughing until your stomach hurt because of the blank look on her face. “S-sloth?” Sasha had stammered, leaning back from the girl until she fell off her chair. It didn't help the situation that Isabel had been snuggled in her bed, up to her ears in blankets and pillows.

“But then, what are you and Connie?”

“Isn't it obvious, Isabel?” You had wheezed as you wiped the tears from your face. “They're greed and gluttony, although I'm not sure who is who.”

“And Annie is lust, because all of the boys like her,” Sasha went on, despite the fact that Annie was giving her the death glare from behind her. “Bertoldt is always complaining how Reiner's better at science than he is - he can be envy.”

“But that leaves Reiner with wrath,” you had said, and were confused when Isabel, Sasha and Annie all looked at you with the exact same fearful look. Sasha and Isabel, you could understand – but if Annie gave you that look as well, you had enough sense to have a feeling of apprehension. “What? Reiner isn't particularly angry, is he?”

Annie shivered, and Isabel and Sasha both looked terrified.

“Y/N chan... You haven't seen him in martial arts class.”

You had cocked your head – you were in the top set, naturally, and from what you knew, Reiner was in the second. “So what? Reiner can't be that angry...” You trail off after seeing Sasha widen her eyes as she chews on a bag of chips.

“He's a monster in that class. One time, a second year called him cocky, and he didn't like that one bit!”

“I remember that! I woke up after I was done napping at the back of the hall, and he was kicking that second year's face into the ground!”

You were surprised, because as you were first years, you almost never got to compete against the second or third years. Reiner must have been very angry to beat a second year; their training was so much harder than the torture the first years were already subjected to.

“He's definitely going to help the world after school.”

You had sighed.

It was well known what students had to do once you were trained at Survey Corps. No one could forget the world from which you were taken, no matter how old you were at the time.

Titans were the main threat of the world now. There were no more wars, although there were definitely two sides: titans and everyone else. They were ruthless human beings, with no real aim or reason to kill. They killed and maimed wherever they were, and recently more and more people were joining them. Humanity was being killed off, because the titans had another warped and disgusting part to their daily life; they were cannibals.

So Survey Corps trained assassins, children who were young and easily disguised, to be able to bring monsters such as the titans down in a single move. You had to admit that Reiner would do well in this after he was trained properly.

The children that the Survey Corps trained could then choose which future they wanted, after the extensive training. They could either choose to help the city, the one remaining city that held the remains of humanity; the other option was to aid and guard the king. The final one was the most heavily persuaded by the school – and it wasn’t hard to understand why. The Survey Corps had a scouting legion that tried to make advances against the titans, tried to take back territory and clear areas.

It was no surprise that their numbers were not exactly high.

The phone died after the person on the other end hung up, and the long beep after it brought your senses back to the present. Your team was muttering about random things, but all of that stopped when Sasha and Connie ran back in. They didn't hesitate to come straight to you, Connie leading and Sasha tripping over Isabel (who was still lying on the floor). “Second years are approaching,” Connie frantically whispered. “You'd better hurry your work up and call the teacher, otherwise they're gonna get here and beat us out.”

You smile and pat his bald head. “I'm way ahead of you, Connie. Three out of three.”

Connie immediately grins and waltzes up to Sasha. “Y/N got it in the first ten minutes! You owe me five deserts, Sasha!”

Sasha was about to reply, fury on every line of her face, before you hit Connie on the head. “Owwch! Y/N, what was that for?”

“Betting on me.”

You all fall silent again once you hear the stable door swing open again, and all seven of you tense at the single sound that the newcomers made.

“Tch.”

“Awww, shortie, the ickle first years beat us to it!”

“Hanji, they are hardly ickle compared to Levi. I doubt they even identified the weapon yet.”

“Hah! Hear that, shortie? Erwin agrees with me that you're short!”

“Erwin also agrees to be seen with you. It doesn't exactly prove his sanity, shitty glasses.”

“WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?”

“Why are you so annoying in general?”

Whilst you listened to the idle banter of the second years, you were sick of waiting for the second years to actually speak to you and your team. If they had the gall to insult you all but never actually address you all, you were going to have a problem. So you stepped forward, even though none of your team made any movement whatsoever. “Can we help you, by any chance?”

“How could brats like you help us at all?”

And with that, the three people stepped into the light provided by a candle that you had lit inside. The first one you noticed was the woman, only because she nearly pounced on you and blocked your view of the other two. She had brown hair that looked like it hadn't seen a shower for a few days and glasses that masked crazy eyes. She began circling you, and you noticed your team members growling and watching her with intense glares. You met each of their gazes, and shook your head in the smallest movement that you could manage. With that, they stepped back to let you handle it - but their eyes gleamed in the light and you knew that they would jump right in if the woman started anything. The woman in question was currently grabbing a notebook and pen out of her satchel, and she randomly grabbed your hand and shook it, ignoring the low warning growl that both Reiner and Annie gave out.

“Hello there! I am Hanji Zoe, and I am a second year! We come in peace, apart from the short one, he probably wants to kill you, but don't take it personally, he wants to kill everyone who breathes or gets a speck of dust within a mile radius of himself.”

“Shitty glasses –“

“Enough, Levi.” One of the men stepped forward, and the first thing that you noticed about him (apart from his eyebrows) was his self-assurance. He moved with a grace that only the rich could have, but you could see the sheer power that his muscles possessed. He was a man who looked like he could easily be on the battlefield or behind walls doing the chess-like planning. His ice blue eyes shone with barely repressed intelligence and you drew yourself up as he swept his eyes up and down your body, assessing you like you were assessing him. “Erwin Smith,” he said, holding his hand out. Whilst you blanched for a single second, knowing that you’d heard his name somewhere, you easily shook that off. You reached out and shook it, his hand easily dwarfing yours. For the first time in many months, you felt almost - wary? Wary that you had found someone that could beat you. That could hurt you.

“Y/N L/N,” you replied, not letting that fear show. You could have sworn that Erwin’s eyes sparked with amusement, but then you heard Hanji scribbling something down in her notebook. Before you could turn and rip it out of her hands, another man stepped forwards.

You did not like this one. You could understand why Hanji called him shortie - she easily dwarfed him. But that wasn't what was worrying you with this one. It was his eyes, his face, his body, his demeanor. No, you did not like this one.

First of all, his eyes were grey - no hint of blue or brown, but pure grey. And if that didn't raise alarm bells, there were no feeling in them at all; you couldn't read him, or his emotions. From what his eyes told you, he didn't have anything to do with emotions, and that was impossible. And his face (whilst nice to look at) was an added factor. His mouth looked like smiling was not an option - ever. his body was muscular, but with a slender and more natural grace than Reiner and Erwin possessed. His speed would be his main weapon.

No, you didn't like him at all.

“Aniki!”

Isabel's voice rang patronisingly throughout the stable, and you turned to look at her. Her eyes were staring at Levi, and you were struggling to think what their connection could be - how would she know this disturbing man to the extent that she called him 'Aniki'?

“Isabel,” he sighed, and for a moment you were scared that he was going to be nice, something you had immediately thought an impossible act. “Move your ass out of the way.”  
Maybe not.

“Shortie, don't be so mean to Isabel.”

“Shut up, shitty glasses.”

He made to move past you, but you held yourself firm. “There isn't any point in us moving.”

“Yes there is, brat. We have a phone call to make.”

“There's no point,” you sang, loving the fact that you could in fact make this man feel something - pure and utter annoyance.

“There's no point in your existence, but here you are.”

“There is a point. My existence is to be the greatest assassin that ever lived, and take back our world from the titans.”

“Tch. It's a useless dream, especially if you can't even identify who murdered the scum teacher behind you.”

Just then, through some stroke of luck, the bell rang in the distance. Everyone knew that when this second bell rang, someone had correctly identified the murderer and they were now to return to their Dorms for register. And the murderer would be taken, never to be seen again.

Levi started, and Erwin and Hanji both stared at him with wide eyes. “Levi - did you-“ Erwin didn't have a chance to finish before Levi shook his head.

“You've been watching me the entire time, Eyebrows. Of course I didn't.”

“But then, who –“

This time, it was Erwin who didn't finish before you barged yourself past both him and Levi.

Your team followed silently after you, and you made sure that all of you were safe and outside before you turned and yelled back at them. “Keep up, second years. There's no point in your existence if I'm the ickle first year who can beat you at this game. Might as well give up now.”

Isabel and Sasha immediately start giggling, and Annie even cracked a smile before Reiner and Bertoldt hoisted you onto their shoulders as your team started walking up the path to where the Dorms were. But that didn't stop you from hearing the final thing that the second years had to say to you.

“Tch, brat.”


	2. Chapter 2 - The Knight

Chapter 2:

So perhaps you had been a little reckless, talking that way to the second years. As Reiner and Bertoldt set you down on the grass beside the girl's Dorm, they were still cheering that they had beaten the second years.

“Seriously Y/N, that was either the best or worst thing you've ever done. Going up against Ackerman...” Reiner shook his head in awe as he and Bertoldt dragged Connie away from Sasha, who had just opened a bag of lollies and was refusing to share them with him.

“Who exactly is Levi Ackerman?” You seethed, remembering his rudeness and his eyes. Oh god, his soulless eyes. “And what was that 'tch' of his anyway?”

“Y/N,” Sasha said, “you insulted him without knowing who he is? Even I wouldn't be that stupid.”

You glare at the ground as you join the line for the girl's Dorm to be registered again. The entire practice had only lasted half an hour from the moment that the first bell had rung  
to the second one. Around you, girls were either moaning about not getting to the body first or moaning about the fact that they had to get out of bed.

“I am so sorry Krista, I failed you.”

“Ymir, no! You didn't fail me at all - I didn't want to see the body anyway!”

You looked in front of you, and sure enough there were Ymir and Krista. It was as though Ymir had eyes at the back of her head, though, because as soon as you looked at them she whipped around.

“Oh, it's you again, L/N.”

“Yo Ymir,” you waved, saving your smile only for Krista. Ymir's lip curled at the casual address. “Long time, no see.” Ymir snorted and shook her head so that her brown fringe danced in her eyes. Krista, however, beamed with a genuine happiness that almost shocked you.

“Y/N! I can't believe that you guessed it so quick!” Despite the fact that you were indeed discussing a teacher’s murder, Krista's smile never slipped from her face.

“W-wait,” you said, the lack of sleep finally creeping up on your brain. “How did you know it was me?”

Krista cocked her head, allowing her blond hair to fall around her face. “Isn't it always you and your team how guesses it?”

You smirked, and Isabel snorted from where she sat on the ground relaxing. “Not always,” Isabel stated morosely, toeing the grass stubbornly at her feet. “Sometimes a second year team gets it before we do.”

“Oh yeah - Team Freedom. Who are they?” You asked, remembering the team name. After a team correctly guess the weapon and the murderer, their team name gets announced to everyone in the school on Monday. It was often either Team Freedom or the Seven Deadly Sins - although you still had no clue who Team Freedom actually were.

“Well, Y/N,” Isabel mused, biting her lip gently, “you just met them.”

Your blood ran cold with shock, but flowed hot when you gathered your senses to be angry. “No way,” you said, staring hard at Isabel. “No freaking way is that Team Freedom.”  
Isabel nodded, but didn't say anything else as the line had finally shortened enough for you to reach the main doors. You signed your name on the register and waited for Isabel and Sasha to do the same before you climbed the winding staircase. “So the eyebrows guy, crazy woman and shortie are Team Freedom, our main rival?”

“Yeah,” Isabel said, nearly walking into a wall. Sasha murmured something unintelligible before she turned into a door and unlocked it with a key shaped and coloured like a lollipop at the circular end. As soon as she shut the door, you gripped Isabel by the elbow and walked to her room, mostly due to the reason that it was right next to your room. She squealed the entire way - all of ten meters.

“Y/N, let me go! Actually, don't, I appreciate the help. Can I lean on you?”

“No.”

“Thanks!” She leant her entire weight on your arm, and you dragged her along effortlessly, the muscles in your arms only slightly strained. You kick open her door and dump her on her bed unceremoniously, hurrying to close the door. Open doors at your back always made you uneasy. You looked around, muttering in annoyance at the sight of homework everywhere and pieces of paper scattered across the floor. Secretly, you liked Isabel's room and how it felt like a miniature home. She had pictures of everyone hung up on her wall, and you had never really looked at them before.

But you did now. There were several of you, with your H/C hair swaying in the wind and your E/C eyes dancing as you were smiling at Isabel, who was on the floor beside you after tripping over a tree root. There was your team, posing in the most ridiculous positions in front of the manor building, and even though you remember Annie flatly refusing to join in, she was still striking the same pose as everyone else with a real smile on her face. There were so many selfies of Connie and Sasha together, and Reiner and Bertoldt's ballerina poses nearly made you laugh just looking at it.

“Y/N,” Isabel muttered sleepily from her bed, “you seem angry.”

“I’m always angry in this school,' you say with a hint of a smile, looking back at her. “Who is Levi to you, anyway?”

“Levi's my Aniki.” Isabel said simply, as though there was nothing more to say. “It was him, Farlan and I, together.”

“Together? When?”

“Before.”

You tried not to grit your teeth at the short, uninformative answers and failed miserably. Isabel huffed a laugh as she beheld your teeth exposed in what you thought was a fairly threatening gesture. Giving up on that before she laughed at you more than she already had, you tried again. “Before when, Isabel?”

Isabel groaned and reached into her bedside table, where there were a few dusty pictures hiding under books. “Why don't you trust me, Y/N?”

She passed you a photograph and you took it between two fingers. You watched as your best friend went to sleep right in front of your eyes, and smirked as her soft snorts began to make themselves known. She looked so much like a child when she slept. You drew her blankets over her body and let yourself out of her room, shutting her door carefully behind you. “I trust no one, Isabel,” you whispered to her closed door. “But if I could trust, I would trust you.” Then you made your move to unlock your door.

Only to find that it was very obviously unlocked - the handle was knocked off. You were immediately on your guard, your hand going straight for one of your daggers from your weapons belt. Your left hand still clutched Isabel's photograph, but you weren't going to need two daggers for this - hopefully.

Kicking the door so that it opened with a loud click, you sprung into your room with your dagger already slicing, only to see that the person who was inside was already ducking and diving for your chest. Swiftly, you brought the dagger sharply upwards to protect yourself, shifting your body so that the person flew right past you and into the wall.  
You regained your balance and knelt by your intruder, who was currently giggling and muttering something about adding this incident to her 'records of science.' Knowing who it was, you flicked on your lights and looked down at Hanji, currently sitting on the floor after whacking her head on your wall. Sitting down on your bed and pushing Isabel's picture under your pillow with a swift movement, you sighed and began.

“What in Titan's name are you doing in my bedroom?”

“Waiting for you, naturally! You were quite the stunner, Y/N, and insulting Levi like that - I am in awe!”

You shake your head, and casually balance your dagger by its tip on one finger. “If you were waiting for me, why not just wait outside my door?”

Hanji looked shocked for a split second, and then started giggling and scribbling in her notebook again. “So it's true that you're also a genius, Y/N - can I call you Y/N?”

“No.”

“Fantastic, Y/N! But I didn't come just to tell you that you annoyed Levi - I know that you already knew that yourself.” Without stopping to check that you were keeping up with her, the woman just kept rambling on. “Erwin wants to know how you knew the weapon and the name of the murderer. After you left, with that awesome parting line by the way, we went back to check on the body ourselves, and Erwin said that he had no idea how you would know who the murderer was.”

You burst out laughing, almost upsetting the dagger on your finger. “Erwin, the great leader of Team Freedom, doesn't know who the murderer was? He's asking me, an ickle first year? Oh, this is too good.”

“Well, he probably already knows now, because he'll have checked the registers and seen which boy is missing.”

“How do you know that it was a boy?” You ask.

“Because I've already checked the girl's register, and there is no one missing.”

“Of course you have,” you sighed, leaning back on your pillows. If there was one thing you liked about your own room, it was the number of pillows - they were extensive. “Well, I knew it was a rope because I knew that there had been a robbery in the classroom W4 yesterday. I heard a few of the teachers talking about it when they thought no one could hear.”

“A weaponry classroom,” Hanji said, her eyes glimmering. “How did you know which weapon was stolen?”

“Because the only lesson that had been in that classroom yesterday was last period, and the weapon that they were studying was –“

“A rope,” Hanji interrupted. You shake your head.

“Not just any rope - it was soaked in a poison, and I knew that from the smell in the stable. Hay and horses don’t smell that sickly sweet; the smell of the poison hung in the back of my throat. It was obvious.”

“Couldn't you have told all that from looking at the body?”

You looked at Hanji and smiled, but she knew that there was something wrong. “Sometimes, I don't have to look at the body to know what's wrong.”

“Let me get this straight,” Hanji said, scribbling frantically in her notebook. “You got all of that - and didn't even look at the body?”

“Nope,” you said, reaching behind you and unwrapping your weapons belt from around your waist. “And then, when I was looking around under the pretext of checking my theory of the whereabouts, I was really just looking at people. I knew both registers were full - Reiner always checks the boys and I do the girls, so I knew everyone was here. And then, there was a boy.”

“Franz Kefka.”

“Yes. He had his hands in his pockets, which immediately alerted me - he's in my martial arts class, and he was a martial arts user before any other weapon. He was nearly a master. He once even told me to never put my hands in my pockets, because it was a dangerous waste of time if you were attacked. It wasn't cold, so why would he put them in his pockets? Then I saw his wrists, just the tiniest amount of skin showing - and it was purple and pockmarked, which was the effect of accidentally touching the poison that he used on the rope to kill the teacher. So I knew.”

“Amazing,” Hanji mused. “Alright, that's enough for tonight - I need my beauty sleep.”

“And a lot of it, I'd say,” you mumbled. Luckily – or very unluckily, she didn't appear to hear you as she sprung up and ran out of your door.

“Goodnight, Y/N! See you tomorrow!”

“Not if I can help it,” you said, able to talk now that she couldn't hear. After a few minutes, you had fixed your door handle and had showered quickly, throwing on a long shirt and climbing into bed. You allowed your pillow to swallow you, and only then did you draw out Isabel's picture.

There were three people in the picture, and the first thing that jumped out at you was that the setting wasn't in Survey Corps. It was taken in a village, judging by the buildings in the background. On the dusty path, there was a young Isabel (you guessed at ten years old) with the very same red hair and green eyes, running down a path after a flying bird. Behind her, two young teenagers were laughing together in the background. One was tall with tawny hair and brown eyes that seemed to emit happiness. He was very cute, you noticed, even if he was around thirteen. He looked somewhat familiar, too...

Then your eyes fell on the third figure, and your heart stopped. Those eyes, that hair, that figure - you couldn't forget it. They were the same soulless eyes, the same daunting grey and his hair was in the same style.

But he was smiling.

Levi, the second year who may well be your biggest enemy besides the titans, was able to smile.

You didn't sleep well that night. Your dreams were haunted by the figure of a demon who could wear the smile of an angel.

You had never been more terrified.

***

Whenever a person wakes up to Sasha Braus and Isabel Magnolia jumping on their bed, it seems perfectly natural to assume that this day was going to be a bad one.

So you felt that kicking them off so that they landed on the floor in a harsh tangle was perfectly justified. After you were satisfied that the two wouldn't climb back on top of you, you rolled over to look at your clock - and then sat bolt upright.

“Y/N?” Isabel said, disturbed by your silence and your abrupt position. You turned to look at her, and then your eyes rested on Annie from where she sat on the chair by your desk. You pointed to the belt next to her.

“Pass me my belt. I have some people that I want to murder, and I don't feel like wrecking my nails at 5 o'clock in the morning.” Annie's only reply was to shake her head, allowing her blond hair to fall around her face in a soft cloud.

“Come on, Y/N!” Sasha pleaded, offering you a biscuit from the packet that she had clenched in her hand. You took the snack, and after seeing the light appear in her eyes as though she thought that she had calmed you, you threw it out the open window. You watched her scramble up and run towards your window, and felt a bit better when you heard her whimpering.

“Cookie... Come back! Come back to Sasha, now,” Sasha murmured, as though the crisp could sprout legs and walk to her. Annie looked at you, amusement shimmering in her  
eyes.

“That was particularly evil, even from you. I like it.”

“Annie,” yelled Isabel, still flopped on the floor, “don't encourage Y/N like that! She might just do something against you next.”

Annie immediately lost her amusement and glared at you with wicked intelligence. “Y/N could try,' she contemplated, “but she'd regret it.”

“You'd be the one regretting –“ Isabel started, but was shut up by you throwing a pillow at her head. It hit her spectacularly in the middle of her face, and all you saw was Annie’s satisfied smirk as Isabel was forced to sit down on the blue carpet of your floor due to the force of your pillow.

“I don't have the effort or patience to deal with any of you. Leave me alone - it is a Saturday.” You said, falling face first back into your nest of pillows. Saturday and Sundays were the student's days off, and they could either spend all day in Dorms doing homework, visit the classrooms to practice on skills that needed to be brought up to scratch, or could tour the extensive grounds; Survey Corps had a farm, a lake and a forest within the huge wall that circled the entire establishment. You had every intention to spend today perfecting a skill that was much needed in life - the art of sleeping.

Isabel, it seemed, had other plans. “Y/N,” she said, her eyes growing very serious, “the kitchen is serving {Insert favourite breakfast meal here} today, and soon it will all be gone.”  
Exactly ten minutes later, you were fully showered and dressed in a long jumper and leggings, with hair in {favourite hairstyle here}, but you still had your weapons belt around your hips - you couldn't explain it, but you felt like you'd need them. Running downstairs to go to the Dorm's dining room, where the girls ate their food every day, you skidded to a halt outside the double doors and threw them open with Sasha hard on your heels. You had lost sight of both Annie and Isabel a long time ago, but at that particular moment you didn't care.

It was only when you entered the long room that had several circular tables with pillowed chairs and a huge fireplace at one end, that you noticed the buffet. Your eyes speedily swept the entire surface...

Again...

And again...

But nowhere, on the entire surface of the enormous table, were there {insert your favourite food here.} You froze, locking your muscles into place in order to stop yourself going on a murderous rampage and hitting Isabel really hard on her thick head. You knew why you had brought your daggers now - you had someone to kill.

“Sasha,” Isabel's voice said from behind you, “what's wrong with Y/N?”

Sasha stopped stuffing food into her pockets and turned to look at you. You knew that she saw your deadly aura emitting from your eyes; she froze in anticipation, glancing uneasily between you and Isabel. “Isabel,” she whispered, “I think that you'd better run.”

“Oh,” Isabel said, and you turned to look her green eyes with your currently murderous E/C ones. “Oh,” she said again, as she turned and sprinted her way out of the kitchen. After giving her a second's head start, you grabbed two apples from the table and ran after her, nearly tripping up Annie on the way.

“Can you stop running everywhere?” Annie yelled as you disappeared out the front door in pursuit of Isabel. She dared to get you up at 5 in the morning for nothing? On a Saturday? Oh no - that girl was going to pay.

It didn't take long to track her footprints to the farm. It included two stables, one for horses and one for the cows, and it was surrounded by a courtyard for the goats and chickens. Throwing open a stable door, you only saw a flash of silver wink at you before you flicked up a hand and caught the knife between two fingers. You twirled out of the way before the thrower thought it would be wise to throw another one, but then Isabel's voice yelled out.

“STOP! That's Y/N, you absolute idiot, Aniki!”

“Tch. How was I meant to know that, brat?”

You stepped back into the stable, where there were several horses watching the commotion. There were three people in the stable, and you put on a cool mask of indifference as you walked up to them with no fear at all. You tossed the knife to Levi, who expertly caught it and slipped it into the sheathes at his thigh. At any other time, you might have paused to evaluate the obvious skill that he had in handling the weapon – but this was not one such time. “Isabel,” you growled, focusing on the red-haired girl who immediately looked down at the ground in shame.

“I'm sorry for getting you up this early Y/N, but I wanted you to meet Farlan and Aniki.”

“We've already met, brat. What the hell are you doing?”

“I want you to meet Y/N properly,” Isabel corrected, looking him right in his soulless eyes. “And you are going to be polite to her, because she might just be able to take you down.”

You and Levi both started talking at the exact same time.

“Stop talking brat. Like hell she'd be able to –“

“What in Titan's name do you mean, might be able to? Of course I'd be able to –“

The third person, who you had ignored up till now, stepped forwards with both hands held high. “Alright, stop it. Let's just all agree to be nice, yeah?”

Incredulous, you stared at him hard. You knew him; he was the third boy in Isabel's picture - and he was even more good looking now. He was taller as well - or maybe that was just the effect of standing next to Levi. He sighed and held his hand out to you. “Anyone who's a friend of Isabel is a friend of mine. Farlan Church.”

“Y/N L/N,” you said, shaking his hand and was surprised to feel blisters on his thumb and palm. “I'm not really friends with Isabel at the moment.”

Farlan's brow creased and he looked to Isabel in confusion. “I got Y/N up early on a Saturday,” she briefly explained, ducking behind Levi so that she didn’t have to meet your gaze. Farlan immediately relaxed and grinned at you.

“It's the same with me. I hate getting up early.” You smiled at him with a little trepidation - was he genuinely being friendly, or was he trying to get you to lower your guard?

“Tch. Whilst this is all very touching, what are we doing here?”

You looked back at Levi with hatred in your E/C eyes. Isabel gripped your hand in hers, and to everyone this may seem a cute and friendly gesture. But you both knew that its real purpose was to stop you from leaping and tearing out Levi's throat with your daggers. “We're going riding,” Isabel said, gesturing towards the horses. “There's been a new trail opened up through the forest, and I didn't want to go alone.”

“So you want us to babysit you?” Levi spat, and turned on his heel to storm out of the stables. You would have been happy to see him go, but Farlan's eyes met Levi's. He turned and stomped towards a black horse with a white patch on his shoulder. “Let's go then, brats.”

You heard Farlan sigh in relief, and almost smiled as Isabel cheered next to you. “I choose Strawberry!” She yelled happily, and bounded towards the red horse who was currently nuzzling the small stormy grey mare next to it. She dragged you with her, so you naturally chose that small stormy grey one who had the wildest glint in its eye that made you hesitate - but only for a second. You stood in front of the horse and patted its head, and Isabel whispered to you from where she was encouraging Strawberry to come out of his stall. “I wouldn't, Y/N. That one's unnamed, she can't be broken - she's thrown off every rider. She's due to be put down.”

You glared the horse in the eyes, and she seemed to look right back at you. “I choose you,” you whisper to her, and she nods as though in agreement. “And that means that you are mine. Let's fly, shall we?”

You lead her out of her stall without any problems. It was when you held up a saddle that she began freaking out. Looking her in the eyes, you understood that she had had some bad experiences with a saddle - so you'd go without one. The same happened when you touched reins, so now you waited with a horse outside the stables waiting for the others. Isabel joined you first, and Strawberry immediately went to stand next to your horse. Isabel looked at the determined glint in your eyes and decided (a very wise choice) not to question your decision to go without a saddle or reins.

Farlan and Levi walked out together, Levi with his tall black and white stallion, and Farlan with his golden brown one. Farlan walked over to where you stood with Isabel and laughed with you as you watched Isabel try to mount Strawberry and fail, falling on her backside two times before finally hoisting herself over onto the saddle. “Your turn, miss L/N.” Farlan said, holding out a hand to help you onto your horse.

You smile at him, politely taking his hand and climbing onto your horse. “Please, call me Y/N, Mr Church.”

“Only if you call me Farlan,” he grinned; making sure you weren't going to slip off, he then turned gracefully and began walking off to his horse. You leaned forward, finding a comfortable position on the bare back of your horse and talking quietly in her ear.

“Listen up. If you run faster than that stallion over there, the one with the midget on top, I'll make sure that you aren't killed. Deal?” You horse whinnied and you grinned at Isabel. You randomly checked the direction of the wind with your finger - northwest - and nodded to Isabel. “I'm ready.”

You knew what Isabel was going to do. She widened her eyes at you, attracting your attention, and counted down from three on her fingers so that only you could see. You and her would take off and leave the boys behind in three......two.......

Levi and Farlan took off on their horses, leaving you and Isabel in the dust. She took off next, screaming after the two boys. “THAT WAS NOT FAIR!”

“Please, brat, we know you too well.”

“You thought we were going to let you go first, Isabel?”

You sat on your horse, stunned. “There's a Greek god called Skiron, who was the god of the northwest wind. If you can catch up and overtake them, I'll call you Skira {pronounced Sky-ra) and call you the horse of the winds.”

Skira reared, causing you to grip her sides with your legs and clutch around her neck with both hands. She took off, and you could feel everything because of the lack of a saddle - you could feel every muscle working, every hoof punching the earth below you.

But you could also feel the sheer power of her legs, and you could see that Isabel, Farlan and Levi were getting nearer, and nearer...

As you overtook Isabel, your spirits soared. As you passed Farlan, you laughed at his face - which was beaming at you. And as you passed Levi...

You laughed and allowed your H/C to flow behind you in the wind, feeling the wind soar around you as though it accepted you into the skies. You were flying. But another thing that you could feel through Skira's back was that she was just playing, not even trying to go fast. She was just enjoying the run.

“Stop enjoying yourself so much. It's irritating!” Levi's voice said from somewhere behind you.

So you lean forward, not worrying about anything, allowing the wind to sweep your worries away. “Come on, Skira. Let's fly.”

***

The wind caressed your face as you continued to ride Skira into the forest. The leaves were fresh and green and flowers were sprouting slightly from the ground underneath Skira's hooves - it was truly spring now, you thought, as you shivered slightly. You had been at Survey Corps since the start of September; only now did you really think about the seven months you had spent at the academy. You didn't think about before - before was bad. But you thought about your entire time spent here.

Most of it had been spent training your body so much so that it became toned and used to running, becoming so used to weapons that they were as much a part of you as your hands. You had climbed to the top of the first years, and at Y/A you felt this was quite impressive. {A/N: sorry, you'll have to adapt the story to suit your age. Y/A = your age, and make all first years Y/A, second years one or two years older, third years two or three years older than that. I hope that makes sense!}

But you wanted to be more. You wanted to be the one to take the world back from the titans, using all of the rage you had stored up through the years you had spent growing and   
training.

You didn't notice Skira had stopped moving until she bent her head down, straining the muscles and alerting you to your surroundings. You were surrounded by a small pond, with lilies and other flowers growing through the surprisingly clear liquid. If you craned your neck, you could even spot a few fish twisting through the coolness of the water, before they were scared off by Skira drinking the water. You hopped of the horse, allowing her to relax a little, and began to scan your surroundings for Isabel.

But Isabel didn't come. Not even when Skira had finished drinking and began cropping contentedly on the grass surrounding the cool glen. So, tiredness creeping up on you, you chose the biggest and wildest looking tree that you could and sat down on the roots, which were protruding at irregular intervals all around you. Leaning back, you began to sink into a blissful silence, and the tiredness at being up for half the night and then woken early in the morning began to creep up on you. So you closed your E/C eyes, and fell asleep to the tune of the wind dancing with the leaves.

***

“Brat, what the hell are you doing?”

The voice seemed to call you from your dream of nothingness. Rolling onto your other side, you groaned quietly but didn't open your eyes - you knew that you didn't want to see that face.

“Oi, brat. Wake up.”

“No,” you slurred, curling into a ball. You were too warm, too comfy, too perfectly peaceful to bother waking up. You felt a presence at your back, and although your instincts immediately scream at you to pick up your daggers and get ready to slice, you couldn't be bothered. Maybe this was a dream - yes, that made sense. You wouldn't be this peaceful if it was real life.

“Isabel has been looking for you for an hour. She's with Farlan losing her mind right now.”

“Kay.”

“No, brat, don't say 'kay'. You worried her.”

“I'll tell her sorry... Later...”

“Why don't you get off your ass and go tell her now?”

“Because you're a dream, silly,” you murmured, snuggling deeper into your jumper. “When I wake up, I promise to tell her.”

“But I'm not a dream –“

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” You hissed, clenching your eyes closed. You heard him move closer and sit at your back, and the warmth from his legs seeped into your back. You sighed and relaxed further, willingly going back into the dream of nothingness.

“Tch. I might as well take a nap as well - Isabel got me up at five too. Stupid brat.”

You were too far gone to register if he meant you or Isabel, but you still smiled as you fell deeper into sleep.


	3. Chapter 3 - The Castle

Chapter 3

Your mind snapped awake. You remembered a dream, a voice... No, not just a voice. It had been his voice. Your eyes flew open and you leaped up from your position - your body compiled without much hesitation, sleep slipping away like water spilled on a smooth surface.

The first thing that you saw was that there was no Levi next to you, nor where you were sleeping. You felt relief - that would have been embarrassing if he'd have seen you in that state. How in Titan's name would you make him believe the fact that you were the best if you couldn't even stay awake after a night up and running?

The second thing that you saw, a sight that brought doom to your relief, was Levi's stallion standing next to Skira, and they were still quite happily eating the grass (you were quite surprised that there was any grass left). Dazzled, you shook your head left and right, trying to spot the short man, but he was nowhere to be seen. You calmed yourself, shaking off the last traces of sleep. You walked over to the pond and splashed your face with the cool water, and focused.

You didn't have to spot Levi. You focused your ears for any sound of breathing, your nose for any trace of perfume or deodorant, or the unusual sense that told you that you were being watched. You slipped into a defensive pose, squatting with muscles tensed and ready to run. You could sense him here - he was most definitely here. You inched your   
hands slowly towards your daggers, keeping the movements slow so that you wouldn't make any more noise.

The tree's branches next to you rustled, and almost exactly at the same time one of your daggers was flying. It buried itself into the centre of the movement, and you were disappointed and relieved at the same time to hear the thud of it colliding with wood and not a human. Your keen eyes then picked up on the wire - it would have been invisible, if it weren't for the sun shining in the exact angle that it was. A thin wire was attached to the branch that you had just attacked; that was how he had got it to move.

Your eyes followed the wire to where it led to another branch that was well concealed with leaves - he had to be there. That was how your second dagger went flying towards that branch, but you had aimed it so that it wouldn't hit him in any place that mattered - like his foot, or where his hand would be resting.

But you were once again surprised to hear the very same thud of metal on wood. And that was when he made his move.

You spotted him the second that he started moving. He had been lying on the branch above where you were sleeping, covered in a natural canopy of shadows and leaves. Too late, you spotted the wire that was connecting the second branch to his; he had known that you'd spot the wire and strike at the second - leaving you without a weapon.

He moved beautifully, like the fire dancing as it devours the wood. He flipped himself off the branch, landing on his feet on the ground with little sound. His horse looked up and trotted away from the area between you and him, and after a glance from you, Skira followed. They stood in the shade of the trees, watching the dominance battle between you - and him.

Levi looked at you and smirked; it was very different from a smile. This move clearly sent a message: 'I am better than you.'

So you cock your head and smirk back. Levi grabs his throwing knives from their covers on his thighs and stalks steadily closer. “Good morning, brat. I want to teach you something, and you'd better not forget it.”

You steel yourself, willing yourself to lose all strength and force your limbs to remain at your side. You didn't need weapons; not when you yourself were a weapon forged in hatred and ambition.

Levi continued to saunter towards you, wielding his knives with deadly skill. You watched every move with hawk's eyes, remembering even the smallest detail. You kept your eyes open, watching which arm he favoured, which leg he stepped on first.

And so you only watched as he dropped his knives in both hands and punched you, full on in the jaw. You felt the shock, felt the impact. But you kept your eyes open, watching as he threw another punch, and another, and another. Even as you allowed yourself to fall down and watched him throw kicks, to your stomach, to your legs and chest, you kept your eyes open, watching everything through the blood - your blood. You didn't allow yourself to feel the pain - not yet.

“You are a first year, and you'll be the first to die when facing the titans. You may be good at playing detective, brat,” and he kicked you again, and you clenched your teeth as you finally felt the pain, “but you'll never beat me again.”

When he finally paused for breath, you didn't have to look at yourself to know that you were a mess. As he saw you getting up, he looked ready to strike you again. But you held up a hand, laughing. You laughed through the pain in your legs, spitting the blood from your mouth.

“I wouldn't bet on that,” you said, grinning at the bewildered look in his eyes. You had just taken a beating to hell, and yet you had the guts to laugh at him? “I'll always beat you, Levi Ackerman, because I am better than you.”

“Maybe you aren't seeing what I am, brat. I see a broken and shitty first year who goes around with her head up her ass and tells everyone that she's the best, and is now bloody and broken without even lifting a finger to stop her attacker.” Levi now looked on you with a glimmer of worry on his face, and you watch him assess your condition. You knew nothing was broken - you hadn't let anything be broken.

“You will never beat me, Ackerman.” You grinned, getting up and walking back over to the pool. You splashed and washed your face with the water again, cleaning the cut along your forehead.

“I just did, brat, to hell and back.”

“That wasn't beating me fairly,” you insisted, tossing your hair out of your face. “To beat me, you first have to challenge me to an official match. And then, if I fight back and you manage to somehow get me on the floor and losing, only then will I allow you to say that you beat me. Because that wasn't a match and that most definitely wasn't me fighting back.”

“Listen-“ Levi hissed, taking a step closer.

“Oh no,” you said, slapping him around the face. He froze then, his eyes glaring at you with a ferocity that you had never seen before. “You listen to me. I let you throw your little kicks and punches. I didn't lift a finger, but I was watching every move you made, every single second of that little incident. Now, I know more about what signs you make before you throw a jab with your right arm than even you do. Now, I will always be able to beat you.”

Dancing and skipping to each of the branches and retrieving your daggers, you smile at him with ire painted in every inch of your face. And with that, you turned and climbed on top of Skira, and kicked her sides lightly. She had just broken into a trot when you realized that Levi was right beside you on top of his stallion, holding his head proud and his facial features indifferent.

“Can I help you?” You asked, the jaunting angle of your mouth twisting in some kind of cruel humour; his mouth quirked up a little in response, even as his eyes flashed with irritation. Not irritation at you, exactly – irritation and surprise that you had managed, even for the briefest of seconds, to amuse him.

“How could you ever expect to help me?” He said, and you were shocked at the simple and small smile that he had. Apparently, so was he, because it slipped back into a frown sooner than you'd have liked. “Does anything hurt?”

“Not unless I let it,” you say, ignoring the pain that slowly but surely ignited your legs.

“Have you heard the saying, 'keep your friends close, but your enemies closer?'”

Now it was your turn to frown. “Of course. But I generally keep no one close.”

He nods, as though this made perfect sense to him. From what little you had heard about him, you supposed that he was probably the one person that actually understood. “I thought that you would. But that saying… It’s never made sense to me before now.”

You didn't question what he meant, because you already knew. You were now his realest enemy, knowing each of his moves and quirks. And he wasn't going to let that go until he knew yours, and then maybe challenge you to a very real and very deadly match.

For the first time in a long while, you wondered who would win.

***

“Y/N!”

The shriek nearly startled you from your place on Skira's back, snapping your mind back into focus. You grinned at the sight of Strawberry hurtling towards you, with a wild-eyed Isabel on her back yelling your name. Isabel leaped from Strawberry's saddle onto Skira's back, and you faintly heard the horse grumble at the extra weight before Isabel's arms were around you and squeezing you so hard that you were contemplating shoving her off the horse.

“Isabel –“ you tried to say, but you were cut off by the girl burying her head in the nook of your shoulder.

“Don't you ever do that to me again,” she growled, and you hugged her back before she hit you over your head. You saw stars and had to blink a few times before you grew out of your stunned state and saw Isabel fiercely glaring at you with tears in her eyes. “What happened to your face? Are you okay?”

“Isabel,” you sighed in reluctant appreciation. She glared at you, and so you nodded, rubbing your head and smiling at her, “I'm very sorry for running so fast and beating you.” Ignoring her other questions, you played the sarcastic remark well and Isabel immediately responded. You could tell immediately by the flash in her eyes that she was perfectly aware of the fact that you’d dodged her questions, but Isabel was the kind of girl to accept that you’d tell her the answers in your own time.

“And so you should be,” Isabel nodded, hopping off of Skira and patting her head gingerly. “I thought that us girls had to stick together in the face of a race!”

“Like that's ever been a thing!” You told her, looking around. You were just on the edge of the forest, looking over the hills at the grounds of Survey Corps. If you squinted, you could see the top of the manor house peeking at you from the other side of the hills of fields and crops. You were disrupted in your thoughts, however, by Levi grabbing your waist and tugging you off Skira's back and placing you on the ground.

“W-what was that for?” You asked, unsteady on your legs but still preparing for Levi to punch you, or maybe start something like a fight.

“You were ignoring me when I told you to get down,” he growled, walking into the forest with his horse by the reign after Isabel and Farlan. The tawny haired boy winked at you, casually widening his eyes and Levi and wiggling his eyebrows. Levi hissed, and before he could go and hit his friend, you stepped in.

“So you grabbed me?” You followed him with Skira behind you and letting you lead her. “That is ungentlemanly and rude –“

“Shut up, brat.”

You continued anyway, enjoying the indignant tone of your voice and the success it was having in annoying Levi. “And a totally unexpected gesture, and let's not get started on how roughly you grabbed my waist –“ You nattered on, sensing that you were getting on his nerves and enjoying it immensely.

“Brat, if you would do me the extraordinary fucking favour of shutting your mouth, I would be much obliged.”

“Now that,” you said, grinning at him, “minus the swearing, was very polite and proper. To reward you, I'll be quiet now.”

“Tch. I am not a dog, so don't reward me like I am one.”

“Well, it's an easy mistake. Dogs are very shor-“

“Finish that sentence, brat,” Levi said, a dangerous tone creeping into his voice as he stepped over the roots of some trees, “and I might just have to kill you.”

You had caught up to Farlan and Isabel at this point, and they were both listening to your conversation with sparkling eyes and grins on their faces. Isabel and Farlan both linked arms with you, one on each side, and they both smiled at you before joining in.

“Y/N,” Isabel said, elaborately wagging her finger at you. “You need to be more specific. You called him a dog and never yet specified as to which breed Aniki is.”

“Honestly Y/N, I can't believe you missed that important detail,” chirped Farlan, ignoring the glare that Levi gave to him. “Because I think that Levi would make quite a fabulous poodle, don't you?”

“Oh, definitely!' You laughed, also ignoring the death aura that Levi was emitting ahead of you. “But Levi's hair isn't that good compared to a poodle's, wouldn't you agree?”

“That's Mr Ackerman to you, brat.” Levi called from ahead, not bothering to turn around.

“Whatever, poodle.”

Isabel had long since been giggling, leaning on your arm quite heavily as she found the comments increasingly humourous. “Aniki,” she gasped, breathing heavily, “where are we going?”

At that, Levi finally turned around with his impassive face glaring at you. “I thought we were following the new horse trail,” he glowered, but Isabel seemed immune to this as she began to frown.

“But we left that trail ages ago, when we were looking for Y/N. Farlan and I just wandered here, and then you started leading so I thought that you knew where we were.”

“Y/N,” Farlan whispered, losing his hold on your arm, “get on your horse and run. I think we'll have to forsake Isabel’s life.”

You nodded, and just before Levi pounced onto Isabel, you sprinted towards Skira and jumped onto her back. She reared in surprise, but took off after Farlan and his horse immediately once she understood that you were on her. Isabel shrieked after you disappeared into the trees.

“Y/N! Don't leave me with an angry Aniki!”

“Tch, shut up brat. Just get on your damn horse and follow them.”

“Strawberry is not a 'damn horse'!”

“Like I care.”

You rode Skira towards Farlan, and you cantered together in silence for a while before you came across the wall looming ahead of you. It was the wall that circled Survey Crops and protected it from the outside world, and it cast quite a huge shadow upon you know as you approached it with Farlan.

“Do you ever want to go out?” Farlan asked you as you dismounted and left the horses in a small clearing. His sharp eyes did not miss the way that your fingers paused their movements at Skira’s reigns, and hurried on with his sentence. “Out of this walled enclosure, I mean.”

“Yes,” you stated, as though there wasn't really another option. “I need to be an assassin and help take the world back from the titans.”

“You don't need to do it, though,” Farlan pondered, placing his hand on the wall and closing his eyes. “Somebody else will.”

“No, they won't. I am the best of the first years, and after a bit more training I will soon be the best, period. If I can't do it and become a true assassin, then there's no one who can.”

Farlan took your hands in his, which surprised you. You stood quite still, motionless, as he gripped your hands and nodded. “Good luck, Y/N. I hope that it goes well for you.” You both understood the world and its horrors, and how his words helped nothing but his conscience. But nonetheless, you stood together in perfect silence, listening to the way that the wind bellowed at the top of the wall.

“Oi, Farlan,” Levi's voice said from behind you, “get your hands off her.”

Farlan dropped your hands and grinned at Levi. You still stood still, now looking at the wall. “I was just checking –“

“I don't give a damn,” Levi interrupted, joining you in staring at the wall. “Her hands are dirty; you don't want that filth on your hands.”

“Actually,” Isabel interrupted, popping up next to you randomly, “Aniki's hands are dirtier than Y/N's. Look Aniki, you have blood in your nails!”

“Blood?” Farlan grabbed Levi's hands and inspected them thoroughly, his eyes holding nothing but worry for his friend. “Levi - did you hurt yourself?”

“Tch, Farlan, of course I didn't. Do you really think that I'd hurt myself?”

“But then –“ Isabel nudged Farlan and he fell silent, and out of the corner of your eyes you could see her nod in your direction. There was a beat of silence as Farlan took a second to connect the dots, to unravel the meaning behind your blood on Levi’s fingers and the cuts on your face. “Levi, you didn't –“

“I didn't what?”

You glared at Farlan and he didn't meet your gaze. Isabel's face turned slowly red with anger as she glared at Levi, who was staring quite impassively at the wall next to your face.   
“Y/N,' she managed to say cheerily, gripping your arm in a way that promised violence if you didn't allow yourself to be tugged along, “come with me for a second.”

With Isabel tugging on your arm, you followed her without any resistance a short distance away, which was behind several trees so that Levi couldn't see or hear you if you kept very quiet. “Levi, stay here,” Farlan ordered, before following you and Isabel a few meters away.

“Don't tell me what to do. I'm hardly an animal.”

“Shut it,” Farlan snarled, and that was the first time you had ever heard Farlan angry. You heard Levi suck in a gasp, before Farlan stepped in front of you and breathed “did he hurt you?”

You shook your head. Isabel gripped your arm harder. “Y/N, what made your face like that?”

“I fell,” you said, a natural lie slipping from your tongue. Farlan looked worried, but Isabel merely loosed a laugh and slapped you lightly - very lightly - on your cheek.

“You are Y/N L/N. You never fall.”

“Maybe this one time I did.” You said, a defensive tone creeping up on you despite the fact that you felt flattered.

“Why are you lying, Y/N? Is it because he beat you and you don't want everyone to know of your defeat?” Farlan gently suggested, his smooth and casual use of your name going noticed but unmentioned by you.

You sighed, and the two leaned forward. “I was just getting information on his fighting style, that's all. If we were fighting, he wouldn't be walking.”

Isabel nodded, but Farlan still looked confused. “But if you were just getting information, why is your face bruised?”

“Farlan,' breathed Isabel, still looking at you, “Y/N always allows everyone who wants to fight her one chance. She doesn't fight back, but after the person has had their go, Y/N then knows everything about their fighting style, their movements and their next moves. I've never seen anyone like her. She can predict their next moves and prepare herself for them; she can target weak spots that even they never knew that they possessed.”

“So you have to be beaten up before you beat them? That can't be good for you, Y/N!” Farlan said, worry framing his face. For a split second, a flash of anger rose with dizzying speed – who was he to worry for you? But then you saw Isabel’s look of reproach, like she knew exactly what you were feeling and was telling you that you were stupid.

“I don't allow it to hurt. If I see the attack as a serious threat, then I'll stop it.” You swallow the irritation that you felt with such intensity just a few seconds before, replying with ease.

“That isn't the point –“

“Wait,” Isabel interrupted Farlan, her green eyes widening. “Does that mean that you tested Aniki?” You smirked at her, letting her gasp in excitement. “Oh, that's awesome Y/N!   
Can you beat him?”

“I think so,” you whispered, very aware that the male was but a few meters away from where you were discussing him, “but he might be hiding something, like a skill or a strength.”

“Sounds like something Levi would do. He never opens up, not to anyone.” Farlan looked almost wistful, contemplative until Isabel looped her arm through his with an easy smile and even easier laugh. It was a laugh that couldn’t fail to charm anyone, and although you instinctively tried to repress the smile that tried to answer her giggle, you failed.

“He won't talk to anyone who isn't dear. He tells you everything, Farlan - you're his closest friend. Don't put yourself down.” Isabel tells him, winking at his amused face.

“Isabel's right,” you agree, “I thought he was an emotionless boy at first, and I'm normally spot on with first impressions. But when he's with you, he allows himself to feel, even if it's only a little bit.”

Farlan smiles at you and pats Isabel's head, and strolls back to where Levi is. But you still saw the wide smile that was still on his face. You wondered if you ever looked like that when you had to go and meet with Isabel. Shaking that thought off, you stretch and walk back to where Levi stood, annoyed and glowering at you. “Have you brats finished with your secret meeting now?”

“It was hardly secret if you knew about it,” Isabel told him as she approached the wall at a run.

“Wait, Isabel,” you said, but she flung herself up a tree and climbed up it at such a speed that you knew you wouldn't be able to match. “What are you doing?”

“Come on, Y/N. You are not going to want to miss this.” Farlan said, joining Isabel in climbing up the tallest tree. “See if you can keep up!”

“Come on, brat,” Levi said, grabbing your hand and dragging you to the tree. You tried to ignore the touch - you did - but his hand was so gentle and warm. You didn't like it... Touch from anyone except Isabel was foreign. To play off your discomfort, you played along.

“Is this what you mean by ‘keeping your enemy close’? Because I do not appreciate being dragged everywhere,” you told him as you easily lifted yourself into the branches.

“I meant what I said, brat.” Levi said, with his voice disarmingly gentle from below you on the ground. “You should get used to it.”

“Alright, poodle.”

“Tch.”

You scramble up the branches, which was quite challenging as they were few and far between. You did not understand how Isabel could be that fast at flying up the branches - must have been all that practice. What especially puzzled you, however, was the fact that Isabel couldn't run a hundred meters without tripping over her own feet: how on earth   
was she coordinated enough to scale a tree of this size?

Wondering how far the tree climbed into the sky, you satisfied yourself with merely being faster than Levi - which was also quite tiring for you. The man seemed to move like water, dancing and twisting with gravity. Second thoughts, that was wrong to you. He wasn't water at all; he was pure fire. He was brilliant and bright, but snarled at anyone close enough and burned those who dared to get closer. There was a certain beauty that you hadn't noticed behind his steel grey eyes, but now that you knew that they could hold emotion, you felt better about him... And there was also the fact that you knew that you could beat him.

But could you? How could you truly know that without facing him? He could have been holding back, you thought, shaking your head as you neared the top of the tree. He could have been smarter than you. “Come on, Y/N!” Farlan yelled from the top.

“Farlan!” Isabel whined from where she was beside Farlan. “You’ve only known her for a day – how come you’re already so comfortable with her, huh?”

“Why does that even matter?”

“Do you know how long it took to get Y/N to be okay to be called that instead of miss L/N by me? All year! And she's still not happy about it now, are you?”

You shook your head again as you finally reached the branch that Farlan and Isabel were perched on, waiting for you. You were quite near to the top of the wall now; there were only twenty meters different rather than the fifty that it was from the ground. “I'll never be okay with you calling me anything,” you said, shooting her a wicked wink.

“Why are you so mean to me, your darling best friend?' Isabel wailed, kicking her legs in a mock tantrum.

“Just think about what I just said, Isabel.”

“Aww, Isabel, it's okay – if you want, I can call you miss Magnolia!” Farlan grinned, ruffling her hair.

“It's not the same thing,” whined Isabel, clutching at her heart. Nearly startling you in the process, she stood up and grabbed your hand. “Alright. We're going to scale the wall right here.”

“Scale it?” You asked, looking up the wall again. Suddenly, the twenty meters seemed... Rather huge compared to your height of Y/H meters. Only then did you notice the ivy climbing up it, creating a mock ladder for you to use. “Alright, Isabel. Are we waiting for Levi?”

Somewhere just below your feet, an annoyed grunt makes its way to your ears. “It is still Mr Ackerman to you. It shows politeness, not just respect.”

“Whatever,” you tease, turning back to where Farlan stood near the end of the branch. It was only a few feet apart from the wall, but you were still going to have to jump the gap, and if you fell then it would be a long and painful fall down. “Mr Farlan,” you say, giving him a slight push and a charming smile, “give me a demonstration.”

At your side, Isabel starts her muttering, and you randomly caught phrases such as “calls him mister, no problem...”, “there’s just no more respect left in the world,” and “I'll start calling her bad names if she doesn't watch out.”

“As it happens, Isabel, I have great respect for Mr Farlan!” You beam, watching carefully as said boy runs the length of the branch and starts to grip the ivy tightly, and then climbs up the wall with steady and sure moments.

“And why is that, brat?”

“Levi!” You said in mock surprise, already running after Farlan, “how nice of you to join us! I was just saying how much I respect Farlan...”

“I know that, brat. I want to know why.”

“Because he's put up with both you and Isabel over all of these years and still seems to be quite sane.” And with that, you scampered up the wall as fast as you dared. You heard the annoyed squeals and grunt of the two people that you left behind, but you knew that Isabel was already hard on your heels. Her breathing was so loud, for Titan's sake.

You finally reached the top, where Farlan was already offering a hand down to you. You ignored it, hauling yourself over the edge without assistance. A feeling of doom started creeping in your stomach - if you'd taken his hand, it would have been so easy for the boy to let go and let you fall to your death. It would have been way too easy to complete and way too easy to disguise it as an accident.

“So what are we doing up here, anyway?” You ask as he instead helps Isabel over the edge.

“We do this every Saturday,” he stated in a matter-of-fact tone. “We love to just sit here and look at the view. Isn't it beautiful?”

“View?” You echoed, and Isabel again grabbed your hand and leads you over the walkway on the top of the wall to the other edge. You knew that guards were often here, patrolling and keeping the enclosure safe, but there was no sign of anyone. If you turned towards the inside of the enclosure, you could see everything; the fields, the lake and the new horse trail that you were originally supposed to be following. You had to admit... It was lovely. You could see tiny figures that were students up and out on their Saturday, touring the miles of grounds that Survey Corps owned.

“Y/N, you're looking at the wrong view!” Isabel giggled, leading you over to the other side of the wall. She sat down and let her legs dangle over the side of the wall and just stared. After you joined her, you could see why.

The horizon was refreshing to see, the clear line between land and sky. It was a small detail about the world that you missed, but one that none took notice of. It soon became a common happening to look to the horizon and to see the wall instead. At the moment, the sky was dotted with clouds in the way that you knew there would be rain soon, but there were still small gaps of periwinkle blue that winked at you from afar. The area around Survey Corps was - to your surprise - dotted with villages and towns that lead to fields and farms. You had never heard about life directly outside of the wall; you had never bothered to think about that. Seeing your E/C eyes widen, Isabel smirks at you and makes the peace sign with two fingers. “Pretty cool huh?”

“You do this every Saturday?” You ask, thinking back to your normal Saturday routine. You just got up and did your homework, and then worked out to music. But Isabel, Levi and Farlan... They were doing this?

“Yup,” sighed Levi as he sat behind you with Farlan. “They drag me out here every Saturday.”

“Levi, I think I'm the one who struggles to get up... You're the one dragging me...”

“It's either me or Isabel. Who would you rather see at five in the morning?” Levi smirked at his friend.

“To be totally honest, I don't want to see anyone at that atrocious time in the morning –“ Farlan was cut off by Isabel punching him lightly in the shoulder. “I mean, I just adore seeing your faces, it is simply part of a glorious routine at such a refreshing hour...”

“Okay, Farlan,” you laughed, “that's going too far!”

You all chatted for an hour before you started to finally eat the apples that you had grabbed at breakfast. Isabel immediately began drooling, begging you for the other, so you sliced one in half with one of your daggers and toss it at her.

“Thank you!” She yelled happily as she nibbled at the fruit. You chucked the other half to Farlan, who was looking at it with puppy like eyes. You sliced the other in half as well and offered it to Levi.

“What did you do to it, brat?” Levi glared at the apple and began inspecting it from all angles, sniffing it tentatively and licking it quickly. You showed him your half and ate a bite, chewing it slowly and showing him that you hadn't poisoned it. “See, Levi? Perfectly safe.”

“Like hell it's safe. You could have poisoned specifically this half in order to get rid of me.”

You sighed theatrically, reaching over and plucking his apple out of his hands. Meeting his eyes, you took a small bite and gave the rest back to him, very obviously chewing and swallowing. He waited two minutes, watching you with close eyes as you chatted and laughed with Farlan and Isabel, before finally eating the fruit after deeming it safe. “And the poison will kill you in half an hour. Just a heads up,” you told him, watching him stiffen and turn to you in a murderous calm. “I'm joking! I swear!”

Levi glared, but still cooled his wrath down to a mere simmer. Wrapping all of the cores except yours in a small plastic bag and putting it carefully in his bag, he wiped his hands down with a cleanser before joining back in with the conversation. “Wait,” you said, a cruel smile working its way onto your face, “you're a clean freak, aren't you?”

Levi started, and then glared his famous glare at you. “And what of it?”

“Nothing!” You smiled, contemplating the apple core that you still had in your hand. Isabel, knowing what you were about to you, whispered hastily to you.

“No Y/N! Don't do it –“

You had already thrown the apple core to the ground far, far below you. You didn't bother to watch where it landed, mostly due to the fact that you were too busy watching Levi's face change from stricken, to angry, to pure murderous.

“Oh Y/N, it was nice knowing you for the short hours that I have. I had a great time!”

“WHYYYY WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU IDIOT?” Isabel yelled, diving in front of you to shield you from Levi. Nothing on the earth, however, could shield you from the look that he was giving you.

“You and I already had enough problems, brat. Now, however, we have a crime to punish you for... What do you think is appropriate?”

He stood up and started stalking towards you slowly, a mad glint entering his eyes. “Chopping those filthy hands off?”

“No, thank you. I need them to throw apple cores to the ground!”

“How about blinding you for all eternity?”

“I need my eyes to see where the bins are! I need to know where not to throw my rubbish!” Oh, you were pushing it. You were also stood up, and backing closer and closer to the wall edge as Levi closed in on you, getting further and further from Isabel and Farlan - who were currently advising you to run very, very fast.

“Come on, Y/N! He only has short legs, you can outrun him!”

“Or maybe you could trip him? I mean, he doesn't have that far to fall down, what with his height and all…”

Levi turned to them, and you could see the poison that dripped from his eyes as he snarled at them. “Shut up.”

You stood on the very edge of the wall - if you so much as wobbled, you'd fall... And you'd die.

You were still facing Levi, so you watched as his eyes focused on something behind you.

You watched as his face turned even murderous.

And you still watched as he dove towards you with his arms outstretched, as though he was going to push you off.

Right off the edge of wall.


	4. Chapter 4 - The Pawns

Time slowed down for you - you saw his arms reach for you and you tense yourself to duck, to twirl or to dodge. But his arms go around you in something like an embrace, and he tugs your body away from the edge. Time is still crawling past, and you can't move from where you are being pushed between his chest and his arms, which now enclose you. You feel trapped, unable to move from the position you were in. You felt trapped, and angry that he had surprised you enough so that you were still startled, too startled to move...

And maybe a little bit happy? Was that what the fluttering in your stomach was? Was that what the heat in your cheeks was? You brush away those thoughts, and finally time snaps back into its correct speed.

Levi pulls you away from the edge and twists his body in such a way that he falls down to the path on the top of the wall. He lands on his back, hugging you to his chest, protecting you from the impact. And yet, even though the fall must have jarred his spine a little but he doesn't make a single noise to suggest that he's in pain, or that it hurt. You look up to where his head is, and freeze as his eyes meet yours.

“Are you alright, Y/N?”

Your name. He had said your name. Not brat, not L/N, but Y/N.

“That's miss L/N to you,” you whisper, remembering his sassy line from before when you had called him Levi. ‘That's Ackerman sempai to you.’ He fought a smile and rolled over to the side so that you fall from his body and onto the ground. You lie there, dazed, and meet Isabel's wide green eyes in astonishment. She's also on the floor, you realize, next to Farlan - who was peering over the edge of the wall in an emotion only described using the word mortification. You glance to your side and see Levi in the same position, glaring at something over the wall. “What in Titan's name are you doing?”

He didn’t move, so you do instead, wriggling next to him and peering over the edge. At first, you spot nothing, but then you see several black figures approaching the wall far below. And by several, you meant that you could count at least fifty of the figures as they approach the wall directly below you. You understood why Levi had grabbed you now - where you had stood, perched on the edge, it would have been only too easy for the figures to look up and see you.

“Who are they?” Levi said softly, and Farlan answers immediately.

“I have no idea. They aren't exactly holding a neon sign saying 'Yeah, we're this company and we want you to try our free samples’, are they?”

“I know what they are,” you say, your voice blank and your eyes entirely focused on the figures. “Isabel? Do you remember our plans for this?”

“Y/N, are you kidding me? Of course I do – all of them. Which one do you mean?” Isabel asks, entirely focused on you. You nod and hold up three fingers on one hand, and she immediately starts running back to where the ivy ladder is. “I'll be there within fifteen minutes on Strawberry.”

“Make it ten,” you order, standing up and running along the wall. Levi and Farlan follow you, confusion dancing across their features as they begin sprinting. “I’d suggest not asking questions,” you managed to say, around your pants for breaths.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Farlan said, frowning at you. “Who are they?” He pretended not to see the look full of ire on your face, ducking his head and focusing on the light sprint you were all doing.

“Your question shouldn’t be ‘who’ are they – to ask what they are would be more accurate. Haven’t you ever seen titans before?” Your voice freezes and the boys glance at each other before turning their attention to you. “They have black cloaks and they had a wagon behind their main party - they use it to transport their food everywhere. I thought that was common knowledge.”

“Their... Food?” Farlan repeats.

You roll your eyes, keeping a very firm distance from yourself and the edge of the wall. “The dead that they've killed, or tortured, are in that wagon. You get the idea.” You sprint across the wall, thanking Isabel for choosing today to take you to the wall.

“So what are we doing?” Levi shot, barely winded from the high-pace running that your light jog had turned into.

“We’re going to stop the big, bad beasties.” You grin, knowing that you looked like a maniac. Levi grinned back.

***

{Months before}

You sat in the room on the posh chair in front of the mahogany desk, waiting for the headmaster. A fire roared a few meters to the left of you. The room was dark otherwise, with the heavy curtains drawn across the long windows and the wide double doors both firmly shut behind you.

The ceiling to floor bookcases loomed far above you, with many leather backs jumping at you. In the world that you were in, you’d never had much time or respect for books, but the sheer number of the things was enough to daunt you. You sighed and looked down at your skirt, where a paper note was still laying.

'Dear Y/N L/N.

Please come to the headmaster's office today at two o'clock for a private meeting regarding your future with Survey Corps. We hope you can attend; if you fail to do so, the consequences will be severe.

The Headmaster’

You glance at the clock - five past two. You had not been late, he was. And you already knew the reason why; the smell of alcohol suffocated the room, and the drinks cabinet that you knew was hidden behind the bookcase on the far right was an immediate giveaway.

“Y/N L/N, correct?”

“Yes, sir,” you respond, not jumping, not stiffening - you just carried on without showing him any move of fear.

“Do you know why you're here, Miss L/N?”

“I can probably take an accurate guess, sir, but I do not know for certain.”

The man laughed, and you faintly saw his name tag glimmer in the firelight. Dot Pixis, it seemed, was a very alcoholic headmaster. “You amuse me, Miss L/N. What would be your guess?”

“Well, the time of the meeting - two o'clock. Everyone else is in lessons, and all the teachers that aren't teaching at this very moment have all gone for their lunch break in the staff room, which is on the other side of the school. That was my first clue - you do not want this meeting overheard, Mr Pixis. You have also disabled the five different cameras that are hidden around the room, all of which I spotted immediately,” you said, loving the slight look of shock on your headmaster's face, “and so you what you really want is to make it seem as though this entire meeting does not exist, not even to your fellow staff. That means that you aren't giving me an official warning or expelling me, because you would need the video records of that to prove that you had done it. It's not Monday, so I am not being chosen to be the murderer for this Friday activity, and so that really only leaves one option.”

“And what is that?”

“You want to make an unofficial request about the titans. You have my specific file hidden between the two books behind you, meaning that you want someone with my skills at assassination, and not some other kid who only just learnt which end of the dagger to hold. And,” you continued, “that file means that you know my past, something only very few people know. And that means you want someone with my expertise on titans. If you put all of these factors together, the reason for this meeting becomes quite clear. You want to make an unofficial request regarding titans. Am I correct?”

Dot Pixis looks at you for a while, and then he smiles. “Amazing. Your file wasn't lying when it said that you were the best.”

“No. My file does not lie about most things, apparently.”

“So it seems. You are quite correct, Miss L/N. I want to tell you something.”

You inclined your head, narrowing your eyes at the man. His bald head was leaning back in his expensive chair, and his clothes were rough and dirty - if you looked carefully, you could spot spills and stains of past drinks that would never wash out. “If the titans ever attack - and they will,” he said, slowly, quietly, “I want you to judge the situation. You're the best, your file says. You agree with that statement, obviously. If you want to go far, you're going to need the first-hand experience. I want you to get out in the front lines, ignoring all other authorities if they claim that you're too young or too inexperienced. I want you to assess the situation and then direct the rest of the school into the formation that they need to be.”

You leaned back in your chair. “Why me? Why not some third year prodigy?”

“Because you're better. There are some second years who I considered, but they have jobs and obligations elsewhere.” Pixis’s eyes sparkled, and you knew instantly that there was an inside joke somewhere there. “But, as good as they’d be- they don't have your past.”

“Lucky them,” you had smirked. “Not many people would want to have my past.”

“No,” he agreed, “they would not.”

“Why would you trust me with the fate of the school? Why would you trust me and not the authorities? Why trust me to kill the titans?”

“Because the students are more loyal to you than they are to the teachers. I've taught them never to get close to teachers by having them murder one every Friday night. They have more loyalty to you than they have to the teachers, or the military authority. If the titans attack, they'll follow you. And, as to why I trust you to kill the titans...”

He faded off, looking you straight in the eyes. You didn't flinch, didn't look away. You met his stare right on.

“There is no one in this school, I think, who hates those titans more than you. There is no one who has the right to destroy them as much as you.”

You nod as he continues. “You will prepare strategies and formations on your own. Do not fail.”

You stood up, brushing off your skirt and walked slowly to the bookcase that you knew concealed the booze. The headmaster merely watched you as you swung it open, and grabbed one of the many bottles off the shelves that the bookcase had concealed. “What are you doing?”

You set the bottle on the desk next to him as you walk towards the door. “That's the one that has been poisoned. Its scent is dominating the room's air, and that's why you've been having headaches for so long. I'd kill the person who gave it to you, if I were you.”

“How did you know that I've been having headaches?”

You look over to where several shelves were, and point towards the medicines. “All of those medicines have one thing in common. They all treat headaches.”  
And with that, you walked out of the room into fresh air, smiling at the man behind the desk because his expression was priceless.

***

In the end, you had done one thing wrong since that day. You had tried to prepare strategies in your room once all of the lights went out, but all of them were too difficult... Difficult in that they often required you to be in two places at once. So to keep it brief, you had disobeyed Pixis and had recruited Isabel to be your second. She knew all of your strategies off by heart - codes, which were graded by the number. There was one, two and three, as well as ten. You felt better knowing that Isabel was helping you.

You ran along the wall, the sun beating down from high in the sky - it must be midday. This plan required you to get to the gates, the only place where the titans could get in without climbing the wall. You had already looked them over, and they had lacked the necessary equipment to do any such climbing.

So that meant their target was the gate.

It wasn’t as though the gate was unprepared – but the guards posted there were fools, and cowardly fools. They were only meant to live long enough to sound the alarm and alert the school.

So the gate was virtually unprotected and unprepared.

You could see the gate in question; it was now directly below you. There were steps leading from the top of the wall down to the bottom, so you raced down as fast as you could without falling. You skidded to a halt just outside of the gate, where you scanned the immediate defences such as the locks and cameras were still intact. Farlan and Levi panted behind you.

“W-what are we doing?” Farlan said, tugging the collar of his shirt away from his neck in an attempt to cool himself down. An idea struck you.

“Alright, Farlan, here's what you're going to do.” Farlan muttered something regarding the lack of proper answers you were giving him, but you hardly cared right now. “How's your aim with a bow and arrow?”

“Erm –“

“Oh, that's right,” you remembered, whirling around to the gate. “You're a swordsman, not a bowman.”

“W-wait! How would you know that?” Farlan said, looking at you as though he was seeing you for the first time.

“When you took my hands,” you hurriedly said, “I felt the blisters on your hands - in all the places that a sword would go.”

Farlan and Levi shared a glance, and you marched up to Levi. “Levi, you claim that you're amazing at everything.”

“Yes, what about it?”

“Great. We just have to wait for Isabel to get back. She should be back in two minutes at the most.”

“It's not great, brat, if Farlan and I have no clue what we're doing!”

“It's obvious, isn't it?” You said softly, looking them both in the eyes. “We're going to hold off the titans. There are only forty three, and most of them are females who can't fight. Levi, you and Isabel are going to team up and cover Farlan and me with bows and arrows, whilst we'll have swords. Farlan, you'll be on horseback and you'll circle around the entire party to herd them closer to me, and then we'll knock them all down. No killing - Levi, I want you aiming for the least vital parts. Like their arms, or feet. Farlan, knocking them on their heads should knock them out. If you have to kill, don't hesitate, but don't aim for that outcome. Is that understood?”

Both boys looked shocked, but Levi was the first to snap out of it. “Brat, are you allowed to do this?”

You reach into your pocket and drew out a badge that you carried everywhere. “Hell, of course I am. This is Dot Pixis's seal badge.”

“Then it's understood.” Levi said, turning to where Isabel was flying towards you on her horse. She leaped down with her arms full of weapons. You tossed Farlan a long sword, and swiped the air in front of you with the katana.

“Thanks, Isabel,” you said. “Levi's in your team. Climb back up the wall now, and complete code three. When I make the sign, join Farlan and I with swords. Also alert the officials, while you’re at it.”

“Okay, Y/N,” she panted, watching Levi climb back up the stairs with a full quiver of arrows and a bow clutched in his hand. “Good luck, don't die!”

You laughed, and hugged her hard. “There’s no way that I'll die when I still have to kill you for getting me up early!”

“That's the spirit - wait, WHAT?”

You and Farlan neared the gates, Farlan perched on Strawberry's back and looking down at you. You smile through the gaps in the gate, watching as the black cloaked titans neared closer, and closer.

“Is that a little girl I see?” A voice said, and your blood chilled through the vicious sound of it.

“And a little boy, on that horse. But he has meat on him... Lovely meat....”

You held your sword and swung it up to point it at them. “Are you sure that you want to attack us?” You called with your voice strong and defiant. Farlan grinned from where he   
was, and you could feel his laughter even though you couldn't see it.

“Quite sure, little girl. We need more food, and your body looks delicious. Yes, very sure!” The rest of the black cloaked people laughed, and you smiled as you flicked a button on the wall to the left of you, which made the gates swing open.

“Fine. Just remember that you chose your fate when I offered a better choice - to leave us alone.”

“And why would we leave you alone, little girl?”

You felt your face grin, and knew that you looked quite mad. “Because this little girl is capable of murder.”

As soon as Farlan kicked Strawberry’s sides and the horse cantered past you, you lightly stepped away from the gates. You heard the slight click of the gates closing behind you and knew that it would be okay, now.

The titans who had spoken to you glanced wearily at each other before grinning at you. They were still grinning as you sliced their heads from their necks, the smiles forever frozen on the faces that rolled in the dirt. The titan gathering behind them took a breath in as there was a beat of silence.

You smiled and began your dance. The world seemed to pause as you ducked a sword that appeared there, a dagger swiping for your legs. Here, your mind seemed to be at peace.

That was very odd sounding, as you danced through the bodies everywhere with your daggers in your hands, an eternal dance of destruction. Silver flashed everywhere but you hardly cared as you ducked and dodged and twisted, hitting out with your hands and legs. Landing powerful kicks and blows was just a sequence, as ordinary to you as breathing. Thinking of breathing, your breaths came faster and deeper now, and you made yourself move slower so that you could prolong the whirlwind of hatred and power that you had become.

In between blows and the falls of the titans around you, you could hear hooves and arrows flying above your head, proof that although it felt like it, you weren't fighting alone. Yells and screams were echoing in your ears, but you blocked those useless sounds out and focused entirely on listening for the swish of a weapon, and the stomps of the footsteps. Not many of the titans had weapons – as you had noted before, they had mostly been females without such finery. It made it easier for you to make sure that your dagger handles found their way to the right places to their temples, to their weak points.

Black cloaks fluttered around you, and you froze when you realized that, somehow...

You had beaten them all.

All of the black cloaked people lay around you in heaps, not moving but still breathing. You panted from where you stood, and you slowly gathered your wits from where they had been discarded in your attacks.

You were still gripping your daggers by their blades, and they had sliced your palms from the intensity in which you had gripped them. Whilst one would call you stupid for   
fighting with just the handles, you hadn't wanted to kill anyone of them, and by merely knocking them on their skulls with just the right amount of pressure, you hadn't killed a single one of the disgusting creatures – you hoped. Dealing damage to the skull was always dangerous, and there was no attack that came without risk.

You slid your daggers back into your weapons belt, and you glanced up. Farlan still sat astride Strawberry, and it only took a few seconds for you to realize that he hadn't touched his swords - at all. They were still in the scabbards at his side.

“Y/N...” He said in amazement, looking at you with an emotion that you were surprised to see in his eyes - fear and envy. “How did you move like that?”

“Move like what?”

“Move like… That. It was - you were...”

“I know what I am,” you said, anger now creeping up on you. “But what are you, Farlan? You left me to do all of this alone? It wasn't hard for me, as you probably saw, but I could have gotten hurt.”

“I would have helped you!” Farlan shouted, slipping off Strawberry and walking up to you. You didn't move as he approached, within touching distance. “I would have,” he said again, gentleness now creeping up in his voice, “but they wouldn't let me.”

“They? Who are they?” You asked.

“They as in Levi. Every time I tried to get close to you, he'd fire an arrow at me.”

That sounded right - you remembered hearing arrows during the fight, but none of the bodies surrounding you had a single arrow wound. “Why the hell would he do that?”

“I don't know,” Farlan whispered, agitation clear on his features. “I'm sorry, Y/N.”

You turned to survey the wall again. You had travelled a few hundred meters from where you had started at the gate, and now stood on the grassy fields. If you squinted, you could see two people approaching you - and you had half a mind to kill one of them.

“Y/N!!” Isabel was yelling, waving her bow at you. She sprinted the remaining distance and hugged you furiously, giving you plenty of time to see that she still had a full quiver - she hadn't fired a single shot. You tapped her shoulder and she finally stepped back, beaming at you. “That was awesome, as always. You've been practicing, haven't you? You weren't that bad-ass last time you had a go at those creepy dummy things.”

“I'm always practicing, Isabel,” you sighed, “because then at least I can fight forty enemies at once without getting a single ounce of help.”

The sarcasm in your tone alerted Levi's attention, and he glared at you - as per usual. "You were doing just fine by yourself.”

“I know that!” You yelled, punching him on the arm. “But it would have been nice to know that you were helping so that I didn't get carried away!”

“Oh? And that,” he spat as he gestured to the circles of unconscious bodies surrounding you, “is not getting carried away?”

“No, it is not!” You yelled, and Isabel grabbed your hand before you could punch him again. “If I got carried away, I'd still be in my blood frenzy, and I'd start killing them without even realizing what I was doing!”

“Tch,” Levi scoffed, pinching the bridge of his nose in derisiveness. “That would never happen. Stop being dramatic.”

“That would never happen, would it?” You repeated, a deadly calm freezing your body.

“Y/N,” Isabel said, gripping your hand tighter.

“Then, Levi - if it would never happen, perhaps you'd like to –“

“Y/N!” Isabel shrieked, swinging your hand around and pulling you away from Levi. “That's enough.” She whimpered in your ear. “Telling him about... Your ability to lose control in a fight... It wouldn't be useful information for him to know. Calm down.”

You breathed deeply, and after a while you nodded to Isabel. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Standing up straighter, you turn back to where the boys were waiting in silence. “Alright, see what their wagon has.”

Farlan turned without hesitation towards the wagon, and Levi followed in a surly silence. They ripped the blanket off, and you only had to wait a few seconds to hear their yell.  
“They've got people on here!”

“I know that,” you said, although a shiver of disgust wrapped itself up your spine, “I told you that they had their food on that wagon. Throw the remains out; we'll bury them later.”

“No, they've got live people on here!”

That was enough to send you sprinting towards the wagon. It wasn't far, only a few meters away, but you still felt sick. Were they alright, or had the titans hurt them? Were they actually titans themselves in disguise? You had no idea.

But when you reached it and peered in, you could just make out three silhouettes around your height in the doorway. A frightened but loud voice rings out from the dark confines of the wagon. “S - stay back! I have a knife, and I'll u-use it if I h-have to!”

You sigh, even as amazement dispelled the disgust you had felt. “Please, kid, you're safe.”

“Liar!” The voice rings out again. “You're just another titan, trying to have some fun before you kill us and eat us!”

“Kid,” you say with enough ire to make Isabel flinch, and step back to show them the pile of titans on the ground. “I've just taken down the entire titan party that kidnapped you. If I were a titan, why would I do that?”

“Titans are stupid. What they do never makes any sense.”

You blinked and smiled. Maybe you liked this person. “That's true, I can't argue. Just keep holding that knife and come out. We're going to get you to a safer place.”

Slowly and carefully, a boy climbed out of the wagon. He was around Y/A years old, with brown hair and teal eyes that were darkened with anger and fright. The hand that was holding the knife, surprisingly, was steady and sure - he knew what he was doing, with his grip correct. He faced you from where you had backed away to allow him space, with Isabel, Farlan and Levi behind you. The boy that climbed out of the wagon after him, however, was most definitely not like the first; the knife that he gripped tightly was at an awkward angle, and he held it so that if he tripped, he'd impale himself. Fear danced in his ice blue eyes, but you knew immediately that he was smart. Unrivaled intelligence shone within the blue orbs, and you couldn't help but remember Erwin Smith. This kid was much like him... But with less eccentric eyebrows.

And then came out the girl. She was beautiful, even though dirt was on every part of her body. Her hair was a glossy black even through the layer of dirt, and it reached just past her shoulders. Her face was pointed and a creamy white; her eyes were often on the boy with the green eyes.

“Who are you?” The green eyed boy asked, the knife still pointed at you.

“My name is not important, kid.” You said, turning back towards the gate. Isabel was already perched on Strawberry and was slowly trotting back with Farlan and Levi at her side. “Follow us.”

“My name is Eren, not kid,” the boy - Eren - sneered, unwillingly following you with the girl hard on his heels. “And I want to know where we're going!”

You fixed a gaze that was as hard as diamonds. “And I want to know the ultimate secret to destroying titans. Do you ever stop asking questions?”

“No,” the girl said, her voice soft but with a twinge of amusement. “He never shuts up.”

“M-Mikasa!” Eren yelled, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. “You may be my sister, but that does not give you the right to say those things!”

Ah, you thought as you continued to walk to the gates. So Mikasa and Eren were related... Not that they looked anything alike. That left the blond boy, who was nervously trailing after you.

“I - I would also like to know where we are going...” The blond boy said softly as you passed through the gates. You flicked the button again, and the gates jammed closed, leaving the countless number of titans beyond.

Horse’s hooves alerted you to other people’s presence. The officials – actual trained guards, which were a rarity in your school – dismounted from their steeds as they took in the sight of forty unconscious titans beyond the gate. One of them gave you a nod and began talking to the others. You heard words like ‘wagon’ and ‘get them away’ before you dismissed them. You’d done your duty and now they’d do theirs.

You turned to where Isabel was now waiting with Farlan and Levi all on top of their horses, with Skira waiting behind them - Isabel must have cantered ahead to lead all of the horses to here. The bushed around the gates whispered, and you almost could have sworn that there was someone there - but then Eren claimed your attention again by tugging on your sleeve for an answer.

“'We're going to see someone who has the power to give you safety,” you said, exasperation creeping up onto your voice. “Is that enough information for you?”

“Not really,” the blond boy said, causing Eren to turn and grab his hand.

“Calm down, Armin. This place can't be worse than being in the wagon waiting for the titans to eat us alive.” At this, your eyes met Levi's, and your lips unwillingly curled into a smile. This place could be infinitely worse than that - this place teaches you to torture and to kill people. It teaches you to kill your soul, which can be way worse than death itself.  
Apparently, Levi thought this humorous as well, as his mouth quirked at the corners. You both looked away quickly, and you climbed onto Skira. “Well, the way that I see it, you can either go back out there,” you gestured out to the mass of titan bodies, 'or follow us in here and have a decent chance at living. But just know that they'll be waking up soon.”

Eren looked sure as he climbed up on Strawberry behind Isabel, and he glared at Armin until he climbed behind Farlan. Mikasa was already seated behind you on Skira, her arms gently circling your waist to secure herself.

Levi lead the party with his stallion, with Farlan close behind with Armin clutching him. You caught his 'help me' gaze before you grinned and saluted him as you followed with Isabel beside you.

“So, what are your names?” Eren asked, pretending to not see the dramatic eye roll that you and Isabel gave each other.

“I'm Isabel Magnolia!” Isabel said, making the peace sign with her fingers and winking at the boy. He beamed at her before looking at you eagerly.

“Y/N L/N,” you said, without any of the bravado that Isabel had shown. Mikasa laughed silently, and you could only tell because you could feel her body shaking behind yours. “And just a heads up, the person who we're going to see is Dot Pixis, and he's a raging alcoholic.”

“And he's said to be insane,” Isabel chipped in.

“Rumour has it that he's killed people after they hid his favourite brandy.” You chirped, enjoying the look of fear settling on Eren's face.

“His office is a maze of traps that are all designed to kill.”

“He's said to be one of the best assassins in the world.”

“I thought that he often kills people if they wake him from his afternoon nap.”

“And he's just about your only hope if you want to be safe here,” you finally said, grinning at nothing in particular.

“WHAT TYPE OF PLACE IS THIS?” Eren yelled, and Mikasa tightened her arms around you as Skira began galloping down the hill road, which lead straight to the manor. You passed   
several groups of students just lazing around in the sunshine, all of whom looked startled to see three newcomers gripping the waists of students.

“Did we not tell you?” Isabel said, twisting and looking at Eren as he furiously shook his head. “This is a top secret school, and we're the students.”

“What do they teach?” Mikasa finally said.

You and Isabel glanced at each other, a gesture going unmissed by the girl's sharp eyes. “This is Survey Corps,” you finally said as you dismounted from Skira at the front of the manor. “This is the assassination academy that teaches children to kill titans so that one day we can take the world back from them.”

And with that, Levi held the door open for all of you to enter, and you walked along the large corridor to the double doors at the very end, knocked twice, and waited.  
Your arm stung suddenly, and before you could identify what was happening, the blackness rushed in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, hope you enjoyed the chapter! Make sure that you leave a comment, I'd love to hear how to improve or what parts of this story you're enjoying!  
> Thank you for reading!  
> ~Ria


	5. Chapter 5 - The Smile

You woke up.

You were lying in a bed that wasn't yours; that much was obvious. The stiff linen sheets that were draped over you were heavy and smelt too clean, too sterilized. A headache began to throb behind your left temple, and your arm stung in a very specific place. You couldn't move... Even opening your eyes was too much at this stage. You could feel everything, however - including the way that the sheets were too solid, too different from your cotton blankets in your room. At that point, you knew where you were.

You had no clue why you were in the infirmary, but if you focused, you could hear Isabel's loud breathing next to you. Slowly, surely, you fought for the right to move your body and opened your eyes, a sudden light nearly blinding you. You allowed your eyes to adjust and inched your head to your left as slowly as you needed to. Sure enough, Isabel was in the hospital bed next to yours, and there was Farlan and finally Levi as well. All still appeared to be asleep.

You focused your gaze towards your arm, which still stung, like the sting of a bee or... A needle.

A small spot marked where a dart had hit you, and a steady purple had spread out around it in a neat circle - your skin always was easy to bruise. It was then that you realized what had happened when you had knocked on Dot Pixis's door - a dart had hit all of you from above, judging by the mark on your skin. Cursing yourself for not noticing the thrower, you sat up, damning the poison which immobilized you to hell. Your body reacted, but slowly, much slower than you were used to. Sitting up was a relief, but slow reactions were what you hated the most about being poisoned. You knew that the poison wouldn't kill you - if it would, then you'd already be buried by now. 

That thought sharply brought your focus to the matter of the time. Your eyes flew to the grandfather clock, which told you that it was six o'clock, and the lightness that was coming through the windows informed you that it was still the afternoon. You had been out for roughly three hours.

“Oh!” A startled voice shocked you, and you stared at the man who had just come out of his office. “I didn't realize that you'd be awake!” 

“But I am,” you said, hating the slow words.

“Yes,” he said, bustling towards your bed and checking your pulse and temperature. “It would seem that you are.”

“Who are you?” You asked, unwilling to have his hands anywhere near you. 

“I'm Doctor Yeager - Grisha Yeager,” he said, leaving you to look over his features. He seemed to be quite old, around forty maybe, with black hair that was streaked with grey. His eyes were pale and hidden behind glasses, but at the moment they had the faraway look that you knew meant that his thoughts were elsewhere. He seemed to have a kind face, you thought, but he had recently had cause to frown a lot. Had his family come across hard times? You didn't know. “I'm going to leave you in the hands of my trainee, if that's alright,” he said, and you knew that even if you didn't think that it was alright, it didn't seem likely that Grisha wouldn't care. “You! Get here!” He yelled back towards the office. “Don't worry about her,” Grisha whispered to you, “she may seem a little mad at first, but she's the best trainee that I've had out of all of the second years.”

Oh God.

No, you thought, please not her...

“Y/N!” Hanji yelled, her eyes glittering behind her glasses in a way that convinced you that 'a little mad' was an understatement. “I'm so glad to see you!”

“I'm not,” you grumbled as she replaced Grisha, who immediately waltzed his merry way out of the infirmary through the double doors at the other end. Hanji studiously ignored your comment and sat down on the edge of the bed, chattering about one thing or another. 

“Miss Hanji,” Grisha said, pausing at the door, “try not to scare her.”

“I'd never do that, Mr Yeager!”

“Hm,” he muttered, scanning your face briefly. “Well, don't scare my replacement either. You know that I'm retiring now.”

“Yes, Mr Yeager! I will remember your teachings forever!”

Grisha seemed a little creeped out at that input, but left anyway. You cursed as you realized that he was leaving you to deal with the crazy woman who was now chattering on about meaningless things.

“And then, would you believe, he tried to kick me out claiming that I was crazy, and then –“

Thankfully, the poison that still numbed your blood flow made it all too easy to blank her unending torrent words out so that you could focus. You noted all of your symptoms to the slight sheen of sweat on your upper lip to the sandpaper of your throat, allowing Hanji’s voice to fill the background. 

“Hanji,” you said, interrupting her after a couple of minutes, “I need lemon juice and a ferrous sulphate tablet, if there is one.”

“What? Why?”

“The poison that they used to knock us out was cassava, I think. It wasn’t meant to kill us – just to knock us out long enough to get us here - but if these side effects continue then I'm going to faint. I’d rather take the antidote and be sure.”

Hanji’s eyes glinted as she leant back in her chair. “Then why do you need lemon juice and the iron tablet?”

You groaned and gave her a look. Hanji knew why you wanted them – but you just sighed through your nose and obliged anyway. “They're an antidote to the cyanide within the cassava. But you already know that, don't you, being the apprentice nurse and all?”

Hanji grinned and reached into her apron - pulling out a small, obnoxiously yellow bottle and a ferrous sulphate tablet. “I knew that you'd ask for these,” she winked, dumping them onto the small table next to your hospital bed. “I'm not an apprentice nurse,” she continued, pulling a complicated-looking wire from her pocket and twisting it around, “it's just that all second years have to find and help a teacher of their choosing on their weekends, so that they can learn in a more intimate environment. I didn't care about any teachers, to be honest, but Mr Yeager was the closest thing to a biology teacher. I only like him because he lets me research into bodies and stuff like that –“

“Hanji, why is he retiring? Grisha, I mean.” You asked as you unscrewed the yellow bottle and drank the contents, the sour taste making you scrunch your face up as you forced yourself to swallow. “He didn't look old enough to retire.”

“Hm? Oh,” Hanji said, sadness crossing her features. “The titans made another attack on Shinganshina. They wiped out his family - or so he thinks. He's going now to check if anyone survived.”

You started. “The titans attacked a city?”

Hanji’s face slipped void of all emotion, and you felt vaguely worried as her cool voice broke the silence. “Shinganshina. It’s lost now.” You watched the woman’s face as any hint of insanity, of any thought, winked out. Zoe Hanji, you knew as you looked at her right then, was a dangerous woman. 

“We’ll get it back,” you murmured. 

Hanji came back to herself at that point, blinking once and grinning wildly. “Not when you’re in that state, you won’t,” she said, raising a mocking brow at your form. You rolled your eyes, and Hanji stuck out her tongue. “You feel better now, I assume?”

You nodded and stood up, your movements now fresh and quicker than before thanks to the lemon juice and the tablet. You flexed your muscles and walked over to where Isabel dozed in her bed, and patted her head. The girl groaned in her sleep, her arm twitching as though she would raise it to whack you. “Isabel is fine,” you said, though you were pretty sure that Hanji knew this already. “Her temperature is perfectly normal, and she's just sleeping it off now. It figures, with her being one of the laziest people in the entire school.”

You then walked over to Farlan. As you raised your hand to check his temperature, his eyes flew open and his arms jerked up to grab your wrists. “Y-Y/N!” He gasped, his body arching as he grimaced, sweat gliding down his face. 

“Farlan?” You shouted, unable to move because of his iron grip around your S/C wrists. “Let me go!”

“Y/N!” Farlan screamed then, his whole body shuddering with agony. He began sobbing, curling into a little ball around his blankets - which were drenched in sweat. “It hurts!”

“Hanji,” you yelled, desperation twisting your voice into a scream, “give me an antidote! He's allergic to the poison - I've seen this before!” 

You didn't turn to watch her run out of the room, but you heard faint footsteps running out of the room just above Farlan's screaming. You had a haunting suspicion that the woman had known that something like this would happen – but then Farlan squeezed your wrists and all such thoughts emptied out of your head. “It hurts - it h-hurts s-so much!” 

You barely heard Hanji’s far-off yell. “It's in the other office! I'll be right back, Y/N!”

“Hey,” you soothed Farlan, perching yourself precariously on the edge of his bed. His grip loosened on your wrists, and you then reached to caress his cheek, hoping that Hanji returned soon. “Farlan, I'm here... Don't worry.”

“A-aren't you going tell me not to s-scream?” He choked out in between yells of pain.

“No, you can scream all you want,” you whispered in his ear, “screaming is bad for your voice, but sometimes it is good for your heart.”

“FARLAN!” Another voice yelled. You had one millisecond to register whose it was before they dove at you.

Arms circled you, and you got a strange sense of deja vu before you collided into the floor with your back. You ignored the crippling pain in your back as your wrists were again seized and raised above your head, and your legs had a huge weight across your ankles, pinning them in place. The heaviest weight was on your hips, however, where your captor sat, leaning forward to grab your wrists and his legs crushing yours into place.

“Lev-“ You started to say, but his face was suddenly a few inches away from yours and you froze into place. His eyes, so cold and empty before, were now filled with a great fear - the fear of losing Farlan, you realized. That was why he had grabbed you. He had thought that you were torturing or killing Farlan, and that would have made perfect sense - he had screamed loud enough to wake Levi.

Nevertheless, regardless of the serious situation was, you felt the heat rush to your cheeks, and you knew that you had blushed. Hoping that Levi wouldn't notice, you wriggled slightly to try and get him off your hips, but he only glared at you more. You hated him being this close to you - you hated him being in control, where you couldn't move your legs or arms.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?” He screamed, his fingernails digging into your wrists. 

“N-nothing!” You gasped, flinching away from him. His face was just so close. You’d trained for this – you knew how to get out of a captor’s grasp, how to defend yourself – but it was as though your muscles had forgotten how to fight, how to twist and punch and hurt.

“DON'T EVEN GO DOWN THAT ROUTE!”

“W-what? I'm telling you that I did nothing!”

“LIAR!”

“Levi!” You squealed; you couldn't help it. You could feel your face burning in the position that you were in. “Please get off me!”

“Levi,” Farlan rasped from his bed. You looked over to him, and were immediately scared by the grey colour creeping into his face. Hanji had to hurry up, you prayed. “Levi,” he said again, and Levi sprung up from you and sprinted back to his bedside. 

“Farlan - what can I do?” Levi whispered, and your heart broke at the anguish behind his voice. You stood up and made to come closer, but Levi only looked at you with fury that promised to end in bloodshed if you took one more step. “What did she do to you?”

“Nothing – she hasn’t done anything yet!” Hanji yelled as she sprinted back into the room with a bottle with pale yellow liquid clutched firmly in her hand. She threw it across the room, and then gasped as she realized what a stupid move that was. You, on the other hand, had no time to gasp as you raced towards it and caught it within the second, thanking your assassination training. You skidded to a halt beside Farlan, and looked him directly in the eyes as you gently opened his mouth and tipped the contents of the bottle down his throat. 

Levi Ackerman looked like he would kill every last one of you. “WHAT –“

“Shut up, shortie,” Hanji said as she pushed him away from Farlan's bed. “Y/N just saved Farlan's life. You should be thanking her, not trying to take advantage of her.”

“What - I wasn't about to –“ Levi stuttered as he looked at you.

“No lying, shortie,” Hanji said as she raised an eyebrow at him, “I saw you on the camera in the office, and you were on top of poor Y/N.”

“Shut up, everyone,” you ordered as you checked Farlan's temperature, his colour, his eyes. He only looked at you, with something akin to fondness in his pale eyes. A few minutes passed after Levi and Hanji had stepped outside to take their yelling match somewhere else - not that you couldn't still hear them.

“WHY WOULD I TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A BRAT LIKE HER?”

“I KNOW THAT YOU FIND HER ATTRACTIVE!”

“THAT'S NOT - THAT IS A LIE!”

“OH IS IT NOW?”

“WHY WOULD I DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT WHEN I THOUGHT FARLAN WAS DYING?”

You blanked them out after that, looking Farlan over. Your hands expertly found his pulse on his wrist, and you leaned over his chest to find his heartbeat. “Y/N,” he said, his voice struggling to say even that.

“Hm?” You replied, stroking his hair back out of habit. 

“Thank you,” he said, as he fell back asleep.

You stood up, shaking away your fatigue and pulled his covers up and over his body. He'd be alright now that the antidote had worked. So he was allergic to cassava, you mused. It wasn't a common allergy... Maybe it was just one of the substances in it...

A yawn from the bed next to Farlan drew your attention to the red haired girl who was stretching her arms, looking around with lazy green eyes.

“Y/N,” she said seriously, “I think someone shot us with darts.”

“You think?” You said, sarcasm hidden in your affectionate tone. Only Isabel would be able to sleep through the havoc that took place.

“Yes, I do.” Isabel said with such conviction that you had to laugh. “So where are the three that we came with? Eren and the others?”

You froze, looking around the infirmary for them - but they were nowhere to be seen. “Oh, no...” You groaned. 

***

The moment that your alarm sounded, you were fully alert. 

You threw back your covers and shut the thing off, sighing at the unusually bright morning. It was Monday again... Why was it that Friday was so close to Monday, but Monday was so far from Friday? It didn't make sense to you as you got changed into Survey Corps official uniform.

Boys wore white trousers with a brown belt, with a white-coloured button up shirt and a brown jacket – which had the Survey Corps insignia of two wings embroidered on the back. Girls had the same, but with a white skirt instead of trousers. Coloured ties were used to symbolize which year everyone was in - so first years had red, whilst second years had blue and the third years had yellow. Then they all have brown boots that reached up to just below the knee. 

Naturally, you had white stockings that came up to just above your knee, and you added your daggers to the brown belt. You pulled your H/C hair into a ponytail (if you wear a hijab then you adjusted it to a perfect style) and walked out of your room, locking your door with the recently repaired key. Isabel was waiting for you outside of your room, and you both walked down to the dining room together.

Neither of you said anything; as you joined Annie and Sasha at one of the round tables, eating breakfast, they immediately took note of your frustrated atmosphere. “So I gather that you guys didn't find who you were looking for?” Sasha said, helping herself to pancakes. Since you and Isabel had woken up on Saturday, you had both spent most of your Sunday searching all of the grounds for the three whom you had rescued, asking teachers and students - but to no avail. You had noticed all of the titans that you had knocked out being pulled into carts bearing the Survey Corps sign though, which boosted your downtrodden spirits a little.

“Nope,” Isabel finally replied, sighing and tucking into some porridge, “it seems as though they've totally disappeared.”

“I hope that they didn't die,” Annie mused, “there's already too much killing going on.” 

You felt slightly sick as you caught onto her meaning – about Shinganshina and about the forty titans that had been outside the gate. You raised an eyebrow at her comment anyway, but she studiously ignored you as she continued to drink her water. Annie rarely ate anything in front of others, which had been one of the reasons that Sasha had thought her vain enough to be called Lust. “I suppose it would have been a waste of my time if they had died.” You agreed.

“Oh, that's right,” Annie groaned, “you beat about fifty of the titans up on Saturday to rescue them, didn't you?”

“Forty three, actually,” you corrected, reaching for a glass of juice and slumping into the back of the chair. The rest of the girls had started getting up – you could hear the thumping of their feet on the floor above you, all starting to get ready for the following week of school.

“Wait, Annie,” Isabel interrupted, “how did you know about that? We didn't tell you - I'm sure that Y/N would have boasted about it in the future, but neither of us has said a word   
about the titans that she beat.”

“I was outside on Saturday, too,” Annie replied with boredom ringing on every syllable. “I saw the aftermath, with all the titans everywhere. What I was wondering was how they nearly got in, or how you got out.”

“Funny you should say that, actually,” you said, an alarm going off in your head. “So was I.”

“Y/N - what are you saying? You opened the gate with the switch, remember?”

“No, Isabel - do you really think that Survey Corps would let the only entry way be opened by a simple switch? Of course not. There should have been another back up system - a code or something that was revealed by the switch that I pushed. But there wasn't - and I was too hyped up by the thought of a fight that I didn't notice!” You said, gaining the revelation only after you told it. Oh, you were stupid...

“So that means that someone else was planning to open the gate anyway. Someone wanted the titans to be let in, and if you hadn't been there, they would have...” Annie said, accurately guessing the situation. You glared at her before getting up and walking out of the Dorm and into the fresh air of the morning. Annie was right - how could you have missed it? You followed the girls down the path towards the manor, meeting up with the boys along the way where you all effectively started bickering about everything. 

“Potato chips would totally kick pineapple's butt in a fight!” 

“Sasha, think about it - pineapple has such a hard shell –“

“And it would crush all of the potato chips!”

“Y/N and Connie, why aren't you on my side? Potato chips forever!”

“Sasha, you need to see sense.”

“Annie, you are the one who needs to see sense! POTATO CHIPS WOULD WIN! Reiner, Bertoldt, back me up!'

And so it continued as you walked in through the double doors of the manor. The interior was huge, and you could have sworn that every surface sparkled. The twin winding staircases lead up through all five floors – the ground floor was for utility rooms such as library and gyms, the first floor for first years classes, second is for the second years, third is for the third years and the mystery fifth floor - and expensive vases and pieces of artwork were perched on every surface. The cream colour of the walls was made warm and welcoming by the gold and red carpets, and the rich brown of the mahogany wood used for the furnishings really made you feel like you couldn't afford even a petal on the roses. 

You all climbed the stairs together towards the first floor, the thick carpet muffling any footsteps so all that you could hear was the voices of your team. As you reached your floor, you waved good bye to Annie, Bertoldt and Reiner as they were in different classes from you and you joined the queue to get into your classroom - E1. The first letter of the classroom told you what subject you were about to enter and the number was just the number of the classroom. 

The door opened and so you all fell into your seats, and you remembered why you loved your seat so much as you looked out through the window that was next to you and onto the extensive grounds. You mindlessly bowed to the teacher as they started taking register, and it was only when Isabel (who sat behind you) poked you in the shoulder that you jumped awake. “Y/N - look!” She said as she inclined her head to the people on the other side of the classroom. You looked quickly, not expecting much, but then you felt a wave of relief at the sight that awaited you.

Eren, Mikasa and Armin were in full Survey Corps uniform, seated behind one another with Mikasa in the front and Eren at the back. You could fully appreciate Mikasa's beauty now that she was clean... And you weren't the only one to notice.

“Jean,” you whispered, seeing as the boy was seated next to you, “if you keep looking at her like that, your eyes will pop out of your head.” The boy didn't even seem to notice you as he stared open mouthed at the new raven-haired girl, who was already getting on with her work with apparent ease. You tried again. “Jean! If you keep staring, I will personally pop your eyeballs from your skull!”

That got his attention. “Y/N, that is disgusting! Why would you even say that?” You shrugged and scribbled down some translations for the English words that were on the board. (In this story, you're Japanese along with everyone else, but you're fluent in English) You and Jean had a complex rival relationship, and it had started when you had addressed him without any politeness whatsoever. He took personal offence and had promptly started addressing you without 'miss', but when you told him that you could not care less, it seemed to strike a chord. 

“Seriously, why have you got to be so good at English,” he groaned as he copied your definitions. 

“I don't know... Natural talent?” You said, smiling imply. 

“Liar. The only thing natural about you is your ability to wind people up.”

“That is a lie - I also wind horses up,” you added, nodding at him, “we can't forget about you, now can we?”

Marco, who sat in front of Jean, and Isabel immediately starts to snigger as Jean delicately flushes, “I hate you,” he groans. He finishes his definitions and stands up to hand it to the teacher to get it checked. “But I love your brain for helping me with the definitions!”

“Y/N, why did you let him copy your work?” Isabel whispered as he walks up to the teacher. You picked up a rubber from your pencil case and rub out all of the definitions that you had written down, and start writing in a different set of answers.

“Just wait a second,” you told her. With baited breaths, you both watch as the teacher's face turns slowly red with anger, and Jean's face steadily looking more terrified. 

“Mr Kirstein, step outside with me for a brief moment,” the teacher said, and you stifle your giggles as they both go outside, Jean staring daggers at you. Marco turns to you with worry in his face.

“Y/N, you didn't do anything too bad, did you?”

“Depends what you mean by 'too bad', Marco.”

You all shut up to hear what was being said behind the door - which surprisingly wasn't hard.

“WHERE DID YOU LEARN SUCH FOUL ENGLISH LANGUAGE?”

“But sir –“

“I DON'T WANT TO HEAR EXCUSES - TELL ME WHERE YOU GOT THEM FROM!”

“Y/N! It was her fault –“

“HOW IS IT MISS L/N’S FAULT? WERE YOU COPYING?”

“N-no, I was just asking her for help, and –“

The teacher opened the door, and looked at you - luckily for you, just a second beforehand you had just arranged yourself in the picture of perfection - pen in hand, leaning over your work, studiously ignoring everything going on. “Miss L/N, could you please come here and bring your work?” The teacher said, and Jean stuck his tongue out at you as he enjoyed the prospect of you being in trouble.

“Certainly,” you answered, gliding over to them and handing over your work which now had the perfect definitions written on without a trace of the rude words that Jean had copied. “Is there a problem with my work?”

“No, not at all,” the teacher said as he glanced over your words, “this is perfect. Mr Kirstein, get yourself back in this room at break, do you hear me? You have detention, and don't you dare try and drag miss L/N with you.”

***

At break, you and Isabel emerged from maths silently fuming at the amount of homework that you had both received. “And who cares what 'x' was?” Isabel groaned, massaging her temples.

“It can go find itself out if it cares,” you agreed, “and stop making us do all the work.”

“Too true,” Marco said, sliding into the bench beside you. You had walked around the grounds a little and had finally settled on going near the river, which lead into a lake. There were several benches surrounding this serene little area, and you had chosen the one with an oak tree right beside it, a bench that had the most sunlight on it - not that there was much. Still, you enjoyed the light breeze that lifted the air as Isabel sat down on the grass in front of you, with Marco at your side. “Sorry to interrupt, but Jean is still in detention...” he meaningfully lifted his eyebrows at you with a grin, and you all laughed again as you remembered Jean's face.

“Sorry about that, Marco,” you giggled. “I wouldn't have done it if I had known that you'd be lonely during break.”

“I wouldn't say that I'm lonely,” Marco replied, sighing and closing his eyes as a fresh wave of air rushed over you. “I actually enjoy your company.”

“Woaaw,” Isabel gasped, edging away from him as though he had a disease, “what's wrong with you? Aren't you scared of Y/N like everyone else?”

“Heey,” you pouted, and Marco lightly punched you on the arm as Isabel shrugged at you. “I can't be that bad - oh wait, I can.” It was true enough – you were the undisputed best of the first years, and everyone knew it – and knew that you were dangerous. It had never bothered you before, though.

“I don't believe that for a second!” A new voice entered the conversation as Eren dumps himself onto the bench on your other side, with Mikasa standing behind you and Armin seating himself next to Isabel on the grass. “Bet you were real worried about us, huh Y/N?”

“I was more worried about the rest of the school, actually. I'd thought that they thought that you thought that they were crazy... And they have very delicate egos.” You said, making yourself a little smaller in your seat. With Eren so close to your side, you felt like giving yourself a bit more space, but with Marco on your other side that made that move impossible. It wasn't as though you didn't like them - you did - but you felt much more comfortable in a situation where you could move. 

“Eren does too,” Mikasa reminds you from where she stands behind you. You grin at her as Eren scowls.

“I almost forgot, would you believe.”

“Well you should forget it, because it's not true!”

“Anyway, miss L/N, you all fainted at the same time once you had knocked on the door.” Mikasa said quietly, leaning forward so that her head was to your right, in between Eren and you. “And then the alcoholic person that you told us about was there. We had to tell him what had happened, and give our names... We tried to give him fake ones, but he knew that we were lying immediately - I was impressed. And then he told us that he could throw us out, give us to the titans or enroll us at this school. Eren chose to stay immediately, claiming that he wants to kill all titans, and told us to flee to the next town.”

“But you said no and joined him anyway,” you finished, earning a smile from the girl. Her fingers accidentally brushed your head and you tensed immediately. (if you wear a hijab, then she is just playing around and styling it.)

'Sorry - but your hair is just so soft!' Her fingers brushed through your hair slowly and soothingly. You didn't want to lower your guard, but you promptly melted as Mikasa played with your hair. Isabel quickly introduced the three newcomers to a very perplexed Marco, who soon grew comfortable. Soon, Eren stood up and demanded to have a try at your hair as well, so Mikasa split your hair down the middle. Eren was rough at first, yanking his fingers through knots until Mikasa guided him into playing through your H/C strands more gently. Marco chatted happily with Isabel and Armin as they inched nearer to the lake, and found a strange plant. Soon, the intelligent blond and the wild red head began arguing which plant it was, and Marco found himself in the middle of a knowledge war over a plant - which you knew was a Dutch Rush, confirming Armin to be right in his analysis... But you weren't about to tell Isabel that. 

“Y/N!!!!!!!!!” A voice yelled as Jean skidded to a halt beside your bench. Narrowing your eyes open slightly, you smiled daintily at him.

“And how was detention?”

“AWFUL, MISS 'I'M SO PERFECT SO THE TEACHERS DON'T SUSPECT A THING!”

“Can you shut up?” Eren interjected, pausing his movements at your head. “I'm trying to concentrate!”

“HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT UP! NO ONE ASKED YOUR OPINION!”

You saw Marco freeze just as soon as you did – wondering how the brown-haired boy would take Jean’s insulting tone. Apparently, neither of you should have worried, since Eren merely smirked and yelled back with equal vigour: “SHUT UP, HORSEFACE!”

“W-wait, what?” Jean froze, his eyes locked on the brown haired boy behind you. Marco and you locked eyes, and it was at that point you had to choke back your laughter.

“You heard me,” Eren said defiantly, “or can't horses hear nowadays?” 

“Jean,” Marco hurriedly interjected, and Jean paused in his angst. “Why don't you just sit down?”

Jean looked at the empty seat near you with disgust - but it didn't bother you. You'd have looked at him in the same way if he had sat next to you. Snorting, he sat down on the grass in front of Marco, and the two automatically claimed each other's attention. Peace resided as you gazed around - what had started with just you and Isabel strolling around the grounds had now amassed quite a few people. Isabel and Armin were still arguing, but Sasha and Connie had joined them as they all sat in a circle surrounding a poor plant, discussing what it was in heated voices. Annie, Bertoldt and Reiner were all in the branches of the oak tree behind you in utter silence, either choosing to ignore you all or just to absorb the peace that you knew you all felt. Eren and Mikasa were murmuring to each other as they worked on your hair, and Krista and Ymir had collected flowers for them to weave into the plaits that they were attempting to make. (If you have short hair, they were making iddy biddy plaits, and if you wear a hijab then they were making daisy chains to decorate it with.) Jean and Marco were laughing at you all, and just near the water's edge were the people you did not expect to see at this point.

Erwin and Hanji were knee deep in the water, with Erwin's trousers rolled up and Hanji obviously not caring if her trousers got wet – you had never seen her wear the skirt before anyway. Erwin resignedly held a bucket that Hanji was tossing random things in, looking as bored as anything but still with a smile on his face. Hanji looked... Well, like Hanji always does, with a mad smile and muttering about 'records of science.'

And then there was him.

He just lay on the grass next to the water, with his raven hair dancing to the music of the breeze and his eyes closed. You watched him as he breathed, his chest rising up and down in a steady beat. He seemed to be just listening - to everything. As your breath caught, he opened his eyes and quickly found yours - and smiled.

It was at that moment that you were simultaneously terrified and elated. 

Because he hadn't gone back on his word - he was keeping you close. You didn't like it, because from what Isabel had told you about him, he didn't make any effort with anyone. But he was making an effort with you - why? But what was worse than the confusion was that smile...

 

That smile was real.


	6. Chapter 6 - The Race

“GET AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I HURT YOU!”

“NEVER!!”

“BACK OFF! I'M WINNING THIS THING!”

The yells were a normal thing last lesson on a Monday; it was the afternoon that everyone was required to actually do exercise. This was where students just had to keep their bodies physically fit, through swimming or jogging, or running... You hated it. Today, however, was focusing on sprints. Normally you wouldn't be too bothered, but today there was something off about this class. You were all outside in your outdoor kits, with white shorts and a light brown t-shirt, which has the Survey Corps emblem on the back, and you had hastily tied/brushed your hair back/secured your hijab before setting off, a choice that you were thanking your past self for.

It was one of those blisteringly hot spring days with no wind at all - highly unusual and unpleasant for this particular activity. Still, as you ran up the many hills, you still felt alive and excited due to the fact that you were beating nearly everyone in your class. Annie, naturally, was sprinting next to you with a look of thunder on her face as she saw that you weren't trying at all. Jean, too, was making the race harder for himself as he continuously screamed threats at you, to which Eren was responding quite enthusiastically. Mikasa merely kept pace with Eren, but you knew that she wasn't even trying at all - which was scary, because she was nearly matching your speed. Isabel easily kept pace with you, humming meaningless songs as you and her soared along the track. You occasionally had to reach out and grab her from trying to run over tree roots and small stones, but other than that Isabel was your perfect companion.

But if you ever really wanted a match, then Annie was the one you'd pick. She was amazing at martial arts and general fitness, and her muscles were tight and strong. If you so much as slipped up an inch in your practices, Annie was there breathing down your neck. You supposed that you should be pleased that you were strong enough to be considered her rival, but you generally couldn't be bothered. All things considered, Annie was a friend. She was on your team, after all - although that was a different story. When Isabel demanded that you and her formed a team on the first week of the first year, Annie had demanded that any team that you were on, she had to be on too. And with that, she had dragged Reiner and Bertoldt along, and as Isabel felt sorry for Sasha and Connie you decided to include them as well. 

But today was just too hot to show off how fast you were compared to Annie... And there was something else that was bugging you...

“Tch! Pick your feet up, brats.”

Oh yes... You almost forgot. All second years had to choose a teacher to help in their spare time, like an extra lesson... So where Hanji had chosen Grisha Yeager, it was just your luck that Levi had chosen your gym teacher and your timetable. Now, while your teacher - Shadis - was waiting back at the school, Levi was watching over you all to see that none of you stopped on your run. You chanced a glance behind.

He wasn't sweating at all, you noted with slight displeasure, and he seemed to be enjoying himself as he yelled at the slower people of the group. Armin and Krista were two such people, and although Armin didn't take much notice of the threats that the second year spewed at him, Krista did. You watched as her esteem was lowered until her eyes were filling with tears. Dropping back - much to Jean's delight - you jogged alongside her, smiling widely.

“Don't worry about him, Krista,” you told her, glaring at Levi to stay away from this girl. “He's just really annoyed that he has to spend his time with brats like us!”

“Too damn right,” Levi spat, running with ease beside you. “You're all pathetic.”

“Krista has many fine qualities. I wouldn't say that if I were you.” You said, and you could sense Ymir's approval from where she was glaring at Levi a few meters away. That was a strange sensation in itself, but then Levi's lips quirked up into a near smile and you could have sworn that your heart skipped a beat.

“Oh yeah? Would you like to prove that?” Levi slyly said.

“I'll prove that not all of us are pathetic,” you decided, stopping your running. You were around a mile away from reaching the school again, and your classmates were all still running up ahead between you and the school. If you squinted, you could see Isabel, Jean and Annie running in the lead, with Eren and Mikasa close behind them. “Krista, if you could please tell us when to go? Levi, we'll have a race back to school.”

Levi's eyes sparked as he moved himself to stand next to you. “No cheating.”

“We're assassins,” you said, “so I can't promise that.”

“That's fair. What are the terms?”

“When I win,” you decided, “I want you to apologize to Krista for calling her pathetic, and I want you to leave me alone for at least twenty four hours.”

“And when I win,” Levi smirked, “you'll do whatever I want for twenty four hours. No exceptions and no whining.”

You stuck out your hand and shook his, your hand easily being dwarfed by the smooth and cool hand of the boy in front of you, and then crouched down at the starting point. You started stretching your legs, a welcome pain beginning in your hamstrings, and smiled the famous snake's smile at Levi, who glared just as poisonously back at you. Nodding at Krista to start counting down from three, you took in a breath. You weren't going to lose. There was not a single chance in hell that you were going to lose. “Three...”

Levi was breathing lightly beside you, and you could just sense his concentration. “Two...”

“One.”

“GO!”

You took flight, sprinting down the path and towards the school. You weren't winded at all from the run before, and so your legs gladly welcomed the stretch of you actually trying. You flew by your classmates, the long grass creating an uneven but springy surface for you to run on. Putting your entire focus on where the path led, you were barely aware of where Levi was - it didn't seem to be anywhere near you. 

As you passed Marco, he cheered for you as Armin gasped in terrified awe at the speeding whirl that you had morphed into. You didn't focus on that, though. You were focusing on your legs working, your feet snapping back to the ground to lift you further. Suddenly, Eren and Mikasa were very close. “GET OUT OF MY WAY!” You yelled, and as you passed them they stopped in surprise. “THANK YOU!” You added, before they thought you were totally rude. You breezed by Annie, Isabel and Jean next, all of whom yelled at you one after the other.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING, Y/N?”

“I'M HAVING A RACE, JEAN! WHAT ELSE?”

“With who, Y/N?”

“YOUR SHORTASS ANIKI. NOW BYE!”

“You're not going to win, Y/N.”

“NOT IF YOU KEEP TALKING TO ME, ANNIE.”

And then you left them in the dust. But as you neared the halfway mark, you were seriously worried about where Levi was, because he certainly wasn't anywhere near you. Your head whipped around for a split second, but then you slowed down in shock of what you were seeing.

There was Levi alright, but you were startled to see him at the place where you had started - he had barely moved at all. But he looked a lot taller... What?

And then you realized that where you had started was right next to the stables. Levi, whilst you had been sprinting as fast as you had wished, had been getting himself a horse... And that was allowed, you remembered with a sinking feeling, because you hadn't specified what type of race it was. Stupid... Finding loopholes in the rules were a natural part in assassination, and Levi had found the perfect one to enable himself to win whilst you had blindly ignored the fact that whilst you were the best of the first years, he was the best of the second years. And he wanted to win.

And he was catching up. All too fast, he was passing Annie on the cantering horse, and you heard faint laughter from where he was around four hundred meters away. You hadn't stopped running; you looked around for a way for you to win... Look, Y/N, look! You thought to yourself with desperation, glancing to your left, to your right...

***

Then you found it. As Levi nearly passed you, you suddenly lurched off of the path that you were following and disappeared into the trees, running through the thicket that the old trees provided. You knew the path that Levi was following - that he had to follow now, because horses couldn't travel through the narrow spaces between trees that you were flying through. The path went round in a large circle, before turning back to the school. You were taking a shortcut through the trees to get to the school before Levi... You had to get there before Levi.

Flying past birds and wildlife wasn't bad, and you entertained yourself at looking at the passing flowers and hedges as you grew steadily more bored with running.

But you weren't far now. The trees were thinning, and you could see the building around five hundred meters away. You were going to make it. You leaped from the trees and onto the path that lead to the school, that Levi would soon canter up, and sprinted away towards the gym, which was around the back entrance of the manor building. You flew past the windows of the manor, probably causing confusion to all the students using the library as they wondered why a H/C coloured bird was flying so low to the ground. 

A sound almost made your heart stop. Hooves that were punching the sandy path were fast approaching, and they weren't far behind... Damn. Levi must have prepared the same stallion that he was riding on Saturday, the fast and furious black one with the white ears. But Skira was faster than that... You could be too... 

You chanted at yourself to go faster as you skidded around the corner, sending sand flying in all directions. You could see the door to the gym; you could see your teacher waiting just outside with a stopwatch, waiting for his students to return. You could see your teacher's eyes widen as he saw you, sprinting just before a horse that was clearly going all out, with Levi perched on his back.

And you could also see the ground as you fell forwards, throwing yourself forward to touch the double doors first, to touch victory...

But then arms caught you, circling your shoulders and your waist despite your flailing arms and legs, and Levi hoisted your body up to the horse, placing your body across the saddle so that you couldn't get off - the stallion was just so tall, and you couldn't just let yourself fall off...

“I win,” Levi told you as he touched the gym door, nodding his goodbye at the teacher before looking at you with glittering malice. “I'll inform you when I want the twenty four hours to start. Take Raven back to the stables now, as penance for thinking that you and then rest of your year aren't pathetic.”

You lifted yourself properly onto the saddle of Raven, sighing as you watched Levi going inside with a swagger that you hated. Nodding at your teacher, you started to force the horse into a trot back to the stables. “Miss L/N,” Shadis said, a slight tremor going through you at the sound of his voice, “did you just race against one of the fastest stallions that we have in our possession?”

“Yes.”

“Did you nearly win against it?”

“Yes.”

“SO WHY THE HELL DID YOU NOT WIN, MISS L/N?” You refrained from shaking your head at the teacher, who was well-known for terrorizing his students on their first day and   
working them so hard in his class that students have fainted. Still, you saw no reason to respect him. He made himself feel good by picking on those with lesser power. That made him a bully, and you saw no reason to respect a bully. So when you replied, you replied quickly and shortly.

“Because I am still not strong enough,” you said, and kicked Raven's side to get him to move. The horse seemed tired out after just one mile, the poor thing, you assessed. Shadis was stern on everyone, and you tried to please him occasionally by being the best, if only to stop him yelling at you. But being the best was hard, and you knew that more than ever with the stitch in your sides, and your legs that trembled with the adrenaline of running so fast. 

But as you passed your class again, with you heading back to the stables and them heading to the gym, you couldn't meet any of their eyes. Isabel took one look at your face and started herding everyone on, claiming that there was nothing to look at. You knew that you would have to thank her later.

And as you passed Krista and Ymir, who both looked at you with hopeful eyes, you dismounted and bowed to Krista. “I'm sorry,” you said, your pride hating this, your pride hating that you couldn't beat a man on a horse. “I couldn't make him apologize.”

Before giving Krista a chance to reply, you hopped back on Raven and trotted away, looking back at the pair only after you were a safe distance away. Krista wasn't looking at you, but Ymir - to your surprise - was, and you watched in astonishment as the girl who had hated you from the start of school... The girl who glared at you no matter where you were or what you were doing... Ymir bowed at you, and then took Krista's hand and ran on towards the school.

You sat on the saddle, wondering what that meant. But then you trotted on, thinking and worrying about a day that was sure to follow, where Levi could demand anything of you. You didn't want to think what he could want... 

You neared the stables and walked Raven into his paddock, taking off his saddle and bridle. As you took pity on the tired horse, you ended up washing him down and filling up his food with fresh hay and apples before visiting Skira three paddocks away. She was thrilled to see you, but soon calmed down as she realized that your aura was not a pleasant one.   
After feeding and washing both horses, you started the long walk towards the girl's Dorm, passing groups of people walking the grounds in the pleasant afternoon. Couples on dates were walking hand in hand, and you hastily hid yourself behind a tree as you saw one girl sitting on a bench alone. You knew who she was, and you knew exactly who she was missing - the boy you had basically murdered. Franz Kefka, the lonely swordsman that had a strong and sure approach to everything. Was he nervous when he murdered the teacher? Or was he thinking about the girl who was in front of you know, thinking that he had to find a way to be with her? Her eyes were blank, so dull and lifeless. When you had killed Franz, it seemed, you had killed her too.

It was around six that you walked into the girl's Dorm and quickly ate your dinner in solitary silence, only due to the fact that no first-years were there; they must have already eaten. You ignored all of the second and third years as they sat at their tables eating and doing their homework, only looking at your stew in sour silence. You climbed the stairs and walked along the long corridor, taking a few left turns until you reached and opened your door, getting changed into pyjamas and finishing your maths homework before noticing the envelope on your bed.

It was hard to miss - a bright white envelope with a red seal, with smooth ink addressing it to Y/N L/N. A sinking feeling made itself known in your stomach as you neared it.  
Every Monday, every student received a letter. If it was blank, then you were safe, you didn't have to kill anyone. But if there was a dot in the middle of the page the size of a fingertip, then you had been chosen to commit the murder of the teacher on that Friday.

You opened the envelope and pulled out the paper.


	7. Chapter 7 - The Woods

The paper was blank.

You breathed a sigh of relief before ripping the paper into many pieces and throwing them into the sink in your bathroom, before rummaging in your drawer for matches. Striking one and lighting one of the many pieces of paper, you watched as the flickering firelight devoured all of the evidence. Students had very weird ways to deal with these letters. Some, like you, destroyed them regularly whether they had a dot or not. They were the clever ones, the ones most likely to survive until graduation.

Others paraded their letters around, proudly showing off that theirs didn't contain the dot - but no one really trusted them anyway. They could easily fake being innocent, keeping a blank piece of paper from the weeks before. So you didn't count on anything - especially when there were a few crazy students who all claimed that they had been chosen and fought between themselves to prove which one of their letters were realistic. As you rinsed the ruined ashes down the sink, you looked at your reflection once more and turned back into your room, with every intention to fall asleep. As you crossed your small room, however, a knock made you change course towards your door. Stopping just before the barrier between you and whoever it was on the other side, you take a steady breath.

“Who is it?”

“Isabel, so let me in. Unless you're too busy wallowing.” 

You flung the door open and glared at the beaming girl. “Y/N L/N does not wallow!”

“No, she sulks,” Isabel replies before stepping in through the door and closing it behind her. You both lay on your bed on your backs, looking up to the ceiling. “Y/N, there is no shame in what you did.”

“I didn't win.”

“I know that you didn't win, and I know how that must hurt your enormous pride. But you can't let it swallow you - you've just got to become better and be ready to win next time.”

“But there might not be a next time.”

“Oh, stop being dramatic, Pride.” Isabel groaned, calling you by your team nickname. “Of course there will be a next time. If you want, I'll even challenge you to beat Strawberry this Saturday.”

“Isabel, did you not hear the terms to which Levi and I raced?”

“No. What did you agree to?”

“I agreed to do whatever he wanted for twenty four hours, because I didn't realize that there was even the slightest possibility that I would lose.”

“Serves you right, Pride.”

“Shut up! What if he's a sadistic person and orders me to stand still, and then he attacks me?” You say, sketching out that scenario in your head. No matter which way you looked at it, one of you ended up in a deadly situation. Not that you’d let him do anything of the sort – and somehow, you couldn’t see him doing anything that you would severely object to.

“Aniki isn't like that, Y/N. He cares about you, in some weird way.”

You roll onto your stomach at that and look at her, and you knew immediately from her face that she was speaking her truthful opinion. “That's ridiculous, Isabel. Don't joke like that.”

“I don't think that you get it. You haven't known him for as long as I have, and I have never seen him accept someone as quickly as he accepted you.”

“You weren't there when he nearly beat me to hell. He only accepts me because I'm his most dangerous enemy!”

Isabel sighed then, throwing her hands in the air as she stood up from your bed. She walked out, bidding you a good night and a good luck for the tests that started tomorrow and closed the door behind her. You stayed where you were, looking at your ceiling as you mused over what Isabel said. A rustle sounded near your door, and you leaped up with your heart banging, but relaxed when you saw that it was only a piece of paper that someone had slipped under the gap of your door.

You clutched the paper in your hand as you brushed your teeth and hair before climbing into your bed. Only then did you look at the paper, which was clearly from Isabel as her handwriting was loopy and scrawling across the paper. 

‘If you're his worst enemy, then he's accepted you as his best ally.’

***

“Sasha, haven't you had enough yet?”

“I'll never have enough food! Can you pass me more, Annie?”

“Get it yourself.”

“WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?!”

It was Tuesday morning, and you and the girls sat at the breakfast table with various notebooks full of notes or textbooks that were dull and boring. Christa sat next to you, tentatively sipping her orange juice and nibbling on bread as she wrote out her notes again for the fifth time as Ymir slouched in her seat dozing. Isabel and Sasha sat opposite you, squabbling over their cue cards and books whilst Sasha just ate more and more. Seriously, your stomach hurt as you saw how much that girl was piling onto her plate. Annie was on your other side, drinking her water and reading a book. 

Last minute revision was going on everywhere as the spring tests had arrived. Even the second and third years were quiet as they reviewed their notes, even though there was one girl that never seemed to shut up. You could hear Hanji from where she was elaborately teaching a ginger haired girl biology, who had looked at everyone with a plea for help.   
“Does she ever shut up?” Annie asked, voicing your thoughts whilst she never looked up from reading.

“I’m afraid not,” you answered, putting your head in your arms. You normally didn’t have to revise before a test, but even so - you were nervous. If anyone failed these tests dismally, they were thrown out to live in the nearest town. Still, your marks were perfect, so you didn't really have anything to worry about. 

But neither did Annie, who always came a close second to you in classes, and she was still revising as you all stood up to make your way to the main manor house.

Isabel and Annie still had their noses in their books as they walked outside, and since Sasha was busy juggling all of the food that she had sneaked from the table, you grabbed their elbows and steered them away from the obvious dangers. Isabel shot you a thankful glance before burying her head back in a maths book, obviously hoping to absorb more information. Annie only showed an inclination of her head, but you didn't mind - from her, it was impressive that you got any reaction at all.

You met up with the boys at the top of the road, where they were waiting in the courtyard of the manor. Bertoldt waved at you all, grinning as you smiled back and patted Reiner's shoulder as the huge boy was also reading a book. Connie ran to meet Sasha, and the two immediately started whispering equations to each other. Everyone was so tense...

“Yo, Y/N!”

Jean ran up to you with his tie off-centre and his jacket tied around his waist. You hated to admit it, but that boy had an impressive muscular figure. You'd have to watch out for him in the sparring exams. “Hey Jean. You’re not revising?”

“Nope. I can't be bothered.”

“I'll just forget it all if I revise now, anyway,” you agree, leaving Annie in the hands of Bertoldt and Isabel in Reiner's care. 

“What exam do we have first?”

“Um, Japanese Literature. Then we have an hour to prepare for English.”

Jean made a face as he stretched. “Only two exams today?”

“Guess so.” You open the front door and you both step through, where Marco ran towards you. He linked arms with both you and Jean and steered you towards the library, expertly dodging the people studying in the halls. “Marco, what are you doing?”

“Well I want to take a book out of the library, but there are all of the second and third years there and I don't want to go alone.”

“You big baby –“

“That's alright,” you interrupted Jean, holding your head up higher in what you hoped was a confident pose. “What's the book on?”

“Um, it's a book on the kanji signs. I have a bad memory, but I'm hoping that if I can just look over them one more time...”

“Marco, you'll do fine. You were revising in my room all of last night, surely that's enough?” Jean scratched the back of his head as you opened the doors, and stepped into the huge room. 

Bookshelves were everywhere, bordering the walls and creating aisles, and there was a huge long table running down the length of the room which was piled with books and second years studying, their blue ties jumping out at you from everywhere. There were several plants here; ivy was creeping up along the tall shelves, and long vines were suspended from the ceiling - which was very high up because the library was two floors, with stairs and balconies allowing access to the highest books. You walked towards the Japanese Literature section and leaned against a chair, watching Marco and Jean pull out books and replace the wrong ones.

“Y/N L/N - right?”

You turned to see the ginger-haired girl that Hanji had been talking to earlier look at you with a smile. You nodded. “Yep, that's me. I'm sorry, but I don't think that we've been introduced?”

“Petra Ral, second year, in case you couldn't tell,” she beamed, tugging on her blue tie. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm just waiting for a guy,” you vaguely gestured to Marco and Jean, “he's trying to learn kanji in the last fifteen minutes.”

“My first exam is physics,” Petra groaned, looking down at the heavy book in her arms, “but it isn't for another hour yet. I've always liked analysis and maths, to be honest.”

“Really? I've always found English easier - but it helps that I'm not bad in my other subjects.”

“Are you kidding me? You're always one of the top scorers!” Petra wiggled her fingers at you. “I never expected you to be modest. Isn't the nickname that your team has for you ‘Pride’?”

You sighed and watched a few of the other second years begin to take an interest in you. “Yes, but I normally try to keep a level-head. Normally I only act haughty towards the people that I know.”

“How come?”

“Well, I don't want to rely on anyone,” you said, struggling to explain it, “and if I act horrible, they go away of their own accord and then I physically can’t rely on anyone.”

“That sounds lonely, though,” Petra said. A boy approached her from behind, with light brown hair and a few wrinkles on his face despite him obviously being young. “I know that I'd hate to work alone all of the time. Isn't that right, Oluo?” With that, she turned lightly punched the one you assumed to be Oluo, who smirked terrifyingly at you. His light brown hair stuck up in weird directions, as though he was trying to follow a certain trend but had tried his own disastrous spin on it.

“Yeah, it's alright Petra - you can always fall into my arms,” he said, with an irritating nasal voice.

“No thanks,” she replied, pushing him away teasingly, “I'd rather fall asleep.”

“And Petra’s being sassy towards Oluo – what else is new?” Two other boys come around the corner, one with immaculate uniform that hadn't a crease in sight, and the other with a uniform that was everywhere - tie was loose and the top button undone, with his jacket tied around his waist. Oluo turned to them, annoyance strutting over his features.

“Sorry,” Petra hurriedly said, gesturing to the incomers, “this is Eld and Gunther.”

“Good morning!” They both waved and dragged Oluo away and down another aisle, where lots of laughter could be heard. 

“Anyway, haven't you got to get going now?” Petra inquired, looking at her watch. “It looks like Japanese Literature is about to start.”

You were already running before she had finished her sentence. You caught and dragged Marco and Jean, who promptly dropped all of their books to run alongside you. You sprinted out of the library and onto the stairs, where you collided with someone and fell down several stairs before someone caught your body with two strong arms. It would have been a flawless rescue if your head hadn't smacked into the oak banister with a loud crash, sending your vision into stars and forcing tears to well up in your eyes.

“Oh my -! Are you alright, Y/N?”

You groaned in response, opening your eyes slowly and letting a tear roll down your face. Farlan's worried face swam into view, and you realized that he was holding you in bridal style, with you bundled into his chest. You tensed up and Farlan immediately set you down on your own two feet.

But he righted you too fast, and you fell against him again, squealing because your head was screaming at you. “Farlan...? I thought you were in the Infirmary?”

“I finally managed to get out,” he smiled, holding you until you could stand up again. “Levi! That was not very nice! You sent Y/N flying!”

“Serves her right. There's supposed to be no running in these halls.”

You looked up towards the first landing and sure enough Levi stood there with his arms crossed and a deadly aura around him. Marco and Jean had long gone, probably not even noticing your absence in their rush to get to your exam.

“Eeek!” You yelled, startling Farlan and beginning to run back up the stairs. “I've got an exam! I need to go!”

Farlan laughed from down the stairs, and you were running past Levi as he grabbed your arm and tugged you back. “Your head - is it alright?” He asked, looking you right in the eyes.

“Y-yes?”

“Levi!” Petra's voice floated up to you from your dazed state. “I thought I heard your voice!”

“Petra,” Levi greeted her, his eyes still on you. You couldn't move, utterly captivated in the stare that Levi had caught you with. 

“Are you coming to eat lunch with me today?”

His eyes didn’t move from yours, even as he answered Petra. You met his stare with one of your own, that was equally unforgiving. “That's what I said yesterday, isn't it?”

“Yep, just making sure! Erm, L/N, isn't your exam starting in one minute?”

Levi seemed to come to his senses then, looking at you with more of the glare that he presented to everyone. “Good luck,” he said meekly, letting go of your arm. You were frozen into place, before coming back to the world that you were in and running again. As you ran away, you looked back and saw Petra linking her arm through Levi's and tugging him upstairs towards the second floor. Farlan was laughing with Eld and Gunther as Oluo hurried to catch up the couple at the stairs. The look on Petra's face was beatific... She was in love with Levi, you realized, tearing your gaze away to look in front of you again. 

You stopped just in front of the doors that lead into the Japanese Literature exams, and teachers cast disapproving looks at you as you sat in your normal desk at the front of the class, next to Annie. You caught exasperated glances from all of your friends as you sat down and took a breath, preparing yourself for the exam ahead.

But even as you forced yourself to focus on the symbols in front of you, you still saw Petra as she linked arms with Levi, her gaze clearly stating 'he's mine.'

***

By the end of the week, you were tired and stressed. Exams were hard on you, and there was the extra factor of Jean and Marco were not letting the fact that you nearly missed the Japanese exam go without a fight. If they said anything like, 'Pride's here! Shocker, that is!' one more time then you were going to lock Jean in the stables, right where he belonged.

But it was Friday evening now, and you and the girls were relaxing in the dining room eating dinner. Isabel was studiously ignoring Annie, who was reading out all of the questions again and again, before explaining in great detail what she had written and what she should have written... If you were fair, it was getting on your nerves too.

Sasha just looked on with her eyes dull as though she was dead inside. She was still eating, but her movements were slow and sluggish, and she never even looked at where her fork was. So when she dripped beef stew over her uniform, she didn't even notice. 

You were eating your own stew with much more dignity than your half-dead friends, taking the time to sit and just watching everyone in the room. It was Friday. The game would begin again at midnight – and here you were, contemplating how much you didn't even want to play. You were just so tired... You'd rather just to stay in bed.

There were students who couldn't be bothered some nights, and instead of getting up at midnight, they just stayed in bed. You were sorely tempted to follow their routine, but if you didn't guess the name then either no one would or 'Team Justice' would. And if no one guessed it – then a random student would be chosen to befall the fate of the murderer, had they been guessed. Both options went with their own risks... But as you sat contemplating staying in bed, Annie glared at you and smacked your hand, hard. 

“Annie!” Isabel yelped, snapping out of her reverie and standing up over Annie. “What was that for?”

“Although I sometimes want to hit Y/N,' Sasha offered, a light entering back into her eyes as she reached for your hand, “even I think that was mean.”

“No it wasn't,” Annie said, looking only at you. “She was contemplating something stupid.”

You looked right back at her with wide eyes, ignoring how Isabel rolled her eyes and Sasha spilled another spoonful of beef onto her lap. “H-how did you know that?”

Annie shrugged and stood up from the table, obviously planning on turning to bed early. “I know you a lot better than you think, Pride.”

You, Isabel and Sasha watched her walk away through the double doors with open mouths. “Well, that was weird.” Sasha sighed as she stood up as well. “I suppose that I'll see you all around midnight, huh?”

“Goodnight!” You and Isabel chorused. As you both sat in a tired silence, another person sat in Annie's vacated seat and waved at you both.

“Hiya!” Petra grinned, leaning over and grabbing a piece of bread from the plate in the centre of the table. “Did you make it to your exam in the end, Y/N?”

“Barely,” Isabel answered for you, glaring at Petra. You raised an eyebrow at her, wondering about her snappy attitude and the glare. Did she know Petra? Isabel’s darkening mood suggested that she did indeed know the pretty girl, but did not exactly like her. Petra seemed to follow your thoughts as she looked at the glare your friend was giving her and smiled.

“Oh, Isabel! It's been ages!” Petra turned to your best friend, her smile still lighting up her fair face. “How are you?”

“I was fine,” Isabel snapped, standing up and leaving without even a farewell glance in your direction. 

“What - wait!” You called, but Isabel only ignored you as she walked through the doors and shut them with such an attitude that you felt proud. “What was that about?” You asked Petra, who looked slightly relieved now that Isabel was gone.

“Isabel does not like me very much,” she said, nibbling on her bread. “I think that it's got something to do with the fact that –“

“Y/N!” Hanji yelled as she sat in Isabel's seat, her uniform creased and her hair all over the place. “Long time, no see!”

“It's been a week,” you answered, not looking away from Petra. The girl looked happier now that Hanji was here in Isabel’s stead, and she smiled at Hanji as she too grabbed a piece of bread. “That's not exactly a long time.”

“It was to me, Y/N,” Hanji wept, clutching her heart. “I feel so hurt that you obviously don't care about me the way I care about you!”

“And how is that?” Petra asked, looking at you with amusement. You got the feeling that she was enjoying herself immensely.

“I care about Y/N as a sister of fate, obviously. The scientist and the assassin always make the best team, don't you know?” Hanji smirked at you, and you looked impassively back at her while begging your cheeks not to blush. 

“Oh, yes. And there was me thinking that Team Justice was the best!” Petra smiled, rolling her brown eyes. “Are you guys going out again this week?”

“Of course not,” Hanji said, chewing on her bread, a warning light entering her eyes behind the glasses. “We agreed on alternate weeks, didn't we?”

“Wait, I'm lost,” you said, holding up your hands, “what's going on?”

“Oh, of course you wouldn't know,” Petra smiled nicely at you. “It's just that Hanji's team and my team got into a little disagreement in our first year.”

“A little? Is that what you'd call little?” Hanji gaped in disbelief, but quickly shut up as you whacked her over the head. 

“What was the disagreement about?” You asked, and Petra sighed happily. You didn’t miss the look of disdain that Hanji shot her, and you got a sense of foreboding at the enjoyment Petra took in the power she had in knowledge.

“You've met Levi, haven't you?”

Your heart stopped, and you froze for a second. It was only a second; you then threw yourself back into the conversation with new vigour. “Oh, yes. I don't think he likes me very much...” You trailed off as you remembered all of the glares that he'd sent your way. 

Petra and Hanji laughed. “Levi doesn't like anyone very much, so don't get offended.” Hanji said before Petra went back to explaining.

“Well, Erwin san wanted Levi to be on his team immediately once he'd seen the potential. But I'd already asked Levi to be on my team, with Oluo, Eld and Gunther. So then we just decided to share, I guess. Our team didn't go out last Friday, but tonight it'll be Hanji and Erwin who don't go out.”

“And Levi agrees with this – this weird sharing system?” You say, wracking your brains to think of yourself in a situation like that. Petra shrugs. You didn't like the term 'share'. What was Levi to her, an object? But then you remembered the look of love in her eyes and you knew that wasn't the case. “That's impressive. I can't see him agreeing to anything I say.”

“Maybe you have to change the way that you ask,” Hanji suggested as she stood up and gestured for Petra to do the same. “Anyway, Y/N, we're going to bed now. I'll see you tomorrow! Enjoy the game.”

“And I might see you tonight.” Petra winked at you as she followed Hanji out of the doors. You gave yourself a minute just sitting at the tables alone before you stood up as well. You walk out of the grand dining room into the just as grand entrance hall, and you walk over to the doors. They were never locked, but the handles were polished every night at seven o’clock... And it was half seven now. There were no fingerprints, however. So that was a dead end.

Next, you walked over to the long table at the side of the hall, where lots of paper sat in open books. Behind the table, there was a large board where notices could be pinned and photos could be stuck. But you weren't here to look over the pictures... You grabbed the register and looked down the long line of names. There were no leads here, either. Everyone's name had a tick next to it, so everyone was here... Unless they had snuck out.

You climbed the stairs and walked along the first floor, checking the doors. Thankfully, no one else was in the corridor, so no one could tell you that you were being creepy or weird. Seeing that every door had a light on behind it, you then proceeded to the second floor and checked all of those... And then, just to be sure, you climbed to the third and checked all of those as well.

Only then did you walk back to your door on the first floor and unlock it. You fussed around, the nerves getting to you a little, before climbing into bed and staring at the candle that you had set near the open window sill. It flickered a little, casting shadows everywhere in the smallest of places. Focusing on the candle, you felt your eyes slip closed...

***

The bell rang all too soon. You jumped up immediately and began putting on your uniform from where it was perfectly folded on your desk, and checked the candle - still alive and flickering. You opened your door to the darkness of the corridor, and step out boldly, coolly. You wouldn't be scared tonight. You were an assassin - you could handle death. 

“Yo, Pride. I'm right behind you.”

You smiled. For the girl who never failed to make you feel better, who was standing right behind you as she always did, you'd handle death.

***

“Y/N, are you absolutely sure?”

“Connie!” You yelled, semi-exasperated. It was lightly raining, and that did not sit well with the hot-headed boy, who trudged along the path alongside you. The rest of your team were behind you as you all walked along in silence, listening to the sounds of rainfall - apart from you and Connie, of course. 

“I know that you have your gut feeling and all, but we are walking through the woods at midnight. It is cold and wet and dark and I don't like it.”

“Connie!” You cried again. “I've already said this! Reiner checked the boy's register and found that one boy had signed in late, and when we investigated his window, we found the footsteps in the mud where he had climbed in to avoid being seen. We're following them now. So therefore, they have to lead us to the body.”

“I hate it when you're right,” he grumbled before dropping back to join Sasha in singing a depressing funeral march. 

“What I don't understand is how he manages to stick around with you at all, Pride,” Reiner joked as he picked you up and swung you over his shoulder. You squealed, kicking out but laughing at the look of stunned astonishment on Annie and Bertoldt's faces; obviously, they hadn't thought that Reiner would dare to touch you at all. “After all, you're just a real bundle of terror, aren't you?”

“Reiner!” You giggled, punching him lightly from where you dangled over his shoulder. Normally you'd be cold and raging, but tonight you just wanted to let go. It had been a hard week. Bertoldt smirked at you, and as you could only see everyone upside down, you watched the cool curve of his lips turn. “Bertoldt, if you dare laugh I swear I will –“

“It's hard to take your death threats seriously with you upside down, Y/N,” he told you, leaning forward and flicking your nose. “You look...”

You raise an eyebrow, and Isabel looked at Bertoldt with something akin to absolute fear on her face. “Like what?”

“Cute,” he said, shrugging, and you flopped in shock. Reiner gripped your thighs tighter so that you didn't fall from his tall height, and you just dangled and looked at Bertoldt. Annie glared at Bertoldt, but when she saw that he was still laughing at you, she also turned to survey you. With your pout and shocked expression, she also nodded.

“She is quite cute, actually,” Anne said, almost unconsciously. Luckily, everyone had the sense not to comment on it, and Isabel ran up to Reiner so that you could see her out of the corner of your eyes. Isabel and Reiner then started chatting about random things, and you could occasionally feel Reiner's laughter through his back as Isabel told a joke. Annie and Bertoldt were talking about your face and what was cute about it, so you carefully tuned the rest of their conversation out as you then turned your attention to Connie and Sasha.

Or you would have, if they had been there.

***

All of your team minus two were huddled around a tree, the rain still lightly landing on the ground. You paced like a caged cat, up and around the huge tree trunk. Reiner and Bertoldt's eyes followed you warily as they saw your worry for your lost teammates, whilst Annie and Isabel made the call using the phone. 

Because hung by their neck over the tree was the teacher, stuck forever in a position of agony. The student, whose name you didn't know but Reiner did, had obviously dragged the poor guy out here and had left him to hang. It had been long and painful, you had surmised, from looking at the sores around the teacher's neck and his ruined nails from trying to tear the noose from around his neck.

But that wasn't what dominated your mind right now. Sasha and Connie had been singing a funeral march the last time you had deigned to notice them, and because you weren't careful enough, they were now gone.

“They probably got lost, Y/N,” Bertoldt suggested, “maybe once the bell rings - because we know all three answers now - they'll give up and head back to the dorms with everyone else.”

“Bertoldt,” Annie said quietly, but you were too caught up in a fury to notice her shake her head at the tall boy, who quickly fell silent. The bell rang in the distance, and Isabel sniffed as she joined you all on the other side of the tree. 

“Isabel, you're getting sick,” Reiner said, and after a sidelong glance at you, he scooped her up in his arms. “I'm taking her back... We can't risk ourselves just because those two got themselves lost.”

Bertoldt nodded in agreement, and the three walked slowly away.

“Y/N...?” Isabel whispered through cold lips. You smiled at her, with the rain running down your face as you made the peace sign with two fingers.

“I'll find them, Isabel, don't worry. Go and get warm.”

And with that, Reiner and Bertoldt began running back down the path that you had come down. Annie, however, stayed right by your side. You didn't question her motives, because you soon began running down a completely different path and you needed your breath. You heard her footsteps close behind, and so you two completely allowed yourselves to become animalistic creatures of the forest. You knew Sasha and Connie. They were right behind you - they could plainly see and hear you from where they had been. 

They wouldn't have got lost, because they were fully able to hear you and your team.

But if they could hear you, then the people who took them could as well.

You became the wind.

You became the rain.

And you became the fury at the people who had taken your friends.


	8. Chapter 8 - The Prison

You skidded to a halt, sending mud flying in every direction. Rain was falling harder now, lashing down with a brutal force and punching the ground. Slowly the ground had become mud, and though you hated mud, you did love its ability to keep footprints intact so that you could follow them.

But the track ended here. They literally just disappeared in the middle of taking one step to another, like they had just taken off in flight. Annie stooped lower to one of the footprints as you stalked around like an angry cat, yowling under your breath. The bell had sounded roughly fifteen minutes ago, and so everyone should either be back or nearly at the dorms by now. But these tracks were made when the mud was just becoming slippery enough to make one trip - and that had only happened two minutes ago. People were still out here - you knew it.

“Y/N,” Annie said, and you hardly cared about the fact that she had used your first name as casually as she did. You were too wound up, but you still crouched by her side and looked at one of the last muddy footprints. “This is the last step that this particular shoe sized person took. Notice anything?”

You shook off the yearning to tell her to just tell you what was different, and inspected it. At first, you didn't notice anything different - but then when you looked at the other footprints that they had made, you realized what was different. “It's deeper!” You said in surprise. “The last footprint goes much deeper into the mud than all of the others.”

“Exactly. That either means that they were planting the footsteps here or that –“

“They were going to jump,” you finished, standing up with Annie. She immediately started looking around; scanning the area around you both, but you tapped her on the shoulder. 

“You're looking the wrong way.”

“What?” She growled. “I'm looking everywhere!”

“You're looking down,” you said, raising an eyebrow. “Every assassin knows that the most important place to start looking is...” And with that, you point upwards, and there was a huge branch just two feet above your heads. Because of the darkness of the night, neither of you had realized at first. Until you had crouched down to inspect the footprint, and then you had known because there were no raindrops marring the perfect footprint, meaning that there was something blocking the rainfall just above you. 

“Up,” Annie whispered. She jumped and caught hold of the branch, lifting herself up with ease by gripping onto the vines that were twisting around the wood, seemingly infused with the old wood. “Come on, we haven't got much time,” she said, reaching down to take your hand. You hesitated at first, looking at the pale hand that was being offered. “Come on!” Annie said again, and you shook yourself as you grabbed hold and climbed onto the branch. You were now a tall height off the ground, and you balanced yourself as you started walking towards the trunk of the main tree. 

“They definitely went this way,” you said, your keen eyes picking up on a scrap of clothing that was caught on a thorn. It was white - and that was bad. It meant that the prime suspects of your teammates being taken was by fellow students, and you weren't particularly happy about that.

Annie was already halfway up the tree by the time that you had looked around for her. “I know this route,” she called down to you, “it is one leading out towards the wall. It's high and relies on the branches up at the top.”

You shrug and climb up the tree, which was surprisingly easy to do because of all of the branches protruding from the trunk and producing natural arm and foot holes. The rain now faded to a background noise as it bathed your face and clothes, making them stick to your skin. You glanced at your hands, which were now cold enough to not feel anything else, and prayed to whatever sick God was still watching over you to let you still be alright to save Sasha and Connie.

Annie lead the way through the treetops, and you had to watch her carefully to see where to place your feet or your hands. After a few minutes of constant movement, the wall appeared through the cracks in the branches, and your breath caught as you saw Annie pause on a large branch just ahead of you. She was unnaturally still, a predator watching prey, and so you made sure that you were exceptionally silent as you climbed around another tree to join her on the branch, looking down at the scene below you.

There were several people down there, wearing a green cape to protect their uniforms from the rain - not that it was doing a good job. Their clothes were heavily muddied, a fact that you could see instantly. There were four gathered around two in the center, and so you instantly knew who the two in the middle were.

They didn't have cloaks, because Sasha and Connie were usually too absent minded to care about the weather and which precautions to take regarding it. If you squinted, you knew that you'd probably see Sasha's lips quivering with the cold and Connie's hands holding hers in what he thought was a protective gesture. As it were, their hands were bound behind their backs, and you could hear Connie's constant complaints.

“-you're crazy, you have no idea about who she is!”

“I don't think we're crazy. You don't know how much you're worth.”

You almost fell out of the tree. That voice that replied to Connie...

It was Petra's.

Annie gripped your hand in hers as you automatically started to stand up. You tried to tug it away, but her grip was immovable. So you relaxed back down, knowing that their lives were not in immediate danger, and listened some more.

“Petra, are you sure that she'll even be looking?”

“You don't know dear little Pride like I do, Oluo. She cares more than she thinks to admit, and so of course she'll be looking.”

It was almost funny. You could have sworn you were cold, but now your blood was boiling with such a heat that you forgot all about being cold. Annie's nails gripped into your S/C skin, and you almost hissed at her to make her let you go, but you knew that it would be futile. “So Levi's waiting for her to start searching, and then he'll bring her here unarmed, yes?”

“Yes, Eld! How many times do you want me to say it?” Petra was obviously very tired, very exasperated and you could swear that she was frightened. You watched her little body rock back and forth, her arms wrapped around herself for comfort. “I was doing research into all of the first years, like I'm supposed to, but Pride's file was blank. I want to know who she is and why she doesn't have a file. Of course, she isn't just going to tell me without motives. And so,” Petra said as she gestured towards Connie and Sasha, “I gave her a motive.”

You ground your teeth as you heard how Levi was involved, and how your file was mentioned. You nearly snarled as Petra walked forwards to crouch by Connie and Sasha. “I'm really sorry about dragging you two into this,” she said, and she unfastened her cloak and draped it around Sasha, pulling the hood over her brown hair. “But I'm really worried about who that girl is. No one is that talented naturally.”

“Y-you could have done this on the night that it isn't raining,” Connie snarled, kicking his legs out. “And what makes you think that Levi can beat Y/N in combat anyway? She's the best!”

“She's the best of the first years,” Petra corrected, pulling a spare cloak out of the bag at Eld's feet and fastening it around him, “but Levi is the best out of the second years.”

“Besides,” Oluo laughed, throwing his head back and striking the pose of a hero, “how good can one little bitch be?”

You stood up then, blood thrumming in your veins. Annie had already let you go and was already stealthily climbing down the tree, her ice blue eyes focused on Sasha and Connie. You knew that she'd get them out of danger. With anger emitting out of you, you slid your daggers out of their sheaths at your side and you flung yourself out of the tree.

***

You had already calculated the fall and how you'd land. So when your feet met the grass and your knees bent to absorb the impact, you were already snarling.

You sprinted towards Eld and Gunther, and as their swords came down towards your body, your daggers smoothly swiped into action and parried both. Their strength, however, shocked you. Your arms wobbled to push them away, and so you quickly withdrew and aimed for the handles of the swords. With a flick of your wrists, their swords clattered down into the mud and you kicked them far into the woods, before turning and shoving your fists into their stomachs. With Gunther wheezing for air and Eld on his knees in the mud, clutching his stomach, you whirled as you heard another sword come into play. Oluo, it seemed, was quite the straight forward attacker. As his sword neared your head, you side stepped out of the way so that the blade just nicked your ear, but missed you otherwise. You punched his leg, ducking underneath his arms and making sure that he'd trip. But as you took a step, Petra's sword swiped at your feet.

Your boots were strong enough to save you from the slice, but not enough to save you from the strength of the blow. Mud slid from underneath your foot and you tripped, landing on your knees in the mud whilst Petra ran at you again to strike you with another blow.

“Tripping people is not nice,” you said as you flung out a leg and kicked her ankle, sending her flying in the other direction. Apparently luck was on your side because she landed on Oluo, who was just coming at you with both fists raised. They both collided with a tree, whacking their bodies on the hard barrier. You checked on Eld and Gunther, which was a good move as they had decided to try and attack you again. You decided not to end this fight quickly, liking the feeling of adrenaline in your bones and the stretch of your muscles working, liking the sound of your daggers swiping through air and the clang of metal on metal.

But then you snapped out of that lust for the fight. Getting lost in blood lust is bad! You thought to yourself, cursing your weakness at liking fighting and liking the workout.   
Your moment away from consciousness had an unwelcome affect. Gunther had struck one dagger out of your hand, and you were dazed enough that Eld had taken the other one. Without weapons, you were nearly defenseless - nearly.

You slide one foot in front of the other, tightening your core muscles and holding your head up high. With Eld coming at you again after tossing your dagger to the side, you waited until he was near enough to touch you before striking. Being a master at judo, taekwondo and karate, you weren't surprised that he was knocked onto his butt in the mud, already unconscious before he met the ground. You punched the sword coming at you, ignoring the slice against your knuckles as you set it off course. You took hold of it with your other hand and pulled it to one side, Gunther following it with a look of dazed surprise on his face. Your fist, despite the slice that was grazing deep into your palm, came to meet his temple; with one well-placed blow, he was out. 

Glancing behind you to where Sasha and Connie were, you weren't surprised to instead see just a few pieces of rope and Petra's cloak on the ground. You sprinted over to them and grabbed the rope, tying Gunther and Eld together and leaving them in the mud for a moment. 

Oluo and Petra were also knocked out due to their collision with the tree. You tied them together using the other piece of rope, and you then started looking around. 

Annie was gone, probably back to the dorms with Sasha and Connie in tow. You searched around, and pretty quickly you saw a lantern approaching. You knew who it would be - Levi was searching for you, and when he couldn't find you, of course he'd come back here to Petra. You dragged all four unconscious students towards a tree, where the branches offered them some mild coverage from the rain. Petra stirred as you placed Eld and Gunther next to her and Oluo, and she murmured to you softly.

“Why haven't you killed us?”

You look at her, pitying the way her amber eyes look so soft. “Because you're just trying to protect the school and the friends that you love so much, aren't you? I can't kill you for having pure intentions like that.”

“You - you're not mad?”

“Oh, I'm furious,” you told her, draping her cloak back around her body as thanks for doing the same for Sasha and Connie. “But I'll get over it, maybe. If I was in your position and I saw someone without a file, I'd probably do the same thing that you've just done. Anyway, Levi's nearby, he'll get you free. And I'll check here in the morning to set you free if no one else does.”

“Thank you...Y/N, you're a good person.”

“No, no I'm not,” you say, picking up your daggers from where the boys had thrown them and starting to walk off, remembering the way that you had nearly given yourself over to the blood lust. There was no way that you could be a good person whilst being an assassin with a tendency to love the fight.

Petra spoke again, her eyes drooping due to the nasty lump on her head. “Yes you are.”

“How would you know that, Petra?”

She fell silent as you started running back down the path to the dorms, avoiding the lantern which was approaching from the forest. You wanted a hot bath, desperately. However, even the rain didn't stop you from hearing her late reply.

“Because a bad person wouldn't have come to save their teammates like you did.”

The better part of an hour later, you walked into the Dorms, trailing mud and water everywhere and nearly scaring the Dorm mistress half to death when you burst through the front doors. The Dorm mistress, Ilse Langnar, was a very strict woman when it came to meals and electricity bills, but she was always fascinated with the small facts of life. If you ever wanted to get out of trouble, all you had to do was recite an odd fact to her. She would then find it fascinating, widening her hazel eyes and brushing her black hair out her face before scribbling in an overflowing notebook.

So when you merely dropped a fact about how titans were increasing their cannibalistic tendencies and became less active at night (information that you had retained from one of the many of Hanji's lectures) her face darkened and her pen whipped out, and she shuffled away slowly, ignoring the steady dripping of your uniform onto the navy colour of the carpet.

You flew up the stairs and threw your uniform into the wash basket, pulling on a F/C long shirt so that it just covered your underwear and then you barged into Annie's room, worrying about Sasha and Connie, worrying about Petra, worrying about her...

She was leaning over her desk, scribbling something in tiny writing on a very small piece of paper. She was wearing grey jogging bottoms, with a loose top that showed off her figure. Her hair was still up in the bun, wet tendrils falling and framing her face - which was pulled back into a snarl.

“What do you want?”

“Chocolate, at the moment,” you said, walking in a few steps and shutting the door behind you. You flick her forehead, and wink at her teasingly. “I wanted to say thank you for today,” you amended, smiling at her. “Although if you have chocolate, I have no complaints.”

“There's no need to thank me. I was just making sure that you wouldn't get yourself killed.”

“Would I ever do that?” You gasped dramatically, leaning back against the door. 

“I don't think you get it,” Annie said, putting her hand on the wall just by where your face was. She leaned in, her arms caging your face so that you couldn't get away. “You threw yourself out of a tree. I nearly ran to catch you, scared that you were going to kill yourself.”

You didn't know what to say. Her eyes were so close to yours, and your heart thudded. Were you scared of her? You weren't sure. “W-what stopped you? From catching me, I mean.”

Annie's eyes flickered with something as she drew back, stepping away from you. “You were snarling,” she smiled, “and so I knew that you were planning to fight. And I knew that I'd support you.”

You were frozen after that comment - there was nothing about Annie to suggest that she liked you in any way, shape of form, so you had merely assumed that she just liked the challenge that you presented. So when her fingers grazed your neck and pulled the shirt collar away from your skin slightly, you were shocked further into immobilization. 

She didn't do much. Once she had seen the terror that must have been evident in your eyes, she merely touched your collarbone with one finger, and withdrew her touch. With that, she reached behind you and twisted the door handle, before lightly pushing you out of her room. You cocked your head at the strange girl as she closed it in front of you, leaving you alone in the dark corridor. Breathing deeper to calm your heart, you walk along the doors until you reach Sasha's. Knocking once, with no reply, you ease the door open just a crack. Loud snores greet you, and even in the darkness you can just make out Sasha's silhouette sprawled across her bed. Smiling in spite of the serious situation that she'd been in, you closed the door with as little sound as you could before walking to the final door.

You walked straight in, not bothering to knock. However, Isabel's light was already on and you blinked in the sudden light, wincing as the white blinded you. As your eyes quickly adapted, you grinned as you saw Isabel sitting on her bed with a blanket wrapped around her like a tent. 

But then you realized that she wasn't alone. Farlan sat at her desk, mixing a hot chocolate for the girl, frozen in the process of making a bad joke - you could tell, because his mouth was still hanging open, his eyes dancing.

And then there was him.

You didn't hesitate to turn and punch him.

***

“I'm not sorry,” you told them sourly after they had sat you on Isabel's bed, tying your wrists together jokingly with a tie. 

“We know that, unfortunately,” Isabel laughed, tears still streaming down her face. She had found everything hilarious - which you were lucky for, because you felt the same way. Your knuckles still stung from where you had punched Levi in the shoulder. You knew that they'd bruise, but nowhere near the severity that Levi's shoulder would - after your fist had connected, he had bitten his lip to keep from yelling as he fell against Isabel's wall, knocking down several pictures and drawings from where they were pinned. 

That very boy was now sitting as far away from you as he could, emitting a deadly aura as Farlan attempted to massage the shoulder without laughing - he wasn't succeeding. 

“So what was that for?” Isabel asked, wiping her face. She looked so much better than she had at the forest, and you were glad for Reiner returning her when he had. 

“Oh, he knows,” you say sourly, glaring right back at Levi. 

“Yes, but we don't,” Farlan said, giving up on Levi's shoulder and sitting next to you on Isabel's bed. It was only then that you remembered your state of dress - Farlan's eyes often drifted downwards but then snapped back up, meeting your gaze with only a slight blush. You pulled the shirt down as far as it would go, but it only came down to the very top of your thigh. You flicked your gaze to Levi and he speedily looked away from you, his grey eyes now glaring at something out of the window.

“Then Levi can tell you,” you said, smirking at Levi.

“Brat, do you know where I've been the entirety of tonight?”

You blink, startled at the intensity of his gaze. “Apparently, you’ve been looking for me. You’ve been planning to disarm me and drag me to interrogation with your vile team.”

Isabel and Farlan perk up, their eyebrows raised and their eyes firmly on Levi. He only looked at you, before saying, “and you trust Petra's word over mine?”

You stutter then - what were you supposed to say? “Erm - yes? It wasn't just Petra, it was Eld, Gunther and Oluo as well...”

“Y/N, I can't believe that you'd trust Petra,” Isabel groaned, rubbing her hands over her face. “That girl isn't worth your trust.”

“Careful...” Levi growled, “that's my... That's Petra you're talking about.”

“I was well aware,” Isabel told him, defiantly lifting her chin. She crossed her arms and glared at Levi again. “So why did Petra believe that you were just buzzing to abduct Y/N?”

“Because that's what she wanted me to do,” Levi groaned, as though it was obvious, “but all the while, I was searching for you to warn you – not that you deserved it.”

That disarmed you. You most certainly didn't expect that to be his reasoning. “Warn me about Petra?”

He nodded, crossing the room and taking your hands. He untied the tie that had been scruffily bound around them. “Petra doesn't trust you. She's a prefect, you know, in the Special Operations.” Everyone knew that. Special Operations were the second years who were elected to have the same power that you did, except they were official and you weren't. Levi sighed as he continued. “After doing her research of all of the files, she realized that one was missing, and so she naturally tried to... Persuade you to tell her what was in it.”

“Like hell,” you blurted.

“What Y/N means to say is that she can't believe that.” Isabel said, raising her eyebrows at you. 

“I know it's hard to believe that Petra would resort to such means, but she's really strong.” Levi said, looking at you.

“Oh no, I believe the fact that she kidnapped my friends in order to find out about me. I knew that about her from the moment she tried to see behind my attitude the day of the Japanese exam.” You said, shaking your head. “What I don't believe is that you - you actually tried to help me.”

Levi met your eyes and glared. “What? You think I'm incapable of helping you?”

“No, that's not it,” you said, “I know that you're fully capable. But I just don't understand why you would.”

With that, you stood up from the bed, ignoring the shirt that was riding the tops of your legs, patting Farlan's shoulder as you walked out and shut the door. You stayed there for a moment, listening to the silence of the room before Farlan broke it.

“You know, Levi, she has a point.”

“Tch. Shut up.”

You scurried back to your room - or you would have if Levi hadn't opened Isabel's door with an incredible speed and caught your wrists. He kicked the door shut, silencing Isabel and Farlan's murmurs, and dragged you into your room. He shut the door, enclosing you in darkness, before speaking.

“You don't understand why?”

He stepped forward and raised his hand. You flinched backwards, but there was a wall behind you and you couldn't escape. Your breath caught and so did his; your hands twisted at the bottom of your shirt. His hand gently, just slightly, touched your cheek. He let it rest there, sitting on the smooth curve of your cheek, and you feverishly hoped that you weren't blushing. 

“I don't understand either,” he said, before drawing his hand back. A finger drew a line down the curve of your cheek, shaking slightly. You allowed yourself to feel the cool iciness of it, to feel the abrupt shiver that it caused through the rest of your body. He opened your door and stepped out, but before he closed it, he looked at you from where you were standing frozen in the same position. “That was for punching me.”

***

You woke up too early, and quickly dressed into casual clothes and boots that you could walk in. Adding a cloak, due to the fresh coolness of the morning, you walked out of your room and slid down the banister to reach the ground floor. Nodding goodbye to Ilse, who sat at the front door with a mop, you opened the front door and stepped out into the fresh air of the morning. There was no one in sight on the paths or the grounds, mostly due to the fact of the late night before and the fact that it was way too early for a human to function. But you didn't care - you had a promise to keep.

The rain had left a spring to the grass as you walked on it, and it left the fresh tang to the air that you breathed. 

You walked all the way towards the wall, and quickly found the area in which you had left the four students for Levi to untie. 

Except they were still there.

You sprinted towards them, checking their breathing, their temperatures...

And breathed a sigh of relief. They were all still alive. Petra stirred as you cut through the rope at her wrists, and she blearily blinked at you.

“Y/N...? What...?”

“Hush,” you said, finishing with the ropes. You tested each of their capes - sodden - and removed them, throwing them down into the mud. Oluo was still out cold, but he was breathing - the same went for Gunther and Eld. You took off your own cape and tied it around Petra, before shrugging out of your plain jumper and wrapping it around Oluo, who looked so cold due to his lips having a faint bluish tinge. “Didn't Levi come for you?”

“N-no,” Petra said, her eyes looking so sad, “he never came.”

You took a breath through your nose. He had been in Isabel's room the moment that you had entered the Dorm - of course he hadn't been with Petra. You cursed yourself for not realizing. These people had been freezing all night - and it was your fault. Hastily, with Petra sluggishly watching your every move, you built a small fire using the matches that you had found in Gunther's bag. You laid them around it in a square so that they'd all get warmer, and as a second thought, you cut some new saplings down and threw them across the flames. 

Then, you sat by Petra and rubbed her fingers using your own, massaging the iciness away from them. She only watched you, but you saw her lips begin to quiver with cold. You systematically rotated your services around, massaging their hands, their feet and their arms. Gunther and Eld woke up, and you urged them to stay still as you continued to care for them.

An hour of care later, hooves could be heard approaching. Petra's eyes lit up and Oluo woke up, looking around in bewilderment. “How did they know where we were?” She asked, eagerly waiting for the horses to arrive. You pointed at the fire, where the green wood you had burnt was producing copious amounts of smoke in an upwards spiral. 

Seven horses arrived, all bearing the official Survey Corps emblem of two wings, one blue and one white. The people on top all ran towards you, medically assessing the four's situation and gently pulling them over the horses. Petra tapped one of these people on the shoulder and whispered to them, and you thought that it was out of concern for Oluo, who she looked at with worry. 

But that wasn't the case as they turned around and all seven of them grabbed at you, holding your limbs still as they chained your wrists and ankles together. You tried to bite them, to fight them away, but their combined strength and size made it impossible - there was nowhere to run to. 

“Y/N L/N, after an order from the Special Operations, you are to be arrested.”

You hated this school.

You really, really hated this school.

After cutting yourself deliberately on the official's knives and waving a bleeding hand in their faces, they had resorted to semi-carrying, semi-dragging you around the grounds and school. Petra and the others didn't dare turn around, which you supposed was lucky... for them. If looks could kill right now, Petra, you'd be dead. You thought at her, hoping that she could sense your hatred. You were just trying to help, for Titan's sake! You untied them and cared for them so that they didn't die!

Although you had tied them up in the first place.

You weren't going to just let them take you that easily- like you'd even think about that - and so you made a point of tripping and falling over the smallest roots, smearing the blood from your wound everywhere that you could; that included the path, the trees and the uniform of the officials. Even as you went inside the main manor house, you didn't stop leaving blood marks everywhere.

After carting the four idiotic second years to the infirmary, the officials had carried you - kicking and screaming - through the library. At first, you were confused, until they reached behind one of the smaller shelves and revealed a door leading to a downward spiral of stairs. After making as much noise as you possibly could, you allowed yourself to be taken a bit more easily - if only because you were getting bored of the constant snarling that the officials gave out. You were lead to a dungeon, which had caged cells at either side of the narrow corridor and moss growing out of the cracks in the walls. After being thrown unceremoniously inside a cell and nearly landing on your face, you snarled back at them as they jeered and locked you inside. Twisting your body so that you were sitting more comfortably, you move your arms underneath your legs so that they were now chained in front of you and you could easily see what you were doing. 

The lock was simple. After you dug around in your boot, where the officials hadn't bothered to look, you drew out an ordinary hairpin and started to dig within the lock, twisting and prodding until it fell free, freeing your wrists and falling to the floor. You sighed in happiness before moving quickly onto freeing your ankles. 

Not even a minute afterwards, you were standing up and stretching within your cell. It was only then that you looked into the cell opposite and froze.

A man sat there, looking at you with gleaming eyes. He was chained to the wall but he wasn't fighting it, so he was just sitting there with his wrists over his head. His hair was cropped close to his head, and it was lanky and brown in such a way that you knew it hadn't been washed in a while. You walked towards your bars, looking more closely at him. 

He watched your every move with such a hunger - but his eyes weren't on yours. They were on your body.

It felt like a cold stone had slipped into your stomach - he was a titan. Even now, as he grinned at your legs, you could see that his teeth had been sharpened in the way that a titan's were - which made them ideal for snapping into human flesh. 

You shut your mouth and backed away until your back hit the cell's wall. The titan's eyes gleamed more, and he actually drooled down his chin as he leaned forwards to watch you, watch the way that your muscled and lean body moved... Oh god. He opened his mouth and rasped a few words. “Are you my next meal, little girl?”

“What?” You whispered. You hated watching him, watching the way that he was watching you.

“Just wondering. I'm hungry.”

“So am I, but I don't go around eating people.” You snapped, shocked at the fact that you were talking to this disgusting creature. He giggled, never taking his eyes off you.

“No, you just go around killing them. That's wasting good meat, that is.”

You froze. “What,” you whispered, “did you just say?”

“I know what this place is,” the titan leered, picking at his teeth with a finger. “This is an assassination school. How can you lecture me about killing when that's all you do, little girl?”

“Because it's you that we kill!” You say, with the calm threatening to overtake you. “We have to stop you from killing the innocents.”

“Who are you to decide who the innocents are, little girl? Are you God? Are you the devil? No, you're not. So who are you to judge?”

“I am not God,” you tell him, and you pick your locked cell door with just the right angle and force with the hairpin so that it clicks open. The titan's eyes now hold a bit of fear as you approach his cell, and do the same to his door. It opens and you take one step in. “I am no God,” you repeat as you near him. You're so close now that he begins salivating again, and you can smell his putrid scent as you near him. “But I have enough experience with the vile creatures of this earth to know exactly how to send you to a place where you will be judged.”

“You wouldn't dare kill me. But you smell so good - I can sense the heat of your flesh - come on, little girl... I'm starving.”

“It's funny,” you say softly, your vision steadily turning red, “that you can think about killing me when I'm about to kill you.”

“But you wouldn't dare, little girl - I've already told –“

You cut him off by shoving the small and poisonous blade that you kept in the sole of your boot in between his ribs - and twisting. “Why do people always say that I wouldn’t dare? I am Y/N L/N – you can give the Devil my regards, filthy creature. Tell him that I will soon be sending him a lot more filth his way, and that he should get ready.”  
His eyes sparked as he heard your words, and for a moment, fear flashed through his eyes. And then he died.

You watched the light fade from those horrible eyes as you step out of his cell and click it closed. You then look up and down the corridor, and you run to the door that you had come through - locked. You pressed your ear to the door and if you really strained, you could hear the official's laughter on the other side; there was no getting out from this way. 

A hand grabbed your shirt and after a millisecond of shock, you twirled around to see the owner of the hand through the bars of the other cells. You were so busy making life hell for the officials that you hadn't realized that there were other people in the cells.

But then you recognized them, and realized that they weren't people.

The titans that had been outside the gate that one day, the day that you had beaten all of them, and watched the carts being stacked with their immobilized bodies... You had thought that they had just been carted far away. But no - they were all here.

And they were all staring at you with open mouths that drooled down onto their ruined clothes, their eyes sunken in and looking at your body with a greed that disgusted you. You didn't want to touch them, and so you ran past all of the cells towards the other end of the corridor, which was illuminated by the candles within the lanterns that were bolted into the stone walls. A faint dripping sound was echoing around, breaking the eerie silence of the prisons, distracting you from the laboured breaths of the titans around you.

“Girl - the little girl?”

You didn't reach the other end fast enough, and the titan man looked at you with something like reverence in his otherwise dead eyes. “You recognize me?”

“You're the thing who put all of us in here,” he spat, clawing at his bars. You saw the other titans in the same cell with him, all watching with interest. “Of course we'd remember you.” You waved at him before moving on, not wanting to kill all of them; it had been easy on the field, where they had no weapons and there was so much space. In these close quarters, with them steadily getting more and more desperate due to hunger, you didn’t exactly like your chances. 

But the creak of a cage caused you to turn around too late, to see all of the titans within that one cell pour out like starving creatures, clawing the walls and floors in order to get to you quickly. You staggered back, running towards the other end of the corridor in a rush that was roaring in your ears - or maybe that was the titans who were now eager for the hunt, eager for your blood. You had blindly trusted that the door wouldn't open, that they weren't smart enough to open it with just what was in their cell; that mistake may just have cost you your life.

You approached the end, which was just another corridor perpendicular to the one that you were in. Left or right? You didn't have any time to think about your options, so you just kept running and took the left corridor, not wanting to stop over something so stupid. The titans were right on your heels, and their constant laughing and growling sent shivers down your spine, down your neck and arms.

You were frightened. In these cramped conditions, you were at a disadvantage - with no weapons against at least ten male titans, all ready to tear into your skin, you weren't sure that you'd win. You had seen the gleam of desperation in their eyes... They knew that they were on their last few days if they didn't get you, if they didn't reach you in time. It was highly unlikely that you could win against that deadly desperation.

You were flying past more cells, incapable of wasting the energy to look at the faces within. You heard them yelling, of course, and saw skeletal fingers clawing around bars, but other than that, they just remained a blur of the scenery as the adrenaline took charge in your veins, fizzing the energy around your legs and your head.

The prison was a matrix of tunnels turning left and right, with stairs at every other turn leading down or up; it was a terrifying maze of darkness and random faces that looked at you with excitement. 

Pulling ahead of the titans chasing you was easier once your legs had stopped shaking and had just run faster. You turned randomly, forgetting about trying to keep track of your surroundings and focusing solely on staying alive. Turning around another corner and finding a staircase leading upwards lifted your spirits as well as your body as you gladly took it three steps at a time. 

But you tripped on the last stair, the stone cold floor rushing to meet your face. You threw your hands up to protect your head, smacking into it with a collision that jumped your entire body. Your knees and arms suffered the worst damage, drawing a few tears into your eyes as you stayed still for only a moment. Listening for the titans that would surely pounce on you at any moment, you heard only a few voices in the background, disjointed and distorted as the echoes mimicked the original voices. 

“Have you got her?”

“No, boss! She's fast!”

“We knew that already, moron! Hurry up and find her!”

“Only if I can have her legs!”

“No! I wanted her lean legs! Imagine the muscle meat on those...”

“Boss, where is she? Wait, where are you?”

“We're lost, dammit!”

Not wanting to hear anymore, you looked around where you were and saw only more cells. They were empty though, so you felt better as you slowly and painfully lifted yourself up from the floor. You stumbled through this corridor, trying to keep as silent as possible. But your knees shook so much that you fell against the bars for support, gripping the strong iron so hard that your knuckles were lightening their normal colour by several shades.

“W-what are you?”

A deep, hoarse voice asked you from the shadows of the cell, making you fall in shock. You watched as the man walked forwards from the shadows, the flickering light from the candles slowly illuminating his features. Then you realized that he wasn't yet a man, but rather a boy who had been forced to grow up too soon. And worse - you knew him.

He was still wearing the school's uniform, which had been torn and dirtied so much that you almost couldn't recognize the white colour of the trousers. But he was in the prison cell, with a bleeding lip and cuffed wrists - what had he done?

“I'm human,” you answered his question lightly, not wanting to scare him. “And I'm not a titan.”

“Good,” he breathed, sinking back into the shadows. “Are you a student?”

“Yes,” you answered, sitting carefully up so that you weren't too dizzy or your knees weren't aching. The boy then shrieked with a gusto that startled you out of your skin. You leaped back onto your haunches, hitting your head on the bars behind you and suddenly, everything became murky and slow moving.

You saw the light of the candles blur together into a long line of line, which the dark patches at the edges of your vision were creeping forward to claim. The figure of the boy was at his bars, and he was still shrieking with a volume that was claiming all of your attention - no matter what you were thinking, the screams were a part of it. 

You couldn't move, and even if you could then it would be slow and painful - you must have hit your head really hard on the metal bars of the cell. 

“W-why?” You groggily whispered, knowing that the boy knew about the titans trying to find you. With the racket that he was making, they'd find you soon. And you couldn't do anything about it.

“I know who you are, Y/N L/N. And you have no clue who I am, do you? Am I not worth the attention of famous Pride?”

“W-what are you talking about?” You whisper, fighting the black that was creeping into your vision. You began to try to get up, using anything and everything around you in order to get yourself up. 

“I am a student that had to commit the murder on Friday, two weeks ago. You and your wretched team just had to come and tell everyone that it was me. And don't tell me that it wasn't you, because everyone knows that it was the Seven Deadly Sins who guessed my name.”

Your world threatened to tip over. 

“And now I am stuck here in this prison, and I have no idea what my fate is anymore! I am not in control! I have no future anymore! I'm as good as dead! AND THAT IS BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR DAMNED PRIDE! So I will scream and yell until your death comes to reach you, so that maybe future students will have a chance at the future that was taken away from me.”

Had everyone that you had guessed over this year suffered this fate? You remembered this boy – how the burns on his palms had given him away. You remembered how his girlfriend looked at everything with no sense of life, not caring about anything anymore. And you remembered his name – Franz Kefka.

You felt sick to your stomach, the unpleasant sluggish feeling numbing your movements in your legs. Tears threatened to spill as you reached up to your hair.

But then-

“Hello, little girl.”

“Thought you could run, did you?”

Hands reached out and pulled you closer, and snarling overtakes your hearing. You throw something to the boy in the cell, hoping that it would reach him, throwing away the sole thing that you had left to you and giving it to someone else.

It was the hairpin that was now in the hands of the boy. You could have used it as a weapon, you knew, and shoved it through flesh and bone in order to escape. But you had given it to him, to give him a fighting chance to reach his future. It was a stupid thing, you thought, to care irrationally for others. But when you saw him screaming for pure vengeance, something had broken inside of your heart.

The male titan leader snarled at the others, showing off his dominance, showing his sharp teeth to any that opposed him. You couldn't move from where you had been dragged to the floor, your strength seeping out of your bones the longer that you lay there on the stone floor. You felt warmth on your face and knew that it was your blood that was trickling down your face from where you had hit your head on the bars. 

Then, arms were sliding underneath your body, and hands gripped your skin. You cried out as the nails dug into your flesh, arching your back to get rid of the grip at your back and legs. But then the arms lifted you from the floor and you stopped moving, the energy that you desperately needed failing you.

“It's alright, little girl. I like to have my meat alive while I eat it. But you're going to wish that I killed you here and now, I'm warning you.”

So you only watched as the corridor started to change into the walls of a cell, and the leader growled at the rest of his group to leave and free the others. He turned and you felt his eyes rove over your body, and a single tear leaked from your eyes as he stalked closer. He was going to eat you right now.

You were going to die.


	9. Chapter 9 - The Prison

It was almost funny.

Even though a tear was still dancing down your cheeks to meet with the cool ground, and your blood was still weakly fizzing in your veins, you didn't feel sad.

Maybe you were a little afraid, because no one ever liked pain - and maybe a little disappointed, because you would never get to see Isabel or your team again. You'd never get to hear one of Sasha's bad jokes, or share Connie's snacks. Reiner and Bertoldt would never get to hoist you up on their shoulders like they always did, and Annie would never try to beat you in swordplay again. And you'd never tell Isabel how much she meant to you, or that she was the reason that you went out to identify murderers every Friday.

And you'd never get to prove to Levi that you were better.

There was just something about him, you thought, that made him so irritatingly present in any situation. Even if he didn't say anything, he commanded everyone's attention. That was the reason you were always so aware of where he was, or how far away he was from you... That was obviously the only reason.

So you forced yourself to think of your friends as the titan loomed over you sat next to you. He lifted your head into his arms and tilted it back, his eyes on your neck. “Those fools,” he sniggered, caressing your cheeks with his fingers. “They all want your legs, but me... I want your neck.”

And so he unbuttoned the top button of your shirt to expose the entirety of your neck and collarbone, and you gritted your teeth and waited for the moment to snap your head up and whack your forehead into his jaw. Like hell you'd let him eat you without a fight. 

But you never got to whack him with your forehead, because the moment that his eyes rested on your collarbone, he gasped and threw you away from him, like you were nothing more than a doll, before he cowered in the corner of the cell, whimpering like a child who had been scolded. “Please, stay away from me...”

You lifted yourself slowly up onto your elbows, your body tossed onto the stone floor. Your head had stopped ringing, and though your knees shook as they struggled to lift you onto your feet, they still held you. Keeping a hand on the wall in case your legs gave up on you, you looked at the whimpering man in the corner. “What? Weren't you going to eat me?”

“No! No, of course I wasn't! You must believe me; I didn't know that you were theirs! I didn't, I swear!”

“Wait - what?”

“Your tattoo! I didn't know that you belonged to them! I wouldn't have touched you if I had known!”

You look down at yourself, confusion making your head hurt more than before. But you got some of the answer immediately - on your collarbone was a small black tattoo, starkly obvious against the colour of your skin. It was a singular line that curved at the end and crossed back over itself many times, creating an irregular shape that twisted without reason or pattern. “W-what is this? How did it get here?” You mumbled to yourself. You had never seen this mark before - how long had it been there?!

“It's their mark! It means that you're their property!”

“I am no one's property!” You snarl at him, making him duck his head in a frightened shrug. “Now, how do I get out of here?”

“I don't know,” he said, looking at you with fear and desire, “do you think that if I knew that, I'd still be here?”

“You're disgusting.” You tell him. “If I had a weapon, I'd kill you right here in penance for what you were about to do to me.”

“But you don't have a weapon,” he said, hope flaring in his eyes as he began inching towards the door. “So - you can't kill me?”

You whip out with an arm, catching him right in the temple. “I can kill you without a weapon,” you say as he crumples. The blow wasn't strong enough to kill him, but it was enough to send him asleep for quite a long time. “Mostly because I am a weapon myself.”

You step back out into the corridor - bad mistake. The titans that the leader had sent away were no more than a few meters away, eyes gleaming and mouths already open in a snarl. You took off, flying down the other way as you again heard the mad scrabble of titans running after you. They didn't know about your tattoo - and you didn't think that they'd wait long enough to find out.

Your legs were already trembling, and this time fear took a hold of you. You couldn't run like this, you were already out of stamina and energy from the multiple injuries to your head and legs. The titans were so close behind you, and the sheer number of them was enough to ensure that your death would be neither quick nor pleasant. Breathing was a chore for you, and it came in short and gasping wheezes. You were going to die, and this time you didn't want it to happen. So you sent a scream rushing down the corridor, knowing that it was the last sound that you'd ever make, knowing that the fury and fear was evident in every second that the scream lasted. And it lasted a while, with it echoing and bouncing of the walls, amplifying the sound so that it sounded a hundred times worse. 

Just as you were about to fall, your legs giving up, a shadow whipped out in front of you - the flash of silver blades already dancing in the shadow's hands. You turned and watched the shadow fly towards the titans, and then blood was flying everywhere.

“Get away from her!”

You closed your eyes, wobbling on your legs as you heard the familiar sound of swords slicing through the obstacles. It lasted only a while, before the shrieks of the titans were silenced and the only thing that could be heard was the panting of the shadow. Opening your eyes and allowing them to take in the scene in front of you, you couldn't help but to be amazed.

Levi's back was facing you as he was facing the remains of the titans in front of him. His body was splashed in blood that wasn't his own, and his two swords were hung down by his sides were dripping in crimson liquid. His chest rose and fell, and he turned his head to look at you with grey eyes that were dark and shrouded in emotion. “You have no idea how much you worried me, brat.”

You laughed, a tired and panting sound, and your legs decided that they simply could not hold you anymore. The floor flashed up to meet you, and you could only watch as it came closer...

But Levi's arms caught you before you could connect with the floor, and you curled into the warmth of his chest. You hadn't realized that you were cold, but as Levi's hands lifted your back and legs, you knew that your shivering wasn't entirely due to the adrenaline. He lifted you easily and started walking through the corridors, and you closed your eyes and began to try to calm your breathing. Your head was being cuddled to his chest, and so you could hear the steady beating of his heart.

“Do I dare ask why the hell you're in prison?”

“I was arrested,” you mutter.

“How the hell did you get yourself arrested?”

“I helped the wrong people, that's how,” you growled, and you felt Levi's laughter through the vibrations in his chest. A silence stretched between you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. You allowed Levi to enjoy the silence before breaking it with a question. “How did you find me?”

Levi didn’t answer for a while. “I went looking for you after Isabel found that you were missing. You've got your team and mine looking everywhere for you, you know that?”

You smiled, much to Levi’s ire. “That's nice. But how did you know that I was in prison?”

“I saw blood everywhere in the grounds.” You grinned wider - you had deliberately cut your hand on the guard's swords and left the trail everywhere with this objective in mind. “And so I followed it, and I ended up here. I heard titans running after something...” At this, Levi's eyes darkened with a memory that he wanted to forget. “And I heard a scream.”

“I didn't plan for anyone to hear it,” you groaned as you blushed; you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed that Levi would hear that weak sound from you, “I thought that I was going to die.”

“Aren't you Y/N L/N? The best assassin of all?”

You fell silent, remembering the number of titans and all of the choices that you had made. “I'm alive, aren't I?”

“Thanks to me.”

“No, even the fact that you are here is because of me and my choices,” you told him, and you again shut up as Levi approached a door. He kicked it open, and the guards on the other side leaped to attention. It was at this moment that you were thankful for the fact that because Levi was on Petra's team, he too was part of the Special Operations. He had the authority to get you out of here.

Levi placed you carefully in a chair at the base of the stairs, which would lead back up to the secret door in the library. You went readily into the stable seat, and watched as he stood in front of the seven officials that had carted you into prison, and started laughing to yourself at the drastic height difference between Levi and them.

“Tch, do you recognize this girl?” Levi asked them, and their eyes flickered towards you with hate before meeting his again. They all nodded, and Levi stepped forward and slapped them all in the faces. If you were shocked, it was nothing compared to the officials. None of them made a sound, but their facial expressions were ones that would probably make you laugh in the future. “Good. Then you can make sure that none of you ever touch her again.”

And he picked you back up and carried you all of the way to the library. He opened the secret door and stepped out, and you squinted in the sudden light as he looked at you and gasped. “Damn,” he said, and you realized that you must have looked a mess, with your own blood matting your hair/hijab and multiple cuts on your face and arms. Then your knees were a bleeding mess, and your nails had several layers of dirt and grime under them.

“I forgot,” you sighed as Levi set you down onto your own two feet. “I'm sorry.”

Levi looked at you incredulously, as though he were evaluating your sanity. “For what?”

“For getting you dirty. I forgot that you were a clean freak,” you told him, sincerity ringing through your tone. He looked down at himself with shock, and you almost giggled at the sight of the murderous look on his face - almost. Your ribs had started to ache with such intensity that you weren't sure that you could manage laughter. 

So you began walking - slow, but still steady - towards the infirmary. Or you would have, if at that precise moment the people that you loved hadn't of opened the doors before you.

“-can't understand where she could be!” Isabel said, and your heart broke at the sound of her cracked voice. Her eyes were red, and that's all you saw before she saw you and threw herself at you.

But Levi's arm circled her middle and he heaved her away. “Calm down, and don't touch her. She's hurt.”

“Y/N!!!” Multiple people's voices yelled. You registered Farlan, Hanji and Erwin all looking at Levi with the same expression of disdain before gaping at you, and then Jean yelled as he and Marco also entered the room. He ran towards you, relief evident in his face before Levi stepped in front of him. You couldn't see the face that Levi was making, but based upon the fear on Marco and Jean's faces, it must have been bad.

Eren, Mikasa and Armin were just behind them, and Mikasa and Armin both had to grab Eren's arms to stop him flying into you after seeing the death glare that Levi was emitting in his general direction.

Reiner and Bertoldt approached you, ignoring the glare that Levi was sending their way. Reiner took one look at you before he nodded at Bertoldt, and both of them picked you up between them and slowly walked with you towards the infirmary. Sasha and Connie walked in front, ushering people out of the way and opening doors for you all, gushing about how Sasha had brought you loads of food. Reiner and Bertoldt had stony expressions that told you that they were going to murder the person who had caused you to be in such a mess, and you felt flattered as well as slightly afraid. Annie was just in front of you, snarling at everyone who dared look at you in any way that she didn't like - which was basically every way. 

Behind you were Marco, Jean, Armin, Mikasa and Eren. You couldn't focus on their conversation too much due to their muttering, but the few sentences you did catch alarmed you slightly.

“Who?”

“I have no idea, but I'll murder them.”

“No, you won't, Eren. Y/N doesn't need protection.”

“She does in that state! I've never seen her like this!”

“Calm down, Jean.”

Behind them were Levi, Hanji, Erwin, Farlan and Isabel. You could feel Levi's gaze on you, but at this point you didn't mind too much. He was just protecting you... And you liked the feeling of being protected. Farlan and Isabel were asking constant questions about you and your status, but you didn't hear Levi answer anything. 

You reached the infirmary, and once Sasha and Connie had pulled the heavy double doors open for the entire party, you all trooped through. There were a few beds that were furthest away from you that were all cloaked with a curtain, but you didn't have the opportunity to see anything else before the new nurse took one look at you and pointed the nearest bed. Hanji rushed to help her, pulling out a white lab coat from somewhere that you didn't exactly want to know about. Reiner and Bertoldt placed you gingerly onto the cotton sheets and backed away, crossing their arms and watching you like vultures, grabbing Sasha and Connie by their collars and pulling them slightly away from your head so that you could breath. 

The trio that you had rescued sat on the bed next to you with Eren in the middle, all looking at you with worry that made you smile. Jean and Marco were standing at the foot of your bed, Marco smiling at you in such a way that your heart melted. You didn't like to see Jean look at you like he was, though, with such worry that he looked like a puppy. So you watched Erwin join Reiner and Bertoldt in the art of crossing his arms and looking scary as Farlan, Isabel and Levi stood right next to your bed.

Hanji and the nurse stood over you and assessed your injuries, but you didn't look at them too much. You were too busy talking and laughing with all of the friends that surrounded your bed. Soon, they all knew what had happened to you - minus a few details. You had buttoned up your shirt to hide the tattoo, because you weren't sure yourself that you knew what it was yet. 

Once everything had been bandaged - you had refused the pain medicines because they made you too drowsy - and you had been allowed to sit up, everyone started eating the copious amounts of food that Sasha had brought.

“I wanted to have a picnic once we'd found you,” she'd informed you through a mouth full of food, “and so I packed extra.”

You had moved over in your bed so that Isabel could lie next to you, with Farlan sitting at the foot of your bed with his legs crossed. Levi and Erwin had both borrowed chairs and were sitting next to you, talking seriously to each other whilst munching on apples and crisps. Reiner, Bertoldt and Annie had calmed down now and were all on the floor in a circle along with the trio and Marco and Jean, all playing a weird version of a truth telling game. 

Ymir and Krista had somehow heard where you were and were also taking part, after they had both hugged you gently. Krista had brought you flowers, and so they were now in a vase on the small table next to your head. 

But when the pale afternoon sun had begun to sink, the nurse went to the other end of the infirmary, where the beds were hidden behind curtains. 

After a few minutes, during which you managed to eat some food, the people that were behind the curtain emerged. 

Petra, Eld, Oluo and Gunther all looked fine, but as soon as they saw you on the bed, the colour that you had worked hard to regain early that morning drained out of their faces. You would have snarled, but everything about your body hurt, and you could hardly move.

It was almost funny.

You were the best assassin of the first years, but the moment that you actually wanted to kill someone, you didn't have the strength.

***

The liveliness of the little picnic quieted down once everyone caught up with the tension between you and the team across the infirmary.

Your party were looking on in confusion, because somehow you had managed to leave out the small detail of how exactly you got arrested in the first place. You had told Levi that you were there because you had helped the wrong people, and though you knew that he had suspected something more, he hadn't pressed you for more information. Even his eyebrows were furrowed; it was a frown of confusion rather than his signature bored one.

There were just two people that didn't look confused, and you weren't surprised to see both Armin and Erwin looking at you with slightly amused faces. You didn't know how they had guessed that somehow you and Petra were linked, but their bright blue eyes showed no confusion; only cold calculation.

“Erm,” Petra mumbled, smiling and waving at your friends, keeping her eyes very carefully away from yours. “Sorry to disturb you guys, we didn't mean to.” 

“Sorry,” Eld nodded his head to all of you, keeping his eyes on the floor. All four grinned at Levi with something akin to relief and exasperation, but he was too busy glaring at them all to notice. 

“What are you all in the infirmary for?” He asked, crossing his arms. You made a move to stand up, but Jean and Marco both leaped up and pinned you gently back down.

“Stay there, Y/N,” Marco whispered, keeping low and out of the way between the glaring battle between Levi and the Special Operations Squad. 

Jean nodded and began idly stroking your sheets. “Marco's right, we don't want you to injure yourself again.”

Despite their soothing words, you didn't focus on them at all and listened harder to Oluo's sarcastic response.

“Oh, don't worry. We spent the entire night in the raining forest because somebody didn't come back to us, like we had planned.”

Levi’s nose flared in supressed anger, and you watched this with fascination. Erwin, too, raised a thick eyebrow and stepped forward slightly, as if he were reminding Levi that he was there. Levi took no notice of this, however, as he replied in an equally sarcastic tone. “Tch. I was having no part in that plan, and I told you as much.”

Erwin nodded and joined in the discussion. “And I didn't see any of you coming to talk to me about this plan. And I, in case you've forgotten, am the student head of Survey Corps. Levi told me about it and I promptly ordered him to abandon his side of it.”

You would have fallen out of your bed if Jean wasn't holding your arm. Erwin was the student head of Survey Corps? You had known that he was smart and powerful from the first time that you'd seen him, but to be head of the entire establishment was something on an entirely different level. He had the power to kick you out, to employ other people... He was on par with Dot Pixis, the headmaster. He outranked the teachers, the Special Operations squad... On second thought, he had probably formed the SOs, being the student head... 

Your shock was mirrored on your first year friend's faces; even Annie had to blink in amazement before falling back into her usual frozen frown. The second years, however, looked like there was nothing new to this news. “Oh,” you groaned as you remembered your first meeting with Erwin and what you'd said to him: 'Keep up, second years. There's no point in your existence if I'm the ickle first year who can beat you at this game. Might as well give up now.'

You had said that to him! AND HE WAS THE STUDENT HEAD! 

Honestly, you were cringing from embarrassment right now. However, Jean took one look at your constricted face as soon as you had groaned and was immediately set back into fussing mode. Levi half-turned towards you, his grey eyes seeking out your E/C ones, but as soon as Petra started talking he flicked his gaze back to her.

Farlan sat right next to your body with a cool cloth, and he pressed it lightly down onto your forehead. You sighed at the delicious coolness of the water, and arched your back at the small pleasure that the cold gave you. The boy smiled at your reaction and gently began bathing your face and arms with the cool water, whilst Isabel had sat up and was watching the discussion with an intensiveness that shocked you.

“-No, sir, we didn't forget. But we didn't think that it was worth any of your time, a matter this small...”

“But the matter was still big enough that you would try to employ Levi? Levi is my second, and you know this well. Why would you employ him without telling me?”

“Sir, we spent an entire night suffering in the rain and cold,” Oluo raised his voice to be heard over the pleading tone of Petra. “And that was because of this brat here! So stop telling us off and start with her.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, and you could see the rest of your team do the same. Annie stood up and marched up to him, anger dancing in her eyes. “Listen to me,” she ordered with a quiet rage, “you had no right to kidnap two of our friends for your pathetic scheme. And Y/N thought that you'd be set free soon, and I heard her promise to come back to rescue you this morning if that failed.”

“Stop it, you guys. She did come to save us this morning, which Gunther and I appreciate.” Eld gave his input, but then realized the mistake that he had made two seconds afterwards. Reiner and Bertoldt joined Annie from where she stood in front of them.

“So she came and freed you this morning, did she?” Reiner growled, understanding and rage lighting his eyes. For a brief moment, chills went down your spine at the animalistic rage that he projected through his glare.

“Y-yes.” Gunther said, holding his head up high and meeting that hungry gaze fully head on. 

“So you wouldn't happen to know how Y/N san got arrested, would you, Miss Ral?” Armin said, smiling at Petra with an icy cold in his blue eyes. You cursed yourself - damn, that kid's smart! It wasn’t as though you didn’t want to see the SOs go head to head with your own team – you did, very much – but this was your fight. Petra, however, didn’t seem to like fighting at all.

“Because I arrested her!” Petra said, tears starting to form in her amber eyes. Silence settled across all of you.

You froze and assessed the scene. If you thought that Reiner, Bertoldt and Annie had looked murderous before, you were wrong. This was a murderous look. Eren, Jean and Ymir joined in, and Eren rose to his feet along with Mikasa, who looked like she wanted a knife back in her hands so that she could run Petra through with it. 

Sasha and Connie had stopped eating and were baring their teeth in a feral rage. They were forming fists at their sides, and you knew that they were holding themselves back from punching the SO's lights out. Armin had lost his smile and was impassive, but from the way that his eyes followed Eren and Mikasa around you could tell that he was rooting for them to beat the team up.

Krista gasped, bringing her hands up to her face as she looked at you with a fond kind of pity. Isabel was just looking at you like she had seen you for the first time, with wide and shocked emerald eyes that held all kinds of emotion. Hanji was looping her arm through Erwin's, and although it seemed affectionate, you could see Erwin's muscles tightening and knew that the scientist was just lending him the strength to hold himself back. You hadn't known Erwin long, but the fact that he was angry on your behalf helped to make you feel better. 

But then there were the looks on Farlan and Levi's faces.

Their faces were in shadow, the way that you had always seen the dark and evil beings on the planet look like. If their eyes could have turned red, then this was the moment that they would have. Levi's lips were drawn back over his teeth, exposing white teeth that were gritted together in the way that wolves would snap their jaws closed over a piece of meat. Farlan wasn't making such a contorted face, but then he was standing up and walking towards Petra with the stumbling of a man who was either distressed or furious beyond measure.

“Do you have any idea,” Farlan whispered with his face full of fury, “what she went through in that prison because of you?”

“Yes,” Petra said, bowing her head, “we were listening to the entire story from our beds. I never thought that would happen, I swear. I was only trying to protect everyone from her! Think about it!” She insisted, wringing her hands. “A girl who is massively talented appears and doesn't have a file like everyone else in the school, what would you think?”

Oluo backed her up readily. “I'll say it. You'd think that she was a titan spy, or worse - an actual titan!”

Petra nodded gratefully to him. “Thank you. So I arrested her on the account that she could do dangerous things, and hurt a lot of people – hurt you!” She cried, looking at Levi. You raised your own eyebrow this time – the girl was in love with him, you reminded yourself. The girl, like many others, would naturally get jealous. Petra, despite the glower that Levi was giving her, carried on. “But I never meant to hurt her this badly.”

Isabel's nails dug into your arm, but you didn't cry out because you knew that she needed your strength to keep herself from flying at the ginger woman only a few meters away. “Well?!” Isabel yelled, a tear falling from her green eyes. 

“Well what?” Petra said, startled. Reiner let out a growl, and Connie and Eren both snarled in unison. Levi took one step towards her, and Erwin placed one hand on his shoulder, stopping him from going further.

“Well, what are you going to say?” Isabel shouted, anger dancing in her green eyes as she lifted her chin at Petra.

“What am I supposed to say?” Petra asked, confusion and sadness and guilt making her pretty face crumpling as she too started to cry. 

“Oh, I don't know,” Levi snarled, “maybe SORRY?”

“Levi,” you said, and he fell silent. “Everyone,” you amended, “don't worry. Petra isn't sorry for what she did, and I don't want her to lie to me. She did what she thought was right, and she shouldn't be sorry for that.”

Isabel and Farlan both caught your hands, and they both held them tightly as they reined themselves in. Levi fell back into his chair, breathing heavily but closing his eyes. Reiner and Annie didn't move, however.

“If I were you,” Reiner growled, “I'd get out now.”

“But –“ Petra said, her eyes pleading with yours.

“Just because Pride doesn't want to kill you, it does not mean that the rest of us don't,” Annie says smoothly, the threat rolling of her tongue. “Just so you know - her file isn't accessible to many because apparently the headmaster read it and was getting nightmares about it two months afterwards. So back off out of other people's business - especially Y/N's. Because there are several people here who would rather like to put you back into your place.”

Eren and Jean puffed their chests up, and Reiner and Bertoldt nodded in unison. Marco and the girls just stared stonily at the ginger girl and her team as though they had never seen them before.

Petra, with tears still rolling down her face, was tugged towards the doors by Oluo. Eld and Gunther hang back, however, and nod at Levi and Erwin before turning to you. “We couldn't do anything,” they said, “about Petra's decision to throw you in jail. But we're sorry all the same. If you ever need anything, we're in your debt.”

Erwin joined them in walking out of the door, smiling at you. “Goodbye, Y/N L/N. For the record, I never thought you were just an ickle first year.”

As you blushed, Krista and Ymir walked out with them, the former gushing about either how “they had never trusted that team in the first place” or that “if you ever have a problem, call us!” Ymir just nodded silently, but by the way that her hands were still fists at her sides told you that she definitely wasn't happy about something. 

Jean and Eren started to fight soon after, and so Mikasa and Armin had taken the hint about them getting restless and so dragged Eren away, quickly followed by a exasperated Marco who apologized profusely after gripping Jean's arm and steering him from the infirmary.

Annie, Bertoldt and Reiner were the next to go, dragging Sasha and Connie with them. “We need these two to hold us back from going after those...” Reiner had grumbled before stalking out. Annie stayed just a second longer, looking at you from where she stood at the door. Bertoldt touched her shoulder, and she flinched back into reality and walked out without a goodbye. But it didn't matter - not when she had said all that she had. You hadn't realized that she cared so much about you.

Hanji just appeared and disappeared at will, popping up randomly and taking your temperature. Levi would snarl from his seat at your side though, so she wouldn't stay very long.  
The four of you - Farlan, Levi, Isabel and you - would just sit in silence, watching as the shadows crept up behind the objects surrounding you, bringing the day to a close. It was a dull sunset, with clouds masking the vibrant jewels of colours that you knew were there beneath the surface. 

“So,” Levi started, a lazy grin creeping up onto his face, “would you like to tell us how the rutting hell Petra arrested you?”

“I tied her up yesterday because she and her team tried to kill me,” you stated, keeping your voice monotone and uninterested. “Then I went back this morning to check if they were there, and they were. So I untied them and kept their cold selves alive, signalling using smoke that I needed help. Once the officials came, I thought that it would be alright. But then Petra just felt the need to arrest me.”

“Why?”

You didn’t bother to hide the flash of exasperation that Isabel’s blunt question caused to appear. “I don't know, Isabel. Maybe she just had the 'oh, I need to arrest Y/N' urge.”

Isabel’s eyes flared with attitude and a reminder that she would not take any sort of rubbish from you. “Ah, yes. I've had that a lot recently,” Isabel stated, sighing. 

“I can't believe that she'd do that,” Farlan mused. “She's always been caring and sweet, especially towards –“

“It's because she's caring that she's done this,” Levi interrupted, cutting Farlan off mid-sentence. “I can understand where she's coming from... Even if I don't want to.”

You nodded, lying back on your bed. “I can too, but I'll still be mad at her for it.”

“I will too,” Levi said, his eyes beginning to glow with a murderer's wrath. “She has no idea what she put me through...”

“I think that you're getting confused, Aniki,” Isabel said, yawning. “It was Y/N that was arrested and thrown into a titan-infested prison, not you.”

“No, but I had to get into that titan-infested pit to save her. I got dirt on my clothes.”

“And that was hard for you? I saw your face this morning, Aniki, and I have never seen you quite so worried before –“

Levi hit her in the stomach so that she began coughing and laughing so that she ended up on the floor, gasping for air. Farlan groaned at Levi, and after the shorter man gave him the filthiest look that you had ever seen, Farlan stooped and lifted Isabel into his arms before walking out, yelling out a goodbye.

Levi turned to follow them, but you gripped his shirt sleeve almost without thinking.

“Thank you,” you blurted, and then you dropped his sleeve and turned over, allowing your H/C hair to mask your face. 

You could have sworn he breathed a laugh before he closed the double doors behind him.

***

You woke up early the next morning, the foreign bed uncomfortable and stiff. The freshness of the room was alien to you, with your room normally smelling like lemon sherbets. But you still heaved yourself up, ignoring the clock showing you that it was roughly five in the morning. 

Your knees still trembled at your weight, but you forced yourself to walk up and down the infirmary several times - you just needed to get back to your health before the prison incident. After that, you stalked into the bathroom that was attached to the infirmary and washed yourself, going carefully under the bandages and rinsing your hair. Getting dressed into a plain set of clothes - black leggings and a f/c tank top - you shoved your feet into trainers and went quietly out of the door. 

You didn't stop until you were outside, the darkness around you calming you down. A faint light could be seen over the horizon, and you knew that soon the sun would be far up high - but with the humidity of the air, you wouldn't be surprised if it rained. 

Taking off in a slow run down the sand path, you forced yourself to go faster and to control your breathing. Immediately, your mind slipped into the easy routine of just running by following the path all of the way around the school. You were probably able to run this route in your sleep. You allowed the wind to chill your limbs, forcing yourself to go faster so that they'd warm up.

“Isn't it a bit early for you to be out of the infirmary?”

Erwin was just behind you, his footsteps heavy and loud against the sand track. You dropped back to allow him to catch up, and you two jogged on at the same pace. “It probably is,” you said, lightly shaking your head, “but I can't just lie there. I have to do something.”

“I knew that was probably the case,” Erwin said, bobbing his head in time with his breathing. “You seem to be the type of person who always reaches further.”

“I just don't like boundaries,” you say, “because they're just obstacles placed by other people. Who cares about them? I care about my future and the future of humanity, so I'm not going to allow boundaries stop me from doing what I need to do.”

“Ah, yes. Your motive to be the best assassin... Why? With your skills, you could be a soldier instead. Soldiers fight on the front line, going to battles with the Titans. Assassins do the dirty and more taxing work, and have the far more dangerous job of going into the territory of the titans.”

“You sound like you've already decided your future.” You said, drawing the attention away from yourself. 

“My future was decided the moment I became student head,” Erwin agreed, “and so I knew from that day that I'd one day be the leader of the army. Imagine it - Erwin Smith, leader of the Survey Corps.”

“I don't need to imagine it... I'll be there on that day, and when it takes place and you stand on that stage, I'll salute you.”

“So are you planning to be an assassin?”

“Yes,” you answer. Seeing that Erwin was about to ask why, you oblige him and answer his question without him ever voicing it. “I will become an assassin for the same reason that you'll become the leader of the army - because the world needs me to.”

Erwin had nothing to say to that, and so you complete the rest of the run in compatible silence. Once you reach the main house, you wave goodbye to Erwin as he departed down the path that lead to the boy's Dorms.

You reach the girl's Dorms and smile at the familiar gold and blue furnishings. Sprinting upstairs and locking yourself in your room comforted you in the knowledge that you were independent and still able to be on your own. Readily jumping into the shower, you lose yourself in the hot water and steam and cleanliness. You just wanted to stay in the warmth forever... But then a bell ring shattered the silence, and Dot Pixis's voice rang out from speakers that were placed everywhere.

“All students will meet in the assembly hall in approximately thirty minutes in the appropriate attire."

Cursing the headmaster to hell, you shut off the water.


	10. Chapter 10 - The Garden

You fling open your door with five minutes to go, and you run out without looking first. Colliding with another person, you both squeal as you fall to the ground and clutch your heads. You didn’t even have the chance to glare at the person you collided with before she spoke to you with a scalding scorn.

“Gosh, Pride, do you think you can last one day without giving yourself head injuries?”

“Shut up,” you smile, and reach up to grab Isabel's waiting hand. You two run together towards the manor house without stopping, passing several slow people in the process. Skidding to a halt in the assembly hall with only two minutes to go, you give each other a high five and make your way into the wide and tall space.

To say that the room was big was an understatement - it was so vast that you could fit at least three swimming pools in here. It was tall as well, with full length windows that illuminated the well-painted walls. A stage was at the end opposite the heavy double doors that you and Isabel had just rushed through, and a single microphone was on it. All of the students were already there (apart from the last few stragglers who were just shuffling through the doors) and all of them had separated into their own friendship groups.

You and Isabel quickly found Jean and Marco, and the four of you amused yourself by attempting to play four-way rock, paper and scissors. You weren't exactly sure, but you think Marco won... But with Isabel and Jean (and you, but it's not like you'd admit it) constantly cheating, judging the winner became difficult. It wasn’t long until you all allowed your attention to wander.

“What do you reckon this is about?” Jean said, gesturing to the stage.

Marco shrugged. “You know as much as I do.'

“I hate to say it,” you shrugged, “but I know nothing either.”

“It’s the same here!” Isabel chorused, looking around with interest at all of the other students. Red, yellow and blue ties were everywhere, so you knew that all of the three years were present. “Although - I can't remember if we've ever had an assembly like this...” Isabel mused, pouting and rocking back on her heels.

“I can,” Marco said, “because it was at the start of the year. We were all totally unprepared for that assembly too.”

Oh, yes. Since Survey Corps's school year had started on a Saturday, it had given you the weekend to settle into your Dorm and to make friends. It also allowed any last minute students to arrive and join the school. You had been sitting at your window, watching the sun sink behind the tall walls and had already known the persona that you had to present to the rest of the school - terrifying, gifted and deadly. Then the bell had rung and the headmaster had told you all to go to the hall.

It was in this space that you were first told the rules of the game that took place every Friday; it was here that you were first told that your future was literally either kill or be killed. It was a harsh assembly, and many of the pupils that were present decided that being in Survey Corps weren't for them.

Of course, they couldn't do much about it. You were all orphans, victims to the titans with nowhere to run to and no home to hide in. There wasn't much that any of the pupils could do... Except make their choice between three organisations.

The most obvious and dangerous choice was to stay at Survey Corps and either become an assassin or a soldier at the end. Students could either choose to protect the walls of the school and the city, which was somewhere far off into the country where most of the remaining humans lived, or they could become personal guards to someone very important. 

Like the King of the land, or the royal family. 

You all had to stay at Survey Corps to complete three years of training to go either way, but then you had to make your choice about where to go.

You had chosen your future that day. You knew where you were going to go and what sacrifices were required - and you weren't willing to go back on yourself.

“I remember that assembly too,” you told Marco with a low tone, facing the front as Pixis walked onto the stage and approached the microphone.

“That's a shame,” he whispered roughly back, “because it was terrifying.”

“Hello, lovely students of Survey Corps,” Pixis called out, and you immediately groaned from the slurring of his words - he was drunk. “Thank you all for turning up on time. This year, there will be a school trip to the city, in which all three years will attend for three weeks. I wanted to warn you to keep up with your studies, because only those who are on target may be allowed to attend. I suggest you all train hard.”

Murmuring started creeping up throughout the space, and you met the wide eyes of Jean. He mouthed, ‘did you hear that?’

‘Of course I did, idiot!’ You rolled your eyes as you mouthed it back. ‘A school trip! That's going to be frightening.’

Jean rolled his own eyes with twice the amount of dramatics as he replied. ‘Nothing is really frightening to you, is it?’

“Also, to aid your revision and studying, I have devised a partnership scheme. You will each receive a partner to study with and to attend the trip with; they may be used to tutor each other or to introduce a friendship that may be useful in the future. If you wish to see who your partner for the next year will be, the board outside the hall will inform you of their name. Dismissed!”

And with that, the headmaster wobbled his way off the stage and left you all to yourselves. Isabel only had a few seconds to collect herself before you grabbed hers and Marco's wrists as you dragged them both speedily outside before she remembered Jean's existence and grabbed him too. You four flew out and beat everyone else to the board, which had been covered as you had walked into the hall. Due to you coming in late, you were closest to the doors, which gave you a few seconds ahead of everyone else to scan the board - which took up the entirety of the wall - for your name, for your partner's name...

You found it.

Y/N L/N - Levi Ackerman

***

You didn't know why you were surprised to see his name next to yours. Of course you two would make the most formidable team... Of course he'd be with you.

Isabel followed you out of the manor building with Marco and Jean on her heels. “I can't believe I'm with her,” Isabel seethed, to which Jean and Marco wisely didn't ask. You walked towards the lake and sat down at the bench that you had before, where everyone had joined you. Jean took the seat next to you this time, showing that things were changing, morphing out of your control. Isabel sat at your feet and leaned against your legs with Marco doing the same to Jean.

“So I'm partnered with Annie,” Marco told you, slight fear stiffening his voice. “Any tips on how to survive?”

“None at all,” Isabel said, shaking her head. You began wailing a funeral dirge, in which Jean joined you with a mighty gusto. “I'm afraid you're going to die.”

Jean smirked. “I don't know the guy that I'm with... But I think that he's a third year, so it looks like I'll be getting a great tutor. Do you reckon he'll know all the answers to the tests that we do?”

“I wouldn't get your hopes up,” Isabel told him sourly, in a tone that alerted you to her seriousness.

“Who?” You asked her, but her gaze fell into a glare.

“A third year, like Jean,” she told you shortly, “and I don't like her. I've bumped into her in the corridors - literally walked into her - and she's never quite forgiven me. And I think we all know who you got, Pride,” she winked.

You blushed - you couldn't help it. “Don't start. We'll have to work together - without killing each other!”

“We all know how hard that's going to be, Y/N!” Hanji laughed from the trees, before she ran and skidded to a halt by your bench. Erwin followed in her wake, strolling along with his hands in his pockets. “Levi just swore and sulked away, so we came to hang out with you guys.”

Jean sidled a little closer to you as Eren neared and sat near the water's edge. Mikasa whispered to you before joining him. “We got each other – Eren and I.” You nodded as they stared out across the lake, with Armin hanging back a little bit. You had no idea why the tutor idea had surfaced, but there was no doubt that there was some kind of ulterior motive for it. Only a fool would partner you with Levi; a sad and desperate fool who wanted the world to end.

But you knew that Dot Pixis, whilst a drunk, was not that fool… Which meant that someone else had placed you together? “Yo, Erwin,” you called, making a few people jump. “Did you know about this tutor thing?”

Erwin’s eyes twinkled seriously as he walked slowly closer to you, leaving Hanji laughing at the fishes swimming at the very shallow edges of the lake. “Yes. In fact, I was the one who set everyone up.” Erwin murmured to you, making sure that no one else heard. His eyes flicked to Isabel, who was engrossed in trying to beat Jean in a thumb war, and slid back to meet your E/C eyes. He leaned in, trying to whisper something more, before another voice joined the rabble.

“Get away from her,” Levi snarled as he punched Erwin lightly on the arm. Erwin stood up immediately, looking as innocent as a puppy. But you knew that the puppy was much more like a wold that had teeth and claws of iron, hidden from Levi. If Erwin was a wolf, with claws and teeth but the intelligence to keep them hidden to his advantage, then Levi was a panther. He liked to stalk silently near his prey, keeping far and away from his prey. But Levi had claws just the same as Erwin, and you wondered which one would win in a fight. The wolf or the panther? 

“So,” Levi seethed, “what gave you the rutting idea of partnering her with me?”

Erwin shrugged. Had he been anyone else, you would have mentally started to plan their funeral. “I had my reasons.”

“I want to shove your reasons up your –“

“Aniki, you told me not to say bad things, so don’t you start.” Isabel interrupted, leaning back to she peered up to the youth that she called her brother. He snarled at her but backed down, stalking back the oak tree that was behind the bench and kicked it.

You winced at the sharp sound that the impact made before Erwin sat on your other side and looked out across the lake. “You'd better get prepared,” he told you, keeping his voice low against the chatter of your other friends. He read the silent question in your eyes and smiled. “The trip is just next week. Pixis wanted everyone to panic over the next week about getting the grades to see which ones could handle the pressure.”

“So why are you telling me to get ready?” You asked, joining him in looking out across the lake. “You know my grades are perfect, so you know that I won't be one of the ones worrying.”

“Oh, I wasn't inferring that about your grades.” Erwin grinned before standing up and dragging Hanji away from where she was talking crazily with Armin. “But your other friends may not be so fortunate.”

It was then that you remembered that Jean had failed several of his exams, and that Isabel was the worst one at maths in the entire school.

You cursed as you dragged your entire party back to the manor house, to the library. You didn't care about their tutors... At that moment, it was just you and them, and the knowledge that you needed to hammer into their heads to get them to accompany you on the trip. 

You didn't think of Levi.

You tried not to think of Levi.

And then you cursed, because no matter what you did, you couldn't keep him out of your mind.

Damn him.

***

“Can we just go now?”

“Come on, now you're being cruel.”

“Another equation!?”

You snapped your book shut, gaining terrified looks from the people around you. Since you had dragged Jean, Marco and Isabel to the library to study on the Sunday, you had been there every single evening in preparation to getting their grades up. You blinked - it was very late evening, with darkness creeping up with stealthy fingers only to be banished by the lanterns that were flickering with light. It was also Friday, but there wouldn't be the game on tonight due to the school trip that was due to take place on Monday. So you had told everyone to bring pillows and blankets to the library, where you would be doing an all-nighter with the idiots that were your friends.

Isabel was seated at the desk that ran throughout the library with a book open in front of her. Numerous pieces of paper were scattered around her head as she screwed each piece up as soon as she made a mistake. You had to constantly supply her with pencils, because as she was doing maths - her worst subject - she was prone to snapping them every time that she couldn't understand something. And that happened more times than you cared to admit. 

Jean and Marco were huddled beneath many pillows and blankets, which were illuminated by the lantern that you had placed by them. You had assigned each of them to test each other on English, and even you had to admit that they were getting good.

Numerous other first years had joined your camp in the library. Although your lack of mercy was well known, they knew that they needed your tutelage. Apparently, the entire tutor thing didn't come into effect until the school trip. So when Krista brought you all hot chocolate, it came as no surprise. She was studying for her catering grade, so regular meals were no problem because of her skills in the kitchen. However, her natural talent in science also lead you to push her near the aisle of healing and herbs, where she had been absorbed all of that day. You made sure she got regular breaks, but her thirst for knowledge about plants and healing proved difficult to fight against.

Reiner and Bertoldt were studying their Japanese and their science alone in a corner, and Eren and Connie came and went as they practiced their fighting skills outside with Shadis watching over them. Mikasa followed Eren around like a shadow, but Armin stayed by your side to help with teaching the rest of your friends everything else.

Ymir sucked at maths but was the best at English, you discovered, and Sasha had a surprising natural talent for history. Of course, that could have been because you had created analogies using food, saying nonsense such as, “and then the pineapple declared war on the potato chips.” She remembered everything, however, so something must have been working.

The librarian kept away, which was a wise choice because your daggers never left their sheaths at your hips. You whipped them out every now and again to provide everyone with a little motivation, allowing a murderous glint to come into your eyes every time you spotted Jean dozing or Sasha eating.

When the grandfather clock chimed midnight, you allowed yourself to stand up from your stupor. Stretching your cramped muscles, you walked around the library, which was eerily quiet.

You reached Reiner and Bertoldt, where they were using the books as pillows. You pulled a blanket around each of them and carefully maneuvered their heads so that you could slip a real pillow underneath their thick heads. Putting the lantern that was closest to them out, you allowed them to fall into a more comfortable sleep. Eren and Connie had long since passed out in a window seat, and so you just drew the long curtains to a close so that the moonlight would not disturb them and left them to their slumber.

One by one, you covered each of your friends with blankets and pillows and put their books away so that the librarian didn't feel too inclined to kill them all. After the library was filled with snores, you carefully opened one window after perching yourself in one of the most private window seats and gazed out to the grounds.

Moonlight touched everything and coated it with a silver sheen, making everything glimmer with a kind of magic. A cool breeze was making the newly grown leaves dance to the tune of the night, and the grass whispered all kinds of secrets to you. No birds sang - it was too late for that.

So you fell asleep to the song of the night and the stars.

***

Next thing you knew, your dagger was in your hand and you were slicing at everything.

Panic made your mind clear even though you had been asleep just a moment ago. You could feel everything: the wind as you sliced through it with your daggers, or your crinkled skirt from where it hung at the top of your thigh.

“STOP THAT!”

The command was roared from just a few meters away, and you realized that someone had grabbed your shoulder in order to wake you up... Foolish, foolish move. You managed to slow your attacks to a halt before you could even see who you were attacking.

Farlan was holding both hands up, with Levi in front of him with his arms raised over his head. You took one breath before you crumpled back down into your seat with a groan. “Why would you try to wake me up?” You asked Farlan, because Levi was still covering his face. 

“Because you weren't moving, and I panicked.”

“You're a fool,” you told him, settling back down into the pillows of the seat. But now that you had moved, you couldn't find the comfortable position you had been in when you had fallen asleep. Watching you wriggle, Farlan began smiling. “What's with you, Levi?” Levi had turned away from both of you, his back making a statement just as much as his face would have. 

“You cut me.”

He turned, and your eyes widened as you realized that he had a slice of red across one cheek. His eyes held nothing but wonder, however. “You had just woken up - how did you move that fast?”

You didn't move, frozen. Would the raven-haired male be angry? “I tend to move on instinct a lot - I was only awake once I was mid-way through the first slice of my dagger.”

Farlan hurried to his friend's side, looking at the cut with concern. “Levi - you jumped in front of me to take that, didn't you? I'm so sorry, I should have just let her sleep, but I was worried about her and –“

“Shut up, Farlan.” Levi sighed, wiping the blood away from the narrow cut. You took it in and relaxed; it was nothing to worry about. It wouldn't even scar. “What are a bunch of brats doing here anyway?”

“We're organizing the extermination of all of the dandelions around this place,” you told him, frowning and brushing your skirt so that some of the wrinkles were worked out.

“Dandelions?” Farlan inquired, a smile hovering around his lips. You weren't sure why you were joking about as freely as you were, but because of that smile that Farlan was wearing, you would keep up the light tone. “Have the nasty yellow flowers done something to you?”

“Oh yes,” you replied. “Rumour has it that those traitorous yellow flowers are poisonous to dogs and humans now. And,” you added, giving a pointed glance at Levi, “we can't have such threatening plants around our favourite poodle, can we?”

Levi growled and reached out to grab your shoulders - probably to shake you - but you danced out of reach, skipping down the aisle to reach the place where most of your friends were still sleeping. Glancing at the clock, which told you immediately that it was three o'clock, you yelled. 

“GET UP NOW YOU LAZY DANDELION HUNTERS!”

“Yes!” Sasha yelled, bolting awake, her hair an absolute mess. “We are the dandelion hunters!”

“YASS!” Jean groaned, sleep obviously fogging his mind, “whatever she said!”

“Agreed,” chorused Reiner and Bertoldt, raising their hands from where they were still under blankets on their desks. You giggled at the drowsiness of your friends and raised your eyebrows at Farlan and Levi, who had just joined you in looking at all of your friends.

“Told you so,” you said smugly, smiling at the boys.

“Shut it, brat,” Levi said, pushing you slightly as Farlan went to try and rouse Isabel, who was still stubbornly trying to cling to sleep.

“Why are you here this late in the day?” You asked him, watching Krista jump up and offer to make everyone pancakes. 

“Y/N... You don't know what time it is, do you?”

“What?” You asked, looking back at the clock. It still showed that it was three o'clock, so what was Levi on about? But then you realized that you were squinting to see through the darkness that was everywhere - it wasn't three in the afternoon, like you’d originally thought. It was three in the morning. “Levi! What were you doing in here at three in the morning!?”

“I'm your partner,” he said simply, “and so that means we're a team. Where you are, I am.”

“That sucks,” you told him. “So if I choose to go out on a date, will you be there too?”

Levi lost the amused look in his grey eyes. “Who would go on a date with you?”

Ouch. The insult was lost on you, however, as you turned and grinned at him. “I have several choices. See, Marco has always been lovely towards me, but recently Erwin seems to have taken an interest in me... And there's always Farlan, of course –“

Before you could continue, Levi cut you off with a growl. “Like Farlan would go on a date with you,” he said, disbelief catching on his tone.

You raised an eyebrow. “You think he wouldn’t?” Before he could reply, you yelled across the library to where Farlan was. “HEY! FARLAN!”

He turned in surprise and pleasure and raised a hand to wave at you. Levi tensed next to you, growling, “don't do it, brat, stop it right now –“

“Farlan? Levi doesn't believe that I can get a date. Care to help me prove him wrong?” You asked, blaming your bluntness on the fact that you were just surviving on three hours of sleep. Everyone looked at you with shock, and you slyly winked at them all and slightly inclined your head towards Levi. Farlan was watching you very closely, and he caught on to the inclination and knew that you were trying to annoy Levi.

“Of course, Y/N! I'll pick you up for a date in a bit, is that alright?”

Levi choked. 

You beamed at Farlan as he winked at you, reaching down to pick Isabel off the floor. “That would be fantastic! Thank you!” Turning to Levi with your arms crossed and a giant smirk plastered all over your face, you raised an eyebrow at him. “What was that you just said?”

“I hate you.”

“It was something ridiculous, I know that. What was it? Oh - that Farlan wouldn't go on a date with me?”

“Shut up.”

“Because I don't know if that was any giveaway, Levi, but I'd say that statement was wrong - wouldn't you?”

“I've never hated anyone as much as I hate you right now,” Levi growled before slinging his arms around your body and pulling you into his chest. You try to squeal, but his smooth and cold hand quickly finds your mouth and choked any sound. You were too stunned to cry out. “Shhh. I'm going to steal you away to teach you a lesson.”

So he led you quietly by the hand towards the doors of the library. You followed; stunned by the fact that Levi had practically hugged you. You breathed a little deeper, trying to remember his scent... But then you realized what you were doing and snapped out of it, following the black haired boy through the doors. The friends that you were leaving behind were already making groaning noises, so you decided that it would be okay to leave them to their own devices for a few hours. After you closed the door, leaving your teammates to fall back asleep, you faintly heard Jean yell. “WHO THE HELL WOKE ME UP AT THREE?”

But Levi still held your hand as you walked up the staircase to the first floor, then the second, and then the third. You looked around with interest, having never been up more than the first floor, before Levi continued up the stairs to the final floor, where no one knew had gone.

Apparently, from the way that Levi confidently led you down a few corridors, Levi was the exception to the rule. He stopped by a dusty door at the end of the very last corridor, heaving it open with as little sound as he could manage. The darkness that waited on the other side was suffocating. 

You didn't want to go into the darkness. As though he sensed your distress, Levi squeezed your fingers lightly and reassuringly before gently tugging you with him. Following him the way that a wary animal would follow its new master, you stepped exactly where he stepped as you both started to climb an unseen staircase. 

After a few seconds of climbing the stairs and listening to Levi's breaths, which were deep and regular, he reached another door and tugged that open too.

So you followed him into the unknown with your hand in his, your heart beating and your breaths shallow.

But you didn't care about that.

You just followed him.

***

Levi led you to a world of stars and flowers.  
The roof of the school was something that you had never paid much mind to. But now that you were there, perched high in the world, you realized that you were missing out on something so precious.

The floor was smooth stone slabs that had moss growing through the cracks and pretty flowers bursting from every small gap, creating a secret garden feeling. There were also wooden pillars that had ivy curving delicately around them, and they created a long roof that arched in a circle over your head, where the ivy hung down in thick curtains. Flowers of every colour were growing everywhere, and as you entered the sheltered area, you discovered that there were logs on their sides, the wood worked so that they were smooth and resembled seats. However, moss created a thick pillow for a seat, so as you sat down to take all of the beauty in, you felt more than comfortable. You heard water trickling along some small stream that all the plants had access to. It was hidden from sight by multiple emerald ferns, but every now and again the starlight's reflection would wink at you.

Levi pulled the ivy curtain to one side and joined you in the small alcove. He reached under your feet and pulled out a hidden drawer, from which he removed a thick black blanket and wrapped it around your body. “Levi,” you whispered, shock from all of the natural beauty dominating your thoughts. “Did you do this?”

Levi shook his head. “One of the older students built everything and left me to care for it. I was the only one who knows about it.”

“It's so beautiful.”

He laughed and took your hand again. “You're not even looking in the right direction, Y/N.” He again led you out of the sheltered area and out into the open air and sat down on the part of the floor that was so overgrown that it didn't look there had ever been stones there at all. He laid back and you mimicked him, leaning onto your back and hugging your blanket closer.

You looked up into the stars, with the endless black of the night hugging their light. Fireflies danced in the darkness, leaving light trails in between the stars, and you had to remind yourself to breath. “You like?” Levi asked, and you shot a glance at him. 

He wasn't looking at you, just at the stars. The starlight suited him, you decided, seeing how the silvery light shone on his raven hair and made his skin look glossed and smooth. You could see every detail of Levi - how his eyebrow arched, how his jawline was so smooth and how it lead to a pointed chin. You could see how his eyes weren't just a grey, dull and watchful, but actually the cool darkness before the starlight hit it. 

You could see the stars in them now. 

“Yes. I like very much,” you whispered.


	11. Chapter 11 - The Dog

Next thing you knew, daylight was shining and the birds had started to sing. You sat up carefully, trying not to make any noise in case you scared them away. Your blanket fell away from your body, and you allowed yourself to look around the garden once more. The flowers swayed in the morning breeze, and the dampness of the moss below you told you about the sap and how it was summer now.

You stood up, folding the blanket neatly up and put it away in the hidden drawer of the log-bench thing. Levi wasn't anywhere to be seen, but as you looked near where his body had been, there was a note with cramped but still neat handwriting on it. There was also a rusted key which had a string tied around the top of it, and you understood that it was the key to the doors. That was a gift in itself - the freedom that you could come here anytime you wanted. You placed the key around your neck, smiled at the small rusted thing and read the note.

‘Your lesson was not to get too tired. I hope you slept well.’

Tucking the note away in your pocket, you tried not to beam - and failed miserably.

You climbed down the staircase, remembering to lock both doors securely so that no one would just stumble onto Levi's secret. After finding your way back down to the library, you sunk back into the miserable role of tutoring everyone. The rest of the day went smoothly, and you were glad that Levi had dragged you away to get some sleep because Isabel regularly attempted to run away from you and the maths graphs that you wanted her to try... And she wasn't going to stop for anyone.

After the fifth time that you had dragged her back, you sat her right by Annie so that the blond could keep one of her icy blue eyes on her and therefore give you a break. You visited Krista in the kitchens and helped her make lunch for all of you, and chatted with the cooks that were there. Krista had all of them wrapped around her little finger, prompting you to make notes for when you wanted a midnight snack. 

All of the students were off-timetable for this week to prepare for the school trip, which proved to be a very exciting event. You were jealous at them, strolling around the grounds and enjoying the leisure time. But as you walked back into the library, you knew that there was no place that you'd rather be. With Jean chasing Marco around because the latter had stolen the mark scheme to the paper that Jean had been attempting, and Reiner and Bertoldt making themselves a fort of pillows and blankets that Sasha and Connie defended by throwing books at the incomers, you had never felt more at home.

The day of tests came too soon, because all of you had to get your target grades if you wanted to go on the three week trip - and all of you did. Trudging wearily to the girl's Dorm after it had finished, you stretched and huddled under Isabel's umbrella, which was clear but had bright orange stripes across it. The raining had started that morning, but the bleakness of the morning had continued into the afternoon. The droplets lashed at the ground and the darkness of the sky consumed your every thought. You held Isabel's other hand as you both ran - squealing - through the rain and in through the doors.

Everyone else was already in the hallway, removing shoes and soaking coats. Annie flicked her head to the side, sending a few damp locks of hair out of her face. Sasha, it seemed, had forgotten her coat and was doing an impression of a person who could control the water leaking from her clothes and hair. As you abandoned your jacket at the locker to dry, you and Isabel walked up the stairs to where the others were waiting.

“Sleepover,” Annie said shortly, “at Isabel's place. Boys are coming in through the window.”

“Whhhaaa?” Isabel cried, panic settling in her eyes, “why does it have to be my room?!”

“Because it's the biggest,” Sasha grinned. “See you in an hour!”

“Wait,” you grabbed Annie's arm, “we've only got an hour?”

She nodded, and you ran towards your room and bolted to the shower. Washing and dressing into comfortable pajamas that were slightly too short in the ankle, you grab all of your many pillows and throw it all into Isabel's waiting arms.

“So much stuff!” Isabel groaned, pretending to fall under the weight of your many blankets. “You do know that this is only one night, right?!”

“I know, but you realize how many people are going to be crammed in here?” You said, looking around at the space. Isabel had obviously done a very speedy tidy-up session, because there were no clothes or loose bits of paper to be seen. “Impressive tidying up, Isabel.”

She smiled widely at you. “I can solemnly promise that it won't last.”

“I wasn't counting on it,” you told her as Annie and Sasha joined you in the room. Since Isabel had a bunk bed it was very convenient for sleepovers such as this, where many people were cramming themselves into the little room. 

Ymir and Krista followed the other two in, both of them laden with snacks and goodies which nearly made Sasha cry at the sight. Mikasa followed, one of her rare smiles lighting up her face as she beheld the blankets and pillows everywhere and the girls dotted around the place.

Then a demanding knock on the window sent you all scurrying to the window. Reiner and Bertoldt were first, and you nearly laughed yourself to tears at the sight of Bertoldt's teddy bear slippers. Jean and Marco were next, and you were immediately sandwiched between them as all three of you wanted to claim the top bunk. All three of you were at the top and watching as Connie, Eren and Armin were finally brought in through the window and then it was shut against the howling of the wind.

Once everyone had found a comfortable place to sit, (which wasn't hard, with an uncountable amount of blankets covering the floor) chatter started to dominate the space.  
You were between Marco and Jean on the top bunk, and below you were Sasha, Isabel and Connie on the bottom bunk. Annie had managed to curl herself, like a cat, into Isabel's armchair with Reiner and Bertoldt lying in their sleeping bags around her. Eren was next to the bunk with Armin and Mikasa on either side, and Ymir and Krista were both seated at the window seat. 

“Alright, everyone shut up!” Isabel yelled as she stood up, whacked her head on the top bunk, and fell back down. Once all of you had got your laughter in control, she tried again; this time with more success. She walked towards the television that was mounted on the wall opposite the bunk so that everyone could see and pulled out many films from the shelf on top of it. There was no internet or satellite, but films were allowed. “Which one does everyone want to see first?”

So that was how everyone ended up singing a very dramatic version of Let it Go, with Marco and you crying with laughter at Jean's attempt at the high note. After that, you went on a marathon of Harry Potter and then played several games.

The popcorn disappeared at an alarming rate, but after the sun had just started to come up everyone started falling asleep anyway. Somewhere along the way, you ended up on the window seat, wrapped in a thick and soft blanket that was big enough to dwarf you. Now on the top bunk was Eren, Connie and Armin, with Mikasa, Sasha and Krista on the bottom. Ymir had fallen asleep in a position that lead to her sitting down but leaning against the bunk bed, where some kind soul had placed a pillow behind her head... Probably Christa. 

Annie was still in her chair, but Bertoldt was now using Reiner's chest as a pillow as both of them were sprawled widely across the floor, with Reiner's arms and legs spread out everywhere. You hadn't realized how lanky he was. And Isabel was curled up on the floor beside the two boys, snoring happily.

Jean and Marco were closest to you, Marco right by the window seat. He was neatly cocooned in his sleeping bag, but Jean was the sole opposite. Blankets - and many of them - were covering his body and he curled in towards Marco in his sleep.

You allowed yourself to look out to the fields, which were gently becoming lighter and lighter as the sun rose. Starting to dream, and seeing that you were exceptionally warm and comfy in your little ball, you felt yourself slip into the land of sleep.

***

“Well, isn't this interesting.”

“Brats.”

You opened your eyes and shrank away from the light, piercing and bright. Fresh air danced across your face and you blearily realized that the window had been opened again... And two people were there.

Levi jumped into the room, and you sleepily watched as everyone else woke up and stood to immediate attention. As he was the student head's second, all of you (apart from you and Isabel) in the room showed considerable respect. But you couldn't focus on Levi too much as Farlan reached for you, his arms wrapping around you and picking you up, blanket and all. 

“Cute,” he smiled, reaching up to your face and flicking your nose. You yowled quietly, curling deeper into your nest as the air invaded your warm haven with its cold touch. “You're coming with me.”

Before you could reply, Farlan had slid back down the ladder that Levi and Farlan had obviously climbed to reach Isabel's first floor window. Levi stuck his head out of the window with a murderous gaze on his face as he beheld Farlan carrying you. “And where the hell do you think you're going?”

Farlan shrugged. “Anywhere that I want.” And with that, he kicked the ladder so that it fell down to the ground with surprisingly little sound. Levi swore. “Thank you for helping me get Y/N, Levi.”

And with that, Farlan took off running with you in his arms. He sprinted down the path, his breathing coming in fast and short flashes, as he reached the boy's Dorm. Kicking open the door and proceeding to the second floor, he reached the room that was obviously his own and locked it before crossing to the window and locking that too. Seeing your scandalized expression, he hurried to appease you. “It's not so that you can't get out - it's so that he can't get in.”

He finally set you down on his bed, and you allowed yourself to straighten up and stretch your back. “Why were you at Isabel's that early in the morning?”

“Well, Levi knew about the sleepover because Eren was meant to be on cleaning duty but didn't turn up. When Levi checked his room, then Arlert's and then Springer's, he knew that you guys were meeting up.”

“So he just barged in? That was rude.”

“You know sleepovers are against the rules, Y/N,” he told you softly. “And you know that he is in charge of punishments.”

“So why'd you kidnap me?” You asked, settling yourself down onto his pillows. You might as well get comfortable.

“Well, I figured that since he stole you from me yesterday, I might as well steal you from him today.”

“He didn't steal me away, did he?” You said, confusion settling in. Then the memory of where you had been - at the garden, with Levi - was meant to have been spent with Farlan... On a date. “Oh, Farlan...”

“It's okay,” he said, “I know that it was a joke. But Levi didn't think that it was, did he?” After a sharp intake of breath, you remembered Levi's glare in Farlan's direction, the fury that someone might actually take you away from him. “So I wanted to get him back for taking you away from me. Also, I figured that I might as well get that date anyway, since you're funny and I like that.” His eyes sparkled and you felt yourself melt. It would be so easy to love Farlan, you knew, to love his eyes and his laugh and his humour. But the idea of a date was scary to you... You didn't want to mess up the friendship that you two had.

“But - is it a real date?” You checked, standing up and brushing yourself down.

“No,” Farlan laughed, standing up from his seat and going into his wardrobe. “It's just a dinner between friends.” You sighed, and joined him in standing by his wardrobe. You were confused at yourself - was the sigh in relief or disappointment? “But, before you panic, I get to decide what you'll wear.”

And he pulled out a dress from the back of his wardrobe and watched as the blood ran out of your face.

The black dress was beautiful.

Maybe... Just maybe this date thing wouldn't be too bad...

Farlan left you alone to get dressed in the beautiful black dress, its deep midnight colour going well with your S/C skin. You hastily styled your hair/adjusted your hijab in front of the mirror in his bathroom and added a few accessories, shoving your feet into black flats and twirling around like a little girl.

But you stopped yourself and felt the fabric of the dress continue to swirl around you, making you feel like a princess. How did Farlan even get this dress? Or did he just give it to all of the girls that he wanted to take out on a date? 

Farlan knocked on his own door and you hurried to answer it, not wanting him to get impatient. You opened it, a faint blush creeping up on your cheeks despite yourself, and looked at the male that you were to call your date.

He was in a casual-smart kind of dress up, with black trousers and a button-up navy shirt that had the top two buttons undone. His tawny eyes looked you up and down, and you fought back your blush as he stood back in the corridor, extending his arm for you to take.

“My lady, if I may?”

“You may,” you answer, a giggle trying to work its way up your throat. 

“So, this most definitely is not a date,” he started to say, walking down the staircase and opening doors for you.

“Most definitely,” you agree, thinking back to his statement before.

“Then you are, of course, not expecting anything fancy.”

“Of course not.”

“And so, the natural assumption would be that I would just take you to the dining hall, indeed?”

“Indeed.”

It was so easy to bounce off of his essence, to just thrive off of Farlan's energy. It was there, teasing and jumping around in joy. If Farlan was an animal, you could imagine a dog; very loyal and loving but willing to fight for what it wants. It would be so very easy to love him.

But you were Y/N L/N, and you never settled for the easy parts of life. But as Farlan led you out of the doors and into the forest at the side of the boy's Dorms, you thought that maybe Farlan was the very opposite of easy. He never settled for anything less than what he thought he deserved. The way he moved was gentler than that of Levi, who moved like the dancing flames. Farlan was suppler, much more like air in the way that it just wanted to be free and to fly through leaves and grass.

He took your hand as you slipped from the sight of the Dorms, and led you to a wall of thistles and thorns that you'd never seen before. It was in the shape of a circle, and Farlan led you around it to a tiny and hidden path had been cut so that people could go through. You both twisted yourselves down the path, avoiding the thorns and thistles. No one had been down this path in a while... It emitted the aura of mysteriousness and loneliness.

The path led through the wall and into a hidden thicket. It was well-tended to, sharply contrasting to the overgrown and wild garden that Levi had shown you. The grass was neatly cropped so you could see the absence of weeds and could spot all of the flowers that grew within the small, hidden meadow that lay in the centre of the circle of thorns. Blue and red flashed at you, and the wind caressed your face as Farlan pulled you towards the huge oak tree in the middle of the meadow. You narrowed your eyes at the odd shape of it and realized with a huge rush of excitement that there was a tree house nestled in the middle of the web of branches.

Farlan unhooked a ladder from the side of the tree and helped you climb up; he then eagerly lifted himself up after you had entered the small and sheltered space.  
It was nothing special, but you loved it anyway. It was small and cosy, with enough floor space so that at least four people could lie down. There was a wide window that led to one of the biggest branches of the tree, and it proved to you that you weren't trapped here... You could get out any time that you wanted.

So Farlan sat you down and showed you where the hidden floorboards were. You gasped as he pulled out all kinds of food, which were fresh enough that you could surmise that he came here, to this small and tucked away place, quite often indeed.

“Does this beat the dining hall?” He asked, after two hours of chatter. You had lost yourself in the ease of talking to him, and were enjoying yourself immensely. 

“On so many levels,” you told him, and meant it. 

“Then... Does this beat wherever Levi took you that night?”

That startled you into silence. You rolled onto your side, seeking out his eyes, but they were turned carefully away from you. Farlan was avoiding your gaze, fixing his eyes on the bird that was on the branch outside. “Why –“ you stuttered, “why would you ask me that?”

As if in answer, Farlan flipped himself upright so that he was sitting cross-legged against the wooden wall. He was silent for a moment, as though he tasted the words. “I don't know,” he said, and he furrowed his brows in confusion, “but I suppose that I am curious to see whose date was better.”

“T-that night was not a date!” You exclaimed, the loudness of your voice making the birds outside fall silent. You couldn’t help it – your heart began to pound. It wasn’t the harmless flutter that came from flirting, or the ache that came after that failed. It was pounding against your chest with barely concealed panic. “And this night is not a date either, you said.”

“He led you to wherever he took you by the hand, Y/N,” Farlan said, his expression turning sombre. “Do you have any idea what it takes for Levi to touch anyone?”

You didn't know, but you opened your mouth to angrily retort anyway. “Why are you talking about Levi, Farlan? Can't you just talk about you? That's what dates are about, to talk about yourself and your partner...” You didn't mean to sound so tired, so emotionally drained, but somehow exhaustion at Farlan had touched your tone.

“Alright,” he said tonelessly, closing his eyes. “My favourite colour is green; green for the grass and for leaves and for ivy.” You stayed silent, calming your heart’s thunderous beat and watching his lips move. Farlan didn't move as you crawled closer to his body and just kept talking. “I like music, but it has to be quiet... Music too loud makes me uncomfortable.”

He took a gasping breath as you took his hand in yours and held it in front of both of you. Then, gently, you began to trace patterns onto his pale skin, painting invisible artwork. “I like fancy clothes and the way that they make me feel, but I prefer clothes that are soft and easy to move in better.”

And so you both relaxed again, with Farlan telling you all of the simplistic little things about him and with you tracing unseen patterns onto his skin and listening.

Only listening; you felt Farlan's delicacy, his anger at being second to Levi, but his love towards that very male. You felt it all behind his words - how he liked ravens and birds, how he liked the smell of cleanliness first thing in the morning. You felt it all.

And you knew that if you did anything more than listen, Farlan would break.

But he didn't break.

And you didn't stop listening.

Even as the sun went down and Farlan ran out of things to say, you listened to his breaths and the way that his heart beat twice quickly, and then once slowly. Night crept in with a soothing black, and Farlan climbed down first and again offered his arm to you. You took it, listening to the faint sounds that his clothes made against yours, to the sound of his footsteps and how light they were.

You listened to everything that made him him. 

So when he opened the door to the boy's Dorm and the colours of crimson and gold rushed to meet you, you smiled tiredly. You opened your mouth to say goodbye to Farlan, to smile at him in the way that told him that you cared about him, to thank him for the day. It was common courtesy, and you hadn’t had the most awful time… You knew that you weren't in love with him... You weren't even sure that love existed. However, you knew how easy it would be to love him - but to be in love with him was an entirely different matter, and one that you were sure wasn't going to come up.

But as you turned to him with your lips ready to say some witty comment, you realized that he had other ideas.

He had his face near yours, and he leaned in with his lips quivering, eager to meet with yours. You were too shocked, too dazed, too unprepared...

But a loud smack brought you back to your senses, and a hand was squeezing your upper arm tightly. You forced your eyes to cooperate, to see...

And you saw Farlan on the floor, rubbing his face - which had turned red from both anger and bruising. Because next to you, gripping your arm - was Levi.

His face was hidden from you as it was turned away from you and towards the boy on the floor. But that didn't stop you from feeling the aura, the fatal calm that Levi was emitting. “Were you about to kiss her?”

“L-Levi, what -?” Levi ignored your attempt at consoling him, his fingers only tightening around your arm as he nearly attempted to drag you bodily away from the tawny-haired boy.

“I said - were you about to kiss her?”

“Yes,” Farlan said, growling the answer. “And what of it? Is she yours?”

“She's my partner, my rival... What is she to you? What gives you the right to kiss her?”

“She's something more important than my rival, or my partner. She's my friend, and I gave myself the right to kiss the girl that I spent a date with.”

Levi's eyes shot to you, and you spotted the anger and the need to protect there. “A date? That's where you were?”

“Yes,” Farlan snarled, lifting himself off the floor. “And I’ll ask again - what of it?”

“She just disappeared! Both of you just vanished!” Levi said, forcing himself to be calm, to be closed off. “I thought... I thought...”

“That I was in danger,” you finished, your voice now dominating the tension between the two boys. “Because last time I disappeared, I was nearly dying from the titans.”

Silence.

You looked from one to the other, one raven and the other brown. One wolf and one dog. 

The dog yielded first. 

“Levi, I'm sorry.”

“Tch.”

“I should have told you, I didn't mean to worry you. I'm sorry, alright?”

“Whatever.”

Levi turned and walked up the stairs, his calm mask annoying you. Farlan followed, cracking weak jokes and talking about how he could never stay angry at him for long. Only then did you allow yourself to breathe, to stop listening.

You allowed yourself to become you again. That girl that spent the date with Farlan - that wasn't you. That was just the girl that Farlan needed to listen to him, the girl that he needed to talk to. Because you were kind, you could be that girl for a little while, to help those who need it. But now... Now you were completely, utterly you.

So you hurtled up the stairs and slapped them both across the face, watching as their heads whip to the sides. One may have been a wolf and the other a dog, but you were Y/N L/N, and you were fire.

“Don't get the wrong idea; I belong to no one but myself,” you hiss, watching and glaring as they look at you in astonishment. “So she is not yours, Farlan. I will never belong to you, or anyone. And she is not your partner, some object that you can tell off for being kissed, Levi. I belong to no one. Don't ever,” you lash out, turning and running away through the front doors, “fight over me again! I can fight my own battles!”

And that is how you ended up running down a path in the absolute darkness, tears streaming down your face and your black dress twirling around you.

***

Isabel found you like that later, silently lying down on the grass by the lake. It was dark apart from the moonlight, and you consoled yourself watching as the streaks of silver danced on the water. The girl sat down beside you, making no quick moves so that she didn't startle you.

Because Isabel knew that whilst you could be fire when you needed to, could burn bright enough to scare all of the darkness away for the people that needed it... You couldn't be fire all of the time. Burning too bright meant that you wouldn't last long. And she could see that.

So when she started stroking your hair, calming and smooth, you yielded. “Levi's trying to find you right now. He's going insane.”

“How did you find me?”

“I'm Isabel, and you're Y/N. I know you.”

“That explanation sucks.”

“That's life. What made you upset?”

“They were fighting over me,” you said, closing your eyes. You didn't say who were fighting over you, because Isabel already knew. “And I don't like that. It made me feel like an object, like some trophy to be won. It made me feel like the princess waiting for her prince to win against the dragon to save her.”

“Some girls,” Isabel's voice said, “would leap at the chance to be a princess.”

“But I am no princess. I am a warrior, a fighter.”

“Maybe the princess was a fighter before she was locked up in the tall tower with a dragon to guard her. Maybe she was a fighter and she got locked up in the tower because of it.”

“Then she wasn't much of a fighter. She should never have given up.”

“What was she supposed to do? There was a dragon guarding her.”

You sat up, offering a hand to Isabel to help her up. You watched her walk away from you, towards the girl's Dorms, and then looked back over the lake.

There was a boy on the other side of it, looking at you. He was waiting for your response, you realized, as he cocked his head at you, his raven hair flicking to one side. You knew who it was; the raven-haired wolf, watching his ally, his rival, his partner.

“If she was a fighter, forced into being guarded by a dragon... Then she should have fought the dragon herself,” you said, before following Isabel to the comfort of your bedroom.


	12. Chapter 12 - The Flight

Annie woke you up early on Sunday morning.

You were happily dozing, more than comfortable in your F/C pyjamas, and then the small height of Annie was thrown onto your stomach as she launched herself across you.

“WHAT!? Oh, it's you,” you groaned, pushing her off of your bed. She sat there, looking at you with ice blue eyes that were telling you that you were close to death. “What do you want?”

“We're leaving today, and you weren't waking up after I yelled twice.” Annie told you, her sincere tone almost making you laugh. 

“Who the heck is yelling in here?” Isabel's voice reached you before she did, waltzing straight into your room without so much of a knock. Her grey top and blue shorts told you that she had also just been awoken, and her hair was sticking up in all directions. “It's too early for this, Annie.”

“No, it's not. It's already ten.”

“TOO EARLY!” You and Isabel yelled at her, before you both flopped onto your bed with every intention to fall back asleep. Annie, however, had other ideas as she gripped both of you by your ears and dragged you out of it, disregarding your cries of complaint.

“We're leaving today, and you both have to get packed before lunch.”

Oh. Oh. 

“ANNIE!” You screamed at the girl, shoving both the red and the blond haired girls out of your room. “WHY DID YOU NOT WAKE ME UP SOONER?!”

“Unbelievable,” Annie groaned as she picked Isabel up off the floor. You grinned at your closed door before switching yourself into utter seriousness. Grabbing a plain bag, you started to pack.

***

All of the girls lined up inside the hall of the Dorm, waiting to sign out and receive a packed lunch for the road. You were all expected to ride a horse to the city, you had been told, and you were looking forward to the trip massively. It was the first time that you'd been outside of the wall since you originally came here, so naturally you were curious to see how the city worked.

Annie was at your side, silently glaring at you for pushing her off of your bed. Her bag was small, much like yours, and she kept tugging the collar of her shirt up. You looked down to your own collar, where it was high and not revealing the inked tattoo that lay hidden beneath. You still hadn't figured out how it got there, or what it meant... Maybe you could figure it out on the trip?

Isabel and Sasha waited outside as you and Annie signed next to your names and joined them, clutching the paper bags that carried your lunches. You climbed on top of Skira, who had somehow been forced into wearing a saddle. She wasn't happy about it - she kept snorting and fidgeting her body around, which was highly unusual. Since you'd be riding with your partners, you scanned the crowd of students for Levi and immediately found him. His black and white horse was tall and commanded attention, so you nudged Skira towards him.

You tugged her to a halt next to him, eyeing him up and down. There was no look on his face to suggest that he was happy, or sad, or any other kind of emotion. But as you raised an eyebrow, he groaned and kicked you lightly.

“Don't look at me like that.” 

You groaned at the oh-so-charming opening sentence – clearly, today was going to be a good day. “Like what?”

“Like you are debating with yourself.”

“Oh?” You said, making your tone as disdainful as you could manage. “And what would I be debating?”

Levi smirked at you before looking towards the gates. “You look like you’re debating whether to either kill or kiss me.”

You almost fell off Skira. “What?! I was doing no such thing! Alright, maybe I was debating how to kill you - but where on earth did that idea even come from -?”

He cut you off, leaning over and whispering in your ear with a huskily low voice. “You're babbling, Y/N. That's the first sign of nervousness.”

You turned and hit him, hard. But that only sufficed in making him look faintly amused, and you fell into a blushing, raging mess with an aching fist. I hate him, you told yourself. Levi was just so infuriating! With his raven hair and grey eyes, it was natural that you found him a tiny bit attractive... And he could be nice, when he wished. But most of the time, he reminded you of fire and hatred. 

A whistle blew at the front of the giant party, and you all fell silent. It blew again, once shortly, then another for a long time - the signal to form up. You followed Levi to the front of the group, where Erwin was seated on his white stallion. “You are with me for the journey,” Erwin told you as the rest of the school moved themselves to be near their team leader. Once there was no more movement, Pixis blew the whistle twice more... 

And you were off.

It wasn't a gallop - the speed was a lot slower. But as you moved through the gate, and into freedom with no walls, you didn't feel as good as you thought that you would have.  
You were afraid. This was titan territory - an army could swarm and surround you at any moment, and then you'd all have to fight for your lives. Your breathing came in short gasps; it wasn't necessarily yourself that you were frightened for, but the others. What if you couldn't protect all of them? You looked around you and saw all of your classmates smiling and laughing with their partners. What if they were never able to smile again because you couldn't protect them?

“That could be us, all happy and smiling,” Levi said, looking forward, “but you're angry at me.”

“Yes.” Shock made you blink twice before the indignant part of you awakened in a fury. “Yes! You were being horrible - talking about me as if I wasn't there, as if I couldn't fight my own case!”

“I knew you could fight your own battle, but I wanted to spare Farlan a little. Plus, I wanted to fight him myself... He was going to kiss you,” Levi said, as though it settled the entire argument.

“Yes, he was. But then you hit him... Why?”

“Because I looked at your face and saw that you didn't want him like that... Your eyes were screaming even if your voice wasn't.”

“Is that the only reason?” You probed deeper, unsure why or how you had even dared to go this far. You wanted him to admit something... What was it?

“Well, I can't have people distracting my partner, brat. I work on very simplistic terms - you get us into trouble by being stupid, and I get us out of it by being the best. Understood?”

“I understand, but that doesn't mean that I agree with it.”

“Did I ask you if you agreed with it, brat?”

“No, you did not.”

“Then shut up.”

Conversation turned on and off throughout the day of travel, and you realized that though Levi hadn't laughed and you hadn't smiled, you knew that you were both enjoying yourselves immensely with the continuous battle of wit and tongue and words. He had relaxed your frightened state when you had needed it. That must count towards something... Right?

All too soon, the sun began setting. As you slowed your horses to a slow trot, still moving forwards, you nudged Skira towards Erwin's stallion and looked up at him, tall and proud. “Say, Erwin,” you said, looking towards the horizon, “aren't we going to stop?”

Erwin laughed. “You want to stop in the middle of titan's territory? No, Y/N, we keep going. The city is just over the horizon.”

You fell back to Levi's side, looking at the horizon which was turning a steady pink as the sun sank closer to it. Then, you saw them. The walls were taller than the ones surrounding Survey Corps, too tall to climb to the top. You couldn't even guess at the height... All you knew was that they were tall. So tall, in fact, that it took you and your party another hour to reach the walls that you could see from miles off. 

Your party gathered outside of the gates, which opened slowly and carefully. Now, students were starting to feel the tension. This was the city, where the titans would definitely attack one day in order to wipe out the humanity that was left. Titans... They had ruined everything, for a lot of people. 

Erwin and Pixis lead you through the city, and you saw people gather on either side of the cobblestone road to look at your green capes, your brown jackets... You saw people gape and whisper about you and your school, because everyone knew. Everyone knew that you were all trained for army purposes, for the art of killing.

“Don't let it go to your head,” Levi growled. “They're only staring because they've never seen the Survey Corps with this many people.”

You batted your eyelashes at him. “There was me thinking that it was due to my fabulous presence,” you drawled sarcastically, pulling a face. 

Levi, despite himself, smiled before he caught himself. “If they were staring at you, it would only be in disgust.”

“Oh, because you're well versed in what disgust looks like, aren't you?”

“All I have to do is look at you.”

“No, all you have to do is look in the mirror... That is, if it doesn't crack first.”

You were broken out of the witty banter with Levi once you reached the central square - where the training grounds to the army were used. If you wished to join the army one day, here is where you'd be assessed and trained. You spotted Eren looking around in interest before Armin claimed his attention. 

Dot Pixis lead the way towards the castle in the very centre of the city, with people parting to let the hundreds of students through. Although it was night, there seemed to be a lot of the public outside - or maybe it was just so that they could see you. 

Once you reached the castle and put the horses in the expansive stables, all of you gathered in the main hall with Dot Pixis at your head. He stood up and any chatter died away immediately, and Levi moved slightly closer to you in the small space.

“Alright, we've all arrived. Now, you will be sent into temporary barracks for the night, and then at six in the morning you will be woken up. This trip is three weeks long - we will spend the first week here, being trained for the military police in order to protect the king. The next week, we will be joining the official Survey Corps, the scouting legion, and for the final week we will be joining the Garrison. The aim of this trip is to make you see each of your options for the future. Now, you will be placed into groups in which you will be working - but one person that you will always have by your side is your tutor.”

You glanced at Levi only to find that he was already looking at you with an amused glint in his eyes. You deliberately stepped on his toes, grinning innocently when he shoved you back. 

“Now, the current guard will lead you to your barracks.”

Then, with two guards appearing on either side of Pixis, the room melted from the formal atmosphere into a more relaxed one. Levi grabbed your elbow as people shifted and began walking, whispering into your ear. “I'll see you tomorrow. Don't get any nightmares.”

“You could have just said goodnight!” You exclaimed, annoyingly amused. Levi only half-smiled and then slipped into the crowd, which was splitting into two groups - boys and girls. You quickly found Isabel and Annie as you began walking down a different corridor to the boys, with Sasha and Mikasa following you. 

The guard told you that each of the years would be sharing the barracks, so you'd be sharing with all of the first years. Your barracks were the first one that your massive group came to, and so you felt relief as you opened the heavy wooden door. There were several bunks crammed into the long room, and so you and Isabel immediately grabbed one together. You let Isabel take the top, and Sasha and Mikasa settled themselves onto the bunk on your left, and Ymir and Krista on your right. Annie took the one opposite you with Mina, a black haired girl who was one of the quieter members of your year.

“Well, this is exciting,” you said, and Isabel laughed at the sarcasm lining your tone. “I thought we'd get to do all of the action stuff.”

“We do,” Annie said. “Just wait until next week. That's the actual scouting and assassination legion that we've been training for.”

“Are you definitely going to be an assassin, Annie?” Isabel asked.

“No. I'm going to join the garrison and protect the walls, if no other future appeals to me.”

Her words sent a shock through you. “But - but you're the one of the best! You can't waste your talents like that!”

“I'm not wasting it. Don't you remember what happened to Eren? If I had been there, protecting the walls of his city, his mother and father would still be alive. I'd make a difference.”

“But –“

“Don't try to make me change my mind, Y/N. That is my decision, and you don't control me or my life.”

You fell silent and were still awake when everyone else was asleep. Annie was going to the garrison... It was a foreign concept to think about. You had always just assumed that she'd be with you, forever competing against you and your skills no matter what. But if she was going to the garrison, you'd never see her again...

You climbed out of your bunk, careful not to wake anyone else. Annie was on the bottom bunk just a few meters away from you, and you leaned closer to her.

But then your eyes fell onto her collarbone, which was revealed by her stretched top. There, inked in black, was a tattoo that was identical to your own. 

For a moment, the world stopped. You could have sworn that you recognised the mark, seeing it without a mirror or a warped view – but where from? Annie snorted quietly, turning over in her sleep, baring her teeth at an imaginary enemy. You stole away with deadly quiet, creeping back into your bed with empty thoughts dancing in your head. Endless questions about the mark without answers drove you steadily mad, and even slower into sleep.

The next morning came all too soon.

Stony faced women yelled at you all to get up, and you jolted awake immediately and whacked your head on Isabel's foot as she hurriedly tried to climb down from her top bunk. Both of you were then dragged down to the floor, where you punched Isabel's arm. With the two of you elegantly sprawled across the floor, you were attracting a lot of attention.

Annie groaned somewhere nearby and gripped your arm, tugging you harshly to your feet. You flinch away, your eyes going automatically to where her collarbone was - but it was again covered by a high collar. Her eyes meet yours and a flash of understanding shines through, before she grips your arm tighter and leads you towards the corridor. She threw you out before closing the dormitory door, glaring at you with eyes made of ice.

She glanced up and down the corridor, looking for incoming people, before turning back to you and shoving you against the wall. Her arms formed a cage around you, blocking any escape that you may have had planned, and she growled. “How the hell did you see it?”

You hold your head up high, keeping your gaze straight into her eyes, not allowing any second glance towards her collarbone. “See what?”

Annie immediately faltered, loosening her grip on either side of you as if she suddenly remembered who you were. “You - you didn't see?”

You did your best to sound lazy, insolent. “See what, Annie - your incompetence at asking the right questions?”

“Never mind,” she mumbled, before letting you go and heading back into the dormitory to get dressed. You weren't sure why you hadn't answered her truthfully... She may have known the answer behind the tattoo. But just now, every instinct was roaring at you to not trust her, to not trust the foreign mark on your own skin that linked you to her. And your instincts had saved your life several times, so you weren't going to just ignore them now.

“Y/N?”

You turned and saw Marco running towards you. Quickly casting your eyes around, checking for Annie or Jean, you smiled at the new arrival and acted like you weren’t incredibly nervous right now. “Hey Marco! Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you - but I just saw Annie pin you against the wall! I didn't hear anything, but it sounded like she was accusing you of something so I came to help.”

You smile at him widely, wondering how such a pure soul could have come to be at Survey Corps. “Thanks for thinking about me, Marco. I swear - all of the people in the entire school aren't half as nice as you are.”

Marco blushes, the red flush looking adorably cute underneath his freckles. “Don't say that, you'll embarrass me...!”

Chuckling, you wave at him at walk back into the Dormitory to get dressed. Shutting the door behind you, you realized that everyone was nearly ready and waiting for you. Smiling apologetically, you hurry to get dressed.

***

Isabel links arms with you in the massive hall, the same one that you were all in yesterday. This was day one of the trip, with twenty one altogether. Annie stayed away from you pointedly, never meeting your eyes and constantly reaching up to her collar, straightening it all whilst looking impassively on. “So we get put into groups for this week,” Isabel muses, looking around with bird-like curiosity. “I hope that I'm not with Erwin... He looks scary, especially being the student head and all...”

“He isn't that scary,” Sasha disagreed, appearing at your other elbow. “I mean, if his eyebrows were potatoes then there would be no world hunger.”

“Is that really what you spend your time thinking about, Sasha?” Another voice adds. Sasha grinned widely at Christa, who had just entered the hall through the same arch that you’d all come through. Her blond hair was shining despite the dirt covering every surface within the castle, and her wide eyes glimmered with kindness as she smiled back at Sasha. Ymir, who was just behind Krista, glared at everyone. 

“What else is there to think about besides food?” Sasha started saying, waving her arms around in the way that told everyone she was indeed very passionate about this topic. Connie, a few meters away, looked over and started to walk over, just in time to hear Christa's response.

“I don't know, friends? Family? Your future?”

“Pssh, who needs friends and family if you've got food?” Connie laughed, working his way through the crowd to stand by Sasha and grin at the girl. “The only thing constant in Sasha's future is food.”

Though it was true, you all laughed anyway. Mikasa smiled as she scanned the room, her mind obviously elsewhere. “Eren's here,” you told her, only balking a little as she snapped her gaze to you with predatory focus, “so you shouldn't worry.”

“I wasn't worrying –“

“Yes, you were,” you interrupted, “but that's okay. You've lost everything else so it's natural to want to cling on to the things that you have left. But I'm telling you that you don't have to.”

“I will sooner die than to stop thinking about him. I owe him my life.”

“I owe my life to someone too,” you said, and memories started to tug at you again. But you shut them down, firmly, with iron will. “But that doesn't stop me from wanting to kill them.”

“Do you mean Levi?”

You started at his name, instinctively looking around for the male as though saying his name would summon him. “Yes, I was thinking about Levi. Is it that obvious?”

Mikasa smiled. “Not exactly – but the great Pride would hardly owe her life to just some student. But you need to remember that other people owe their lives to you too. You saved the school from a titan invasion when you rescued us, and so everyone here may owe their lives to you; if you hadn’t stopped them, they might have gotten in. All I know for certain, though, is that I owe mine.”

You hadn't thought about that day in a while, when the bloodlust had nearly taken over. “I don't want people to owe their lives to me. That means if I die, they'll feel guilty, and I won't wish that on anybody. It's a terrible thing, guilt. It can crush you.”

You didn't tell Mikasa how you knew about guilt and how much it could turn a person into the villain. So instead, rather than focus on your past, you turned your mind to the people around you. Sasha was telling Christa her latest theory about pancakes, and so you let her ramble on as the board stating which group you were in was brought through the doors, covered with a huge sheet. The hall fell silent, watching as Dot Pixis whipped the sheet down and all of the student's eyes went to find their names.

You were in group 45. Y/N L/N, Levi Ackerman, Christa Lenz, Zoe Hanji, Jean Kirstein and....

Oh god.

Not him.

But even as you forced yourself to look away, and then look back, his name didn't change.

His damned name.

Franz Kefka.

But then you remembered - Jean had received a third year! Jean was meant to be partnered with a third year boy, and Franz was in your year... What was going on? You left Isabel and the girls to find their own groups, and wormed your own way through the crowd until you spotted a familiar brown haired boy and hit him, very hard.

“OWCH! What was that for?”

“I thought your partner was a third year?!” You hissed at Jean, gripping his arm so that you two didn't get separated in the crowd that had slowly began to move, separating themselves into their groups. “I remember - you distinctly told me that you had a third year!”

Jean looked positively confused. “Franz Kefka? He is a third year, isn't he?” You hit him once more for his pure stupidity. He had merely assumed that his partner was a third year without doing any research into the person that he's meant to be partnered with?

“IDIOT!” You yelled, your eyes scanning the moving crowd for Franz, wondering how he’d survived, how he’d gotten here… Jean, however, had other ideas than to let you focus.  
“Wha -? SAY THAT TO MY FACE, LITTLE GIRL!”

“FINE. IDIOT!” You screamed into his face, which was fine because of the amount of talking in the hall as everyone found their groups. Jean, his arm linked around yours, began to lead you towards a corner, still yelling obscenities at you. You were fine with this, however, because you merely yelled them back louder.

“STUPID!”

“HORSEFACE!”

“DUMB!”

“MORON!”

“BRAATTSSS!!” Levi yelled, coming from nowhere and suddenly appearing in front of you. His eyebrows were twitching in the way that you knew he wanted to hit you both, but his eyes fell on Jean's arm - still linked through yours. His face fell into a fury, but he merely linked his arm through your other arm and dragged you away, which then resulted in both you and Jean being dragged towards the other end of the hall by Levi.

“We could have walked ourselves,” Jean muttered behind you, and you rolled your eyes at him. 

“Do you have a problem, Kirstein?” Levi's voice rang through the other voices in the area, and he wasn't even yelling. His voice was just so sharp, like a knife, slicing through all other sound. The silkiness of his phrase just sent shivers down your spine – at the threat implied, at the low purr of his voice.

It was no wonder that Jean immediately answered submissively. “N-no.”

“That's what I thought.”

You finally found your group, which wasn't hard - there was Hanji jumping on top of a table and watching the frenzy of movement with her eyes wide and gleaming. “Oi, shitty glasses,” Levi called, beginning to lead your entire team down a hallway to the side, “follow us.” You look around and immediately find him - Franz. He kept his eyes on someone in the crowd until the door shut behind you, and then he merely looked at the floor as though he wished that it would swallow him up.

To help yourself get a grip on yourself, you grab Krista's arm comfortingly as a guard joined you in the hallway. His voice rose above the slight clamour of sound that the hall was still making, despite your little distance from it. “You’re in group 45?”

“Yes,” Levi answers. You almost blinked at the blatant disrespect of his tone – at the monotone of it. The guard, it seems, didn’t appreciate it either.

“Yes sir,” corrects the guard, glaring at Levi and still managing to look pompous. “You are under my authority for the week. You will report to me once you've completed the duties that I will assign to you, and you're not to talk to another team whilst performing those duties. Is that understood?”

“Yes,” you answered, mirroring the same tone that Levi had used. Said male only quirked an eyebrow at you with quiet delight as the guard sighed.

The guard grits his teeth and his grey moustache ruffles as he again spat “yes sir.”

“I think you'll find that if anything, I am a ma'am, not a sir,” you tell him, your sincerity making his eyes glaze over. Christa immediately tugged at your sleeve, begging you not to torment him any further. It was too late however – the guard swelled with impressive anger, and Levi merely nodded his farewell to you as the man stood up in front of you and looked down.

“Just for that comment, you will all be cleaning the first floor of the castle. Just your group - no others. It'll take you all day, and you are not allowed to go to bed until it is all finished.”

***

“That was actually brilliant,” Jean chuckles, even as he ties a handkerchief around his face and grabs a duster. “But now we have to clean.”

“Relax,” you and Hanji chorus, with both of you looking out of the window into the courtyard. Christa sighs softly as she pulls a cloth around her face, seemingly comforted by the fact that her face was covered from the world. Levi had long since grabbed a broom and had sped off, ready to fulfil his life's calling to clean. Franz was staying by Jean's side, looking better than he had in the prison cell where you had seen him and not recognised his face from the bruises on it.

“Why do you want to relax?” Jean was saying as you focused more on other people than on memories of the prison. “If we don't get this done quickly, then we'll all go to bed late.”

“There's something you don't know about Levi, my young cadet,” Hanji said elaborately, dancing around the room with a cloth as though her very presence could wash away the dirt. “And it's that he could clean this entire castle in the time period of one day.”

You nod your head as you finally come away from the window and grab a bucket. “So, horseface... What was that you called me earlier?”

You advance on him with the bucket full of water, and enjoy watching Jean's colour drain out of his face. “Y/N... You wouldn't dare...”

“There were a few remarks that I wish to punish you for, actually... Dumb... Stupid... And what was the other one? Oh yes.”

“Have mercy, will you?”

“Y/N, please don't make a mess... The guard is already annoyed with you!” Christa reminded you gently, even as she backed away from you.

“Let him have it, Y/N!” Hanji cackled, grinning wildly at Christa.

You flashed a grin at them both before turning back to Jean. “Oh yes!” You snap your fingers as Jean reaches the door, and he readily opens it in order to sprint to freedom. “Was it... LITTLE GIRL?”

And with that, you chuck the entire contents of the bucket at Jean.

Unfortunately for you, that very moment Jean had opened the door.

And unfortunately for you, Levi had been behind that very door as Jean had opened it as you chucked the water over him.

So overall, it was very unfortunate.

But even as a dripping Levi chased you around the castle cursing your name and threatening to murder you with a broom once he'd caught up with you, passing several groups of students and making them grin at your situation, you couldn't stop yourself from laughing and smiling.

You were Y/N L/N, and you had been forced into a nightmare situation in a world with cannibalistic creatures who wished to kill all of humanity, and you had had several nasty encounters. You were partnered with a boy who would not stop tormenting you, annoying you and amusing you greatly.

But even so...

You laughed and didn't care who heard you.

***

By the time of the fourth day of the school trip, you were considering murdering your guard. He still insisted that your entire group used 'sir' when talking to him, but none of you apart from Christa actually deigned to refer to him as such. Perhaps that was why, you mused as you cleaned the fourth floor of the castle, Christa was being let off the cleaning duties. 

At the start of everyday, it was either you, Jean or Levi to annoy the guard by coming up with some witty remark, and then he had told you to clean another floor of the castle. That was all you had done; annoy the guards, clean the floor and have a great amount of fun whilst doing so. Franz had yet to talk to anyone, as he kept his eyes on the floor and cleaned it silently. 

It wasn't too bad - all of the other groups were being put up to other duties that were far less desirable than just cleaning. Sasha had already managed to get herself banned from the kitchens, and she was always put on yard work with the rest of her group - group 37. You liked them, because it had Sasha, Connie, Mina and Farlan in it. The other two you didn't recognize, but they still smiled at you all the same. Every time you could, you would rush to the nearest window, open it and yell down to them. 

Of course, you couldn't let the chance to drench them all go to waste either. After showering them with the water from the nearest bucket, Sasha had flatly refused to talk to you and Connie could not stop laughing at her stricken face. Farlan, however, merely flicked his wet hair out of his face and grinned slyly up at you. After that, you hadn't doused them again - if only because Levi had nearly murdered you after group 37 had trekked all of the mud back onto the first floor.

You were dozing now, high up on top of a cupboard in a random room. A window was propped open nearby, and a lovely breeze was dancing across your face to counter the heat from the sun. Curled up as you were, you couldn't help but give yourself over to the sleep that cooed to you in the nearby distance. Jean was nearby, sitting against the door to stop anyone else coming in - namely, Levi. 

“Y/N,” Jean yawned, closing his eyes and leaning against his bunched up jacket. “What is the meaning of life?”

“That's way too deep,” you complained, yowling softly as you adjusted your position, like a cat. 

“But seriously, there's got to be more than just fighting titans.”

“Of course there is more,” you tell him, not opening your eyes and basking in the heat. “I think that the meaning of life is to find your own meaning.”

“Oh... Then what would mine be?”

“I can't tell you, idiot. Didn't I just say that you've got to find your own?”

“So what's yours?” Jean asked, and you could tell that he was on the brink of sleep himself, “because you strike me as the girl who knows exactly everything about herself.”

“I want to save others so that they have the chance to find their meaning. I don't want to be the princess of a story, locked away and unable to help myself. I want to be the warrior who saves the helpless and slays the dangerous beasts of this world.”

“That sounds like an awesome meaning,” Jean murmurs, dropping into sleep. “Can I be the warrior at your side?”

“What?”

“Well, sometimes the dangerous beasts can be too much. So it kind of makes sense if Marco and I were at your side to help… You know, to stop you from bragging too much.”

You felt your eyes tear up at the now sleeping Jean. It was almost too cute - he didn't see any future without Marco at his side. He didn't see a future where he couldn't annoy you by being there constantly.

“Well, isn't that cute.”

You nearly fell off the top of the cupboard. Levi was at the window, peering in with a handkerchief around his face and a rag in his hand. “L-Levi! What are you doing here?”

“I'm supposed to be cleaning the outside of the windows, but I, instead, was listening to a rather interesting and depressing conversation about the life of two brats.”

“Hey!” You said, climbing carefully down from your comfortable bed and going to stand by the window. “Wait... How are you staying up?”

“3DMG,” he said, smugness radiating from everywhere. It was in the jaunt of his eyebrow, at the relaxed curve of his chest. “It's a titan killing machine that second years and above train how to use.”

“How does it work?” You breathe, leaning out the window and inspecting the boxes at the side of Levi's waist. They were awkward – and ugly. But you had to admit that despite their ungainly sight, he wore them well. Or maybe that was just his arrogance.

“I'll show you,” he said, and with a cruel grin he grabs your wrists and pulls you out of the window. You have a brief second of where time stops, and you see him watching you, and you see the meters of air separating you from the ground. And then time starts again and you're falling, flying, dropping towards the ground like a pebble thrown down an empty well. You don't scream - your terror was past that, past making any noises at all. 

But then arms wrap around you and you are truly flying.

Not falling at all - a twang and hiss of metal rings through your ears, and you open your eyes and watch as the world turns around you. You zoom away from the castle and then swing back, close enough to touch the sandy walls, and then sway your way back away from it. It is only then that you know that you are truly not going to fall, and then you dare to assess your situation.

In some kind of panic, you had wrapped your legs around Levi's hips and your arms were around his neck in something akin to a strangle hold - but his arms were around your waist, warm and strong, as his hands pull you closer to his body. You don't dare to pull away from him in order to see his face, because you feel that any movement could throw the 3DMG into disarray and accidentally swing you into the wall. 

So you focus on the sights around you, and try to ignore the heat that you can feel with your legs wrapped around his hips, ignore your chest pressed against his, and ignore his hands from where they were placed dangerously low on your back. 

The world spans out from underneath you. Grass fields covered in flowers and trees border the bottom of the tall walls, and the buildings build up on the hill until the many twisting roads reach the castle at the very centre of the city. If you squinted, you could see many groups watching from the top of the walls around the castle, and the many groups on patrol around the private grounds of the castle. 

“Impressed, are we?”

His voice, deep and husky, whispered through the air to reach your ears. You must have shivered, because Levi gripped at the small of your back more firmly, more surely. You arch your back, trying to get away from the demanding touch, and squeal as Levi drops his hands to your thighs and pull them higher along his waist before running them up your legs to grip at your waist again. 

“Don't get any ideas,” he chuckles, shooting another wire at a wall so that you swung closer, “I just don't want to deal with the paperwork if you fall.” You bit back the retort that you weren’t getting any ideas – which may have been a complete lie – but instead settle with a growl as Levi lands on the very top of the castle again, the two wires snapping back into place in the boxes. Your heart was hammering, although you don't recall being very scared about the height that you were at. Before you could calm yourself, Levi's hands were on your thighs again and were lifting them down from their tight grip around his hips. You immediately relaxed them, but Levi hadn't been prepared to take your full weight and so you fell onto the ground with a thump.

The raven haired man laughed at you, before turning and walking back down the stairs to continue washing the outside of the windows. “That,” he purred, looking around at you, “is how 3DMG works, Y/N.”

“I hate you!” You yell at him before he disappears, and you rush down to the girl's dormitories to relax for the rest of the afternoon.


	13. Chapter 13 - The Dare

The rest of the girls came after they had done with their tasks, and all of you sat in a circle as they all decide that they want to have some fun. Annie joins in with an impassive look, but Isabel and Sasha both look delighted. 

“So, Christa - truth or dare?” Sasha jumps right in, causing Christa to blush deeply.

“I don't know... Can I pass?” The girl glanced both ways, trying to find a way out of her situation, but Sasha and Isabel merely exchanged evil grins. You almost shuddered at the eager light in their eyes.

“Only if you accept the forfeit!” Isabel cackles evilly, and Christa groans. “In case you were wondering, the forfeit is to kiss the person on your right!”

“Oh! That's it?” Christa turns and pecks Mina on the forehead, apologizing profusely. Ymir glares at Isabel in the way that you knew it would be lucky if Isabel survived the night. “So, erm... Sasha, truth or dare?” The rest of the surrounding group took in a breath as one, the tension rising higher as the bawdy girl was called on.

“DARE!” Sasha yells, her eyes gleaming. You hoped you were imagining it as you noted how her body started jigging, bouncing with tension.

“Okay... I dare you to go to the kitchen and come back with enough food to feed all of us!”

Sasha was gone before you could blink. You turned to Christa with mild irritation. “You know that she's just going to eat all of it, right?”

“I know that,” Christa winks, “but she looked so pitiful that I had to give her an excuse to go and get herself some food.”

“You're too nice,” Isabel tells her as Sasha skids to a halt, her arms laden with bread. “WAIT - you're back already?”

“The kitchen is just down the corridor,” Sasha reminds her with her mouth full. She throws a loaf at you, which you gratefully accept. “So, Annie... Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Annie says. You glance at her, surprised. You had expected her to go with truth - the option that seemed a lot simpler, a lot less effort. Annie, sensing your gaze, glared at you with eyes of ice, and you were reminded about the tattoo on her collarbone, about how there were some truths that even she probably didn’t want to face.

“I dare you to challenge Ymir san to a glaring contest!”

“How does one have a glaring contest?” You ask, and Sasha looks confused for a moment before recovering.

“Easy! The first one to smile loses!”

“That is easy,” Annie grumbles, “so we'll just do it throughout the game. Is that alright with you, Ymir?” Even as she said it, you doubted that even if it wasn’t alright, Annie would not have cared in the slightest.

Even as you thought it, Ymir just shrugged. “Sure... But I'll win.”

Annie huffed what might have been the ghost of a laugh, derision written on every one of her features. “I doubt it. Isabel, truth or dare?”

Isabel brightens. “Truth!”

Annie grins evilly, and even Sasha stiffened in preparation of her question. “Out of all the boys in Survey Corps, who would you rather kiss?”

Isabel darkens. “Dare!”

You raise an eyebrow at the obvious excursion as Annie continued, faster than an arrow. “I dare you to tell me, out of all the boys in Survey Corps, who would you rather kiss?”

Isabel's face steadily turns as red as her hair as all of the girls lean in to hear her answer. “...Farlan...”

The girls dissolved into chatter at that. You caught snippets of “Really? He's quite hot; I wouldn't mind kissing him, good choice!” As they fell into ranking the hotness of the boys, only you really noticed that Isabel's answer went much deeper than just confessing that she'd like to kiss him. You pat her hand and smile at her to show her that you understood even if no one else did. But a moment later, you regretted that kindness. “So, Y/N!” Isabel recovers quickly, grinning widely and drawing everyone else's attention back to the game. “Truth or dare?”

“Can I just do the forfeit?” You ask, looking to your right, and seeing Annie. She looks up in surprise, before looking at you impassively in such a way that you weren't sure if she was furious or pleased. 

“Nope,” Isabel says, making a tutting noise and wagging her finger, “because the forfeit changes every time someone does it!”

“That's not a rule!” You tell her, but she cuts you off vigorously.

“Well, I'm making it a rule! The forfeit now is to go and kiss the person that you have a crush on!” You rolled your eyes, trying to persuade everyone watching that you couldn’t care less.

But - oh god. “I don't have a crush on anyone though, so what would I do?” It was true... Maybe. A crush was someone you'd like to go on dates with and kiss... You didn't like anyone like that. Sure, Farlan was nice, but you wouldn't want to go on another date and just be used as a listening machine. What you felt for Farlan wasn't what you'd call a crush.

“Alright, Pride... You're always difficult. Just choose truth or dare!” Isabel leant forward and hit you lightly on the knee. 

“Fine... Dare!” You couldn’t bear to follow up a truth like Isabel’s – there was something about your pride and wanting it to survive the night that would not allow you to state ‘truth’. Isabel smiled.

“I dare you to kiss the last person that touched you!”

***

“But I patted your hand!” You hissed as the girls shoved you out of the dorm in the middle of the night. 

“That was you touching me... I want you to kiss who last touched you!” Isabel could barely contain her glee as she danced through the corridors with a lithe step, making sure to cushion her footfalls. A small group of girls were following the two of you, giggling as they understood that you were indeed stalking to where the boys were staying. 

“Isabel, I hate you,” you say as they all follow you around the corridors of the castle. You had planned to just wander around a little bit before returning, but Sasha had stamped on that plan by telling everyone that she wanted to see who actually had the nerve to actually touch you. 

You knew who had touched you last. Hell, you knew very well.

But as you reached the door of the boy's dormitory, you realized that there were several things that you did not know.

Like what you were going to do after you had opened the door; the longer that you stared at it, the more dangerous it looked. It didn’t matter that it was just a chunk of wood; what mattered what was on the other side. Levi was on the other side... And you were supposed to kiss him.

It wasn't that you didn't want to kiss him - which you didn't, of course - but in front of everyone? That was not how you wanted to be seen. You were Y/N L/N, the detached killer at the side of everything with a sharp and focused mind. Not Y/N, the girl who made doe eyes at her main rival... Because that was all Levi was to you!

Totally.

You were never one for lying to yourself.

As the girls paused to jitter at how you were just staring at the door in stunned silence, you turned and grabbed Isabel’s arm. “Isabel! I don't want to do this!”

Isabel looked at you with wide eyes and tapped your hand until you released your death grip. “It's just a dare, Y/N! What's up?”

“I don't want to kiss anyone!” Your whisper was high-pitched, sounding almost frantic – which only caused all of the girls to look at you in curiosity. Sasha sent a quizzical to Annie, who had tagged along just to amuse herself, it would seem. You didn’t want to appear weak in front of Annie. Noting your scanning gaze, Sasha smiled at you before poking her tongue out at you.

“Are you wimping out of a dare, Pride?” She teased. Your eyes freeze on her with a ferocity that makes her do a double take and drains the colour from her face. Regardless of the death glare you were giving her, her chin tilted higher, more obstinately. “Well? Are you?”

“No, I can't.” You say it as you think it through. Your damned pride again was a problem... If you didn't go through with this, then the girls that you were with would make sure that the news got around the school within an hour. “Just... Stay away from me.”

And you heave open the door. 

Since it was still late evening, most of the boys were up and talking to each other. Some were shirtless, and you immediately looked coldly on, presenting the cold mask of the assassin that everyone knew the name of. The Y/N that they knew wouldn't blush at a boy's chest, and so you didn't. You just met their eyes with an unimpressed stare and dismissive glance, leaving them confused as you walk into their dormitory.

Reiner and Bertoldt rushed to meet you, nothing but curiosity on their features. “How come you're here, Y/N? I was sure there was a rule about ‘no girls allowed in the boy’s dorm’ and that sort of stuff –“

Bertoldt cut his louder friend off by placing his hand on the crook of his elbow. His eyes scanned you carefully, from head to toes, and quietly asked, “are you looking for someone?”

“Yes, sorry to intrude,” you say without so much as a hint of apology in your tone. Bertoldt, glanced quickly at you, and then his eyes went back to the door – where the rest of the girls had stayed, crowding around the narrow space. Annie’s eyes somehow found you, even as she loomed at the back, and you coughed lightly. Both boys took a hint, Bertoldt ducking his head, and walked back to where the first year boys were sat around their section of bunks. Due to the lack of room, the first and second years of boys would have to share a dormitory... And so you knew everyone here.

So when Farlan came to meet you with Levi on his heels, you glanced behind you to where the girls were watching every move with sharp eyes. Boys pretended not to see them and skirted around them, not taking their eyes off you either. “Yo,” you say to them briefly, ignoring the amused gaze that Levi stripped you down with. Instead of glaring or smirking, you turn on your heel and follow Reiner towards the first year boys and where they were huddled.

Seeing Levi look at you made you lose your nerve. His piercing gaze had shone through you and you had known that there was no way that you'd kiss him in front of everyone... Particularly not with Farlan there. You weren't that cruel to the people that were close to you. Hurting Farlan would mean, inevitably, hurting Isabel too... And you couldn't do that to her. Even despite the fact that this infernal dare was her idea in the first place.

So you waltzed your merry way up to the first year party and deliberately stood on Jean's fingers, where they were splayed on the floor. As the males were all gathered in a rough circle, with some on the floor and some perched on the edges of their bunks, you were lucky that the brown-haired boy was on the floor. 

The yell he made in response was very impressive. Any person not already looking at you were most definitely glaring at you now. Jean stood up immediately, clutching his fingers and advanced on you, baring his teeth at you. You didn't move at all, didn't show that you were scared or wary of him. So when he grabbed your arm, you sent a smug glance at Isabel from where she was watching at the door, grabbed Jean's collar and kissed him.

You had meant to kiss him on the cheek or forehead, but the way that he had cocked his head in shock had meant that you had kissed him... Right on his lips. You immediately pushed him away before it went any further, and he fell to the floor in a shocked silence. Marco gaped at you, and Connie started spluttering with what you hoped was laughter and not disgust. Bertoldt and Reiner shot a wary look between them and began sniggering from where they were looking at the spectacle. 

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” Jean yelled, recovering quickly. You didn’t miss the shocked look in his eyes, or how his hands were fisted at the base of his shirt.

You rolled your eyes, ever the petulant student. “It was a dare, Jean.”

“WHAT WAS THE DARE?”

“The girls told me to kiss a horse. As I couldn't be bothered to visit the stables, I came here instead.” The lie came quickly, naturally and flowed so that no one except the girls waiting outside knew it to be untruthful. And after the glare that you sent their way, you knew that they'd keep their mouths shut. After all, most of the people around you were crying with laughter at the look of flushed fury on Jean's face - including Isabel and Sasha.

You stalked your way out of the room and carelessly waved at the boys before shutting the door with a light click. Dragging the girls back to your own dormitory, Sasha complained at you. “So Jean was the last one to touch you?”

“You saw him touch me, Sasha,” you told her. She blinked at the barely veiled arrogance in your voice before you deigned to explain. “Don’t you remember? He grabbed my arm after I stood on his fingers.”

“That wasn't the dare!” Isabel started to object and then fell silent, realizing that you - of course - were right. 

“Working around the rules is part of an assassin's job,” you winked at her before throwing them inside and shutting the door so that you were left outside. You wanted a bit of a walk to clear your head. So as you strolled outside and sat under a twisting oak tree, you looked up at the night sky and wondered.

It wasn't one thing in particular that you were wondering about. You just allowed your mind to unravel and think about anything that came up.

“What the rutting hell was that, L/N?”

Levi's voice snapped at you, breaking you out of your reverie. You didn’t dare open your eyes to see the face that went with the angered voice. “It was a kiss, Ackerman. I understand if you haven't witnessed anything like that before. It's not like you get that much of it yourself.”

You opened your eyes then, wondering at his silence. His eyes assessed you, dark grey looking into E/C. He was leaning against the tree that you were sitting at the base of, and his raven hair danced in the light breeze that accompanied the summer night. “Back to biting remarks, are we?”

“Back to sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong, are we?”

The banter was empty, meaningless. Part of the reason that you had wanted to take the walk was to get out of the Y/N character that everyone knew. Sometimes that mask took over and dominated you for a while. It was just so easy to be her, the Y/N L/N, the greatest assassin who had no trouble putting people down in the dirt and making them stay there. It was so easy to have and control that power that she possessed, that she used to her advantage... Everything in some way was Y/N's advantage.

But every now and again you liked to take that mask off and breathe and become the softer creature that hid behind the mask. Levi had obviously seen behind the mask - you weren't sure how he had, because sometimes you hadn't even realized that you hadn't taken it off. That was why he had no trouble snapping right back at you.

“Why did you kiss him?” Levi's voice came sharper now, more demanding. It grated on your nerves - were you not at liberty to kiss whomever? 

“I'd hardly call that a kiss,” you said, raising an eyebrow.

“Stop evading the question. Why did you kiss him?”

“Because of the dare?”

“You would really stoop that low to fulfil a dare?!”

The fury in his voice made you stop your sarcastic moves and look at him. His eyes held no twinkle, no light within the endless pools of grey that were threatening to swallow you up, and his hands were twitching in the way that you knew he was itching to form them into fists. “It was my choice,” you started to say, but Levi's aura only grew more choking and deadly, and so you stopped talking immediately. You weren't stupid - you knew that any second he'd throw a fist right into your face.

“Choice - you think that it's okay to whore yourself out, to kiss just anybody? For a dare?!” Levi's voice rose into a yell, and he took one step towards you. 

“Hang on!” You shouted; he wasn't the only one who could get angry. You flung out a hand, palm towards him – a clear sign to stop, shut up and listen. “It was just a kiss! Don't you dare try and control me and what I do! Don't you dare!”

“Well if you aren't going to control yourself, who the hell is?”

That's when he threw a hand out to grab your collar, probably to try and shake some sense into you. You were already waiting, however - you had known and predicted the move right from the moment that fury had danced its way in to his voice. So you swatted his hand away and punched him right on the jaw.

The force behind it sent him falling down over the tree root so that he landed in the dirt. You drew on the mask again, becoming the assassin, becoming who the world needed you to be. “You want to talk about control? Control yourself,” you spat at him, walking towards the door. 

***

You didn't see Levi very much over the next few days, because he would always linger at your back and made it very hard to feel at ease. The punch that you had thrown had caused a bruise to bloom at the base of his jaw, and although you felt no regret for what you did, you had to admit that Levi wore it well. There were no signs of him trying to cover it, nor treat it. He just wore it like a trophy, like another shadow on his past.

But today had been the last day of training with the military police, and your entire school was now in the extensive gardens of the castle. Lanterns were lit everywhere, and guards and students alike mingled around the grass, talking and discussing what you were all here for.

You, Isabel and Annie were together on the outskirts of the little gathering. It had been announced that after the sun had gone down, you were all expected to gather near the pits. The pits were exactly how you had imagined them - they had been dug into the ground, two meters down from the surface, and were at least twenty meters wide in each direction. There were around five of them there, so you weren't exactly sure what they were there for. 

“SILENCE!” Pixis yelled across the field, and everyone turned to the makeshift stage that Pixis was perched on - about four crates stacked precariously on top of each other. “Everybody, the activity that will follow has been a tradition for the school and its students every time this trip has come into effect!”

You looked alongside at Isabel, who shrugged her shoulders with a grin. The trip only took place every three years, so no one had yet experienced the so called 'tradition' - not even the third years. Annie just looked bored as you glanced at her, and Sasha wasn't even listening as she snacked on the many potatoes that she had sneaked into her pockets. “I want all of the groups that end in either 0 or 1 to go to the first pit!”

Armin patted you on the shoulder as he moved towards the nearest pit - he was in group 31. It worked out similar to the first... The groups that ended in 2 or 3 went to the second; 4 and 5 went to the third; 6 or 7 went to the fourth and then 8 or 9 went to the last pit at the edge of the field. You grinned at Isabel, who had whispered to you that she was in group 44 and so went to the same pit as you. 

“Now get into your partners. This activity will require you to fight another pair within the pit... And the pair that loses has to go back to the school early and continue their studying.”

Your blood started to hum... A fight... A proper fight! You could get a good work out in... People gave you a scared glance before they shuffle around, trying to find their partners. You knew that they were all hoping and wishing that they didn't have to fight you.

Jean grabbed your elbow, trying to stay with you as the school began to move in the dark - he had seemingly forgotten about this kiss ages ago, because he hadn't mentioned it once. “Going back to school wouldn't be too bad, I suppose... It means that we wouldn't have to clean another floor on this wretched castle!”

Pixis grinned wider with a more sadistic gleam in his eyes, as though he had somehow heard Jean’s declaration. “Yes! They will continue their studying... With Shadis leading it!”

Jean gaped at the headmaster as silence swept across the field. Shadis at the head of training? No. A death sentence would be easier and quicker. “Screw this, I'm going to win...” Jean muttered before rushing to find Franz, his hand slipping from your elbow. Christa looked terrified as Hanji jigged around, unable to stand still with her excitement. 

“Don't worry,” Levi whispered into your ear, “Hanji can fight anyone even when she's asleep. Miss Lenz will be alright.” Even though your heart jumped, you refused to show any physical signs of him surprising you. Levi picked up on your purposeful silence within seconds. “Ignoring me?”

You felt your anger flare. “Depends. Are you going to insult me?”

“Always.”

“Then I'm alright,” you tell him. It wouldn't be Levi if he didn't insult you, if you couldn't tease each other and push each other to the limits. Only you could decide what broke you – and it wouldn’t be this. “So what are you doing here?”

“Y/N,” he sighed. “We're partners.”

Oh. 

Levi was going to fight with you. You two would fight others together. What had Erwin been thinking? No one could be a match for the two of your together! You wanted a decent fight, but with Levi at your side it would be over with quickly, cleanly and without you even busting a sweat. 

“I can take care of everything if you want –“ Levi offered with a crooked smile.

“You do that, and I'll punch your lights out,” you tell him, smirking back. He knew how you hungered for the fight - he was just teasing. Playing.

The guards had gathered around, eagerly watching - for them, this was entertainment. Your guard, you noticed, was watching your pit. He would see you fight... He would see how easily you could have put him in his place if you had let yourself. That fact alone made you eager to get into the deep pit, to flex your muscles and stretch your fist. Another guard, one with a higher status, unrolled a scroll of names.

“Y/N L/N and Levi Ackerman, enter the pit.”

You daintily lowered yourself in, displaying every ounce of assassin's grace that you were supposed to. What luck! Your fight was first! You eyed the guard above you, rocking back on his heels idly. The man looked at you down his nose, and you could feel the rebellion in your blood as you recognised the dismissiveness in his eyes. It was how you often looked at others. But never, never had anyone looked at you that way.

You were going to wipe that look right off of his face. 

You didn't like the height of the pit's walls now that you were enclosed by them, but the pit itself was as wide as a pool – plenty of space, a small voice at the back of your mind whispered, the voice that sometimes spoke to you in battle or fights. “Remember, the aim is unconsciousness, or until the other pair yield because they cannot fight – there is no serious maiming or killing to be done here,” the guard said – clearly, carefully. 

“Got it,” Levi told him, and tugged you to the side. 

The guard went back to his scroll and read out another name, a name that you hated, a name that gave you a rush of delight. But then he read out the partner's name, and your blood stilled. You looked at Levi, who looked at you with cold grey eyes. You didn't know what to do.

“Petra Ral...”

 

“And Isabel Magnolia.”


	14. Chapter 14 - The Revenge

The night was crawling on, but the guards mentoring all of you were adding more lanterns, which flickered through the creeping darkness. The castle was at your back, and it towered over you all dominantly. The grey stone walls looked imperiously dark against the darkness of the night sky, and lights within the castle were shown by the glass windows from which shadows could be seen dancing around. 

It wasn't dark enough for stars or the moon yet, but that didn't stop you from seeing everything from where you were two meters deep in the ground.

You watched as Isabel jumped into the pit, her eyes already on yours and nibbling her lip slightly. You narrowed your eyes into slits and walked up to her. “I thought your partner was a third year,” you hissed with venom, “and that you walked her into one day. Since when is Petra a third year?”

“I lied to you,” Isabel whispered back, indignant, “because I knew how mad you'd be if you found out that Erwin had placed me with Petra. I didn't want you to worry.”

“Look at where that's got us!” You exclaim, gesturing widely at the pits. Dot Pixis was still organizing the other pits, so you still had a few minutes left. Petra was merely looking at Levi, as still and watchful as the dark haired man behind you. Were you imagining the pleading look in her eyes as she gazed at your partner? Every part of you itched to take part in this fight, to have revenge, to hurt the ginger-haired girl as she had hurt you. But you wouldn’t – couldn’t - hurt Isabel. “I now have to surrender, dammit!”

“Wait - What?” Isabel looked stunned and you almost felt the man behind you stiffen with emotion of the same. “No! Why the hell would you surrender?”

“Do you not get the situation that we're in? One of us has to go back to school, and like it or not, it's going to be me. I couldn't live with myself if I struck you.”

Isabel looked at you with wide eyes. “Y/N... You'd really surrender your pride for me - just because you don't want to hit me?”

“Well, yeah...” You watch her. You didn't see another alternative... You'd never hit Isabel.

“In that case...” Isabel raced towards the guard with her hand outstretched. “I surrender!”

The guard looked positively taken aback. “You'll do what? Without fighting?”

She climbed out of the pit with feline ease, the crows surrounding the pit silent with shock. Isabel rolled her eyes and pointed at you from where you still stood frozen where she had left you. “Don't you know who that is? That's Y/N L/N and I will not ever fight her. I don't have a death wish.”

“There's no way that she's that good...” The guard trailed off as you looked at him with a deathly glare that you reserved for people that you really hated. “You'll be going home then, girl.”

“I know,” Isabel grinned, flashing you with her dazzling teeth, “but that isn't the worst thing in the world. The worst thing right now would be facing that girl in this stupid battle.”  
And with that, her face sunk back into the crowd gathering around your pit as the guard circled her name on his scroll. As he then considered what only crossing a single name off would ensue. “I don't know the procedure for this,” he says, looking at you and Levi up against Petra, “so can one of you step out? You'll just face another pair later... I think...”

Your blood hummed in your veins as you thought about the fact that you'd get two fights. You swirl around and face Levi, and he looked interested in your eager face for a moment. You only had to say two words to get him to understand your anger, and watched him back off and climb out of the pit with surprising agility. 

“She's mine.”

***

Petra looked sternly at you, squatting lightly on her legs. “I won't lose,” she tells you, and you hold back a laugh. Maybe it was pure arrogance, that laughter. But perhaps it was also your blood pounding for a fight, that inexplicable urge to move your muscles in a dance. 

“When you put me through hell,” you say quietly, so only she could hear, “I didn't have the strength to make you pay for it, and that's why I let you get away. But now, Petra... Now, there's nothing to stop me.”

“Oh, but there is!” Petra smiles and raises her fists, her face illuminated by the nearest lantern. You cast your eyes around, to try and spot Levi’s reaction to your words, to your meaning – but the people’s faces merely bled together into a giant blur. Petra spoke again, drawing your attention back to her. “My own two fists will stop you... Just wait and see!”  
The guards monitoring all of the pits blew their whistle in unison, and Petra only had time to blink before you were right beside her.

Your leg flew out as she tried to dance away, and she would have tripped if it weren't for her fast instincts. You had to give the girl some credit. She lifted her feet high, knowing that your aim was to trip her, and you took a step back as Isabel's voice soared above all of the others in the crowd. You heard her voice clearly, above the sounds of scuffles and thuds and shouts from both the watchers and the other pits.

“What are you doing, Pride? Aren't you giving her the fair chance?”

You groaned, but the sound was empty and you knew it. Maybe Petra didn’t deserve the small mercy that you were doing her – but Isabel was right. Everyone deserved the small mercies of a world filled with hardship. So you stood still, fighting the instincts that begged you to keep moving, and began counting. 

The girl wasted no time in your stationary state. Petra whipped around and slapped you full on the face, whipping your face to the side, before raising her leg and catching you on your hip. You didn't blink or react to the kick; you just stood stock still and continued counting, and watching every movement of her eyes, her fingers, her feet... You immersed yourself in her mannerisms as she continued to hit and kick to the best of her ability.

“What's she doing?” The guard said to Isabel, confusion reining his high voice. You had to admit that the sight that you were making, to someone who wasn't familiar to your fighting habits, it had to look odd; the strangely scary girl just standing and taking a beating from her opponent.

“Just wait, trust me. She’ll show you why we call her the best.”

The number of seconds that you had counted then reached sixty, and you flashed a snake's smile at Petra. She faltered in her movement of trying to punch you, just a waver of the fist, and then you moved.

You didn't just move. One moment her eyes were on you, looking smug because she had thought that she was winning. The next, you were shadow and wind, and you couldn't be seen as you whipped yourself around the girl, smirking as she stumbled in trying to follow your movements.

Then your leg flew out and caught her in the small of her back, a movement that you normally put enormous power behind... But that would have broken her back - and that would mean that the fight was over. The move was strong enough to make her fall to the ground with a sharp thud, the girl already sobbing. Her breath came in rushes, the effect of the kick. She lunged out, randomly and desperately trying to catch you, and you almost laughed.

Almost. Now was not the time for laughter.

Instead of laughing, you punched her right in the face to make up for the slap she had given you earlier, and her jaw went slack as she screamed in both pain and fury. As her face turned with the force of your punch, her arm came up to try and drag you with her, but you caught one of her fingers with two of yours.

She looked up at you with frightened hazel eyes, not moving anything else - she understood the threat of her finger in yours. 

“Now,” you said, “did you know what those titans in that prison cell did?” She only widened her eyes, tears forming as her bottom lip trembled. You stood on one of her knees lightly, watching as her words failed to come out because of sheer terror. “Well, first of all, they made my knees bloody...” You pressed harder on her knee until you knew that it would bruise. Petra whimpered, trying to drag herself away from you, but stopped when you twisted her finger towards you. “Then, I hurt my head so badly that I could only see blurs of colours and lights...”

You punched her just hard enough on her temple so that her eyes went unfocused and focussed again, only to blur again. Her other hand twisted at her face, and for one moment you thought that she was going to claw at her face, but instead she gripped her mouth closed as she screamed a high pitched wail.

You stopped moving then – and later you would say that it was because the expression on the girl’s face was only terror; terror at what you were doing, terror that she might actually die. But in reality, it was because you’d seen something else.

You had lost yourself in the dance of death, a whirlwind of hate and pain, causing the girl in front of you to turn into a bloody mess... But you hadn't stopped, hadn’t put a single foot out of place until your eyes had met the steel grey of another, who was watching silently in the audience. You hadn't realized that your vision had turned red until that moment, and the revelation came that you were grinning madly at the sight of the blood trickling down her face. You had lost yourself in bloodlust for a moment... Petra was very lucky to be alive. You moved forward to finish it then, to knock her into unconsciousness. You didn’t want to hurt her anymore. You shouldn’t have wanted to in the first place – but the need to make her realise what you’d gone through, because of her actions and stupidity, had been overpowering.

But then your eyes met the same steel grey as before, and you knew that you couldn't do it.

You crouch by her as she drags herself away into a corner. She curls in on herself in the way that you knew she was hurting. “Surrender,” you told her quietly, “before I have to hit you again.”

“I won't!” Her voice came too quickly, too loud. It told you that she too, had a certain amount of pride that she couldn't give up. 

“I meant what I said - I don't want to kill you. But I've given you your lesson, and I now forgive you. We went through the same amount of pain, and so I see no reason to give you any more. I don't trust you, but I forgive you.”

“You think that I care about your forgiveness? You think that I care about you?”

“You care about me,” you tell her, “don't you remember? When I came back for my teammates, and you told me that I was a good person. And then I came back for you, and you stabbed me in the back... And so I was angry. But I've repaid the pain now... And so I forgive you. And you care about that, don't you?”

“Shut up,” she whispered, and you smiled because her tone indicated that you were right in your statement. She raised a trembling hand, and the guard rushed over to her in order to hear the injured girl's words. “I surrender. I'll go home.”

***

As you climbed out of the pit in order for the next fight, the crowd parted so that a path was formed for you. They were in stunned awe, although the first years looked more used to it than the second and third years, who had obviously never thought it was possible for a first year to beat a second. And Petra was one of the best, being part of the 'Special Operations' squad. You watched Petra and Isabel walk back to the castle along with a few others who had obviously lost, to pack their belongings. They were going to be riding back to school as soon as the sun had risen, which was only a few hours before the rest of you were leaving to head to the official Survey Corps, the actual scout and assassination organisation that the school was part of. 

You turned to find Levi, which wasn't hard - he was watching Petra go as well. 

“I... I've never seen anyone fight like that...” Levi said, keeping his eyes firmly on you. You were scared for a moment, wondering if he would now look on you with the same terror as most other people did. But there was nothing in those grey eyes except the cool honesty you’d come to expect with the male. “You weren't lying when you said that you could beat me, were you?”

You smiled slightly. “No, I wasn't.”

“And you gave her a minute... And then you still beat her, even though she got a few decent hits in.”

You pouted, not liking his appraising tone. “Did she? I didn't notice.”

“You're such a brat.”

“Why did you stop me fighting her?” At Levi's carefully blank look, you rolled your eyes. “When I was lost in the fight, I saw you looking at me like - like I was dangerous. Like I was a monster. And it snapped me out of it, and then when I went to hit her again, you looked at me with more panic... And it was only because of that that I stopped and told her to surrender.”

Levi was very careful not to look at anything except your face. “Did I? I didn't notice.”

You scowl at him and turn to watch Jean's fight, which he and Franz won. They were fighting a pair of second years, but it seemed to you that their age didn't matter. Franz had knack for hitting exactly the right areas - a skill picked up from his skill as a swordsman, you knew. If you and Franz were to go head to head with swords, he'd win in skill, you knew that for certain. But you'd win in the end, because you had the assassin's knack for playing very dirty.

Jean clambered out clumsily and picked his way through the crowd. Somewhere along the way, he spotted you and stalked over to punch you in the arm. “My fight was way better than yours!”

You scoff, poking him in the cheek. “Like hell it was.”

“Well, from what I hear, your fight wasn't a fight. It was more like a one sided massacre. I heard the guards talking about it as I was… Fighting…”

“You mean letting Franz do the work,” you smirk. “And my fight was fine – it’s all in the technicalities, horseface, mere technicalities.”

Jean flushed indignantly, before looking around over the heads of people at the varying crowds surrounding the pits. “I hope Marco won. The rest of the trip would suck if I'm just stuck with you, Ackerman and Yeager.”

“Marco's with Annie,” you laughed, “of course he'll win.” Then, something about Jean's words hit you. “Wait, what do you mean ‘Yeager’?”

Jean rolled his eyes yet again, pointedly ignoring you as you jabbed him in the side. “Yeah, keep up.”

“Who is that?”

Jean looked at you like you had another head. “Oh, I don't know. He's only the dumbass that you rescued from titans, who know yells that he'll be the one that will exterminate all of them... Odd fellow, you know?”

“Eren's last name is Yeager?!” You half-yelled the words, before shutting up. That doctor that had treated you all before, in school... He was Grisha Yeager. And Hanji had said that his entire family had been lost to the titans... And Eren had been! Hadn't you rescued them? And if the doctor could have stayed just an hour longer, maybe he could have seen his son. “Oh, this is bad...”

“It’s bad that you've known them for weeks now and still don't know that titan freak's last name... Honestly, Pride, you suck at friendships.”

“Obviously,” you replied, eyeing him with disdain, “that's why I ended up with you.”

Levi snorted, and you were startled for a second after remembering that he was by your side. The male easily blended in with the shadows when he had a mind to, smothering that insufferable aura that he displayed the rest of the time. You gave him a pretty, empty smile before patting Jean on the arm and turning on your heel, away from the crowds. Levi blinked for a moment before asking “where are you going?”

“I'm going to bed,” you tell Levi, heading back towards the castle and leaving him by the pits. Jean cast you a pleading glance that asked you not to leave him alone with Levi. “We've got an early start tomorrow, after all – travelling and everything. Also, I want to check something with Mikasa...”

Jean, realising that you were going to have no sympathy about leaving him with the scarily calm male, nodded an awkward farewell and walked with you towards the castle. You both bypassed several people and guards, the latter clearly just getting off duty and hurrying to watch the spectacle of students fighting others. He joined you in the scoffing at the guards until you both reached the girl's dormitory, where you found Annie and Marco waiting outside for you. “We knew that you'd win and want to get to bed soon after,” Marco told Jean with a smile, patting you on the elbow, “so we thought that we'd meet you here.”

You laughed and joked with Jean and Marco for a while before going into the dormitory with Annie. Changing into your F/C pajamas, you climb straight into your bunk and lift the collar of your nightdress to eye your collarbone.

The tattoo was still there.

It was still there, no matter how much you covered it up, no matter how much you forgot about its existence under your clothes. You turned over and saw Annie watching you with narrowed eyes, and so you quickly turned back and tried your hardest to fall asleep.

But it was still there, watching in the dark.


	15. Chapter 15 - The Fight

Farlan’s Point of View  
“I'm going to bed because we've got an early start tomorrow. Also, I want to check something with Mikasa...”

I watched the H/C haired girl say her goodbye to Levi before walking back up to the castle with her friend. I joined Levi from where he just stood there, motionless, watching her go. In all of my life, I'd never seen Levi watch another person walk away from him before. He'd always 'tch' at them like he couldn't care less, before turning and walking away with no thought to the other. But he watched this girl.

It wasn’t a predatory look, like I’d seen with other people. When Levi deigned to watch and scan others, it was normally because of the threat they posed – you could tell from the way that his eyes pinpointed their weak spots, their sensitive places. But he watched this girl with a fond tilt to his lips, as if making sure she got to the castle alright, as if he merely enjoyed watching her move. It was these thoughts that spurred me into movement, leaning towards him and breathing a question.

“Levi,” I said, “what are you doing?”

He didn't move, but I saw his grey eyes swivel and rest on me with a guarded expression. His eyes shuttered, carefully pondering what to tell me. I tried not to be insulted that he felt that he had to be careful around me, that he wanted to keep things from my knowledge. It was clear that he’d decided on reverting back to the insolent mask he presented to everybody as he coolly replied “I'm waiting.”

“Well, that's all very nice,” I replied, light sarcasm lacing my voice; two could play at the insolence game. “But what are you waiting for?”

“Answers. And my fight is coming up soon, so I have to mentally make myself hold back so that I don't murder a brat. The paperwork will be a pain in the ass.”

This was the Levi that I knew. He skirted around the question with an answer that wasn't the one that the question was asking for. But he did it so well that I doubt anyone except me could decipher it. But I could tell that Levi didn't want to talk, so I decided to oblige his schemes and just go with it. “I thought you were meant to be fighting with Y/N?”

This was how we lived before. Underneath this very city was where we grew up, the underground city that we had terrorized as children. It had been just Levi and I before Isabel had joined us, and it would always be like this very conversation; Levi not giving me any answers, and me just giving in and letting him think. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to not find out – but I respected the man too much to push him for answers. We had an easy-going relationship.

Levi grunted and crossed his arms, still looking at the huge doors that Y/N had gone through. “I was meant to be fighting with her, but the damn brat forgot. So I'll fight for her like she fought for me when Isabel surrendered.”

“I don't think that she was fighting for you,” I said, remembering Y/N's fighting skill with Petra. I'd heard about her prowess and skill... The people around school called her the dancer of death, Pride, the best. It was only know that I understood the murmured words of fear whenever Y/N L/N was concerned. “I think that she was fighting for herself.”

“She was, at the start,” Levi muttered, his eyes flashing with the memory.

“And then she just gave in,” I sighed, stretching my muscles lightly. “I couldn't tell whether I was fascinated or petrified.”

“She gave in because of me. I snapped her out of it by catching her eye at the last second.” Levi said, and I could tell that he was off in his own world of thoughts. I suppose that I should have been jealous, with Levi's claim of her stopping fighting because of one glance. But the funny thing was that I wasn't. There was no jealousy, no sadness, just an empty flicker of concern for the friend that was beside me. I decided not to comment on it, and then jumped as he snapped back into reality and turned his head towards me. His eyes were dark and the shadows on his face were sharp. “Farlan,” he growled, and I knew what was coming, “why are you here and not at your pit?”

“Erm...” I laughed nervously and ran my hand through my hair, subtly taking a step back. “Well, long story short, I was against Mike. You know, Erwin's friend?”

Levi froze and looked daggers at me. “You lost?”

“I lost,” I agreed grimly. “I'm going home with Isabel. I'll take care of her, don't worry.”

“I wasn't worrying about your worthless self at all,” Levi spits, his anger at me losing quite amusing. I didn't mind getting out of the city; I hated the place. It reminded me too much of the sprawling and dirty city beneath it, where so much had been lost and suffered for. Sure, Shadis would be horrible, but there were worse things in life. “I can't believe you lost to Mike!”

“Have you seen Mike?” I say exasperatedly. “That man is like a tree, and there was no way he was going to lose. I can’t believe that you can’t see that – although, I don't suppose you would've, from all the way down there.”

I had a split second to realize that I'd made a mistake. I started to stumble my way backwards, holding my hands up to show him that there was nothing in them. He just looked down at the ground and a dark aura emitted from him, causing me to break out in a small sweat. It didn't happen often, but when I pissed Levi off, I did it so spectacularly that he would want to kill me - then resurrect me just to slaughter me again.

Now was one of those moments. He took one step towards me, and I half-heartedly raised my hands to protect my head as I prepared myself for my incoming doom. Then, a few third years walked between the small gap between myself and Levi, walking towards Levi's pit.

I wouldn't have cared if I hadn't heard the name of the person that they were talking about.

“That Y/N is such a coward... Sure, she fought well, but what's the point if you can't finish the job?”

“I know - to think that everybody was terrified of a weak-willed nobody!”

“I heard that she got beaten up by a single titan... Talk about weak!”

“And then someone actually had to come and save her - seriously, if I was there, then I'd have quit the simpering little girlie act and kicked some butt. But no, silly coward just screamed and ran!”

They walked on their way towards the pit, where Connie and Sasha were fighting against two second years. I didn't take much more notice than that, because Levi just switched his murderous aura towards the third years and said three words.

“Take that back.”

They stopped walking, glancing back and then staring once they realize that Levi is talking to them. I stand by his side silently, knowing that there was nothing that I could say to stop him doing what he wants to do. “I'm sorry, second year,” one of the boys smirk, strutting his way back up the path to Levi. “I couldn't hear you from all the way up here.” The boy crouches down, making a mockery of Levi's height. I gritted my teeth in anger, despite the fact that I’d just exactly the same thing. “Can you repeat that? I must have missed it.”

Levi was surprisingly better at handling his anger than I was. “I told you to take what you were saying back. Want me to repeat it again?”

The third year laughed, looking back at his friends. “No. Are you a friend of the coward?”

I glance at Levi to watch his response. Levi's never actually admitted to having friends before - not to anyone. “Does it matter?”

“No, I suppose not.” The third year grinned. “I'm Boris Feulner, and that's Marlowe Sand and Hitch Dreyse.”

“I don't give a rutting hell who you are.” Levi growled, and I moved closer to him in warning. He didn’t stop glaring at them, and so I also shoot mental daggers at Boris’s head just to try and back Levi up.

“That's dangerous. We could beat you up so easily it isn't even funny, second year. Why does it matter to you anyway?”

I listen in, hoping to gain a little bit of a hint from Levi's actions. I'm disappointed though, as the guard watching over Levi's pit yells his name. “LEVI ACKERMAN AND Y/N L/N!”

Levi walks steadily over to the guard and talks to him for a few seconds, showing him a slip of paper. Before I can guess as to what the paper meant, Hitch comes closer to me. “Is that one always that moody?”

“Yes,” I answer honestly, before glaring at her with a higher intensity. “But that one is also my oldest friend, so I'd watch out with insulting him if I were you.”

“Why?” Hitch laughs, and the Boris joins in. Marlowe, her other companion, merely hung back, looking annoyed at his friends. “Are you going to beat me up?”

“No, unfortunately,” I sigh, “but he might do.”

I look over to where Levi is waiting in the pit - or I assume he is, because I can't see him due to his small height being in a two meter deep pit. The guard yells again, and to my confusion, he yells the three names of the third years in front of me. Why three of them?

Not willing to lose my cool, I flick my hair out of my face and look at them sympathetically. “Never mind what I just said. Levi doesn't care what you say about him... He's weird like that.” Boris looks at me, and then looks at the guard, and then at his companions. As he makes to walk off, I grab his arm in a tight grip and wrench him to me so that I can whisper a warning in his ear. “But you… You talked about her. And that's what he cares about.”

***

I watch as the three third years climb into the pit, obviously wondering why three of them were up against Levi. The guard briefs them quickly. “There are an odd number of people, so the three of you will be against him. The side that loses goes home. Are there any questions?” 

“Well, yeah!” Boris drawls, looking at the raven haired man in the corner. “How do we not pulverize him?” I hear Hitch laugh a high, drawn out laugh whilst Marlowe stays silent. I glance down at Levi, wondering. To fight required effort - and Levi was not normally one to go to this amount for a simple streak of insults. But I knew that it went a bit deeper than just a few insults. They were a few insults aimed at her. I liked Y/N. She was strong, witty, fierce... She was everything that everyone would like. But Levi had never noticed anyone before now... Why now? Why her?

“I'll give you one more chance,” Levi said with an emotionless voice. “So I suggest you take it, brats.”

“No.” I had to admire the guts that Boris possessed, to be able to sneer at Levi like he was. But the kid thought that Levi was a mere second year – not knowing what I did, what only a few people here did. “That coward can't even be here to defend herself. So I'll teach you in her place to respect your seniors.”

The whistle blew, and all of a sudden the lanterns went black as the candles winked out. I swore lowly, not panicking at all - I had noticed Oluo, Eld and Gunther lurking near the lanterns earlier, obviously helping Levi achieve the maximum amount of flair that he needed to teach the third years a lesson. Whilst everybody fumbling around, I just call out loudly so that Levi can hear me.

“Try not to kill them, Levi.”

A dry chuckle sounds, and I sigh. I'm not one for violence – obviously, I wouldn’t deny the need for it, with the world that we lived in. But Levi always had the arrogance, the need to show that he wasn't just short, and a sense of pride that refused to back down. “Firstly - it was not just one titan,” Levi's voice sparked through the pitch black, and I hear the punch connect with flesh with the loudest smack that I've ever heard from a mere hit. The girl shrieks in pain, immediately dissolving into tears. “There were at least seventeen fully grown titans after her.” A skid sounds, and a giant thump signals the trip that Levi had pulled off landed a big opponent. More punches are heard, as well as the bewildered sobs of the girl. 

“How would you know? She was probably just lying to you!” Boris yells in response, and I can hear the pain underneath his anger – fool. Levi was probably just provoking him into yelling, into giving away his position. He yells again, this time with no words, and I know that Levi is throwing his powerful and fast punches again. With the darkness, he is masked. It doesn't matter to him if it is light or dark - a child grown in the underground city is immune to that. Levi rules the darkness. The thought came out of nowhere, and as Levi beats the three people into oblivion, I realize that it is wrong. He doesn't just rule it. He is darkness.

“How would I know? Because I was there in the prison with her! You know that she killed the leader before being forced to flee? She didn't realize it, but when she hit him in the head, she was so strong that he'll never wake up. And before I even got there, she had killed another one of the lunatics in their own cell. The two most powerful titans within that prison, she killed.”

I hadn't heard the girl in a while - she was probably already out for the count. I hadn't heard Marlowe cry out at all - he didn't seem to be in the pit at all.

Boris yelled a final scream that was full of terror. But I sensed another presence looming over the immortal aura of Levi, and I heard two words over everything else. I knew who it was - the only person to ever control Levi.

Erwin.

“Lights, please.”

I knew that Eld and Gunther wouldn't be foolish enough to disobey an order from Erwin himself. They may answer to Levi, but Erwin was the boss of Levi. The candles were relit within seconds, and the crowd backs away from the pit. I move forward, however, and peer down into the pit. The girl is sprawled across the dirt, blood trickling down her nose. For Levi, I knew it was tame. Boris's wrist was bent at an awkward angle, and he was on his knees before Levi, who hadn't a speck of dirt on him. Marlowe, however, stood at the side of the pit with his arms crossed and his face stone. The guard, pale faced, scrambled out of Erwin's way as the tall man stood over everyone.

“Levi, Marlowe, you pass. The other two can go back to school.”

Boris blinks in the sudden light, and then uses what was left of his senses to glare up at the impassive blond man above him. “Like hell I’ll go back to school! I can still fight him!”

Erwin jerks his head at Levi, who silently gets out of the pit and stands there, raising his eyebrows. I join him at the edge, marvelling at the amount of control that Erwin had over Levi, whether the shorter male knew it or not. Together, we watched Erwin climb into the pit in the place of Levi. Boris recoils, looking pale and sickly, as though he only just heard Hitch’s cries behind him. “If you can fight, then hit me,” Erwin said, standing still with his arms behind his back. Levi growled, but I grabbed his arm and held it there. When he whipped his head around to glare at me, I whispered to him. 

“Why Y/N? Why would you go to such lengths to protect her and her name?”

“I don't know.”

That stunned me for a second. For Levi to openly admit that he didn't know something was a rare event... I can't even remember an example of the time. Maybe this was a first. I quickly shut that shock down, however, lest he sensed it. I settled for the comforting angle as I released his arm. “Calm down now - you've completed your aim. She's safe.”

Levi nods as Boris flies towards Erwin with his fist clenched. I sensed his body tense, and knew that Levi was itching to protect the man, tensing in order to succeed. But I sighed through my nose as I watched Erwin take the hit to the chest, the punch sickeningly solid.

But Erwin merely watched as Boris's jaw went slack as he screamed. I knew the reason why immediately - the third year, in his anger, had forgotten about his broken wrist and used it to punch Erwin. Erwin, however, had known about it all along. Smart was not a word strong enough for what that man was.

Erwin climbed out of the pit with annoying ease, looking back down into the pit with disdain, gesturing to Marlowe to follow him. “I hope that you've learnt your lesson.”

“W-what?” Boris choked, cradling his wrist in his other hand.

“Never look down on a person that Levi cares about,” Erwin says softly, with such finality in his tone that makes me wonder about his age. He's such a mature soul with the mind of a genius. No wonder Levi respects him so much. Erwin nods at Levi, who nods back, before walking over to commence the other fights. I respected Erwin, but not as much as Levi did... The blond man had brought us here, after all. Isabel, Levi and I were underground and creating quite the reputation as thugs the day that someone had come with a mission for us - to kill Erwin and steal some documents. We were going to do it - that's how hard our lives were. But at some point, Levi just called it off and said that he'd deal with our client if he ever came up again. Somehow, Erwin had changed Levi's mind. 

I look at Levi, but know that he's too far away in his own mind for me to reach. Smiling to myself, I walk back to the castle alone and knock on the door to the girl's dormitories, thinking about how Y/N would react if she had known the extent of Levi's feelings, his actions that caused him to fight for her. That was why I was here - to tell her. To warn her.

If Levi had chosen her, then she deserved to know about him, about our past.

Isabel opened the door, and I immediately smiled. It was automatic around Isabel, easy as breathing. I just knew that whatever she'd say, I'd laugh and look down at her fondly. “Farlan! I lost, so I'm going home.” She pouts and stretches her pale arms up for a hug. I pick her up easily, over my shoulder. I savoured her warm weight, the contact that soothed me no matter how irked or on edge I was.

“I lost too, so I'll be keeping you company,” I told her, walking into the girl's dormitory with her over my shoulder. There were only a few girls here, with the rest of them still outside, but they were all sleeping. I walked over to Y/N's bunk and placed Isabel down, reaching over to tug Y/N awake.

But as I did, the girl sighed sweetly in her sleep and curled like a cat, her S/C legs showing underneath her dress because of the F/C material riding up to her thighs. I drew my eyes away from her body and focused on her, allowing Isabel to climb into her bed above Y/N's. But the H/C haired girl merely sighed again and stretched her arms above her head, allowing the material of her dress to stretch.

And reveal a stark black tattoo along her collarbone.

***

Y/N’s Point Of View:

You woke up to Isabel's nose inches away from your own, her green eyes wide and piercingly staring deep into your own.

So that's how she ended up on the floor, cupping her bleeding nose and groaning loudly at you. You sigh and sit up, wincing at the heat of the bed. If it had been winter, you wouldn't have moved from the cosy heat between your blankets, but since it had turned summer, it was just too hot to stay in bed for long. So you swung your legs over the bed and leant over to where Isabel now sat cross legged on the floor.

“I still don't understand what that was for -!” She angrily muttered under her breath, glaring at you with emerald eyes. 

“I don't think you quite understand the heart attack you gave me!” You told her back, putting a hand over your wildly beating heart. You stood up and went to walk around Isabel, but immediately tripped over a huge bag in the middle of the floor. “ISABEL!”

“Sorry, sorry! That's my bag!” You looked at your best friend with wide eyes, wondering at how stupid she thought you were. Of course it was her bag. Who else’s would it be? “Anyway, I'm leaving in a few minutes so I wanted to say goodbye.” You looked up and grabbed Isabel's outstretched hand, before rushing around and hurriedly getting dressed in the official uniform of Survey Corps, shoving your feet into the brown boots and sweeping the green cloak around your body. “Also, you freaked Farlan out yesterday.”

“Farlan?”

“Yeah. He tried to wake you up, but stopped and was frozen for a bit – it was really weird. Has he never seen a girl before?” You rolled your eyes at Isabel’s musing, shrugging in such a way that she knew it wasn’t meant to hurt her feelings. “But then Annie woke up and walked him out. I followed them, just to hear what she was going to say, but they literally said nothing. She just walked him to the door and left.”

You wondered at the strange behaviour, puzzling over why he’d stopped and stared at you. If Isabel had noted that it had seemed a little weird, then chances were that it was extremely odd. But when you didn't come up with an explanation to the situation, you merely shrugged. “I'll walk you out,” you told Isabel, who didn't look surprised. You helped her with her bag, and walked through the winding corridors of the castle. “Seriously, I'd hate to work here. The guard are pigs - they just play games all day. Everyone thinks that they work so hard... They're lazy, ignorant people.”

“I can't believe Annie wants to join the people here,” agrees Isabel. You pass the kitchen, and seeing the look of hunger on Isabel's face prompted you to take a momentary detour to sneak into the clean and homely looking kitchen. Isabel grabbed a loaf of bread, but you weren't feeling exceptionally hungry and so you just grabbed a flask of tea to sip once it had cooled.

As soon as you heard the cooks coming back, you slipped out of the kitchen and giggled between yourselves as you approach the courtyard. The majority of the students had already gathered with their horses, and you were very surprised to see Farlan already waiting with Strawberry and the same horse that he'd ridden the first day you'd met him. “Heya Farlan!” Isabel called, skipping to meet him. He grinned at her, before glancing at you uneasily. You could have sworn his eyes went to your neck for a brief second, but a second later he was looking at Isabel. Maybe you'd imagined it.

“Hey Isabel,” he said, handing her the reins of her horse as she secured her bag onto the saddle. “Make sure that you stay safe, Y/N,” he told you, utterly serious. He didn't meet your eyes, but you blamed it on the tiredness of getting up so early to travel back to school.

“I always stay safe. You know me,” you joked, spotting Levi. He was waiting at Farlan's side, obviously seeing him off like you were doing with Isabel. His eyes looked especially dead this morning – the grey a much more dulled, flat colour than what they were when they sparked. So, just to irk him with your chirpiness, you grinned at him widely. “Good morning!”

“The morning won't be good at all if I don't get some tea soon,” he flatly responded, his eyes bleary. You smiled and patted his arm, handing him the flask that you'd brought. Sure, you would have liked it, but he obviously needed it more than you. The male accepted it neatly, before narrowing his eyes and nervously peering inside. “What did you do to it?”

“Are we really going to do this again?” You sigh, remembering the time that you'd given him half an apple and he'd been so suspicious that you chucked an apple core at him. He gives you a slight smile as he shrugged, obviously accepting the flask with one hand over the top and takes a tentative sip. He looks up in surprise.

“Black tea?”

“Well, my favourite is F/T. Black was just the type in the flask.”

“Black tea is my favourite,” he offers out of the blue, and you widen your eyes at Levi offering some information about himself - to you, no less. You were probably looking like an idiot – opening your mouth and searching for something to say in response – but Levi’s attention had already moved onto the two people chatting behind you both. “Oi, Farlan. Stop worrying about me and the brat. It's both irritating and insulting.”

“If I don't worry about you both, who is?” Farlan smiled a strained smile and moved his horse towards his riding partner, leading Isabel away from you and Levi as she waved and grinned a goodbye. You anxiously tried to push Farlan and the tenseness with which he was acting out of your mind.

“It's strange to not have Isabel to worry about,” you said, thinking about how Isabel was always by your side without fail. It was strange, like having a phantom limb that suddenly didn't work. “At least she has Farlan with her.”

Levi grunted, but grabbed your wrist suddenly and tugged you into the castle through the open door. He stood at the door after shoving you into the shadows, looking at the incomer that he had deemed unwise to be in your company. You already knew who it was.

“Levi,” Petra greeted, and you could hear from her tone that she was smiling. “I'll see you back at school, I suppose. I’d say that I need to train more, but…” You frowned, trying to figure out what she meant. Her tone was clearly sarcastic, hinting at an inside joke… But then Levi glared quickly at you.

“See you,” Levi said, nodding his head at the girl. As he turned to walk inside, his hand half reaching out to grab your elbow, Petra interrupted again.

“Have you thought any more about the - the thing?”

Levi stopped dead, glancing back at her with eyes full of warning. “No. Do I look like I have time to think about stupid things?”

“Well, I see that you are thinking about Y/N L/N a lot, so I suppose so.”

You stood up and crossed your arms, emerging from the shadows of the corridor. Levi groaned as he realized that you were getting involved, walking off and leaving the two of you alone together. You didn’t bother staring after him like Petra was, with wistfulness in her eyes. “What was that? I am stupid, now, am I?”

“I didn't mean it like that!” Petra said, her calm demeanour signalling that it was true. “It's just that to Levi, no offence, but you should be considered stupid. He thinks that everyone except those close to him is a bunch of stupid brats, to use his choice of words.”

“I can see that as being true,” you said, leaning back against the wall. Petra's eyes softened as she looked down at you from her horse.

“You were going to give up the fight because of that girl. I heard you say so.”

“Yes.”

Petra smiled, and your heart stopped as you realized two things - firstly, she was beautiful. Her smile lit her entire face, and warmed her amber eyes so that they sparkled. You could see that she truly meant well in the world. And secondly, she meant it. She meant the smile in every honest way. “I still stand by what I said,” she said, reigning in her horse and beginning to move away, “you are, truly, a good person. Perhaps the best one that I've ever come across.”

You didn't have anything to say to that, so you watched as the girl who had once been your hated enemy walked away from you. And smiled.


	16. Chapter 16 - The Player

A few hours later, you were seated atop of Skira with Levi at your side, trotting your way out of the city. All of your friends had won their fights, apart from Isabel, and so all of you were now heading to your second week of the trip. The size of your group was now half the size that it had been when it had first arrived in the city. As the gates opened, Erwin yelled the order to gallop, and so Skira eagerly leaped into action as Levi's stallion did the same. You whipped your head around to look at him and nearly fell off as you realized that Levi was engrossed in the ride, a faint smile beginning to grace his features. 

“What?” He snapped as he saw you looking at him. You laughed as his face fell back into the frown that it was always in, and Levi rolled his eyes as he realized what you found so funny. “I just enjoy riding. I like horses - they are better than the people riding them.” His grey eyes narrowed at you maliciously, and you squinted dramatically at him in a mocking move. 

Erwin's white horse - the biggest in the entire school, you had been told - slowed its wide strides to ride next to Levi, who was automatically at attention. You stared at the head of the company, not wanting to seem like you were eavesdropping on their conversation, but you strained your ears to hear the whispered words anyway. The constant thundering of the hooves, however, made it impossible to hear anything except Levi's snort at the end. Erwin sped back up again to lead the company, and you saw his satisfied smile as he passed you. 

Skira whinnied, obviously wanting to race the enormous white stallion, but you pulled on her reigns to make her resist her wild urges. Galloping next to Levi, you gathered all of the information that you could - Levi's unhappy (or more unhappy than usual) set of his mouth, his knuckles gripping the reigns of his horse far tightly than needed. You decided to not ask as the second castle came into view, peering over the emerald treetops in interest. The green that was surrounding you made your heart tug at thinking how Isabel would have loved the scenery here, but excitement at the huge place prompted you focusing your thoughts on where you were.

You were at Survey Corps. Not the school, the training place... But the actual, real establishment. Erwin seemed to know his way around everything as he navigated through the thick forest, and Levi didn't even seem to be interested in the surroundings as you were. Soon, the moss and wild grass under the horse's hooves became gravel, and you approached the gate to the castle. There was no city, nor anyone except the official people living here, and so nobody gaped or whispered about you as they had before. 

In turns, groups lead their horses into the stable, where a friendly girl in official uniform took the reins from you. You were about to warn her about Skira's free spirit, and that she was liable to kick and bite the people that she hadn't met before, but the girl patted Skira's head with ease. At first you were surprised, but then Levi tugged you out of the stables before you could ask how the horse was handled with such ease.

All of you were shown to a Dorm, and you were glad that you were sharing with Sasha, Mikasa and Ymir. If you had been sharing with Annie again, you weren't sure what would have happened. You hadn't forgotten about your shared tattoo. 

You unpacked hurriedly, because Erwin had said that the rest of the day was yours to spend as you pleased before training started tomorrow. Sasha had already located the kitchens, but somehow the cooks already identified her and had been notified not to let her in no matter how much she begged and offered to clean the dishes. So she was sulking behind you all as you walked through the grounds, looking at the lake and the any hills that Survey Corps owned. You hadn't seen Levi since he had disappeared into the castle with Erwin, and as you saw Eren and Jean fighting, you and Mikasa both sighed.

With Armin helping you by restraining Mikasa - who you thought would kill Jean given half a chance - you managed to cool them off by punching them in their stupid faces. After that, they had decided to join you as you all trooped towards the lake. Sasha had already found some under-used fishing nets, and so you had thought that her attempting to fish would be excellent entertainment.

Somehow, you and Eren ended up sitting on the grassy slopes of the hill alone as the rest of your friends argued about how to catch fish. You narrowed your eyes at the boy at your side, thinking back on a bit of information that Jean had so easily and unknowingly slipped you. “So, Yeager,” you said, lying back and enjoying the sun's heat. “How did you win your fight?”

“I'm a good fighter,” Eren immediately responded, sticking his chin up in the air. You fought the wave of instability that crashed into your stomach in response to his automatic, natural reaction to the name that you’d tossed to him on a whim. But you weren’t going to let him know about that – not yet.

“Oh? So Mikasa didn't knock both of your opponents into the next century within a few seconds?”

Eren's eyes immediately darkened. “Did Horseface told you?”

“Yep!” You grinned, and Eren groaned dramatically and placed his head in his hands. “Hey, Eren... Your father's name was Grisha?”

It was random, and you didn't blame Eren for shifting into a frozen stupor for a few seconds. Then anger crossed his face as he looked at you and nodded. “He was never at home,” he said, “because he was one of the best doctors around and everyone needed him.”

“So he was a doctor,” you said, and sadness waved in as you confirmed that the doctor that you'd seen was in fact Eren's father. Should you tell Eren that he was a couple of minutes away from seeing his father? You were about to – but then you saw Eren's downcast eyes, and you decided to keep the information to yourself for now. He was obviously upset about his father anyway, and you weren't about to cause any more sadness. Not yet, anyway.

“I don't really remember much about him,” Eren joked, a façade you allowed him to make; you’d seen his fury just a few moments before. But regardless of the ease that now welcomed you, you were utterly unprepared for the next question. “What about your father? What is he like?”

All sound stopped. 

You focused on breathing and thinking about anything to do with your family, because you knew that there was nothing except from pain there. You owed Eren something, though – and if it wasn’t information about his father, it might as well be information about yours. “Dead.”

“I'm sorry,” Eren said, and it took you a second to snap out of the tensed up position that you were in. You flashed him a weak grin that was as phony as his façade, and both of you knew it.

“Don't be sorry,” you told him, standing up and helping him to his feet. “Now, let's ambush some idiots, shall we?”

Eren's eyes followed yours as he saw that all of your friends had somehow managed to get themselves stuck in the fishing net. Reiner yelled as Ymir punched him for getting Christa tangled up, and Jean was awestruck as Mikasa just stood there, wrapped in the nets that everyone had tangled her up in. You raced down to the bank, and Marco pleaded with you as he yelled for your help to set them all free. 

But you just grabbed one end of the net, and Armin watched with fearful eyes as Eren grabbed the other. Laughing, you both dragged your friends into the cold water of the lake. Even as they gripped your ankles and dragged you with them, and as the cold water made your fingers shrivel, you laughed.

Life was good.

***

“Wait, what?”

Sasha nodded wildly, almost punching Reiner in the face with her bread. You were all seated at the benches eating the little food that the Corps had offered for lunch, claiming that this diet was scientifically proven to harden your endurance skills... But you saw right through that. It was code for starving your soldiers just enough so that they'd last longer in the outside world if they were forced away for a long time.

“I know, right!” Sasha nodded as her smug aura at knowing something you didn't radiated from the smooth curve of her lips. Annie and Mikasa were glaring at each other from opposite sides of the table as they both leaned forward to eavesdrop.

“So Erwin...” You repeated, shock still freezing your thoughts as they tried to process the information. 

“Erwin is the actual head of Survey Corps!” Sasha said again, clearly and easily, as though that sentence didn’t just change everything. “The guards claimed that he wanted to oversee the new cadets in training, and so he went and joined the school whilst posing as a second year. Pixis, obviously, gave Erwin as much power as he could whilst keeping discreet about it… So that’s why he’s the Student Head.” 

“But...” Mikasa's eyes widened a fraction in interest, but then relaxed back into her calm demeanour as Eren took a seat between you and her. Armin took the one opposite him, sitting between Annie and Sasha and looking as scared as he had when you'd first rescued him. “How do you know this, Sasha?”

“I was in dire need of more food,” Sasha said, glancing around to see if anyone important was listening. “And being that I am banned from the kitchens, I had to resort to more – shall we say – sneaky methods? And so when I heard the guards approaching, I shoved myself into a grandfather clock and hid there, listening to what they were saying.”

Suddenly, you knew that the entire Erwin subject made sense - he was someone who knew about Sasha and would ban her from the kitchens upon arrival. And then there was the air of importance that you'd first sensed when you met him... And called him a pathetic second year. 

“Ohhhh I am such an idiot!” You groaned, clutching your face in your hands. You had insulted the head of Survey Corps. Not just the Student head of the school - the actual head. You could feel your cheeks flushing with colour as you could almost see yourself that night, flouncing around, believing that Erwin Smith was no one more than a second year. “I can't believe I said that!”

“Said what now?” Jean asked, his eyes mockingly bright, but you waved him off as you continued to steam over what you'd said. 

“As I was saying,” Sasha coughed, “I maybe took a sneakier route to the kitchens after that grandfather clock incident and overheard a certain person ordering the actual soldiers around - and then, one of them called that certain person ‘Heichou’.”

“What – they were calling Erwin that?” Annie asked. You chanced a glance at her – but was utterly unsurprised at her blank face, disinterested even as she asked questions.

“No, that was Levi Ackerman,” Sasha revealed with a smirk. You sat up quickly, and Reiner and Bertoldt both gave you weird knowing looks, like they knew something that you didn't. “But then he threatened them with sending them to Erwin Smith, the actual head of Survey Corps. So I guess Levi's an actual captain here too, he just accompanied Erwin on his quest to survey the students.” Sasha's eyebrows rose at everyone, wanting your friends to laugh at the bad pun, but no one said anything as they all turned to look at the table at the front of the room.

Erwin, Hanji and Levi sat with a few others, lounging around and discussing something over cups of tea. You only had to scan the other people’s faces to know that you hadn’t seen them before now – but with the ease that Hanji grinned and gestured wildly, you guessed that they most certainly had. “Well, they certainly look comfortable here,” Eren commented, his eyes on the same scene that yours were.

“I was in Erwin's riding group, too” Christa said, “and he never once looked at the map. It was like he knew exactly where he was going.”

At this point, you were hitting your head on the wooden table, hoping that your raging blush at insulting someone so important would go away, before a hand shot out and cupped your forehead firmly. With the cool hand preventing you from whacking your head again, you closed your eyes and sighed. “Go away,” you said, not knowing who it was, “I need to die of embarrassment.”

“Embarrassed of being an insufferable brat?” Your eyes shot open and the first thing that you saw was Sasha's look of utter fear, and then Armin's wary look. If the male’s words alone hadn’t told you who he was, it was those looks that would have informed you immediately. “We have a cure for that.”

“A cure for what now?” You impudently said, rolling your eyes at your friends’ shocked faces. Levi pulled your head all the way back slowly, so that you were looking up to the ceiling - or you would have been looking at the ceiling, if Levi's head hadn’t have been there with his amused grey eyes smirking at yours. 

He leaned forward until his mouth was by your ear, and you shivered at the proximity of him. “Get off your ass and clean something. Preferably the floor - it's filthy from all of your bratty feet over it.”

He let you go then and stalked off, with your friend's stunned faces looking at you as you placed your head in your arms and groaned once more, but this time out of frustration rather than embarrassment. But then you stood up, indignation at being told to do a chore giving you energy. Annie glared at you with a sour look in her eyes. “Whatever you're about to do, stop it right now...” She warned, but you merely stuck your tongue out and yelled after Levi.

“Why don't you clean the floor? You're closer to it, after all!”

He stopped dead, and Hanji spat out her tea. Erwin choked over his next few words, staring in your direction in awe. It was funny - the head of Survey Corps was in awe at you standing up to Levi and insulting him, to boot. On second thoughts, maybe that was a bad idea...

But you knew it was a lost cause when Jean and Eren ducked their heads to avoid Levi's glare as he slowly turned around. Annie merely sighed and nodded in your direction, obviously a farewell, and Sasha stopped eating - that was how you knew things were about to get bad. “Don't just stand there!” Reiner whispered roughly, urgency ringing through his voice. “Run for it!”

You decided that Reiner's words weren't that bad advice. Especially as Levi's glare turned red and he started taking steps towards you. So you turned and ran, flying down the dining hall and through the doors, passing the laughing guards who wished you good luck as you passed. You couldn't hear footsteps behind you, so you lightened your pace a little as you took random turns in the corridors.

Not knowing where you were going was making you nervous. Levi knew this terrain well... If he could hear you, he could probably take a shortcut and catch up to you in no time... As you lightly sprinted past a portrait that you'd already passed, you came to a full stop. You had no clue where you were, or where Levi was. You strained your ears to hear his footsteps, but there was nothing.

And then you heard a rush of wind before Levi pinned you against the wall, breathing hard from his nose and gripping your wrists above your head with one hand. You tried to wriggle one free, but damn he was strong. He put his face right up to yours and touched his forehead with yours. You let out a surprised squeak, but he merely sighed and closed his eyes.

You couldn't exactly relax from where your back was against the wall, with both your arms over your head and Levi's other arm so near your waist from where it stopped any movement to the left. But a lemon and pepper scent then caressed your nose, and you couldn't help but breathe it in and like the scent. It was like sherbet lemons, so refreshing and sharp.

You didn't realize that the smell was Levi until he drew back and glared at you. “What was that smart remark just now, Y/N?”

“I - I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Really?” He whispered, and his nose touched your ear as he breathed down your neck. Your skin shivered, and you fought the urge to close your eyes and moan at the delight of the light tickles that his breath was treating your skin to. It would have been a second nature to you to tilt your head back just a few inches, exposing the rest of the skin at your neck. But instead, you merely looked at him through narrowed eyes.

“What are you doing?”

Levi hummed in response to your deep, smooth voice. “I’m deciding how to punish you. Plus you smell.”

“I do not!” You said, and kicked his ankle. In the second that he tensed up, you had wrenched your hands down from where they had been held and danced out of the way. Levi chuckled, not bothering to follow your movements as he opened the door that had been behind you. As he then looked at you, after frowning at the dust in the room, you tried to calm your breathing.

“Convenient, isn't it?” Levi smirked at you as he went into the room, and you only heard the clanging of buckets until he emerged with a mop and bucket. “This is the room designed for storing cleaning materials.” He threw both items at you, and you ducked your head so that the bucket soared over you and hit the wall behind you. But your wrist snapped into position and caught the broom with ease. As you tried to search for something to say, Levi beat you to it. “I want this entire floor cleaned and sparkling. Get to it.”

You didn’t bother to hide the indignant tone of your voice as you asked, “but what about my team?”

Levi snorted, closing the cupboard behind him and leaned coolly against the wooden door. “You'll be doing this on your own, so don’t worry about your team.”

You refused to pout, so instead you walked to the corner of the corridor and knelt down to check the amount of dust. Maybe it was due to Levi's absence and therefore the relaxed rules about cleaning, but there was a fair amount there. You turned your head to glare at Levi, only to find that his gaze was already on you. ‘Is he... Is he checking me out?’ You asked yourself as his eyes snapped up from where they had been to your face. He didn't blush, didn't give you any signs to confirm your theory; he just nodded thoughtfully and walked away into another door, another corridor.

You stood up and stretched, preparing yourself for the chore that was to come, and looked along the corridor. Hanging on the wall opposite was a grand mirror, bordered by a wood carving that was polished and probably the only thing that was clean in the castle. You looked at yourself and cursed.

Levi may not have been blushing, but you sure as hell were.

***

It got harder during the day, when you looked out the windows to a hot summer day and saw that everyone else was being trained. Second and third years were being fitted with 3DMG and were tested for their balance, whilst the first years were either riding horses or training physically. You spotted Annie and Mikasa leading your year in the exercises – much to Eren and Jean’s anger, it seemed, from their red faces. You couldn’t help but sigh as you yearned to be there to show them both up, to feel the sweat and strength of a good workout.

Not that this wasn't a workout. Your back was strained at being bent over all day, and your hands were wrinkled after being doused with the bubbly water too many times. 

But it gave you a brilliant chance to explore the building. You searched every nook and cranny, leering at the dust and smiling at the many secrets of the building. You found so many secret stashes of food, and so you never really went hungry. Leaving notes was the best part - you had found an empty desk that just had paper and a pen, so you were taking advantage of the situation and leaving notes everywhere.

Hello, this was an impressive stash of food. Thanks. 

Whoever dusts this needs to do a better job. 

Levi, if you ever see this, just know that I hate you.

WHO KEEPS BREAD IN A GRANDFATHER CLOCK, YOU IDIOT.

Hello. I am a ghost. I will haunt this drawer for a while. Leave me alone.

So you were enjoying yourself with the little things that you could do. As you reached for the knob to allow you into what would be another drawing room, Erwin opened the door from the other side at the same time so that you fell forward, nearly hitting him on the head with the mop as you did so.

But he caught you by your shoulders steadily, blinking in surprise. “Y/N L/N,” he smiled, “I see that Levi already took over your training.”

“Really? I couldn't tell,” you said sarcastically, brandishing the mop and waving it in front of Erwin threateningly. His blue eyes followed it, an idle smile gracing his features. You ignored the way that his sweat had allowed his white shirt to stick to his chest, and instead peered over his shoulder to smile at the brown-haired woman inside.

“Why don't you come in and join us?” Hanji called, returning your smile and appearing behind the huge man. Erwin rolled his eyes, knowing perfectly well that Hanji would see and track the movement, and sent you an apologetic smile. He stepped back to allow you to make your neat way around him, settling yourself in a seat.

“I just need a five minute break, actually,” he said, a frown appearing and scrunching up his forehead. He waved lazily and slowly made his deliberate way out the door. “You can talk to Levi's girl whilst I'm gone.”

“W-what? I'm not his girl!” You stammered, but Erwin merely chuckled and pulled the door closed behind him, leaving you in the room with Hanji. She was laughing at the sight of you, with a white apron and skirt of the school uniform. “I'm not his girl,” you repeated, sitting down at the table inside. You felt kind of awkward still holding the mop, but Hanji tugged it out of your hands and chucked it behind her, where it landed with a clutter. 

“So, Y/N,” Hanji said, laying out many pieces of paper. Some were maps, whilst some were just pages and pages of notes and diagrams. There was information about the horses, wagons, 3DMG, even the boots of the soldiers. “Help me.”

You tried not to draw yourself at the pure command of her voice, and instead resorted to looking back at the paper scattered around. “Help you with what? What could I possibly help you with?” Astonishment at the amount of work down to the smallest detail rose to your mind - even the stitching of the cloaks had been analysed to last longer whilst allowing more movement and thermal capacities. The very wagons had some complex design of the wheels to make it move faster. 

“Erwin thinks that the titans are planning something,” Hanji said, rubbing her temples. You nodded, signalling your agreement – after all, everyone knew that titans were statistically stronger and had larger numbers. An attack would be logical. 

“What do you think?” You asked, wondering at her obvious hesitation.

“I think that it is probably correct. But there aren't many facts - we don't have enough knowledge to know where or why they act.” Hanji sneered at the papers in front of her as though they were nothing, which, you supposed, they did. Paper could only help so much. But with that problem, about how titans acted, you could help a little more.

“They're monsters. Don't think of them as humans; think of them as nothing more than humanoid things.” You weren’t faking the careful blankness of your voice as you said the words.

“But they are biologically human –“

“Apes have bodies that are similar to ours. But they are not humans. Neither are the titans - trust me, think of them as monsters and it will make it much easier.”

“But I don't know much about monsters,” Hanji whispered frantically, poring over her notes. “This is difficult.”

You didn't know what to say to that, so you made your way over to the window and looked out across the courtyard. Your classmates were still training, and once again you wished to be there, instead of here, dancing on dangerous grounds. “Levi didn't want you training with them,” Hanji randomly said, and you turned to look at her. Her lips were pursed, and she was leaning back in her chair as she allowed her mind to race. “He said that the other male instructors were pigs, and that he wouldn't let you in their sight for a single second.”

“He - he is trying to protect me?”

“In his own selfish way, I suppose so.”

Erwin came back after that, and you weren’t surprised that any comfortable silence was chased into the shadows. The immense man simply commanded the space, the sound, the silence. As you stood to leave, however, he shook his head and gestured for you to stay. “So, what do you know about titans?” Erwin asked; his voice was calm, even though he must have been exhausted.

You looked at Hanji only to find that the question was aimed at you. You shook your head at the man, smiling apologetically. “Not much.”

“Liar.”

E/C eyes widened at Erwin, who was resting his head on top of his folded hands. You narrowed your eyes again, watching him as intently as he was watching you. “I'm telling you, I don't know much at all,” you said again, slower and with much more meaning.

“And I'm telling you, you're a liar.” Erwin was emotionless, just waiting for your reply. 

Understanding flashed. If Erwin had equal power to Pixis… That meant that he had equal resources. And if he had the resources that Pixis had...

“You sick bastard,” you spat.

Erwin smiled. 

 

 

 

 

 

Hiya guys, thanks for reading the new chapter! I hope you enjoyed - even though it seems something bad's on the horizon... So prepare mentally for that, I suppose! But yeah, a couple of comments recommended that I upload this story to Wattpad - so if you're interested in following me/liking the story, then here's the link to my profile:  
https://www.wattpad.com/user/Ria___Z  
but yeah! Hopefully see you in four days!!  
~Ria


	17. Chapter 17 - The Smile

Erwin smiled.

It sent a chill down your spine as you contemplated what it meant. It promised death, in its own way. His ice blue eyes froze you within your lies, the lies that you told to keep yourself safe and sane.

Most importantly, sane.

You were dangerous - everyone knew that. But what would happen if the fragile walls of your sanity were to crumble into the dust, leaving the full interior of your skills in the hands of nothing but your lust for blood? That wouldn't happen - you wouldn't let that happen. That's why you gritted your teeth, glaring right back at Erwin and snarled at him. “They're monsters - that's all I know.”

“How long will you keep this up, Y/N?” Erwin said, settling himself in his chair so that he was more comfortable. His chilling eyes never moved from yours, and in another situation, you might have winked at him – might have grinned, or raised an eyebrow. But this was now – this was dangerous. When you’d first seen him, you’d known that he was dangerous. Erwin nodded slightly as though he could read your thoughts and dipped his chin, leaning back into his chair as he said softly, “you can keep it up for however long that you like; I have all the time in the world.”

“You read my file,” you spat, tension ruling your body and panic reigning your head. Erwin’s eyes lightened as he looked at you with a nod. Obviously, if he had equal resources to Pixis, then he had access to your file – the file that Petra had tried to find, the file that contained information about you that no one else knew.

“I didn't expect you to catch on that fast,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows. “I'm impressed.”

“Then be impressed with this,” you snapped, picking up the mop from where Hanji had thrown it earlier and lunging at him with it. For one second, you truly thought that the wood was going to hit him right in his face, and you faltered with the amount of strength you put behind the blow. But then Erwin's hand blurred and suddenly it had caught the mop.

Even if it wasn't the strongest blow that you'd thrown, you knew that it was pretty forceful - maybe even enough to break his nose if it had hit. But his hand wrapped around the wood and didn't yield an inch. For one millisecond, you froze in the shock of his strength - just how powerful he was to not flinch at the pain of catching a wooden pole that had enough force to break his nose.

“Careful,” he said, not letting go of the mop, “if you break any of the equipment, you'll pay for it.”

Hanji stood up and came to stand just next to you. You flinched away from her instinctively, and wisely too - in the moment that you stepped away, a silver knife flashed by where your neck had been. Snarling, you backed away from the scientist, letting go of the mop so that Erwin couldn't tether you to one space. 

Hanji sighed with vindictive angst as the mop clattered to the desk. “Y/N, please just tell him what he wants to know... You said it yourself, I don't have enough information...”

“You just tried to kill me,” you said, backing away slowly. Frantic, your eyes slid around the room, trying to find an exit, or a weapon, or something that you could use to your advantage. But there was nothing - literally nothing. The room was empty apart from the table in the middle, an area currently being dominated by Erwin and Hanji. It was as though they’d planned this out, this meeting and setting.

“I could say the same to you,” Erwin said, nothing but calm radiating from his voice. “Hanji, stop there.”

Hanji did indeed stop moving, flicking the bright blade into its sheath at her hip but keeping her hand close enough to it that you knew it would only take a split second to wink into her hand again. “I wasn't going to kill you,” you growled. “I was only aiming to break your nose.”

Hanji started to cough a laugh, before she made eye contact with Erwin and fell silent. Then the door opened and Levi walked in, blades sheathed at his sides and a glare on his face. He stopped dead as he assessed the situation - Erwin, holding a mop and seated at the head of the table; Hanji with a silver knife two inches from her hand and frozen just three meters in front of you. And you - baring your teeth like a feral animal and crouching down as low as you could to prepare yourself to fight. You thought his next words appropriately summed up your experience.

“What the rutting hell?”

Erwin raised his other hand, and Levi fell quiet with the questions dying on his lips. The shorter man walked up to Erwin, his eyes daring his superior to answer his questions. But blue eyes met stormy grey, and you could almost sense the telepathic conversation between the two men as the moments of silence followed. You knew better than to try and widen your eyes at Levi – to try and win him over to your side. If it was Isabel against Levi, and the male tried to make you choose – you wouldn’t do it. And you were hardly going to make the man choose between you and his superior.

Hanji, whilst the two men stared at each other, stayed so impossibly still with her brown eyes fixed on the midpoint between you and her two friends. You knew instinctively that she was the one to worry about first.

So you mimicked her and froze, then told yourself to see.

You scanned her as thoroughly as you could, gathering every bit of information that you could from just her body, her clothes. You saw her muscles and how they would tense just a second before they would move, and you saw her feet positions before she even moved them. Having a talent for seeing this much had been drilled into you way before Survey Corps - it was from back then, the history that Erwin wanted to know about.

Erwin stood up suddenly, dropping the mop onto the floor, done with his silent conversation with his captain. Just from the way that his body moved, without a single wasted movement, you sensed the enormous amount of physical power that he had. But you didn't allow yourself to take your eyes off your nearest opponent, even as Erwin told her to relax her position. “Tell us,” Erwin commanded once more, turning his gaze onto you. You stood firm, believing blindly in the fact that your legs could carry you fast - and that your explorations of the castle would benefit you in this cause. You could run as soon as Levi stepped away from your path to the door. 

But the blond man merely sighed and met eyes with Hanji, who raised her knife. You tensed yourself, watching the shiny weapon as it flew through the air to Erwin, who caught it expertly with two fingers, with almost a delicate prowess. You didn't allow yourself to relax, but merely watched the man with the knife.

Here was a man who harnessed an enormous amount of power; he kept to the shadows until it was too late for his prey, and then he would pounce. And right now, you were the prey. At least, that's what you thought until Erwin snapped into movement, punching Levi in the stomach.

Levi bent over, gasping in pain as his eyes widened in surprise. As quick as lightening, Erwin had pinned both Levi's arms behind him with one arm as he angled the silver knife at Levi's neck.

You couldn't move as Levi looked up at Erwin behind him, shock and fury dancing in his eyes as the knife kissed the air that was dangerously close to his skin. Sucking in a breath, Levi froze - assessing that it was probably the best situation to stay as still as possible. Erwin's expression didn't waver from the calm and powerful look as he met eyes with yours. He was testing you - teasing you.

Fire was so fierce, so bright that it could be blinding. But to the ever-watchful eyes of a panther that crept in the shadows, fire was merely an annoyance, a source of information or a weapon that could be used in the future. So Erwin didn't flinch from your glare as you met his stare, knowing exactly what situation you were in. 

“Let's try this again, shall we?”

You were playing a dangerous game; you had always known that. But against a partner who was even more terrifying than the game itself? That was what scared you. Knowing this, you stepped forward and sat down in the chair, waiting patiently for the second round of the game to begin.

“I'm glad that you understand,” Erwin said, still holding the knife to Levi's throat. Levi gave him the death glare out of the corner of his eyes that told you as soon as his life wasn't in the line, Levi might kill Erwin himself. For a second, you contemplated whether or not Erwin would actually do it.

But one glance into his ever-calm eyes told you the answer. Oh yes, he'd do it.

“It's not nice to play with people's lives,” you told him as your hands whipped out and grabbed Hanji's arm. You wrenched her towards you and forcibly sat her on the floor by kicking the back of her knees. You held her head between your left arm, knowing that one movement would snap the scientist's neck. Erwin knew it too, as he held Levi closer and pressed the knife closer to Levi's throat.

A drop of blood appeared on his neck, and your heart froze in your chest. Levi growled from the back of his throat, but Erwin merely tightened his grip on Levi's arms so that Levi's back was arched further away from the man. You settled yourself down, knowing that Erwin wouldn't kill his greatest soldier just on a whim. He wanted information first.  
The art of the assassin is the art of truth twisting.

Truth and lies, mixed up. You had seen your file; you knew all of the information stated within it – and you knew all of the information that wasn't. “Stop. Let Levi go.”

“I don't think that I will,” Erwin said mildly, although he did relax his grip a little. Levi looked at you with an expression that you couldn't quite identify, but that quickly disappeared as he went back to glaring at Erwin with the promise to kill him later.

“Fine.” Even as you said the word, Erwin made the cut on Levi's neck a little longer in a warning. “I said FINE!”

“I'm glad.” Erwin said. He settled himself against the wall, pulling Levi along with him. You loosened your grip on Hanji, trying to soothe her that you weren't about to go berserk on her. Of course, that meant little to the scientist when you had just threatened to snap her neck a mere few seconds ago. Erwin’s eyebrows rose again in warning, the hand that held the knife flexing in a promise.

“It's to do with my family,” you blurted, desperate to make that knife stop. “They were titans from the beginning... And I was brought up in the forest along with them. It was harsh, and we had to hunt for food everyday - not humans,” you snapped, seeing Levi tense in horror, “but the animals of the forest - deer and rabbits, mostly. But thanks to the hunting, I built my stamina and knew how to do it – I learnt how to use a knife, a sword, a bow. My family taught me fighting, in case I ever needed it.”

Truth - and lies, just as assassins did. The truth, but not the whole truth. 

“And that's how I know that they aren't humans,” you said, emotionless and eternally so, in that moment. “There was a ceremony for all those who wish to be titans, but they have to be (your age minus one year) to go through with it. They...”

A memory flashed before your eyes, but Levi appeared through the fog, struggling with the knife at his throat. You couldn't risk him. You would never risk Levi. There was just something about him - how he kept a small garden alive with plants, how he loved to ride, how he liked cleaning things. But you knew that if he died, so would the feeble wall protecting your sanity. So for your sanity, for Levi, you kept talking.

“They cripple the mind. They make a small cut and cripple the mind that is rational; don't ask me how!” You cried in panic, seeing Erwin flash the knife at you. “I don't know, I promise. But know that they aren't human at all - that rational part of their mind is gone. They live only to eat and kill and make more titans. That's why they are literally monsters. They don't understand any feelings beside anger and hunger and lust. That's it.”

You could feel Hanji quivering in excitement with the new knowledge by your leg, but you begged her silently to stay with you for just a little longer, just a bit more. “You said that the ceremony happens to people at (your age minus one year)? Then wasn't it performed on you?”

You fixed Erwin with a stare and turned your head, your free arm moving up to trace a hidden scar at the base of your hairline. “I ran away the night that it should have happened – I was scared, and alone. Do you really think I’d let something like that happen to me? I knew what it did to ordinary, lovely humans – why would I be so inclined to let it happen to me?”

“But you have a scar!” Hanji blurted, with the tone of on that was unable to contain her excitement. “It’s there, I can see it!”

You tugged her hair, warning her to shut her mouth. Erwin cocked his head in a silent repetition of her question. “I have a scar because I gave it to myself, that night – I did it with my daggers, which were the only thing that I managed to flee with. I knew that if I were somehow captured by them once again, I’d want them to think of me as a titan – until I could escape again. I am not going gently back to the hell that was my family life,” you said, and knew that your words affected Erwin more than he showed.

“Hanji?”

Erwin's voice sounded, breaking you out of your memory. You glanced down at the brown-haired woman, who nodded against your arm with wicked anticipation shining in her eyes. “Yes - that will quite suffice.”

Sighing, Erwin released Levi and sat down into his chair. Levi stood quite still, giving you a quick nod of thanks before starting and looking at you in astonishment. “I didn't expect that to work,” he muttered, and your relief was shot down by confusion. You watched as Erwin nodded at him thoughtfully, before looking at you with speculative eyes.

“I told you that it would,” Erwin said. Hanji nodded and broke free of your hold on her. You watched all of them carefully, standing up slowly. Hanji was already grabbing fresh bits of paper and scribbling down notes that no one except her could possibly read, and Levi was looking down at his cravat in horror. 

“You got blood on my clothes,” he hissed, and Erwin looked down at him in fond exasperation. 

“Sacrifices were called for,” he said.

They didn't notice you until you were out of the door, slowly slipping into the shadows and dancing away. Levi - he had known that he was going to be used as hostage. Used as a hostage to make you talk. When Erwin had left for five minutes, to take a break, he had obviously gone to get Levi... He was prepared to go that far from the very start, threatening the strongest soldier to get at the one person that knew the information that they needed. 

To get to you.

Levi had been used - had let himself be used - to get to you. 'Levi's girl' had been a test, to feel you out, to see if he'd be valuable to you. Erwin - the smart bastard - had been testing you and teasing you for far longer than you'd even thought. So you ran all the way to your room, where Sasha and the others were already snoring, and burrowed yourself under the covers, and simmered.

Your rage at being played, your rage at being cooped up all day, your rage at allowing yourself to care about another person...

You let them light a fire.

And you sure as hell were not going to let it go out.

***

“Are you sure that you don't want to have some breakfast?” Sasha asked again, her concern at you not wanting food obvious. You glared at her, exasperation at being asked so many times wearing through your patience. Seeing the glare, Mikasa quickly intervened, gently grasping Sasha's arm and leading her out of the room. Once you were alone, you got yourself dressed and prepared before sneaking outside, the fresh air doing wonders to raise your spirits. 

The castle grounds were huge - there were many hundreds of meters of grass, and so you leisurely walk around whilst enjoying the fresh air and the silence compared to the constant noise of the Survey Corps. You could still hear the distant murmur of shouting and clashes that were considered the norm during breakfast, but that was so easy to forget about amidst the breeze and the gentle waves of the lake.

You reached the training area, where several officials were already training themselves. They were big and brutish, but one stood out to you. Mike, who you hadn't seen before this trip, was standing victorious over another, obviously just winning his fight. Sweat dripped down his forehead, but he still raised his eyes to meet yours as you walked over to gather what information that you could. 

He sniffed heavily, before furrowing his brows and helping the beaten opponent to his feet. You stopped at the fence, leaning against it and taking a deep breath. The others noted your presence and continued with new energy, seeing as you were now someone to be impressed. But Mike walked up to you, meeting you at the fence and joining you at the other side. 

“You smell like someone I know,” he said, his eyes noting every feature on your face as he tried to match you with someone else. 

“Then I hope the person you know smells really nice,” you replied dryly. “Are you guys just sparring?”

“Yeah.”

You hop over the fence, landing neatly by Mike's side. You could tell that he was a man of very little words, and so you didn't press him for conversation as you both walked back to where the others were. They were easier to read than Mike - right now, they were just thinking that if Mike had deemed you alright, they trusted him in his judgement. Inferring as much as you could, you knew that Mike had to be very close to someone important. 

And it didn't take you long to form the link between Mike and Erwin was strong. 

Mike led you over to where a box was, and threw something at you; they were a flexible pair of finger-less gloves, which all of the men had on as they fought each other. At first, it took you a second to realize that Mike wasn't just aware that you hungered for a fight - he was giving you his permission to. That alone drew a smile to your face.

You eagerly thrust your fingers through the tight leather, loving the sensation of the leather tightening around your knuckles and the power of the movement. Mike then led you to where the roof of the stables covered a small area of the courtyard, where several punching bags hung from the rafters. At this point, you were just glad to work off some energy, although you felt a bit disappointed that you weren't going to have an actual opponent to fight. 

Nevertheless, you threw yourself into punching the sack of sand, eager to feel a strain to your muscles, wanting to have bruised knuckles by the end. You pictured the punching bag as having Erwin's face, or Hanji's, or Levi's. That drew on your anger to the point that you were leaving bloody imprints on the surface of the bag, marking where you were most liable to punch. 

It was just so stupid. You were an assassin, one of the best at not caring about other people... Why hadn't you just let Levi be killed? The answer was simple, but that didn't make it easy to accept it. Somehow and somewhere along the way, Levi had wormed his way into your head... Through all of the battles of wit and sarcasm, he had earned his place as one of the few people that you cared about. 

And that was the thing that you hated the most.

You had tried so hard to be arrogant, to scare other people away so that you'd never care about them and get them hurt. But he had just torn that down with his scowl, his familiar 'tch', his death glare that could definitely rival your own. If you had people that you cared about, then you couldn't be a true assassin. And if you weren't a true assassin, then what were you?

You didn't know. And not knowing that scared you.

Mike cleared his throat, waking you up out of your murderous thoughts. He walked up to you and gently took your hands, where blood was gently making its way from under your gloves to dripping down onto the sandy floor. He helped you out of the gloves before cleaning the knuckles and bandaging them silently, not asking about your thoughts or saying anything reassuring. He was a nice person, you realized. 

“Erwin isn't a bad person,” Mike said quietly, and you immediately tensed. “He's just forced to do very bad things sometimes.” You were prepared to wrench your hands out of his grasp in anger before he added to his words. “Surely, as an assassin, you can understand that?”

The world stilled as the wind stopped blowing and the men around you stopped fighting. You... You could understand that. Even if you hated it, you weren't as stupid as to say that you couldn't understand his actions. He was trying to gather information on the titans to make them easier to kill - and the number of lives lost to the titans would make anyone desperate. Even desperate enough to threaten to kill their strongest soldier. Did that make you selfish, for not wanting to tell them? It was just that if you told them everything - you highly doubted that you'd still be allowed to live. All you had done in that meeting was repeat what was in your file – and then the information about the knife and the operation. You knew that those two facts alone would probably have satisfied Zoe Hanji for two months.

Mike let you go, and you were preparing to storm back up the stairs of the castle to prove a point to him before the double doors swung open, revealing the very three people that you didn't want to talk to. Erwin met your eyes immediately, and both of you refused to look away in the staring contest. His eyes didn't shine, they merely looked bottomless with thoughts and threats and strategies. This was a man, you realized, that thought of life as a chess game. He was playing with his pieces, and fate was playing as his opponent. 

That made you wonder which piece you were in Erwin's game. And which side you were even on.

Out of the corner of your eyes you saw Levi tense up as his eyes rested on your hand, and then shot to Mike. The raven haired man stalked his way to Mike, snarling under his breath, as Hanji waltzed after him in an overjoyed stupor. She was still happy because of the information, you realized. But Levi marched up to Mike and hissed in his ear, with Hanji grinning around at the other soldiers. You moved slowly, walking up the stairs to the castle. Erwin watched your progress, moving steadily closer and closer to him.

And then you walked past him. He didn't do anything except follow you with his eyes, watching as you walked into the castle without so much as a single hiss. You desperately wanted to hurt them, to show them the anger that they'd made... But then you might get yourself hurt and sent home. And it was supposedly for the greater good. 

You'd never talked yourself out of a fight before. But you knew that there was sometimes greater strength in walking away from a fight than staying and fighting it.

As you firmly shut the door behind you, a shadow whipped through the closing gap right before the final moment and stood beside you before it closed just to, startling you into stillness. Levi sighed as he shut the door all of the way, grabbed your hand and lead you down the corridor. 

“What are you doing?” You ask, your voice hollow. Was he really testing you? Did he want to get punched?

“I'm going to see if Mike did anything else to hurt you before I teach him a lesson,” Levi growled, pulling you along the twisting passages and through many doors. You occasionally heard the laughter of the other students going about their duties, and were sorely tempted to run for them and their help. But Levi only tightened his grip round your wrist and pulled you harder.

“Mike didn't do anything,” you snarled, before quickly shutting down your anger. “Unlike others...”

“Tch.”

Levi reached the door that he was obviously aiming for before kicking it open and pulling you through, shutting the door behind you. It was a very clean office, with a shining desk and a bookcase behind it with neatly organised papers and books. The open window was to your left, and it allowed the light from outside to pour inside, making it seem very open and clean. There was another door to your right, which you assumed led to his bedroom. Levi was utterly familiar with these surroundings, however, and he stalked his way to the desk and pulled out a bottle of alcohol and new bandages, which were much cleaner and looked like they'd fit better than the ones that Mike had used. 

Coming back to your side, Levi pushed you into the window seat, a bench just below the window. He also sat down next to you, gingerly taking your hands again. “Are you not going to hit me?” Levi said, taking the slightly dirty bandages from your hands and throwing them into a bin underneath his desk.

“I'm thinking about doing much more than that,” you snap, “but my knuckles already hurt enough.”

“I'm not going to apologize,” Levi said, suddenly dabbing your cuts with a cloth doused in alcohol. The sharp pain stung you, and involuntary tears pricked your eyes as you bit your lip and willed them to go away. You couldn't let Levi see you cry just because of a little pain. “I need to save humanity... And we needed that knowledge to help us. So I can't apologize for what I did... Because if I had to do it again, I would.”

“There were better ways to ask for me to help you,” you snarled, baring your teeth at him.

“Like what?” Levi reacted just as abruptly. You two glared at each other before you winced, Levi's hand squeezing yours too tightly. He noticed immediately, adjusting his grip and gently placing the bandages in all of the right areas.

“Like, I don't know, talking to me about it? Like a rational human being? Or did that never occur to you?”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me that Erwin did not try that.” You fell silent. Erwin had tried talking... But due to your insistence, he had had to resort to other measures.

Then you perked up with indignity. “Then why the hell did you get involved?”

“Because I thought you wouldn't react! I thought that you'd believe in me enough to know that I wouldn't want to do it, or that Erwin would want to hold that knife to my throat!” Levi's voice hitched, and he stood up and walked back to his desk. You looked down at your hands only to find them newly bandaged and done. Levi looked at you once more as you stood to leave, and decided to throw one more attack at you. “I thought that you'd never admit to caring about me so much that you'd give up memories that hurt you to other people.”

“I don't care about you,” you attacked back, seeing Levi's eyes flare at the enjoyment of the argument. “I just thought that humanity needed you too much for you to just die – especially at the hands of your own commander, no less.”

“Liar.” Levi said simply, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Annoyance flairs up at the familiar word and Levi's eyes sparkle as he sees that he was right within your facial expression. 

You fought the urge to roll your eyes, or cry, or scream – or all three at once. “You know, I'm getting sick of being called that.”

“But unlike what you say, it's the truth - isn't it?”

You walked out, slamming the door exceptionally loud to tell him exactly what you thought about his words.

***

That evening, you sneaked out of your private 'training' with Levi and joined your classmates in their evening ride. You started with a light trot, along with everyone else, and enjoyed being totally outside the Survey Corps' grounds. Sasha, Christa and Ymir were laughing on their horses as they all told jokes, and Mikasa, Eren and Armin were well-liked within your team. Reiner and Bertoldt were fast becoming friends with them, and you even sometimes thought that Jean was liked. Marco's constant presence helped, though.

The guard in charge of you reined his horse to a halt, just on top of a hill. Skira rushed to join him, and you allowed her some fun as she galloped towards him. The guard had gotten down from his horse and was looking at the one tree that was in the area, a tall oak tree that twisted and turned. The green leaves were a beautiful shade of emerald in the sunset, and the hill allowed you all to see for miles around. The bliss of having an endless landscape made you feel giddy with excitement, with freedom. You caught Marco's eye and grinned at him, knowing that the awe on his face must have looked similar to your own. 

But then your guard whipped back onto his horse. “Get ready to ride back to Survey Corps at full speed!”

“What?” You said, and he turned to look at you. Because you were so close, he had heard you. 

“This is enemy territory.”

“How do you know that?” Jean asked, riding up to be at your side. All of your friends fell silent to hear the guard's answer, and even Annie looked a little interested as she cocked her head to listen closer.

“Within titans, they have their own organisations - there's the royal family, and several clans that all have their own territory. And the mark that's carved on the tree belongs to the clan that is one of the most powerful in this country - the royal family's right hand.”

Christa gasped, and the guard took that as his only answer before he cantered off, inspiring everyone else to follow him. Skira moved to follow them, and you allowed her to move on her own as your own head whipped around to look at the mark that the guard had been talking about. It only allowed you two seconds to find and see the mark, but it was enough.

There, carved into the wood, was the same mark as your tattoo.

Your heart stopped.

You just... Stopped.

And you weren't sure when you were going to start again.


	18. Chapter 18 - The Walls

You let the rest of the week dance by, spending every free moment that you could in the library. The official Survey Corps' library wasn't nearly as impressive as the one that was back at your school, but the collection that was there was rather impressive compared to the number of books that there actually were.

Annie was the only one who bothered to accompany you, her sharp eyes never far from you and your pile of books. You didn't know why she even deigned to grace you with her silent and stubborn self, but you appreciated the fact that someone was there with you, even as the sun set and you continued researching. Another thing that you were thankful for was her silence. She never once asked what you were looking for, or why you were reading all of the books about titans.

Books about the royal family were untouched - you didn't care about them. You were engrossed in the books about the right hand to the royals, the protectors; the family that had conquered the most land out of all of the titans in the world. Their name was not mentioned, so all that you knew about them was that their mark was on your skin - and Annie's. You badly wanted to ask her about it, wondering if she was like you and just woke up with the mark on her skin as well... But that would make her aware that you knew about the mark. 

She didn't know about your mark either; how could she, when you kept it hidden? No one except you knew anything about it... Maybe you were safe, just overthinking everything due to the panic of finding out new information. 

You snapped the book closed, which was merely contemplating the titan's eating habits. Being already fully aware of their diets, you slumped down in your seat and allowed your tired eyes to wander. Seeing other things than words and paper was strange for a few seconds - you were disorientated for a few seconds before your surroundings twisted into the correct places and you could make sense of it all.

There was only one candle burning in its holder on the centre of the long table. Three piles of books surrounded you, and you groaned as you made yourself stand up to put them away in roughly the same area in which you got them. Annie looked up from her own book and watched you put the leather bound books back, sliding them neatly into the available spaces underneath the cobwebs and dust. Levi hadn't been in here yet, if the amount of dust and dirt were anything to go by. 

After the books were away and the candle had been blown out, you walked out of the library and back up the stairs to your room, contemplating your own thoughts. You had been right to hide the tattoo - what if an official had seen it? You highly doubted that you'd be standing here today if you hadn't hidden the mark underneath clothes. You opened the door to your room, looking around you before stepping in. Annie was a few steps behind you, and you made eye contact for a few seconds before she nodded slightly, turning on her heel and slouched back to where her room was.

Sasha and Ymir didn't stir as you quietly closed the door, but Mikasa was sitting on the chair underneath the window, her arms closed around her knees in order to make a rest for her head. Her eyes followed you as you neared her, holding out your hand to stroke her hair slightly.

The soft inky hair felt wonderful to your fingers, and you guided her into standing up and going back to her own bed. “Why aren't you already sleeping, Mikasa?”

“You weren't here, and so I thought I'd wait until you got here.”

That surprised you. Mikasa was sometimes Annie's rival in her emotionless face, although when she was with Eren she let that mask go and let herself laugh. “I was just wondering... How can you and Eren be related? You guys both look too different.”

“I was adopted by his family after my own parents were killed by thugs,” Mikasa said softly. “Eren saved me from being killed by them too.” When she had said that she owed her life to Eren, she hadn't been lying or exaggerating. 

“So what's your name? Or is it Mikasa Yeager?”

She blushed lightly, climbing into her bed whilst you slipped out of your uniform and into your pyjamas. “No, I'm Mikasa Ackerman. I was not too young when the thugs killed my family – I still remember the name.”

“Ackerman?” You said, not realizing that your voice had gotten louder in shock until Sasha murmured in her sleep. Adjusting the volume, you frantically checked that you hadn't misheard. “As in, Ackerman?”

“I don't think that I'm related to that man,” Mikasa interjected quickly, tiredness making her voice slur slightly. “For that, I was too young – my parents didn't have time to explain if I had any other relatives.”

“I'm sorry,” you told her, rolling into your bed. Mikasa sighed slightly before falling asleep, which you could hear immediately from her soft breathing. Sasha snorted occasionally, but other than that your room was silent. Ymir didn't move or make any sound whilst she slept, a factor that you were now thankful for as you allowed yourself to relax into sleep.

***

“You're not coming?!”

All students were now on the front lawn of the castle with bags fully packed and horses ready to go. Skira nudged your arm, but you paid her no mind as you glared at the man in front of you. Levi was still in his uniform, with Erwin and Hanji ten meters away looking over the slight chaos of the students. 

“No,” Levi said, glaring right back at you. “Don't you understand? I was here before I was at that dratted and dirty school. I have jobs to do here before I come back.”

“But –“

“But nothing. You've still got a week of the trip to spend at the garrison until you even head back, and I should be done with the paperwork by then – although I’m not entirely sure if we’re going back to school,” Levi glanced behind him then, his eyes flicking to Erwin for only a second. 

You couldn't believe it. You had gotten used to Levi's presence as your partner that just imagining the rest of the trip without him felt empty- even despite the angst that was still coursing through your blood at his actions. “But you're my partner! What the hell am I supposed to do?”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Krista hasn't got a partner either, due to that woman staying.” He sent a glare back to Hanji, who was saying stuff rather fast to Erwin. “So go and play the good hero with her. She'll be your partner just for the rest of the trip.”

“And why can't you just do the paperwork later?”

“Why do you even care?” Levi fired back, the unexpected question making you lose your footing. “I thought you were mad at me.”

“I am!” You shout, turning around and climbing on top of Skira. “And I'm even more so now. Skiving off the trip... Why do they even let you get away with it?”

“I don't think you get just how much work I've got to do.” Levi snapped, before stepping closer to you and roughly placing your bags onto the back of the saddle, securing them so that they wouldn't fall off during the travel. “I’m not like you - I'm not just some brat playing at being the assassin.”

“Really?” You say, sarcasm coating the word. “Because that's all I see.”

“Only when you look in the mirror.”

Pixis blew a whistle at the front of the group, and all of the students straightened up and got themselves into position. You quickly found Krista and trot up to her, nodding quickly before twisting around to see where Levi was. He was still on the steps, but he had been joined by the other two. As you all started to move off, your eyes met with his for a few seconds. His expression softened and his lips formed words, but then you moved into the thick forest and he was out of sight.

You had already read his words.

'Stay alive. Please.'

***

Hours of travelling later, you were back at the city. People were looking up at you in wonder, admiring the impressive body of students. Even though your numbers had been halved since you had first come here, the amount of you was quite impressive. You made your way to the barracks, where you left Skira with Krista's quiet and well-behaved mare. 

All of you then had to line up to get into the buildings where you were given food, which was exactly the same as the rations that the Survey Corps had given to you. Sasha was still over-joyed, however, as she gorged herself on the bread and potatoes that the other students didn't want. Eren sat next to you, with Marco, Jean and Armin opposite. You all told jokes and laughed despite the lack of good food, and prepared yourselves for the last week of the trip. 

It was dull, you realized, without Levi by your side. You had allowed yourself to become reliant on his presence; wanting him next to you was a weakness. It was a similar feeling with Isabel... Although you were glad that she wasn't here, somehow. She'd probably get herself hurt, and she was much better with Farlan looking after her. 

“So we're all going to be joining the Survey Corps after surviving through Assassination Academy, yes?” Eren was saying, and you rolled your eyes at the common question before turning to hear everyone's answers. Jean sniggered, but you quickly kicked him hoping that Eren wouldn't notice. The teal-eyed boy, however, was very aware of Jean. “What are you laughing about?”

“Anyone who actually joins the Survey Corps is dead,” Jean says, his tone making it very clear that he thought of himself as supremely smart. “So why would anyone join?”

“Are you serious?” Eren asked, and even you widened your eyes at Jean. “You've trained for this for about a year and you're not even going to join?”

“No way. I want to live, unlike you.”

“I'm going to live my life saving others!” Eren says, raising his voice and standing up. Jean stands too, and you and Marco both make eye contact and nod. Marco grabs Jean whilst you tug Eren back down to the bench, but both boys shake you off and stand up again.

“No, you're going to die a meaningless death fighting titans that will only be held back by the walls.” Jean mocks, and this time it was both you and Mikasa who stood up to restrain them. 

But as the two both growled at each other, Annie stands up, dragging the chair legs across the floor in a high pitched screech. They both break off from what was sure to be a rowdy shouting match, looking at her in slight fear as she walks up to them... You follow her with your eyes closely, wondering what she was doing. But she merely walks past them and shuts the door firmly behind her, obviously heading to her bed. But she left silence behind her, and you hit Jean firmly before he could start fighting again. 

Marco stood up with only a slightly disgusted look at his friend and you followed him outside, where fresh air and the night sky awaited. He stood by the wall, looking up at the moon, but you lightly hit his arm and smiled. “There's a much better view than that,” you say, and you take a running jump and heave yourself up onto the low roof. Marco joins you, and you both climb to the very top and lie there, looking up at the stars. You didn't say anything, thinking that what the boy needed was some quiet company who was not his loud-mouthed friend. But after a few minutes, Sasha joins you with some more bread, closely followed by Minna, Reiner and Bertoldt. You all just laid there, in silence, pondering.

“What are you thinking about?” Marco asked.

“People,” Minna said, and you marvelled at her soft voice. Despite training alongside her, you had never heard her speak before. She was a girl with black hair that was pulled into two ponytails at each side of her head, much more neatly than Isabel's messy hair. Her wide blue eyes were closed and her small face was pulled into a smile, signalling that the people that she was thinking about meant a lot to her. 

“A mission,” Reiner said, but his voice held much more regret. You turned over to your side and looked at him, thinking about your team every Friday. Did he know what happened to the people that you had guessed? Did he regret them?

“The walls,” Bertoldt said, and you allowed your thoughts to drift to the tall walls. They caged you in here, but at the same time meant that you were trapped within them if there was ever a breach. You had never thought of Bertoldt as the type to feel the same way, but he had never really spoken to you in great depth before.

“Y/N?”

“I'm thinking about the stars,” you lied, knowing that if you had said Levi's name, there would be questions to which you did not know the answer.

“The stars are pretty,” Reiner chimed in, and you closed your eyes in the bliss of the silence that followed.

Marco turned over, and since he was next to you he easily reached over and patted your arm. You turned your head, raising an eyebrow at him as he passed over a note. “This was in your saddle bag,” he breathed, not wanting to disturb the peaceful silence that you five had. “Don’t worry - I haven't looked at it.”

You took the paper as Marco turned to lie on his back, and unfolded it. 

‘Y/N,  
Be safe. Don't trust anyone that I wouldn't; Erwin suspects an attack soon. And don't think that I'm worried about you - I'm not. I know that you're more than capable to fight if an attack takes place. But still, be safe. You still owe me twenty four hours of your undivided service, remember?  
Levi.’

You smiled. The stars were indeed pretty tonight.

***

The next morning, you hurriedly got dressed and rushed to find your new group. Everyone had been put in different groups again, with regards to the different year groups - so at least you'd be with first years. The Garrison had said that the first years were in charge of maintaining the walls, which sounded very dull. You supposed that it was just cleaning the cannons and sweeping the top, which was sure to be very boring indeed. The second years were put on civilian surveillance, which meant just helping out and guarding the wall from the ground - you'd much rather be doing that. No one knew what the third years were doing, however.

The Garrison's quarters weren't impressive. It consisted of a massive building that only had one floor, and a couple of fields for training and gatherings. It was to the closest field that you walked towards now, alongside everyone else. All of the girls in the school had had to squeeze into one barrack, and although it had been made better by the fact that there were more than enough bunks, it still hadn't been a pleasant night. 

As everyone formed a massive group outside, a blond man with broad shoulders stepped onto the makeshift stage at the front of the lawn. He reminded you of Reiner with his lumbering gait, but since Reiner was right beside you and glaring at you to say anything, you decided to stay quiet. Marco and Jean were also just behind you, and you could hear whispered snatches of their conversation being about how Jean snored so loudly. Noting down the information so that you could tease him about it later, you look around in disinterest before the leader started to talk.

“Welcome to the Garrison! My name is Hannes, and I shall be in charge of all of you for this week.” He seemed to be a lot kinder than the other leaders, such as Pixis and Erwin. But you saw the faint flush across his cheeks, and the sway with which he walked. Alcohol, it seemed, made its way to even the leaders. “Now, for the groups: as I call your name, please proceed to walk to the gate just behind you with your team and await further instructions.”

The entire thing took a while. But when your name was finally called along with the rest of your new team, you grinned. Reiner grinned back, and you both walked towards the gate. Eren, Connie, Sasha, Minna and a boy called Thomas were already there and waiting for you, but before you walked through the gate with them you raised your hand and waved to Jean and Marco. Marco grinned widely and waved back, his freckled face looking so happy. Jean rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at you, and that was the last you saw of them before Eren claimed your attention by tripping over a rock.

“So we're in a team again, Pride,” Reiner said, his teasing tone only marred by a stream of coughs. You looked up at him worriedly, putting your hand to his forehead. Minna, the black haired girl, rushed to reach you, struggling through the members of your school that were still raptly listening for their own names to be called.

“Is Reiner alright?”

“I think that he's ill!” You say, although his forehead wasn't too hot. Maybe it was just something else... “Reiner, go and lie down in the barracks. I'll make some excuses for you, don't worry.”

“No, I can't do that,” Reiner told you sternly, standing up straight. You hit him on his shoulder, the loud thump making him gasp in light pain.

“Don't be an idiot,” you told him. “Go on, lie down.”

“But –“

“No buts. Just go and rest yourself before coming up here, understand?”

Reiner grumbles, but finally turns around and walks his steady way towards the wooden buildings. You smile at Minna, who returns the smile and runs to catch up with the rest of your team. “Is everything alright with dear old Wrath?” Sasha checked, using his name within your little team; chuckling, you ruffled her hair and nodded.

“Yeah, he's alright. He's left us to clean the walls on our own, though!”

Eren groaned. “I just want to kill all titans. How is cleaning the wall meant to help me with that?”

You shrug, and link arms with Connie. You walked into the marketplace, and the bustling life of the people inside made you look up and around in quirky interest. Eren, too, was looking around in wonder before you all reached the very base of the wall. There was a tall building reaching the height of the wall, which housed the winding stairs that you would now have to climb. The guard checked all of your uniforms and names, before unlocking the door and stepping aside to let you inside. 

Minna thanked the guard as you all entered the building. It was very narrow and unforgiving - you heard Eren and Connie grunt as they bumped into each other due to the lack of space. Looking up, however, was what you were meant to do. Hundreds of stairs were leading up, and the steepness of them made even your legs ache just imagining going up them. A glint of light could be seen at the top, signalling the exit. You turned and grinned at your team, to which Connie narrowed his eyes at you.

“Well, that's a lot of stairs.” You said, making your way to the very first step. “How about a little race?”

***

You stand tall, your hands on your hips as you laugh over the rest of your teammates. They were all panting in various positions, with Connie on his back on the ground and Eren on all fours. Thomas, the blond boy with a smaller body than Reiner, stood up and stretched his arms, helping his breathing. Naturally, you had beaten all of them in the little race, but you were slightly winded yourself. There were a lot of stairs... Imagining what it would be like to climb them every day, you shuddered. It made sense that even though the guards with the Garrison were known to be drunkards, they were still in good shape.

The top of the wall was very similar to the top of the wall around your school - it was made of sturdy sandstone, and although it was a strong foundation, it led to everything being dusty with sand. A feeble barrier was on either edge, which you didn't trust for a second - it was merely a short miniature wall, which would only come up to the top of your knees. On one side of the wall, you glanced down to see the many houses and roads that built the civilization of the last scraps of humanity. On the other, there were the fields and trees that signalled the territory of the titans. 

Shaking your head to clear the depressing thoughts from it, you rolled up your sleeves and turned to survey the cannons that were mounted along the edge of the wall that was closest to the wilderness. They looked decent enough, and you thought that the sheer number of the cannons were enough to take out any serious threats. 

At least you and your team weren't alone on the walls. If you squinted, you could see another group cleaning their set of cannons a few hundred meters along from you. “Come on, losers,” you said, just as Minna reached the top clutching her side, “let's clean.”

“Cleaning is for the weak,” Eren complained, running his hands through his sweaty hair and ruffling the brown strands so that they stood up and made him look like an owl. 

“Have you not met Levi Ackerman,” Connie asked, raising his eyebrows sceptically. “He's one of the strongest there is, man. And he cleans like crazy.”

“Yeah, but he's a weirdo,” Eren said, shuddering at the thought of Levi as you laughed. “He's the exception to every rule.”

“I swear there was a rule about the minimum height of a soldier...” Connie muttered, finally heaving himself to his feet. “Wait, where'd Sasha go?”

You looked around, but the brown haired girl was nowhere to be seen. Minna looked scandalized, looking back down the staircase in fright. “I was the last one to go up,” she said, “and I didn't see Sasha at all!”

“She'll be fine,” Connie reassured her, awkwardly putting his hand on Minna's arm. “Sasha isn't one to just wander off for nothing.”

“That isn't reassuring at all,” Thomas muttered as he grabbed a bucket and crouched down by the edge of the wall. “Gosh, we're so high off the ground.”

“That's just to stop the titans though,” Eren said, joining him by the edge. You grabbed both of their collars and tugged them away from the edge. “Y/N! What was that for!?”

“Didn't anyone ever teach you to stay away from the edge?” You snapped, and both boys looked so ashamed that you laughed at them. “It's common sense, guys.”

“Sasha!” Connie shouted, and all of you turned around to see said girl running towards you with something clutched in her arms. “What... Where were you?”

“I smelt meat,” Sasha drooled, and brandished the huge leg of meat in your faces. It was so huge and glossy that even your mouth watered at the sight of it. When soldiers had to survive on watery stew, potatoes and bread for three weeks, the beautiful view of that amount of meat was a joy to witness. “I may have stolen it from that Hannes' private store, but it'll be worth it, right?”

“This is why we call you Gluttony!” Connie said exasperatedly, although you could already distinguish the gleam in his eyes – the very reason that you all likewise called him Greed. “We're going to get in so much trouble!”

“Hurry and put it back, Sasha!” Eren and Minna said, but the girl hardly took notice of them as she crouched by one of the empty boxes by the cannons.

“Since we're not all convinced, I'll just put it in here until lunch comes...” Sasha said, not taking her eyes off the meat until the lid of the box was covering it. 

Eren sighed, and Thomas rolled his eyes at the glutton girl. Connie high-fived her, congratulating her on the successful steal. You glared at everyone, but your stomach felt particularly wanting of some juicy meat... But you focused on Eren as he stood again by the edge of the wall, looking out onto the fields that had once belonged to humanity. “Humanity starts its comeback from the titans now.” He said, his teal eyes looking distant and faraway. “I'll finish my training, and then I'll be the best soldier ever in taking down the titans. Just you wait and see.”

Thomas started a slow and sarcastic clap, and you cracked a smile as Connie joined in. Eren turned and gave you all an extravagant bow, but Minna gasped and pointed to something on the ground, something that was moving. A cloaked figure was running across the grass, and it normally wouldn't have scared you all so much. After all, it was just one figure...

But it was on the wrong side of the wall.

It was a titan.

You crouched down near the edge, and your behaviour drew the attention of Thomas who crouched down with you as you both watched the titan run along the wall until it was by the one door, the one exit and entrance to the city. It looked a little disfigured, but due to the distance between you and it, you couldn't make out what was wrong with it. That is, until it pulled the bulk off of its back and pointed it at you.

“DUCK!” You screamed, and you could only watch as the titan shot a huge cannon ball at you. Smoke and steam also hissed into appearance, clouding your vision of the titan as the cannonball landed somewhere near you, and the wall beneath your body shook with the impact of it. Your mind only had a brief second to marvel at the technology with which the titans were using, but then a wrench of your stomach told you that a second hit was coming. You grabbed whoever was near you and rolled away from the edge, dragging them with you. Rubble and fragmented pieces poked your back, but you kept moving.

A second later, you knew that you had done the right thing as the second shot from the titan on the ground took out at least five cannons by being shot at the top of the wall, taking out the ground on which they had been stood. You couldn't think and couldn't see due to the amount of smoke and steam that the titan was shooting with, but you jumped up anyway. The titan was taking out the defensive cannons... He was attacking the city.

“The cannons!” You heard Minna cry out in panic, but you had never felt so helpless. Even as Sasha wriggled her way free of your arms and sprinted away from you in a shocked jerk of a movement, you couldn't do anything.

“I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!” 

You heard Eren's yell as it pierced through the clouded air, and saw the outline of a boy advance towards the edge of the wall - you shot out, your speed unimaginable and grabbed his shirt, holding him back. You both held your breath, waiting for the next attack... But there was none. The smoke began to clear, and you sprinted down the staircase, begging that nothing had happened, hoping that the worst of the damage had been done to the cannons... There were so many stairs, and your legs shook with fear as you sprinted as fast as you could down them. You could hear at least three people behind you, trying to keep up with you. You smashed through the door, knocking it off of its hinges, and ran the short distance towards the door.

You wished you hadn't.

Skidding to a halt, you take a gasping breath and saw that the cannonballs that the titan had fired were not just being aimed at you and the defensive cannons. There was now a giant hole where the door should have been, the wide entrance showing the outside world. In some cases, you knew this would be viewed as a symbol of freedom, with the door being gone and showing the green picture of nature on the other side.

But this did not mean freedom.

This only meant death.


	19. Chapter 19 - The Swordsman

You weren't exactly sure of what was going on.

All you could see was the giant hole in the wall, and you knew that it was only due to a small miracle that the titans hadn't already started gushing in to start their feast. But Eren's hand clamped itself around your arm, snapping you back into consciousness of where you were. You had been in the process of taking steady steps towards where the door should have been, but now you were pulled along like a doll due to Eren dragging you away.

“The - the people! Eren, stop!”

“I can't, Y/N,” Eren shouted above the screaming of the public as they saw that their precious protection had been shot down. “We need to regroup. We need a formation.”

“But - we need to help the people!” You tugged harshly on Eren's hold, but Connie joined you as you were forced into running down the street, grabbing your other arm. “Stop it! We need to go and help... We need to-“

“We need a plan!” Connie shouted as the two boys tugged you along even harsher. You couldn't help looking back, looking at the gaping hole... By now, titans must have found their way into the city, and those screams couldn't just be from the shock. There could be people that needed you right now...

But then your trio flew across the boundary to the Garrison, where most of the students were already gathered in frantic lines. Hannes, the leader, was yelling continuously, and you soon picked up on his gist. “What? We're still expected to fight?” Connie said. “We haven't even finished training!”

“Shut up and get yourself suited up,” snapped Sasha as you passed her in the line. She was pulling on all of the straps to what you knew was 3DMG.

“We have no idea how to use those things!” Connie complained, but you firmly planted your feet into the ground and yanked your arms out of their grasps. Using their confusion as a mask, you slipped away and got yourself into one of the lines to get one of the 3DMGs, which was right behind Jean, Marco and Armin.

“I've studied these,” Armin was saying to Marco, rushing to explain the function and the aims of the gears. Jean was just looking around, like a lost human. 

“I was just meant to get into the military police,” he whispered to himself, “I wasn't meant to ever even see a titan. And now I have to fight them?”

You slapped him, the loud sound making several people stop their fretting and look at you in shock. “Don't be pathetic,” you said, your own nerves frayed due to the amount of time being lost with just being suited up. “The people don't know how to fight titans. I doubt any of them have really been in a fight for their lives. If we don't save them, who will?”

“The officials, who have trained for this?” Jean said in slight stupor, raising a hand to cup the left side of his face.

“You really think that there are enough officials for a catastrophe this size? Face it Jean... You saw those guards at the military police. The most fighting that they do is in card games. They're useless. We are the ones who will save the people now.”

Jean swallowed, his eyes fixed on the ground. “I'm just one human. How much help can just one human do?”

“I am just one human. Marco is just one human. Levi is just one human. So what? If we all think like you, the thoughts of a coward, then there will be no more humans left in the city at this rate.” Out of the corner of your eyes, you could see Eren reaching the end of the line and being presented with 3DMG, which he strapped on with the help of Mikasa - who had already seemed to be in sync with the weird pattern of straps and boxes. “Eren is willing to fight. And he knows that he's just one human, but he doesn't care, Jean. He doesn't care because he is not a coward. He doesn't care because he knows that he can save people from having his past and his hurting. He is a better person than you.”

Jean stood up straighter, his eyes finally fixed on yours. “Like hell he is. He's just stupid.”

You felt empty. What more could you say to a coward? Marco coughed pointedly, and you turned around to see that you were being presented with your own gears. You reached out to take them, your hands shaking slightly in anger, before Jean pushed his way in front of you and grabbed it, thrusting his chin up into the air. 

“Just you wait, Y/N,” he snarled, strutting his way away from you. “I'll show you who the stupid one is, saying that he is better than me.”

Marco grinned at you, and you smiled as you were then given a new set of gears. You fixed them into place as best as you could, and after gaining Armin's approval you patted Marco on the shoulder. “Do me a favour?”

“Yes?”

“Don't die out there,” you smiled, and moved into position. You were ready to fight.

***

You were all hurriedly put into groups, and then you were allowed to move off. Christa nodded at you firmly, Ymir hovering close to her side. Eren, Armin and Connie all had grim faces but still met eyes with you. Thomas and a few second years were there as well, but no third years were on your team. You all knew the plan - take down titans, protect the people, keep to your own designated area. You were all going to be using the 3DMG, but having to get used to them on the fly was going to be hard. 

A whistle was blown somewhere in the far off distance, and you all tensed. You slid the swords of the 3DMG out of their holders, the silvery blades winking at you. You didn't like using duel swords as much as your two daggers. But for humanity, right now, you would do anything. You had to save all of those that you could.

The second whistle shriek came all too soon. Before you knew it, your fingers were squeezing the trigger of the gears and the wire came flying out. You allowed it to take you, to make you fly through the air, to just balance your weight around your hips. The straps were uncomfortable; they incessantly tugged around your thighs and waist, but you could handle that. You could handle anything; the wind whipped itself around your frame, making your eyes tear up slightly as you followed the second years to where your area was supposed to be.

The people were currently being evacuated, which is why even as you ran along the rooftops of their home, you didn't see many of them. “Have you trained on this before, first year?” A brown haired boy asked, dropping back slightly to talk to you. “Did you sneak out to train?”

“No, this is my first time.”

“I don't believe you,” he said, focusing his sharp gaze onto the terrain before him. You glanced behind you to see the rest of the first years sprinting as fast as they could along the rooftops, using the gear only when necessary. “When I first used that gear, I landed on my head and couldn't walk for three days.” You cocked an eyebrow at him. “I'm Mylius, by the way.”

You opened your mouth to reply, but then you spotted a black figure on the ground below you. You shot the wire to just below the roof on the other side, swinging yourself down to swipe at it with your swords. One of them missed, but the other whipped through their neck in a frighteningly easy movement. Blood splattered along the wall of one of the houses, but you didn't care about that. You felt like you were going to hit the ground, but due to the wire, you swung back up. The wire retreated, and you used the momentum to gain your footing back onto the roof and continued running, jumping over the short gaps in housing. On the other side, you could see Mylius' shocked face above the others, but you didn't feel anything other than fright.

The swords in your hands were so sharp, so thin and easy to slice. It was scary to think that killing things had become so easy. You skidded to a halt, stopping just on the edge of the roof. The second years had stopped a few meters back, and were spreading out to prepare themselves for searching and holding off the titans. You turned back to see the rest of the first years catch up. Raising a hand and opening your mouth to say something stupid, you only caught the sense of doom a few milliseconds before it happened.

Titans suddenly jumped into view, bursting onto the rooftops in their black cloaks and their weapons held high. You couldn't do anything for a second - they were all on the other line of rooftops, which was ten meters away from you. It took you a second longer to remember that you had 3DMG, and then another second to shoot the wires into the highest point of the opposite roof that you could. 

And in those few seconds, a lot happened.

You hadn't known Mylius very long. A few seconds, in fact. But a few seconds was all it took for him to die, the titans behind him surrounding him and clawing into his neck. You screamed for him, the angry and desperate sound ringing in your ears, but you were in the air. You could not do anything.

Feeling helpless was the worst part. 

But then your feet touched the solid foundation of the roof.

And you knew that suddenly, it was going to be okay.

Because your vision had long since turned red, and your swords were more than ready for blood.

So you took one step, and another. You flew to the nearest group of titans, ducking and weaving your way through the gaps between them. You ran right through them, hearing the grunts of confusion that they were giving you. But then blood sprayed and they felt the swords that had long since gone through their stomachs finally leaping into their senses. They were dead before they hit the ground. 

They came and they fell. It was a pattern now, as you danced and sliced. They came, and you sliced. You sliced, and they fell. It was an endless cycle.

But then you froze, your swords outstretched. You could feel the heat from the blood on your face, and the burn from the sword handles on your fingers, and then felt the thud of the last titan on the roof. The tiles gave way underneath that one, and the clatter of them landing on the ground below you and smashing was a wake-up call. You stood up straight, shoving your swords into the sheaths at your sides. You wiped your face with your sleeves, hating the stickiness of the blood on your face. 

“Armin, snap out of it.”

You turned to see Armin crouching on the roof, his eyes wide and his mouth gaping in terror. Connie knelt at his side, shaking his shoulder to get some kind of reaction... But even as you watched, Armin stayed frozen in terror. You glanced around, seeing the corpses of the titans, seeing the dead bodies of two of the second years underneath them. You didn't even know the other one's name; nor did you know anything about Mylius. Did he have a family to grieve him?

The last second year gave you a terrified look before walking to comfort Christa, who was shaking in Ymir's arms. You couldn't bring yourself to go and talk to her yet, and gently walked towards Armin to try and help him. “Armin, you've got to wake up.” You slap a hand across his cheek, wincing slightly at the blood you left on his face. “Armin, snap out of it. This is no time to be freaking out.”

Connie glanced uneasily up at you before turning his attention back to Armin. “Come on buddy. We've got to move now.”

You could see Armin come back to himself, seeing his eyes focus on what was in front of him instead of him. “He saved me...”

“I know,” Connie answered with his voice unusually grave. “I saw it. It was very brave.”

“But I couldn't save him in return.”

You look at the two in confusion, before shaking your head to clear your thoughts. Groaning and stretching out your joints, you call out. “Eren? How did your titan killing go?”

Silence answered you. You opened your eyes slowly, and saw the confirmation in Armin's eyes as the tears leaked out. “Y/N...He… Eren…” He said in a strangled voice.

You held up a hand, stopping him from going on. You didn't need words. You already knew.

You had been too late. Too late for Mylius. Too late for Armin.

Too late for Eren.

***

“Y/N, that's not our area!”

“Come back, you're going too far!”

“Can you not hear us? You're going to run out of gas!”

You could hear your team shouting at you - you weren't deaf. But right now you were too angry. You didn't let yourself cry for the teal-eyed boy that you'd come to like and befriend. His voice had always been too loud, which made it no wonder that he and Jean had immediately come to compete with each other. He had come to make everyone hope about a future without titans, without the constant threats. And now Eren was dead and he wasn't going to come back.

And it just made you so angry.

'How dare you.' You thought as you sliced down another titan, sweeping so close to the floor that the tips of your shoes scrape along the cobblestones. You knew that this wasn't your area to cover, but you didn't care. A titan was a titan, no matter which area it was in. 'How dare you', you thought again as you nearly tripped over a roof, but flipped over and stabbed another titan. 

You ran through the city like that, sometimes flying and sometimes just falling. But then you stopped running, your legs shaking from the fatigue, and you fell to your knees. You lean forwards, your sword handles slippery from the blood. Feeling your body shake, you close your eyes, but then a tear works its way down your face to fall onto the ground.

You weren't going to cry.

You were too strong for that.

But even as you chanted those words to yourself, you tipped back your head and howled and let the tears fall down.

 

“What do we have here?”

“Another girl, I see.”

“But she's already crying, boss. Did we scare her?”

You choked silently, clenching your teeth together to stop yourself from crying any more tears. Tears did nothing except blur your vision, which you did not need in a fight right now. And you were definitely going to give these monsters a fight.

“Shut up,” you growled at them, looking up. There were three of them ten meters away, with the tallest one in front. Their signature black cloaks were wrapped around their bodies loosely, so you could never tell if they were male or female unless you had a very good eye. The hoods that were attached were very long, making it impossible to see their faces unless it was drawn back. They looked every bit of the monsters that they were.

The two behind the taller titan chuckled, cackling voices that croaked and snarled. “I think she has a bit of fight in her. Can I eat her?”

“She has 3DMG,” the taller one said quietly, and you immediately were wary of him - you could hear the intelligence behind the voice, behind the cloak. “Take it off her.”

“Right you are.”

“That stuff is real impressive, isn't it boss?”

The left titan started stalking his way towards you, and you sighed. Shoving thoughts of Eren and how much you were going to miss him away, you relaxed your shoulders and flexed your fingers around the blades of the gears. Grieving would come later. Crying would be done when there weren't more titans to kill.

You allowed him to come closer, and when he raised his arm - left arm - to punch you, you ducked swiftly and rolled to the side, hoisting yourself up onto your feet. Standing up and stretching out in the seconds that you'd made for yourself was necessary. Your muscles cramped and your feet were already straining to move in the way that you wanted. Fatigue was creeping in.

But as the titan raised his arm again, you made your body forget its tiredness as you whipped yourself into his left side, the blades already slicing forwards in unison. You were getting the hang of using two, although you'd still prefer your daggers.

As blood sprayed, you danced away from the body as it fell into the dust at your feet. Your eyes shoot to where the leader was standing, but then you dart around in a slight panic upon finding only him there. Where was the second one? Where'd he go? 

You heard him slashing at your back just a second too late.

It didn't stop you turning, twisting and ducking to avoid the blow. But your eyes saw the cleaver gripped in his two hands, swiping its bloodthirsty way towards you, and your heart stopped. There was no way that there was enough time for you to avoid it, or parry it. The only option was to take it.

“Y/N!”

A shadow - that's all it was - swooped in between you and the blade, and you just saw the knife cut clean through the figure as though it was nothing, cutting so close to you that it slit your cloak. But the shadow had stopped it from cleaving its way through your body, physically slowed it down so that you'd be spared. You didn't see the shadow's face... But you'd recognize the voice with which it yelled anywhere. It was a voice that had once called to your death, a voice that had haunted a few of your nightmares.

“Franz?” You said, quietly at first but then louder. “Franz!”

The boy that you'd freed lay on the ground in two broken pieces. There was too much blood to make sense of where his torso began and where it ended, but his eyes were what you were looking for. But the moment that you looked at them, you knew that he was already gone. A debt repaid. You'd freed him in the prison, and he'd died saving your life.

You swayed, the feeling of sickness creeping in from your stomach and making your blood fizz. He'd just died right in front of you... For you. And there was just something about being torn in two with a cleaver that pushed you off the edge. You quickly found the cleaver-wielding titan again, staggering his way towards you, and raised your swords. Franz had been a swordsman; you would win this battle in his way.

The cleaver sliced towards you again, in the same way that it had before. But now you were ready, you were facing it with two swords. So, lifting them up and crossing them over themselves in an 'X', you prepared yourself for the blow. Your feet were spread apart, wide, and you lifted yourself onto the balls of your feet so that you were ready to dig your heels into the ground. The cleaver crashed right into your defensive position, the clash of metal and metal making your ears ring in an echo of it. Your swords didn't give an inch - you had taken it.

But then you pushed against the cleaver with all of your might, throwing the titan off balance. Then you dug your heels in and ran towards him with your swords still in the 'X', but this time, it was for offense. And so you slashed them through him, because you knew there was no chance of you getting hurt. The cleaver had been too heavy for him to handle; you had known that the moment he had demonstrated that he could only swing it one way. 

And he died, facing the duel swords, facing the technique that Franz would have used if he hadn't been killed. As he fell, you lashed out with your leg, kicking his foul body away from Franz's. The monster didn't deserve to die next to him. The monster didn't deserve anything except hell.

But you drew yourself up, banishing him from your mind. He didn't matter to you anymore; he was dead. There was nothing more that you could do. Turning around and glaring at your surroundings, you froze.

The leader titan was still there, crossing his arms and surveying you. At least, you thought he was - it was very hard with the cloak obstructing his face to see where he was looking. That was what made fighting these things so difficult; you could never see who they were looking at, or who they were planning to attack next. 

But he wasn't alone. In the short amount of time that you had taken to kill his two followers, he had amassed another ten titans. They had the vital fighting sense of calm than the two you had just dispatched. Being calm was necessary in a fight. But their aura was just projecting it with such power - your heart felt heavy just looking at them. They'd require so much more effort than the other two, and all it would take was one mistake before you'd end up just like Franz.

The titans didn't attack straight away. They meandered their way towards you, and you sucked in a breath before realizing that you'd been holding it too long. Giving in slightly to your breathing, you panted lightly whilst watching every move that each titan made as they came steadily closer. Could you hold off ten titans and survive? 

You shook that question out of your head, cursing yourself for your mental weakness. Of course you could; it would be as easy and natural as breathing. You had trained for this; you had done too much, lost too much for your life just to end here.

Sliding your left foot backwards, you gripped your sword handles tighter as they rushed towards you. Time slowed, and your eyes darted around the scene furiously, trying to gather information or an opening with which to hit. But these titans were smart, swarming around you so that you had no space and no way to escape. They weren't about to go one on one with you, not after the demonstration of your strength that you'd given them. The two dead titans at your feet could attest to that.

You ducked down, a wooden staff swooping so close that it grazed the top of your head. The wielder grunted with the effort of swinging it, and your leg shot out to meet his. You just wanted to trip him, to down at least one, but he saw you coming. As he jumped, another titan's fist rushed to crush your shoulder, and a foot swung out of nowhere to kick your nose in. 

But as you were supporting yourself with your arms, you merely sapped your own strength so that you fell down to the cobblestone ground before rolling away to the right, missing both attacks. You couldn't go far - there were still seven titans waiting for an opening to kill you. You swiped out with a sword, hoping that in the crowded conditions that it would at least connect with one person, but the titans chuckled as they easily dodged the silver flashing by their faces.

You didn't appreciate being on the ground; squeezing the trigger on your swords seemed like the only comfortable option that you had. Wires shot out from the boxes at your sides, and you felt them connect rather than saw them. You were too busy dodging the second swing of the staff to look anywhere else. But then you felt a tug at your hips, and you were flying through the air away from the ground. Landing neatly on a nearby roof, you sprinted back towards them and jumped. They hadn't been expecting you to fly away, much less fly back.

So you beheaded one of them as you came back down, gravity pulling you closer to the ground. Nine more. Nine more. As you flipped yourself so that you'd land safely, you felt something move behind you, just a few meters away from your back.

Stars winked in front of your eyes, and you were falling before you even knew what hit you. Cloaked arms caught you before the stone floor did, and you blinked a few times before trying to run. But your arms weren't working the way that they should have been, and nor were your legs. Your eyes were the only things that could move, so as the titans laid you on the floor on your back, you could see exactly what had hit you.

There hadn't been just ten titans. The leader had been there too, but you'd been so preoccupied that you hadn't counted him as an attacker - a fatal mistake.

“Remove her gear,” the leader said, and the titans tore off your straps and boxes before throwing your only hope at escape away. A wagon appeared, drawn by titans, and you could already see that it was empty save for gears and swords. You didn't want to know how they had gotten more. “Load up.”

The titans grabbed you around your middle before throwing you into the wagon along with your gear. It was a harsh landing, and you cried out as you fell. A sword that had just been thrown in sliced you across your cheek, and the boxes were jutting uncomfortably into your legs and torso. You didn't have long to dwell on it, though, before you were tugged onto your knees with your arms tied behind you with rope that was too rough and dry. 

Once you were tied by both your ankles and your wrists, the titan binding you signalled to the driver, and you were off. You couldn't move - the leader had punched you right behind your right ear, causing your body to be stunned. It was a small miracle that you were even conscious right now after a blow like that... But what were the titans doing?   
The wagon moved out of the city, through the giant hole that the first titan had blown through the stone. There were so many titans walking alongside the wagon that you were in, and even if you could move you doubted that you'd get away alive. You didn't bother to count the number of titans that were there - you were seeing double, with the ground becoming the sky and the sky becoming the ground. But you could make sense of the situation - the titans were heading back to their territory, probably to boast of their success and gather backup to aid the domination of the outer wall of the city. 

But why were you alive?

As if in answer, the titan that you'd deemed as the leader climbed into the wagon and crouched just in front of you. You could tell it was him immediately from his gait, from his impressive height and from the way that even now, he had his arms crossed. “In case you were thinking stupid things like escaping,” the snarling, grating voice came, “there are over one hundred titans here that are all very hungry.”

You couldn't do much apart from glare. Your situation was bad. The ropes at your wrists were too tight to allow any movement, but that didn't stop you from trying anyway. If you could have moved, you would have head-butted the leader right in the place that you thought his forehead was. “And you're only alive because of one thing.” He reached out to you then, and you bared your teeth in a feral movement as your stomach twisted sickeningly. His gloved fingers hesitated, but you knew that he knew that you wouldn't hesitate if he came much closer. But his hand went too low for you to bite, to the collar of your shirt.

You knew then. Your tattoo had been spotted, somehow, by this titan - and he knew that he couldn't hurt you if he didn't want to be punished by those in charge. You were the specific property of the titan clan whose mark was now permanently tattooed onto your skin. If you were killed by him and his band of titans, they'd be in trouble.

The titan saw your understanding from the way your bared teeth relaxed, and you looked at him with vicious smugness. You were safe from death for a while, and you sure as hell were going to use it to your advantage.

There was a reason that you were the best.

And you were going to prove it.

 

****Levi's Point Of View****

The moment that I woke up, I felt wrong.

It wasn't a sickness type pf wrong, but it hovered in my stomach, leering at me. I kept my eyes scrunched closed as I sat up, the blanket of my bed falling from my frame to the floor. The room was too hot, too heavy. Maybe that was why I felt off.

I'd hardly slept, but that was normal; that couldn't be why I felt wrong. I couldn't remember the last time I'd slept for a decent amount of time. It was strange, I knew, to not sleep well despite knowing that I was perfectly safe. But as long as I was exhausted and forced myself to sleep for a short amount of time, at least I wouldn't dream.

When they say dreams can come true, they forget to tell you that nightmares are dreams too.

But my eyes opened, and I instantly groaned as I remembered the amount of paperwork I needed to catch up on. I'd left it last night because I hadn't been bothered, but I regretted that now. I heaved myself out of bed, immediately crossing the room to the window and opening it as wide as it could go. The fresh air gave me chills with the coolness of it, and my bare chest and arms immediately tensed. I really felt like something was wrong.

Hanji burst through my door, with arms full of paper and other instruments that I really couldn't be bothered to name. Her eyes shone behind her glasses, and I promptly grabbed the knife that I kept in the bottom drawer of my desk - I knew those eyes. 

“What the ever-loving hell are you doing in my bedroom?”

Hanji laughed, dumping herself onto my floor as my nose wrinkled in disgust. I'd just cleaned that floor, and now I'd have to do it again. “Good morning to you too, Levi!”

“It isn't a good morning until –“

“You've had a cup of tea, I know.” Hanji interrupted, obviously not paying attention to me. I deliberately step on her fingers lightly, making her start and look up at me dazedly.

“I was going to say,” I growled, “that it isn't a good morning unless I don't see you.”

She stuck her tongue out at me, easily pulling her fingers out from under my foot. She absorbs herself in the writing on the paper, and I count to ten to avoid kicking her out in a fury. “Hanji!” I say, and she looks startled. “Don't give me that look - seriously, what are you doing here?”

“Erwin said that you have some paperwork to give me,” she smiled, and I watched her eyes rest on the desk behind me... Where tonnes of paperwork were still placed, waiting for me to go through. “But it seems that those won't be ready for another week.”

I grumble, and move to kick some of the papers away from me. But then there was a sketch that caught my eyes. I picked up the piece of paper, the pencil on it making a face that I reluctantly knew very well. “You draw?”

Hanji rolls her eyes and sees the picture of Erwin that I was holding. “For a very long time now, yes. Thanks for noticing.”

“Tch.”

“But you don't want that one,” she says, taking it from my hands and giving me another one instead. “I have a feeling that is the one that you'd like the most.”

I look at the new drawing, knowing already who was drawn upon it. The drawing took up the entire piece of paper. It was of a dark night, with the stars winking in the sky, and a lake that reflected the light of the moon. Silhouettes of the trees were creeping up onto the midnight blue of the sky, and on either side of the lake were two people. One was a man, with raven-black hair and a white shirt that was swaying in the breeze. The other was a H/C haired girl, with a black dress that fitted her frame perfectly. The two looked upon each other, from either ends of the lake, and I stared hard at it for a while.

“You were there?” I said, glaring at the scientist who was still dirtying my floor.

“Well, yeah. It wasn't as though either of you could see me,” she responded, wiggling her eyebrows at me. “Want to know what I call it?”

“Let me guess,” I snarl, heading to my desk to lay the picture safely in a drawer. “’The scientific stalker’?”

Hanji rolled her eyes and stood up, throwing me a shirt that was lying on a chair nearby. She gathers most of her papers, and attempts to let herself out of my room by using her foot to push the handle down. After she falls down with a colossal thump and picks herself back up again, this time opening the door before picking up her stuff, she lets herself out and looks at me once more with amusement on each of her stupid features.

“I call it 'the princess who fell in love with the dragon.”

***

I stood with my arms crossed and my eyes closed, resigning myself to the fact that this meeting would be a potential candidate for the most pointless amount of time wasted in my entire life. Erwin droned on and on, and I personally doubted that no one except from Mike was listening. Hanji was scribbling random stuff down on her notes, although I had my suspicions that they were nothing to do with what Erwin was saying. Mike nodded occasionally, but his eyes were always on the blond man. 

Mostly, just to look like I was concentrating, I was looking around the room to create myself a checklist for what I needed to clean first. The curtains that were blocking the window were filthy with dust, and I shivered when I saw the spider webs in the corner of an unused bookshelf. Did Erwin never dust?

“Levi!” Erwin said again, the strain to not hit me evident in his tone.

“Yes, I agree,” I said blankly, not caring if I was right or wrong in my answer.

“You agree that the titans are right in trying to wipe out the human race?”

Erwin's eyes sharpened on me, and I could sense the concentration that he was paying to every little thing. “Well, if the human race is full of twits like you and shitty glasses, then maybe,” I droned, my words dripping in sarcasm. “There're also those mucky-mucks of the military police.”

“Mucky mucks?” Hanji repeated with a twitch of her eyebrow. I glare at her and adjusted myself to lean against the wall in a more comfortable position. Mike sighs, his nose flaring. I watch as Erwin's gaze flickers to Mike before resting on me with an intelligently bored expression, his eyebrows scrunching up in the middle.

“Can't you pay attention?” He says, leaning back in his chair.

“There's nothing you're saying that is worth my attention,” I answer, and everyone groans as they realize that my mood is a foul one.

“You've been really on edge,” Erwin notes. “Could it be because of the departure of the rest of the students?”

“Oh yes,” I state, with equal sarcasm as before. “I'm so upset that those dirty brats are gone and no longer gorging themselves on the free food. It pains my heart.”

Erwin exchanges knowing looks with Hanji, and I know what he's about to say before he even says it. I know exactly whose name he is about to say. “Don't,” I snap. “Don't bring her up.”

“By 'her', I assume you mean –“

“Shut up, shitty glasses.”

“But am I correct in assuming that you refer to –“

“I said shut up, Erwin. I don't care if you're the leader.”

Mike grins as Erwin and Hanji lean back in their chairs, looking satisfied with themselves. I clench my teeth and rock backwards on my heels, waiting for the next fool to try and annoy me. But Mike's amused look fades from his face and glances towards the door, which is right next to me. His eyes meet mine, and he nods with a small gesture. Erwin catches on immediately, subtly reaching over and grabbing a few important documents and sliding them out of sight. My hands slip down to grip the swords at my sides, and we all wait in silence.

We didn't wait long.

The door flies open, and a brown-haired boy stumbles through. I immediately look for threats, the silver gleam of a weapon, but he isn't armed at all. Sweat runs down his forehead, and I can sense the terror that he feels. My blood immediately starts to feel like acid moving slowly through my veins, but I keep my face fixed on the bored expression. The boy is shaking, but he still wheezes his message.

“The wall of the outer city - taken down. Titans in the city, titans everywhere –“

Hanji immediately stands, and Erwin nods at me. I step out of the room with Mike and Hanji on my heels. We sprint out to the courtyard, where most of the official soldiers are already packing their horses and organizing themselves into squads. I rush to find Eld and Gunther, as well as Oluo. Petra may have been sent home, but the rest of my squad was still here. They nod at me as Eld gives me the reins to my horse, and I mount the black horse easily. Adrenaline is already rushing through me, although it doesn't stop me from presenting the normal bored expression to everyone.

“We're all ready to go, heichou,” Oluo says, and I nod at him. I look back to the castle steps, where Erwin stands waiting to give his speech. I catch his eye from across the courtyard, and he gives me a subtle nod. I nod back, before turning my horse around and kicking its side with my ankles. My squad follows me, and as soon as we exit the castle we all kick our horses into a gallop.

“Our mission?” Gunther asks as I note how his horse easily keeping pace with my own.

“The Garrison's mission will be to protect the civilians,” I growl, my mind working through the facts as fast as it could. “So the Survey's mission will be to eradicate all of the titans that are there. But we're not going to do that.”

“Oh?” Eld says.

“We're going to protect the hole in the wall from more titans getting in,” I say, and I spot the nod of Gunther. “And we'll do it from the outside.”

“But that will be hard,” Gunther states. “There are very little trees, and therefore it won't be advantageous for our gear.”

“We'll manage,” I glare at him, daring him to doubt himself any further. He meets my eyes, and then nods again. Gunther had an impressive number of titan kills, as did Eld. Oluo was more useful in assists, and I was well known as Humanity's Strongest Soldier. We were an impressive team. “I don't want you holding back as you did in school,” I order. “They all know that you guys aren't the ordinary students. I need you to fight at your highest level.”

Oluo cackles and I feel his eagerness. “About time! I had to pretend to be a right weakling for so long!”

“There wasn't much pretending involved,” Eld muttered, and I hear Gunther's startled laugh. I relax; my team is alright. They'll be fine. As the countryside whips past us, I egg my horse to go faster. 

I'd felt wrong this morning. This was why.

“At least we won't be fighting alone!” Oluo says to me. When I don't respond, he continues. “The students of Survey Corps are already fighting the titans, aren't they? The garrison would be using them as more fighters, wouldn't they?”

I felt myself look at him in a daze. He grins, thinking that he's comforted me, but then my gaze turns steadily murderous and he makes his horse give me a wide berth. I curse myself for not having the realization faster. Y/N was fighting titans right now. She was in danger - and although she was an amazing fighter, with her own strength, she was still learning.

She could already be dea-

I shut down that thought before it had time to complete itself. Y/N wouldn't be dead, she wouldn't let herself die. I'd told myself that I'd never let her fight titans again. Not after that day. I'd told myself, promised myself that I'd do everything in my power to never let her near the monsters again. Unwillingly, a memory resurfaced in my mind.

***

I ran towards the hidden door of the library, my breathing coming in short gasps. I'd been running all morning; following the trail of blood that I knew wasn't just another ruse. Y/N was such a wicked, clever fox. She wouldn't have let herself bleed like this if she'd truly been hurt. I knew she was leaving me a trail, leading me to her with her own blood. I couldn't fail her.

I wrenched open the door hidden behind the bookcase and sprinted silently down past the guards. I kicked open the door to the lowest level, where there were no guards and therefore no one to stop me, and threw myself into the blackness. I didn't know how I was going to find her.

What good was a trail of blood if there was so much blood down here?

I stopped running, the echoing sound of my own footsteps confusing my hearing. If I couldn't see Y/N, then I'd hear her. As I came across an open cell, I felt sick - no cell was left open. Even if they were empty, they were still shut. An open cell meant that there was danger.

I felt the attack a moment before a fist hit the wall right where my head had been. I grabbed the arm and twisted, causing the boy to shriek with pain as I twisted it behind him, forcibly arching his back and pulling. “Mr Ackerman?”

“Who the hell are you?” I snarl, hating that this boy knows my name.

“My name is Franz, I'm a first year... Are you looking for Y/N?”

I dropped his arm as soon as I hear her name. “That was your open cell,” I realize. He blinks and holds up a hairpin as if in answer. I nod, understanding how he got out. “Go through that door and upstairs. Tell the guards that you're free, and give them my name. Order them to let you back in as a student.” I say, not wanting to waste any more time.

Franz looks stunned at his sudden release. “She's been taken,” he said, and I let my swords out of their sheaths. “They took her down the corridor on the left. Good luck.”

I take off, not caring about if the boy could find his way out. Blood thrums in my ears as I throw myself into the left corridor, my feet flying as my swords ready themselves. Franz's words echo in my head - she's been taken. Y/N had been taken.

I heard her footsteps before I saw her. They were going so fast that at first I thought they were a continuous noise, but then I knew. Thundering sounds were crashing around, and I could immediately tell that there were more than ten fully-grown titans on her tail. 

And she didn't have a weapon.

I was so close, so very close to her. And then she screamed.

It was the most awful sound that I'd ever heard. I could tell that she didn't want to die in this sorry excuse for a setting, where there was blood everywhere on the walls and flickering candles on the walls. I didn't want her to die. 

I needed her to live.

It was that thought that dominated my head as I skidded around a corner to see her legs give way, with blood coating her knees and dripping down her calves. Her head was bloody too, and as her E/C eyes closed I felt oddly peaceful. She was here, and I was here. She was going to live, and so was I.

But then I saw the titans following her. And I knew that whilst Y/N was going to live, these beasts weren't.

I'd never forgive their kind for making her scream like that.

***

“Heichou?”

“Move faster,” I ordered shortly, making my horse move faster even as I said it. 

“Any other orders?” Oluo asked, light sarcasm evident in his tone. 

“Stay alive,” I replied dryly. As the rest of my team talked behind me, I took a deep breath. Oluo laughed at a random joke that Gunther had told, not knowing that my order had not been for him. 

It was for her.

Always for her.


	20. Chapter 20 - The Titan

From where you were tied to the very back of the wagon, you couldn't twist yourself to see where you were going. It didn't matter, really. All that mattered was that you just knew where you were coming from, so that you could get back. For a brief instant, you wished that Isabel was by your side with her wide smile and impish gaze. You felt her constant absence like a hole in your chest, and you knew that you missed her. But she was safe, back in school, where the titans hadn't attacked. She wasn't caught up in all of this.

That alone made you feel better.

Since the titan leader was still in the wagon with you, watching you with barely concealed hunger, you spent most of your time in a constant dominance battle between your eyes. He blinked the most, to which you smirked cruelly as he snarled. Another titan ran up to the wagon's door, barely out of breath but very eager to relay his message.

“Humans are near!” He said, and you were disgusted at the drool that threatened to drip from his bloody mouth. “Boss, can we -?”

“No,” the leader interrupted, taking his eyes off you to glare at the other titan. “There shouldn't be any humans within this area, which means that they are most likely the army - which means that they can fight.”

From the way that he was talking, with derisiveness dripping from his tone, you knew that he was thinking about you and your own fighting skills. You had easily taken down two of his cronies in front of him, although that had called for a sacrifice. You sniffed snootily, trying to twist yourself around to lever your hands into a more comfortable position, but the leader immediately stood over you and grabbed you by the top of your head, his sharpened nails digging into your H/C hair. As his hands went past your eyes, you saw the scars that were decorating his flesh, and knew that this titan had been in many, many battles.

You didn't make a single sound of pain, although when he dragged your upwards by your hair, it really hurt. Your wrists, still bound at an awkward angle, let out a throb of pain that made you bite down to prevent a groan. But Scar - the name for the leader titan came to you easily - saw that easily with his hungry eyes, and laughed as he heaved you further away from the bar that you were bound to.

“Boss,” the other titan stammered, looking away into the distance for a brief second before glancing back at Scar with a pining look. “It turns out that we don't have to go after the humans. They're following us.”

Scar swore, and dropped you back down onto the ground harshly. You curled up immediately, focusing on your boot buckle. Thanks to him and his brutality, your ropes had come just a bit loose due to the direction in which he had pulled you. If you could just reach your boot buckle and snap off the bit of metal, it would only take a bit of time to make the metal bite into the rope so that you'd cut yourself loose. 

“How many are there?”

“Not very many - only four. Boss, are you sure that we can't just meet them –“

“Did you see the damage that this one girl did?” Scar hissed, grabbing you again. He pulled you harshly away from your position so that you gouged a cut into your wrist instead of the rope, and raised the dagger that he'd taken from your weapon's belt. You flinched away from your own weapon, but he merely raised it and sliced through the rope that bound you to the front of the wagon. But he did it in such a way that your wrists were still tied together, but you could move now if you wished. “I'm not going to let four of them hack into our numbers.”

He lifted you to your feet, and walked you to the back of the wagon so that you could see out of the slim window. Holding you there, Scar whistled through his pointed teeth in a high-pitched shriek to signal something to the rest of his small army, and the wagon shuddered to a halt. You nearly fell at the sudden stop, but Scar held you firmly with one hand gripping your hair and the other grasping your elbow. “Don't try anything funny,” he rasped into your ear, and you shuddered at his warm breath chasing its way down your exposed neck. 

You took the chance to look at where you were - not that there were many giveaways. There was just endless grass and sky, with trees bordering the horizon and a few clouds signalling that a storm was coming towards you. You narrowed your eyes, trying to find where the other people were, but apparently you were still facing the wrong direction. 

Scar growled a few instructions to the driver of the wagon, and neatly hopped out of it with you in tow. You fought with him the moment that your feet touched the ground, the moment that you had a possibility of escape, But he merely laughed and another titan took charge of your other side, and all three of you traipsed your way to the front of the party. It was awful, with every titan looking hungrily at you with open mouths and glistening eyes. For a second, you were thankful that Scar was by you and had decided to spare you; if he weren't at your side, you most definitely wouldn't survive, especially since you had no weapon.

The titans in front of you parted, making you a path to the front. If you squinted, you could indeed see four people on horses approaching, hesitantly. They obviously didn't know what to do - and who would, when surrounded by one hundred titans with only a party of four?

As you got as close as Scar would allow you to the other humans, Scar kicked the back of your right knee with brutal simplicity. The movement made you fall down to the ground, your knees hitting the rocks beneath your feet. But both titans still gripped your arms, so you merely fell to your knees whilst snarling, but they held firm. There was no way you could get out of this. As you watched the four people who could do nothing but run, their horses came to a steady halt. Then one of them approached slowly, carefully, as though the titans were nothing to worry about. 

“He's approaching us,” the titan on your left told Scar with a simper. “Who would be that stupid?”

Scar hissed at him to be quiet, evidently at a loss for words, and so all sound fell flat as the person neared to a hundred meters away and stopped. The dark horse was holding its head high, the sun making its ebony body shine, with the person atop of it looking over the entire titan party as though they were nothing but the dirt on his boots. As his eyes met the sight of you, bloodied and kneeling in the mud, he stopped.

His lips formed your name with a look of deadly fury, and you smiled at him despite the pain aching from your knees. A weight was lifted from your chest as you beheld the raven hair, the frown lines on his forehead, the irritated quirk of his eyebrows.

“Levi.”

***

“Stop right there,” Scar snarled, although Levi had already stopped. He dug his nails into your scalp, tugging your head back so that he could hear your words. “What did you call him?”

“Nothing,” you smiled, knowing that it would irritate him. There was no way you were going to repeat Levi's name - names had power. You weren't going to wield that power yet, not now. “I said nothing.”

Scar growled and threw your head forward, doing nothing but making your neck throb and burn. You saw Levi tense, his feet starting to run towards you, but Scar laughed cruelly. “I said to stop. You wouldn't want this girl to lose her head, would you?”

Levi chuckled dryly. “Why haven't you monsters eaten her already?”

Scar tensed, and he stepped closer to you in a protective kind of stance. You knew it wasn't out of kindness for you - it was so that the rest of the titans knew that you were his property and that you were not to be touched. “Don't you know? Humans that are alive keep better. The dead rot quickly.”

You could sense the lies, but you doubted that the other titans could. They'd just believe him blindly, thinking that the promise of meat was near. Levi snorted, throwing his head back to look at Scar with derisive arrogance. “What's one girl to you? There's an entire city of people at your backs.”

“We know,” Scar gloated, his eyes sparkling with deadly craziness as he verbally sparred with Levi, “and now the wall has fallen. We can get back any time that we want. Now,” he said briskly, raising his hand. “We're going to go. If you try and stop us, we'll take her life first. But one girl's hardly enough to feed an army of over one hundred - four more people would be greatly appreciated. Understand?”

He lifted you over his shoulder, meaning that you could only watch as Scar walked back to the wagon, leaving Levi standing motionless at the head of the party.

But then Levi started laughing, a cruel chuckle that sent chills down your spine. Scar stopped, throwing you down into the dirt, and turned to look at the soldier who stood at the head of the titans. “And what about your death is so funny, human?”

“You're scared,” Levi sniggered, watching as Scar straightened up. “You've seen what that one girl can do, and how many she can take down. And now you're scared of me, because I'm better than her.” You looked up at the leader titan for a moment, knowing the difficult situation that he was in - walk away, and be looked on as a coward, and probably be overthrown by his followers… Or to fight Levi now and risk his numbers in a skilled fight. 

He didn't have time to come to a decision as your dagger swiped through his neck, slicing through skin and muscle with brutal efficiency.

His mistake had been letting you go, throwing you down to the ground with no one seizing you. He had given you your own freedom on a silver platter, and from there it had been easy. Your dagger had still hung from his belt, and so you had stolen that as he'd been distracted with Levi's laughter. Then, it had been so deliciously easy to swing it towards his head in an angry punch, slicing right through his cloak and neck. 

The cloak may have masked his features, but it didn't mask the blood flying from his gaping wound, nor did it mask the terrified gurgle of his last breath. His body crumpled at your feet, his neck at a disturbing angle, and you looked up for a second. You saw Levi's head tilt, and the titan's gaze find their leader's body on the ground.

Then you ran. 

Not towards Levi, but towards the wagon. You swiped through the reins and bounds on the horse that had been drawing the wagon all of this way, dodging the stunned titans with blurring ease. Jumping onto the horse and kicking its sides with your ankles, you let the animal sprint away, the bodies of titans shrieking and leaping out of its way. You needed to get away, away - because you knew Levi. You knew his ideas and the way that he thought.

There was no way that Levi would actually leave his team behind to go and speak to the titans on his own. He had told them to do something, something that would at least distract the titans in order for them to get away. If you had stayed, you'd only be getting in the way of that plan.

So you let the horse run away, as far as you could. 

It didn't stop you looking back and seeing a cloud of misty green swarm the area where all of the titans had been. You smiled, understanding what Levi's team had been doing as Levi served as the distraction - setting up gas chambers all around in the nearby trees and bushes. Hopefully it was poison, although you would have liked to vent your anger a little on the entire army. 

You pulled the horse's mane, lifting her head so that she'd slow in her wild run. She obeyed; her entire body shook as you slipped off her back onto the grass. The animal merely let out a terrified whinny and took off again, running into the forest. You let her go without a fight - there wasn't any need for another horse. Wishing her well, you turned and grinned at the approaching black horse.

“Finished your paperwork so quickly?”

Levi climbed easily off of his horse and walked towards you with a glowering expression, his eyebrows pulled together. You shut your mouth, thinking that he was about to hit you for being stupid enough to get captured in the first place. But then his arms circled you and squeezed your frame, hugging you to his body as he pulled you closer. He hugged you as though he'd never let you go, and you buried your face into his shoulder as you gladly went into his embrace. You didn't realize that you were crying until his hands found their way to your hair, his fingers combing through the strands in a comforting and rhythmic gesture. 

For the first time in a long while, you felt like you were okay.

In his arms, you felt safe.

It didn't take long for you to calm down, with Levi's fingers working on your hair and his heartbeat pounding a steady rhythm. You pulled away from his warmth, knowing that your cheeks were probably on fire, and smiled weakly at Levi as he looked down at you with a questioning gaze. He probably hadn't been expecting you to cry, but his face didn't show anything to hint that he was belittling you. 

“How come you were there?” You asked, glad that your voice was calm and steady. If it cracked, you weren't sure you could handle the embarrassment. 

“We heard about the wall and were told to come as fast as we could,” Levi said, turning his sharp gaze towards the direction of the city. “We were just taking the fastest road, and saw the huge group of titans heading away from it... I couldn't just let them go.”

“Oh!” You suddenly said as you remembered something. You punched Levi on the shoulder - only a light hit, because you had a feeling that your body couldn't handle a heavy one. He glared at you, which made you relax even further at the familiar gesture.

“And what was that for, brat?”

“You told Scar that you were better than me!” You fumed, and Levi's eyes twinkled with amusement. Luckily, he didn't question the name that you'd given the titan leader, but merely lead you to where his horse was waiting. He climbed onto the saddle and offered you a hand, his glare telling you not to refuse unless you really wanted to die.

“Technically, I am better than you,” he said, smirking. “You've never beaten me in combat.”

“I will, one day,” you snarled, reluctantly taking his hand and climbing up behind Levi. “So don't go saying those things, or I'll make you eat your words.”

“As much as I want to agree,” Levi sarcastically answered, kicking the horse's sides so that the horse shot off, “I think that we need to call a truce for now. The city is in danger.”

“A truce,” you echoed as the horse leaped over a rock suddenly. Shrieking, you throw your arms around Levi's waist and cling onto him, hoping that you wouldn't be thrown off onto the ground again. Levi merely chuckled and urged the horse on, to meet with his team and to go rescue the people in danger. 

“A truce.”

***

The moment that you met with Levi's team, you wished you had just run off on your own. Oluo raised a suggestive eyebrow at your arms firmly around Levi's waist, and Eld and Gunther exchanged amused looks. “So,” Oluo said, a smirk twisting his mouth, “how are you both?”

“Shut up, Oluo,” Levi said, turning the horse around and beginning a canter in the city's direction. You poke out your tongue at Oluo, his horse easily keeping pace with Levi's. He merely grins again, and Eld decides to join the supposed fun.

“You were only away for two minutes, Heichou,” he said, laughter stiffening his tone, “what could possibly be done in two minutes, I wonder –“

“I could easily cut out your eyeballs and shove them down your throat so that you could see me gut you from the inside - all within two minutes,” Levi cut him off, and you rolled your eyes at his violence-laced voice. “Have you done with the smart-ass comments?”

“Depends,” Gunther smiled, his voice rising above from the back. “I reckon it was actually closer to three minutes, Heichou –“

“I swear I will cut all of you into tiny pieces,” Levi said, emotionless this time. You sniggered quietly, tightening your arms around his waist - only because of the speedy cantering of the horse, naturally. “This is serious.”

“We know,” Oluo said, sinking back into a seriousness that you'd never seen before. You gave yourself a chance to look his body over, to see his posture and gait. Something was bothering you, irking you from the depths of your mind.

“You - you're different! All of you are different,” you said suddenly, causing Oluo to look at you with raised eyebrows. “When I fought you guys before, you were nowhere near this balanced! Nor did you have those skills with your swords! You are different.”

“You forget, Y/N,” Levi muttered, saving Oluo from replying, “that we are all official soldiers. We had to put a damper on our actual skills, to save ourselves from being found out. That includes Petra.”

Oluo smirked and tipped his head back to laugh, his face twisted in humour. “You think you can beat me that easily, pipsqueak?”

You were about to come up with a smart comeback when Oluo's horse suddenly jolted over a ditch in the ground, causing his mouth to snap shut - right on his tongue. As he shrieked in pain, a dribble of blood coming from his mouth, you couldn't help but laugh with Eld and Gunther. “Serves you right, you big-headed swine!” Eld said, grinning at the brown-haired man with a twinkle in his eyes. 

“Would I be able to beat you?” You asked, and Gunther sobered up quickly. He looked your body over, evaluating its strength and capabilities. Levi's body tensed, waiting for Gunther's answer, but Levi kept his face forward on the road that you were taking. 

“I don't think so,” he said, without a trace of arrogance or smugness. Pure honesty - that's what his answer was. “Maybe after two years of training. You're already very good.” You nodded - you didn't agree with it, but you'd have plenty of time to settle the matter of strength in a fight later... Maybe when the city wasn't in jeopardy. 

“Focus,” Levi said quietly, but everyone immediately fell silent. You could almost sense their united focus, and you joined them as the walls came ever-closer. The giant hole was still there, which you could see with ease thanks to the smoke being long-gone. So much time had passed since it had been put there - five hours, maybe more. So much could have happened in that time; so many could have died. Suddenly, immense guilt pressed onto your gut. If you hadn't been captured, then you could have still fought and killed titans before they killed the civilians - although they should have already been evacuated into the inner walls.

“Y/N, you'll go and join your garrison group within the walls,” Levi said, snapping you out of your musing. “We have a job to do outside the walls. The scouts will be joining the battle soon; they weren't too far behind us.”

“What? You mean that I'm not fighting with you?” You asked, stupor clouding your mind. It seemed too silly, too ridiculous for you and Levi to split up now. 

“You're not going to fight with me,” Levi confirmed, and you opened your mouth to fight your case. “Don't argue with me,” he cut you off, “because even if I have to tie you up and escort you back to the garrison, I'll do it.”

“You'd have to catch me first,” you scathingly said, but you didn't have time to fight and you both knew it. You finally - finally - reached the walls, and even though there were a few titans dotted about, Oluo and Gunther took them out using 3DMG without a second thought. You understood then - the way that they moved through the air, like fluid, was something that you wouldn't be able to do for a while. “Go, Y/N.”

Levi pushed you from the saddle, but you were more than prepared for that and landed neatly on your feet. You looked up at him, marvelling at his cold and unfeeling face. 

“I'll see you later?” Although you hated the way that your words were a question, you felt they were necessary. There could be a possibility that you and Levi could never see each other again. Levi seemingly guessed what you were thinking, and smiled slightly.

“You still owe me twenty four hours of your service, don't you?”

He threw heavy boxes at you – 3DMG – and with that he rode off to the left, ready to guard the walls from the outside. You turned, facing the hole in the wall. Even from the distance that you were at, you could hear screaming - screams of animalistic victory, screams of human terror - and knew that you were needed. You hurriedly dragged the boxes into place and drew your blades, the sound of the metal slicing through the air grounding you, giving you a sense of the calm before a storm.

And you got ready to draw blood.

***

You were flying through the streets, scanning desperately for someone other than a titan. You had no clue where anyone was, but as you dived down suddenly and sliced through the body of yet another cloaked titan, you decided that it didn't matter. As long as you cut the number of the titans down to zero, who cared whether you did it alone or with a team?

You landed on a tiled roof, your boots cracking the brown tiles. Leaning back to look at the darkening sky, you gave yourself a chance to get your breath back. Everywhere hurt, thanks to the 3DMG's straps cutting into your skin and the boxes hitting your hips every time you turned. There were also the several bruises that Scar had given to you, which you couldn't see but could feel blooming and spreading.

“Mikasa, stop! You're going to run out of gas!”

You froze, but only for a second - that was Armin's voice. Forgetting about your injuries, you whipped around and immediately saw a group of cadets about one hundred meters away, sprinting along a roof. One figure was racing ahead using their 3DMG, but even you could tell that the figure was using up way too much gas than what was needed.

You ran towards them, your breathing coming in short gasps. Slowly, the figures came closer and closer until you jumped across the final roof and joined them. Jean caught on first, instantly raising his swords in a defensive position in case you were an attacker. After a few seconds, he looked you over and saw underneath the blood and bruises on your face. “Y/N?!”

Smiling weakly at Jean as he ran towards you, you felt your walls beginning to crumble again. Refusing to fall into tears, you merely threw yourself into Jean's arms and held him as tightly as he held you before Bertoldt and Reiner joined in, their arms clinging to you. “We saw them take you,” Krista was crying next to you. Ymir kept one arm around her, trying to comfort the sobbing girl, but it didn't stop Krista's tears. “We thought you were dead!”

“I thought we'd never see you again,” Jean said, and his voice broke – and for moment, you thought your own heart had as well. “I thought...” He let you go, turning abruptly and walking over to the edge of the roof, his face scrunched up. Reiner and Bertoldt looked a sickly pale, and Annie looked like she could faint. 

“I was going to follow you,” Annie said, not meeting your eyes, “but the officials held me back. They knocked me out for a while, but woke me up when they realized that they needed the numbers.”

“I can handle myself,” you reminded them, but you smiled widely so that they knew that you appreciated them. “What's wrong with Mikasa?”

“She knows about Eren... She doesn't care about anything anymore.” Armin answered, offering a watery grin. “She's using up too much gas killing titans because she doesn't care if she lives or dies.”

You nodded and started running after the black-haired girl, knowing that the rest of your friends would follow you. Mikasa never faltered in her movements as she ducked and weaved down the streets, killing all titans that she saw. You remembered what she had told you during your time with the scouts - that she owed Eren her life. You could only imagine what she was feeling right now - that she should have been there to protect Eren, to save him... But her guilt was from the fact that she hadn't been there. 

“Mikasa!” You yelled, speeding up to try and reach her, but the girl stayed a firm distance away. “Eren wouldn't want this! He died so that you could live!”

“Don't,” Armin said, catching up to you with difficulty. “Mikasa doesn't think like that.” You turned to look at him in exasperation, wondering how such a smart boy could give up. The boy immediately picked up on your condescending look and snarled right back at you. “Don't say that I don't know her - Eren and Mikasa are my best friends, and they have been for years. Don't think that I'm just giving up on her; I'm just not about to push her anymore.”

You averted your eyes, ashamed to think anything along those lines. Reiner lengthened his strides until he was matching yours, and so you two easily fell into the routine of discussing plans whilst on the move. “We're heading to the castle to refill our gas tanks before they run out. We're not allowed to go back until we see black smoke flares, and then we can retreat. Until then...”

“We fight,” you finished. “But Mikasa is our priority.”

“We won't be any help to her if our gas tanks run out,” Reiner said, his breaths even and steady. “I'd say that we refill first.”

“I won't take that risk of wasting too much time,” you told him firmly. “Not when her life is on the line. I don't play around with other people's lives. If it were my life in danger, sure - but not someone else's.” Reiner sighed but yielded, dropping back to run with Bertoldt and Annie in a surly silence. 

Mikasa suddenly dropped down into a dead-ended street, and you knew from the abrupt dip that she hadn't meant to - she was finally out of gas. Your eyes darted to the side, where they met with Armin's stricken blue eyes. You ran harder, but a huge cloaked titan rounded the corner well ahead of the time that you would. You were terrified for Mikasa - could she fight for herself? The girl merely looked at the titan and fell backwards into an abandoned cart, holding her broken sword up to the sky. You understood - she was giving up. She didn't care.

As the titan neared, however, another titan whipped around the corner. This one was cloaked too, but you could have sworn that the legs that were peeked out from the openings of the cloak were - in fact - brown boots - the exact kind that everyone with the garrison were wearing. 

You opened your mouth to say something, anything, but before you had a chance to make a sound, the second titan leaped forward and broke the other titan's neck by twisting his head the wrong way. You almost tripped, utter shock at a titan betraying another titan freezing you. Armin and Jean both actually tripped behind you, so you decided to freeze at the edge of the nearest roof to Mikasa and just watch.

The titan-but-not-titan stopped, looked around and ran off again, not paying any attention to Mikasa. You glanced to Reiner, who looked a sickly pale, and nodded. “Armin, Jean - help Mikasa and then join us. Everyone else, with me - we're going to follow him.”

So you ran, following the cloaked titan on his way through the streets. There was something not right about it - why would a titan leave a human uneaten and alive? Why would a titan kill more of its friends?

Not-titan carved a bloody path for itself through the streets, with its fellow titans not expecting his hit until it was too late. He was efficient and brutal, which you saw with rising glee. But even he, with his bloody effectiveness, could not deceive them forever. A wave of titans came around the corner, and began swarming him. Even as you watched, you knew there was nothing you could do to help the not-titan with the number of titans surrounding him.

At least, that's what you thought until his cloak was tugged off and his face was revealed. 

Eren.


	21. Chapter 21 - The Cloak

You smiled. 

Eren had got his hands on one of the titan's cloaks, and had disguised himself as a titan! Although you were sure that there was something more than that, you knew that your priority was saving the teal-eyed boy from the clutches of the titans yet again. He was being hit, punched and sliced at - he wouldn't last long.

You were already flying down to the streets with Mikasa hurtling ahead of you. Somehow, she'd just been there, flying towards her brother, the boxes at her sides utterly useless.

You sliced a path for her to come back, marking it well the other bodies of titans. Armin began a strangled scream, and Mikasa easily flew back on the dregs of gas that Jean had lent her from his own reserves, but you merely lead them to the nearby wall, using your gear to skip the stairs. The roof of houses weren't as safe as the immense height of the walls. You saw the smoke signals to retreat at the end of the city, spiralling upwards in a spout of black. Hardly caring, you turned to watch Mikasa holding Eren's unconscious body, with everyone politely averted their eyes to pretend not to see her tears. Armin fell to his knees and gripped Eren's hand, tears also in his eyes.

Reiner, Bertoldt and Annie stood a little separate, with Jean at your side. Ymir and Krista had already turned back to join another group, looking for help anywhere that they could find it. It was just you.

At least, that's what you thought until officials turned up. There were at least twenty of them, all armed with their swords and bearing down - on you.

You stepped in front of Eren, your own swords still in their sheaths. Jean was at your side in an instant, and you felt Mikasa shift into a shield of Eren within a few seconds. These officials weren't here for titans; they were here for Eren. “Step onto the mechanical lift to the left, all of you. This is an order.”

You glanced to the side, meeting Annie's uncaring expression, and then turned back to them in a frown. Annie was the first to move, leading Bertoldt and Reiner onto the wooden lift that lead back down onto the safe side of the wall. Jean went next, tugging your sleeve to motion for you to follow him, but you only moved once Mikasa and Armin had lifted Eren into the lift as well. You kept your face carefully neutral, your body always in the ready position. These officials weren't going to do anything.

The lift lowered itself to the ground, the wobbling motion making you work to keep your balance. Bertoldt reached out to grab your elbow, to which you gratefully smiled at him before putting on your blank mask. As the lift reached the bottom, you all jolted off to find all of the armed soldiers from before already surrounding you all with their swords drawn and their faces pale.

The one who you had deemed as the leader looked terrified as he looked at the boy in Mikasa's arms. “Cadets,” he said, his voice quivering a little, “step away from it.”

Annie gave you an almost pleading look as she stepped away and was immediately grabbed by two soldiers. She shrugged them off - as did Reiner, who quickly followed behind her. “Pride, there's nothing that you can do,” she said, motioning for you to follow. “Come on.”

“If you think I'm leaving, you're crazy,” you spat, standing firm. As if she were expecting your answer, she just nodded and walked off, gesturing the others to follow her. Jean hesitated, as if he were thinking about staying, but you lightly pushed him off the lift to follow the others. “Get out of here and check up on Marco. Good luck.”

Jean wasn’t going to leave you – until you’d said that name. After you watched your friends walk away, you turned to the other two that you knew wouldn't move an inch, no matter how much you tried to persuade them. Mikasa had laid Eren down in the dust, and had drawn her own swords. Armin was just behind her, fear dancing in his eyes. “This is your final warning,” the soldier in charge shouted. “That thing was identified as a titan and is therefore a threat. It must be taken out.”

The way that the soldiers had addressed Eren as an ‘it’ and a ‘thing’ told you enough of what they wanted to do to him. To protect their own consciences, they were already making Eren an object instead of a person. You fought the urge to roll your eyes. So he had stolen a cloak in order to get close to the titans, and now the officials thought he was a spy? Were they this ridiculous? You heard a gasp behind you, and knew that Eren had awoken from his very short dream. “Mikasa?”

“Eren...”

“Why are they looking at me like that?” Eren whispered from behind you, and you moved slightly closer, not taking your eyes off of the guards for a single second. “What did I do wrong?”

The soldier sighed, and you saw the contempt from underneath the fear. Fear was normally the driving force of most rash decisions – but this man was fuelled by fury as well. Fury was dangerous – unpredictable. “Ready the cannons. We can't allow it to survive.”

“What?” The question was out of your mouth before you could think about it. They were going to kill you as well - a necessary sacrifice to kill Eren. “I did not go through what I have in order to be killed by the likes of you,” you say, and for the first time the leader really looked at you. His face was too scared, too worried, and so you instantly knew that he would never listen to you - not when fear was ruling his mind.

As the leader raised his hand, you tense. You grab Armin's arm, knowing that Mikasa would grab Eren, and prepared for something akin to an emergency evacuation. But then an old and wrinkled hand clamped down on the leader's raised arm, and you breathed a sigh of relief. For once, you were rather glad that Dot Pixis had decided to grace you all with his drunken presence. 

“Just what do you think you're doing with my students?” He slurred, grinning happily. The leader shot you a warning glare, still signalling to his men to remain at attention. Pixis merrily ignored that little statement and continued in his ramblings. “Those two girls are among the best in my school, and the kid is a genius. So, sir, what do you think you are doing?”

“Nothing,” spat the leader, stepping back and giving you a horrified glare. “Nothing at all.”

***

“You're telling me that nothing happened?” Marco said, half-shouting. You flinched away at the sound, holding up your hands. Jean was leaning against the wall, looking out towards the walls in a sullen silence as all of your friends met up on the other side - the safe side - of the wall. Sasha sat on top of a pile of boxes in the quieter corner of the street, with Connie chatting to Ymir and Christa.

“Well, not much that's worth telling.” You attempted feebly, leaning your head against the wall behind you. For some reason, a headache was building behind your eyes, a fierce pain making itself known.

“So – if absolutely nothing happened - where is Eren?”

“With Pixis,” you repeated, for what felt like the tenth time. Pixis had taken Eren away for a talk, and your nerves felt constantly on edge. Although you supposed that Mikasa and Armin felt worse; Mikasa had been prowling along the edge of the wall for a while now, snarling if anyone except Armin approached her. The blond boy seemed terrified and yet calm at the same time, staring into space with seemingly blank eyes. You'd spent enough time with Erwin, however, to know that the blankness was a cleverly put together mask.

“Why is he with Pixis?”

“I don't know!” You cried, making everyone look at you with wary expressions. Marco immediately apologized, looking ashamed, but you smiled weakly to make him feel better. “I'm sorry, Marco - I've just been on edge.”

“You were taken by the titans,” Jean piped up, giving you an almost dirty look. “I think it's fair for you to be on edge.”

“Why didn't they eat you?” Sasha asked. You briefly worried about her, with her voice quiet to the point of being nothing but a whisper. “I don't understand.”

“They said that the dead rot quicker,” you answered blankly, and Jean sucked in a breath. 

“Let's just all promise to be more careful when we head back out there,” he said, waggling his finger and giving the great impression that he was lecturing you. Marco giggled, but fell silent once the brown-haired boy turned the finger on him. “Don't you go laughing, sir; I've heard that you depended on some third years to save your sorry skin.”

Marco grinned, shrugging his shoulders. “We're all alive, aren't we?”

“Of course we are!” Sasha laughed, throwing an arm around him and making him jump. “We are the first years of the Survey Corps! We have trained alongside the Y/N L/N! We are immortal!”

You opened your mouth to object, but Jean punched you in the arm. “Don't ruin the moment,” he hissed, watching Marco laugh. You grudgingly sighed, leaned back and let your eyes close. 

“I wouldn't dare, horseface.”

“Once this entire ordeal is over, I'll make you regret calling me that.”

“I look forward to it.”

***

You woke up all too soon. Reiner had picked you up, so you jolted awake as his wide steps shook you. At first, you gasped and clung onto his shirt tightly, your body rigid with fear. But Reiner merely held you tighter and looked you right in the eyes.

“Shhhh,” he said, panic at your abrupt waking fading from his eyes. “It's alright. You've been out cold.”

“Where are we going?” You ask, before jumping out of his arms to the ground. Your knees were totally unprepared to take your weight, however, and you toppled over into Annie. The cold girl looked ready to receive you though, holding out her arms to cushion you with a knowing glare to top it all off. 

“We're heading closer to the wall. Apparently our dear headmaster has something to say to us.”

“What about Mikasa? Eren?”

“Eren's still with Pixis, and Mikasa and Armin both got called up to them a few minutes ago. Everyone's alright, Pride. Stop worrying about them and start thinking about yourself.”

“But if I don't think about them, who will?” You smile, your gaze turning to where Connie and Sasha were having a race with Jean as the unwilling judge. Marco, Ymir and Christa were all laughing at a joke that Bertoldt had just told, and for a moment you thought it would be so easy for this moment to last forever. 

“You don't get it, do you?” You had barely registered the words before Annie had violently thrown you into a side alley, holding you against the wall with her clenched fist. Startled into silence, you watched as her eyes finally betrayed something that Annie felt - anger. Anger rippled through the ice blue rings, and her lips were pulled back from her bared teeth. “You just don't get it.”

“G-get what?” You stammered, but your answer only seemed to infuriate her more. She shook you, both hands caging your body to the wall - but the only thing that she gained you was the knowledge that the Headmaster was not, in fact, waiting for you. Reiner and Annie had just used the excuse to get you away. The tall blond boy just watched you with hawk's eyes, his face carefully blank. He did nothing as Annie released a shuddering breath.

“Who was the one who got kidnapped by the titans, Y/N?” You stopped, and looked at her hard. 

“Me.”

“That's right. It wasn't me, or Reiner, or Marco. It was you. So doesn't that give you any hints at all as to where you should be placing your worries? Do you not even remember why they didn’t eat you?”

You were about to shove back, to hit some sense into her, but her fingers went to your collar. Before you could do anything, she pulled your shirt away from your S/C skin and revealed the ugly mark. You tried to shove her away, but there was no point; she'd already seen it. She didn't seem surprised, or even shocked... But was there really any point in trying to read the masked girl's emotions?

You'd thought that you had an advantage in knowing that Annie had her tattoo, but how was it an advantage if you didn't know how to use it?

“Don't show it to anyone except titans,” Annie said softly. “It’ll keep you safe – as much as possible, anyway.” Before you could ask the questions that were rising up through you, she'd disappeared back into the crowd of moving students. You stayed up against the wall for a few moments, your own shaking fingers climbing your shirt to fasten the buttons at the top. Your white shirt did well to hide the tattoo from most people... You were thankful that neither Erwin nor Pixis knew about it. Or Levi.

All too easily, you slipped back into the moving crowd to line up to hear Pixis's speech about what was going on. Even as he started speaking, you knew that he was a very smart man - he saw Eren as a weapon, and knew exactly how to wield the correct weapons. He was going to use him. The Garrison would set up a huge amount of rocks on top of the wall, right where the hole was. Then, someone was needed to activate the downfall, but they'd have to be on the ground to do it - that was where Eren came in.

The speech ended soon. You were all dismissed for the night, but you weren't done. You climbed the steps to where Pixis had stood with Eren and the others just behind him, and was rewarded with the fact that he was still there – but without the trio. “Pixis,” you started, and he turned as though he was expecting you. He'd obviously sent Eren, Mikasa and Armin away at the end of his speech, because they were not here now. “Why Eren?”

“Why? It’s because the boy has done it before, sneaking into the titan’s ranks. So, logically speaking, he knows how to do it again.”

“That reason sucks!” You said, and you would have slapped the man if you hadn't owed him for taking you into the school in the first place. “Put any guy into a cloak, and he'll learn fast enough. Or,” you said, your tone changing enough to catch Pixis's attention immediately, “you could send someone who has more than enough knowledge on how titans act and how to blend in.”

His eyes sparkled. “Why would I send you? If you die, your excellence will be wasted.”

“You send me because I am better than him,” you hiss, taking a step closer. Pixis, to his credit, didn't flinch away but kept a wary eye on you. “You send me because Eren is worth more than me to more people.”

“You mean his sister.”

“It's not just that! I am better, and that is a fact!” Even as you said it, you knew that you were doing this just to spare Eren. Somehow, the teal-eyed boy had wormed his way into your friendship group. You'd die before he could. 

“Do you know why Eren was accepted into the titan community?” Pixis asked, straightening up enough to signal that his patience had finally ran out. “And don't say it was because he was cloaked - that wasn't it.”

“It wasn't the cloak -?” You trailed off. If the reason for Eren's easy disguise wasn't because of the cloak, then you really didn't know.

“It was because the boy had a strange mark on his body,” Pixis said, watching you closely. Even as your legs turned to jelly with fear, you kept a slightly confused look on your face. “He had a tattoo on his collarbone, which one of the titans saw even before the boy had a cloak. They gave him a cloak after they saw it, even! Apparently, it is a mark that every titan from one specific group possesses. We have reason to believe that it was the first family - not the royal family, but the family that protects the royals fiercely.”

“It's a –“

“After all of this time,” Pixis said, “we thought that the cloaks were the only identifiable trait of a titan. But no - each specific family, or group, tattoos each of their members with their particular brand. It isn't visible straight away, however - when I first accepted Eren Yeager into my school, I had a full physical examination performed on each of the children... And the tattoo was not there. I'm not sure what triggers it to become visible, but it must be something.”

You took one gasp.

One breath.

And then everything went black.

***

You woke up to Annie hovering over your head with a glaring expression, her eyebrows creased in the centre and her eyes as hard as ice as she looked directly into your eyes. She saw that you were awake immediately, sighing and letting her cool breath dance across your exposed neck, raising your skin into a chilled reaction. You shiver, lifting your hand into the air and carefully moving each finger to check that you were definitely awake.

“Where am I?”

“Still on the wall where you fainted,” Annie sourly said, now deliberately looking everywhere apart from where you were. You raised yourself into a sitting position, your head finally kicking into gear with a dull throb echoing at the back of it. Massaging your temples, you frowned. Everything was blurry - you remembered titans, and you could easily remember the constant feeling of fear that had dances within your veins. But the blackness that had taken you seemed all that your mind was thinking about. Looking around, you saw that you were indeed still on the wall, next to a tall tower of boxes with Annie pacing around nearer the cannons. Taking a breath, you started to speak softly to Annie. 

“I fainted?”

“That's what I said.” Apparently Annie did not seem at all eager to talk with you, her short answer communicating the state of her temper as easily as her glare. You didn't care much - and so you blundered on with your long list of questions.

“But where's Pixis?”

Annie kicked a bucket that was by her foot, letting the wooden pail dance along the top of the wall. You flinched away at the sudden sound and saw Annie's eyes soften for a moment before giving you a better answer. “He's nowhere that we need him to be. He's ready at the gates.”

“The gates?”

Annie turned and looked at you exasperatedly, her eyes widening dramatically so that she looked absolutely furious at you. “How many stupid questions are you going to ask?”

“As many as necessary,” you smiled, heaving yourself to your feet. You stumble a little, your feet unsteady after a few hours unconscious. “So how long have –“

Annie cut you off immediately, her nerves obviously on edge. “No more questions, Pride. Please.”

That shut you up. Annie never said please. Was there something wrong? What could possibly get her so nervous? About to open your mouth to voice your concerns, Annie gave you a withering glance before looking out towards the city. You joined her in silence, looking out over the rooftops that seemed a vibrant amber colour thanks to the sun that was setting softly at the horizon. Sluggishly, you remembered all that happened and knew that you were indeed very lucky to be able to see another sunset. “Alright, Annie,” you said, but this time she knew something was different. Your voice was empty, utterly void of feeling. She didn't look at you, which made it all too easy to carefully and slowly slip your hand behind your back to rest the palm of your hand against the hilt of your dagger. “Why is there a tattoo on your collarbone?”

Annie let go of a breath. She’d known that this confrontation was going to happen – probably since the day that you’d first seen her tattoo. “Why is there a tattoo on your collarbone?”

“Don't answer a question with the same question,” you hissed, taking a step towards her. She immediately had the grace to look wary, but she didn't adjust her stance in any way. “Why do you have a tattoo? I was told that only titans have it on their skin!”

“Are you a titan?” Annie asked, her voice radiating calm. You didn't even bother to answer her. She knew what answer you’d give. “Then why is it natural for you to think that I am?”

“I'm just... I don't know.” You gave up, tired of fighting. Was it your imagination, or did Annie breathe a sigh of relief? You weren't sure, but you let it go; your headache was quickly absorbing every single thought that you came up with. 

“You're scared,” Annie said, looking out onto the titan infested city. You looked out too, and froze as you saw shadows dancing on top of the rooftops, running through the streets that the titans had claimed. You looked up at the sky again, knowing that the time was distorted for you - the mission had already begun. Pixis had already started the mission to retake the city, using Eren as a titan – without you. Of course, you were just a single student; how had you become so confident that the leaders would somehow change plans to suit you?

“I'm terrified,” you corrected, your hands immediately going to the gear that you'd strapped across your waist. “But at least I don't let it control me.”

Annie hardly had time to cry out a warning before you stepped off the wall, letting gravity pull you towards the cobblestone streets. If Pixis had wanted Eren to act as the titan, then there was nothing that you could do except be close to him and protect him. Although you knew that Mikasa was more than a match for any titan, you could hardly just stand on the wall with Annie and have that meaningless question-answer-question-notanswer… Thing. 

You found Mikasa and Armin quickly, considering the size of the city. She nodded at you as you landed next to her, your feet daintily dancing across the tiles. “Y/N?” Armin squeaked, his eyes not leaving the street below. “I thought you were meant to be on wall duty with Annie?”

“I got bored,” you shrugged, your confident smile informing Armin that if he didn't like it, he was more than welcome to fight you for it. The blond boy clearly didn't have enough room to think, however, as his eyes shone with over hundreds of thoughts per second. You left him to it, watching the street. A cloaked figure slipped out of a house opposite, and Mikasa must have seen your shoulders tense the tiniest amount as she murmured to you.

“That's Eren. Don't kill him.”

“He's going to join in with the crowd of titans at the end of this street?” You asked, and Mikasa nodded once. Her eyes were never on anything but her brother - as if she feared that he'd disappear if she took her eyes off him for even a single moment. You looked down the street, where there were a large crowd of moving titans as they all slouched after the leader. “Remind me again of the overall plan?”

“Eren distracts and leads the titans away nearer to the wall,” Mikasa said, her voice soft and quiet. “We go towards the boulder and take out just enough of its base that it can fall and block off the hole in the wall. Eren comes back with just enough titans behind him so that when he actually shoots the boulder and it falls, the titans think that another titan did it. That’ll cause infighting.” You hummed in response – it was a sound plan. 

Wordlessly, both Armin and Mikasa rose from their crouches. It seemed they had spent so much time together that they thought as one when it came to Eren. You followed them as they raced silently after Eren, hoping that you'd be safe on the roof. The cloaked boy easily mixed with the crowd, to the point that when you looked back you couldn't tell which one was Eren. You let go of a shaky breath, but sucked it back in as Armin tripped on a loose tile on the roof and fell. You saw it as clearly as it would have been in slow motion - his terrified face, his body twisting as it fell down the slope of the roof. Mikasa turned, taking her eyes off of Eren to look at her blond friend as he only just managed to grab the edge of the roof, swinging his entire body off of the roof. He only just held himself up.

You leaped forward, knowing that Armin was probably terrified as his legs were kicking into nothing, trying to find a foothold in the wall. The boy didn't speak or scream - if only because his terror went past noise - even as his left arm lost its hold and his entire weight was depending on his right arm. You grabbed his shoulder, not caring if you were too rough or too harsh, and tugged with all of your strength. Due to your desperation perhaps allowing you to become just a tad stronger, he quickly rose himself back onto the roof and laid there on his back, breathing in terrifying pants.

You didn't get a chance to savour the fact that Armin was still alive thanks to you. You felt a dark presence behind you and stood up, drawing your swords even before you had a chance to look behind you. Mikasa was two meters away from you, her back to yours. Her swords were already in her hands, and she was baring her teeth at the group of titans that had obviously seen Armin fall and had come up to investigate.

“Stay away,” Mikasa warned, and you didn't have to see her face to know that it was most likely beautifully blank, her perfect assassin's mask. Her voice was cool and collected to the point that even you felt a flicker of jealousy.

The titans didn't appreciate her as much as you had, twisted laughter arising from the depths of their cloaks. The leader grabbed a random titan from the crowd and threw the cloaked being forward. The titan stumbled, stopping just before Mikasa's swords. “You, young one, can have the pleasure of finishing them off. We'll even let you have a piece of meat.”

You stood just behind Mikasa, watching the group. The leader didn't seem very interested, however, as he stepped back to watch the show. Titans didn't care about their followers in the way that humans did - the titan that the leader had thrown forward could die and none of them would care. You fixed the single titan left with your stare as it drew itself up, and half-heartedly lifted its swords. 

The moment that you lay your eyes on your swords, you knew that you were in a sticky situation. Those were military swords, which Eren hadn't bothered to abandon within the building. The titan was Eren, and he now had to try and kill you. You didn't doubt that Mikasa knew who it was - she had probably known since he had first been thrown forward.

You didn't have time to think before Eren threw away his swords and ran at Mikasa with his fists raised. She had time to brace herself, crossing her arms in order to take the blow. Normally, you would have dived in with your swords to slice at his ankles, but this was Eren. If you had to fight the group of - you took a second to mentally count the titans waiting on the other side of the roof - twenty three titans; you'd be at a severe disadvantage. Especially with the burden of Armin, who was still so shocked that he hadn't moved from his position. 

Mikasa handled the blow well, expertly balancing her weight on her feet so that she didn't budge. You knew that if she didn't fight back, the titans would know something was wrong and then Eren's cover would be blown, forsaking the entire mission. So you dived in, raising your swords and swiping across Eren's body. At the last second, you drew them into yourself, meaning that they could not reach Eren. Thankfully, the boy had good developed good reflexes during his time at Survey Corps, and he had already been rolling away. 

You laughed, shoving Mikasa back a little so that she wouldn't have to go up against her brother. “If you want to fight, fight me!” You said, and Eren didn't hesitate to run at you because he simply knew that you were better than him, and that you were fully able to dodge every kick or punch that he threw at you. Of course he was going to have reservations around fighting Mikasa – every sibling would. But with you, there was no restraint.

“Mikasa! Y/N!”

Jean, Bertoldt, Reiner and Annie all landed on the roof in various positions next to you. You watched as they all stood themselves up into defensive positions, drawing their swords and glaring at the group of titans. The leader hesitated, before throwing his arms up and turned around, calling to his followers to come back. You watched as Eren dipped his head the tiniest bit at you, before turning and following his group. Jean grabbed your shoulder, but you knew that Jean was just doing it to ground you a little rather than anything else. 

“Annie and Bertoldt will be with me, Pride,” Reiner told you, but before you could ask anything else the three took off with their gear, flying smoothly through the air. You were left with Jean, Mikasa and Armin. The latter was just standing up on shaking legs, gripping his knees with whitening knuckles. You didn't bother to talk to him; there was nothing for the strong to say to the weak.

“Go to the wall now, I suppose?” You said, and Mikasa didn't have to answer aloud for all four of you to know what she would say. You sighed and took off again, making sure that Armin was in front of you so that you could keep an eye on his footwork. 

As soon as you were in sight of the wall, Jean hung back and gave you an exaggerated salute, before leaping into the air and zipping away – probably to cut towards Eren and check that he was doing a good job in distracting and leading the titans away.

Mikasa and you flew towards the wall, looking up at where the boulder was perched on top of the wall. You gave each other subtle nods before using your gears to climb up to their base, and Armin joined you with the explosives that had been entrusted to him – you presumed – at the start of the entire mission. You and Mikasa then gladly went towards the ground, allowing Armin to work his magic and somehow connect a long piece of rope to the fuse.

Later, you would be able to point out the exact moment that Mikasa saw her brother running towards her, his cloak flying out behind him. The girl gasped, just a fraction of breath escaping her lips, but it was there as the boy approached you. “Y/N! Mikasa! I am so sorry, I had to hit you or do something...”

“Are we hurt?” You asked as the teal-eyed boy reached you, shaking his head. “Then everything's fine. You got here, and I'm impressed you pulled it off!”

“I don’t know if I have,” he muttered glancing around behind him. “I left them all pretty quickly, trying to make a few of them look at me so that they’d follow… But I think they might have realized I’m not a titan and told all of them about it.”

Not for the first time, a wave of fear cascaded through your body. You glanced to your left, where Armin just landed with a hand holding the rope. “I didn’t hear anything you just said,” the boy said breathlessly, but reached into his pocket and drew out a box of matches. “But I think we’re out of time – an army of titans are inbound.” Armin immediately struck a match and lit the rope, which flared magnificently – Armin must have doused it with some sort of chemical. “The plan’s off – there’s no use keeping up that infighting idea. We’re going to have to fight our way out of this as humans.”

“Fight our way out?” Eren echoed, and you noted how Mikasa immediately turned her intense eyes onto him. 

“Yes,” Armin said, his eyes looking up towards the sky. “But first, we’ve got to move otherwise this boulder will crush us indefinitely.”


	22. Chapter 22 - The Passion

Naturally, you all did the natural thing.

You ran for your lives.

The boulder fell with such impact that it shook the ground that you were running on, pulling your bodies down to the dust. You still clawed your way to your feet, gripping Armin's arm so that he stood as well. You followed the sound of Mikasa's footsteps, the dust masking everything. As the boulder had fallen, it had caused a rush of air infused with dust, meaning that you could not see anything further than two feet in front of you. 

Armin clung onto your hand, and together you both staggered to where Eren and Mikasa were standing. They had their backs pressed to the boulder, looking out behind you as you and Armin fell beside them. “Nice job,” Armin panted, and you heard Eren's laughter cut through the dust.

The dust fell, gradually, revealing hundreds of black figures. At first, you thought that they were the buildings that were darkening into sight. Light was seriously failing now; all you could see with the pale orange around the horizon and the top of the wall. But the black figures were surprisingly easy to see.

Titans were everywhere. They must have run fast to get here in the numbers that they were, staring at the four people with their backs pressed to the boulder. It turned out that titans could communicate well and fast – seeing as they’d seen through Eren’s fake identity and followed him here. You were indeed going to have to abandon the plan and fight your own way out. With that almost suicidal thought in your mind, your hands went straight to your gears in order to quickly check the gas tanks.

“My gas is out,” you swore, and you heard Armin gulp next to you. “I've been using it all day and haven't had a chance to refill.”

“I don't have my gears on me,” Eren said; the titans weren't yet close enough for them to hear what you were saying. “I had them on at the start, when I had to stab one of you or whatever – but after that, I ditched them because they were drawing too much attention.”

“My gas is low; there isn't enough power to get one person out of here, let alone two.” You were panicking enough to note how Armin’s voice was surprisingly confident when it came to calculations and predictions.

“Then we fight.” Mikasa said simply, raising her swords another time.

“We fight,” Eren agreed.

“We'll die,” Armin said, sadness tinging his tone.

“Who cares?” Eren laughed. “We'll die fighting like all good soldiers.”

You snorted, and all three people looked at you with tears glittering in their eyes as they faced the certainty of their deaths. “If you think that I am letting myself die in a rutting place like this, you're severely wrong. You've seen me take down forty titans by myself before,” you said, forgetting to mention that those forty three had been non-fighting titans without decent weapons – they’d obviously been planning to just collect data about the school, and perhaps get the weapons from inside. “So, can any of you beat that number?”

Eren was the first to rise to the challenge. “I'll make it fifty before they know what's hit them.”

Mikasa smiled slightly. “I'll kill one hundred.”

“Challenge accepted,” you replied. “Armin, stay here. You’ve got to use the boulder as a shield for your back from any titans too fast for the three of us.” Even as you said it, you knew that you were just trying to avoid the smart boy getting in your way - from the little that you had seen of his abilities, killing and agility were not among the most polished of them. Armin knew the true intention immediately, which you could tell from the twitch in his eyebrows and his stiffened posture. But he merely nodded, his eyes flashing with understanding. You turned, seeing Mikasa adjusting her grip on her swords and showing Eren how to hold it firmly and yet supply, allowing more movement to his wrists. Stepping up to them, you slide sneakily to an awkward angle, just to the left of Eren. Your eyes went to his shirt's collar, seeing the contrast between the tanned skin and the faded white of his shirt. Was it your eyes, or was there a ghost of something black whispering just underneath his collar?

You knew what it was; from what Pixis had said, you knew that Eren had a tattoo too. But he hadn't had it before you had rescued him, and so he must have gotten around the same time as you had. Did he worry about it? Was he confused?

One glance at his determined eyes told you no. He wasn't thinking about his future anymore - he was thinking about everyone else's future. “So I have to beat forty? No problem.”

“I'll take down three for every one that you take down,” you tease, and then you and Mikasa were off. You couldn't explain it, how you two were moving together. Twin whirlwinds, that's what the two of you were. She was fighting to protect Eren, and you were fighting to protect everyone. Your shared passions clashed magnificently, making you both furious with rage at the titans. 

You sprinted just a bit faster than Mikasa, heading to the very centre of the horde of titans. She covered your back and sides as you charged straight into the deadly position, your swords already swiping and blood already flying. Knowing nothing except the heat of your blood and the thirst of your swords, you continued slashing randomly. Thinking about their cramped positions, even if you didn't aim then you were sure to at least hit something. You heard the whistling of blades behind you and knew that Mikasa was doing her part well, cutting the titans down as they stood. 

Somewhere in the distance, you heard angry yelling and knew that Eren was also alive and fighting. Suddenly, your foot slipped on the blood coating the cobblestones and you yanked your thoughts back to where you were, what position you were in and what you were killing. There were just so many cloaked things in front of you; for a sick second, you panicked - thinking that you were blacking out with exhaustion. But the feeling of the swords underneath your fingertips and the burning of your lungs told a different story; there were just so many titans that you couldn't see anything other than the black of their cloaks. 

That was when you started edging back towards the boulder. 

Mikasa already knew what you were thinking, moving in time with you so that both of you were protected from all sides. The sheer number of titans was suffocating, you needed air, you needed to stop and take a breath...

“That is number fifteen!”

Eren's yell somehow managed to carry itself to your ears, and you smiled despite your swords taking down yet another titan. Sucking in a gulp of air, you yelled your own number. “Twenty one!”

“Twenty nine,” Mikasa murmured, and you felt yourself freeze in shock before fighting with more energy, with more movement. You'd killed another four titans before they even knew what had happened, their bodies falling only to be trampled by the other titans clawing towards you. You bumped into something solid but didn't tense - you knew that it was Mikasa's back, and that you had reached the boulder. 

Armin was fighting just a few meters away, but you could tell that he was reaching his limit. You met Mikasa's eyes for a mere moment before you both split up, you heading towards Armin and her leaping to meet Eren. You pushed the titans back, and after another few minutes of endless slaughter you were almost glad when the titan leader roared for his minions to retreat. 

The titans were more than happy to oblige. They flew back, stumbling on the bodies of their comrades as they went back to the shelter of the houses, more than one hundred meters away. There, they merely collected themselves and waited in stony silence. There were still too many – the numbers that you’d hacked into had clearly been the new recruits, the younger and lesser trained soldiers. It was only going to get harder.

That didn’t sit well – especially when your knees were shaking due to the fatigue, and your arms were aching from constantly wielding the swords. Said swords were dripping too much blood, the crimson liquid coating the handles and making your hands constantly slip on them. Spitting on the floor, you threw your swords behind you, and took off your gear. It was useless now anyway, just dead weight. As it clanged to the floor, you sighed as your entire body suddenly felt so much lighter. 

“Y/N,” Armin panted, leaning against the boulder, “you're going to need that to get out of here.”

You looked again at the sheer number of titans that you were facing. “I don't think that I am going to get out of here, Armin.”

“Don't say that!” Eren said, sweat dripping down his forehead. Blood - some of which was his own - trickled down from everywhere. Mikasa was also drenched in blood, holding herself up tall, but you could tell that she was also fatigued from the way that her swords were limply hanging from her hands. “We're doing so well!”

“And look at what that has cost us,” Mikasa said, her voice impossibly soft. “Eren, take every single bit of gas and get out of here.”

“Mikasa!” Eren said, and then his legs gave out and he crumbled to the dust. “Don't,” he said as Mikasa took a step towards him. “I didn't want to die.”

“Me neither,” you said, and you looked out to where the titans were readying themselves for another attack - a final attack, you knew. “I've tried so hard,” you whispered, and your voice cracked. You let a single tear course down your face, probably leaving a single clean streak down your cheek amidst the dust and blood. You weren’t foolish enough to hope that the army would help you – they’d see the army of titans and know there was no hope. Pixis would possibly grieve, shake his head. Erwin, if he were here, would probably not even bother to watch and begin the plan to exterminate them all as they were distracted with you.

“Take down as many as you can before they take us down,” Armin said, his voice shaking. Your words before had created the hope that you might survive; it was ironic that now it was also your words that had smashed hope to the ground. “That's the only useful way to go down.”

You reached behind you to where the familiar sheaths were. Your clean daggers felt so good against your hands that you almost wept harder. After fighting with them so many times, it was simply just sad that this was the last time. “One of us should survive. Take the gas of all of us to scavenge a journey to safety.”

“Eren, please,” Mikasa pleaded, and Armin joined in.

“I witnessed you die before,” Armin said, terror making his voice twist in strange ways. “I'm not going to do it again.”

“I'm not going!” Eren said, half-screaming. “Mikasa, you should go - you're one of the best students! Or Armin, you're the smartest out of all of us... And Y/N! You've saved us before, maybe you should let us save you.”

“Eren. The majority of this group say that you should go. Don't disgrace us and fight with us... That's selfish.” You smiled weakly. 

Death was no stranger to you. You had seen it on many occasions, had bestowed it on others without a second thought. But why was death so terrifying to you now? Maybe it was the blankness, the emptiness of feeling nothing for all eternity that scared you. It was the small things, the tickle of tears on your cheeks, or the skipping of your heart. You'd miss the rainy days, where you could just sit and admire the damp. But you'd miss the sunny days too, where the smell of lemons and ice cream reigned the entire day. Nights were so beautiful - maybe you'd miss them the most. 

You opened your eyes without realizing that you had shut them. Eren had tears in his eyes, and even Mikasa was hiding her face from all of you. “I'm so sorry,” Eren whispered. For a moment, you were glad because you thought he was going to get out. But he wielded his swords once again, with all of the poise and balance of an assassin. “Allow me to be selfish for the rest of my life, even if I wish to spend it with you.”

A sob worked its way up your throat. You choked on it, trying to stifle it, but it got through along with tears. What would you say? There were so many words that you hadn't said before, so many languages that you hadn't tasted. There were so many scenes that you hadn't had the chance to see, and so many friends that you hadn't said goodbye to. You were sobbing now, standing despite your shaking knees. 

If you wanted to say your final words, now was the time. You'd never thought about the beauty of final words; they were the last thing that your lips would shape, the last thing that the world would ever hear from you. You breathed out, a hollowness in your chest. There were three words that you'd never said to anyone, had never thought you'd ever say in your life. They were kind of beautiful, short and so often said without meaning. But now, you'd say them. You'd say them to everyone that had ever meant anything to you, to the world for giving you such a beautiful place to live in. You'd say them to the family that you'd willingly left behind, to the red-haired girl who was safely in school. They'd be your final words.

“I love you,” you said, and they just felt right as they left your tongue. You remembered the way that your tongue twisted to shape the words, the way that you savoured the sound of your own voice for the last time. 

They were beautiful last words. And you were glad.

The titans knew that the time was coming. You saw them getting restless, standing and fidgeting in their excitement of wiping you out. You took one step towards them, and then another. If you were going to meet death, then you'd meet it on your own terms. They needed no more permission than that - they started running, cloaks billowing behind them like the stormiest of clouds. There was beauty in the way that they moved, you supposed, as they ran like fluid weaving its way through the air.

You couldn't lift your own arm to protect yourself as the nearest titan ran towards you with a sword. You watched him move forward in slow motion. Dying by a sword was a nice death, a clean death. It was a swipe, or a slash; you wouldn't even feel it if you were careful. You smiled, the stretch of your lips the last thing that you'd command your body to do. Then, all you did was watch. 

It connected, but not to you.

A sword had swiped downwards, parrying the sword that had been about to take your head off. As quick as a flash, the saving sword had slashed through the titan's body, cutting clean through the cloak and the flesh and the blood. You were still smiling as Levi Ackerman stood up, landing neatly beside you with his swords drawn. “You even think of touching her again,” he snarled, his back to you, “and I'll kill you all myself.”

You were stuck silent, looking around as Levi's squad swept in. You'd almost forgotten that they were positioned just outside the gate - of course they'd noticed when a boulder crashed into the hole, and so they'd come to just the other side of the wall to find you battling hundreds of titans. You watched as Oluo dived in and out of the hoard of titans, and Eld running at them with his swords drawn. Gunther was protecting Mikasa and Eren, and Armin had joined in with a relieved smile. 

A titan grabbed your shoulders from behind, and you squealed with rage as his claws dug into your neck, drawing blood. Levi turned, but somehow strength was seeping back into your bones. You threw yourself backwards to the ground, the titan clinging to your back making a crunching sound as it landed first, a crack shuddering through its body as its spine snapped. Feeling the lax of his grip, you jumped back up, seeing Levi give you an approving glance. 

“Since those beasts obviously didn't listen to my threat,” Levi smiled, and you shivered at the terrifying sight, “I now have to murder you all.”

One moment he was in front of you, and you were wiping your tears away. The next, he was gone, flying through the air. Wherever he went, death followed. It was strange to see; a moment ago, you had been terrified of death. But now, seeing it totally under Levi's command, you found it almost funny. But your daggers were thirsty for blood, and you were more than happy to satiate it. You ducked back into the fight, knowing that your body was exhausted but not caring. As long as they died, who cared if you were hurting? 

Pixis and Hannes, obviously seeing Humanity’s Strongest enter the fray, soon sent out what soldiers they could, swooping like birds from the walls, swords and blood flying everywhere. The titans fell quickly, falling to panic and indecision and swords. Soon, all too soon, the remainders of them were running for cover within the houses. Soldiers retreated back to the walls, smiles and grins obvious in their stances alone.

Levi's squad landed by you, Gunther and Eld stretching their arms and laughing among themselves as Oluo boasted about his many kills. Mikasa, Eren and Armin were smiling relieved little smiles, their bodies exhausted and their legs about to give out. Oluo helped Armin onto his back, and Gunther grabbed Eren. Eld, not daring to touch Mikasa after seeing her skills with the titans, gingerly placed his hand on her waist and tugged her arm so that it rested on his shoulders.

As they walked down the main street, knowing that they'd be safe due to the terrified titans, you were left with Levi. “You were giving up,” Levi said, traces of anger showing in his tone. “You saw the sword coming towards your head and you had the daggers to parry it. But you didn't.”

“I thought that I was ready for death,” you said. Seeing Levi's eyes cloud into fury, you smiled. “But I'm not anymore. I'm never going to give in again; even if I'm exhausted, I'll think one more. If I'm bleeding out, I'll make it two. I'll never give in again.”

“Good.”

Levi started walking off, but you spotted his hand shaking. You tried to follow him, but your legs gave up as you tried to take a step, and you fell to the ground. Levi turned, seeing you on the ground looking up at him. You saw his eyes - the sliver of silver that ringed them – and knew that he’d walked away not because he’d been disappointed or anger, but because he hadn’t wanted to see what you nearly dying had done to him.

He took a breath, distracting you from your thoughts about his intentions. “Screw this.”

You were confused. What was he saying? What did he mean?

He walked back towards you, and crouched in front of you. You cocked your head, wondering what he was doing - wasn't he going to help you up? But then his hands reached out and softly raised themselves to touch your face. His fingertips were cold, and you felt them icily caress your skin as they touched your jaw, boldly tracing a path around your neck to hold and angle your head. 

Levi leaned in, his eyes travelling their way up from where they’d been resting on your lips to your eyes. He was slow, letting you think.

But he didn’t know that thinking was currently impossible for you as he leaned closer.

No, you couldn’t think at all as he lightly tipped back your head, his eyes dark with worry and anger and something else, and kissed you.


	23. Chapter 23 - The Rush

There was a blissful silence dominating your thoughts, and at first you found it so clean and satisfying. The nothingness meant that you forgot that you were tired, that you were hurting and in so much pain that you had just fallen to the floor - the cobblestones were cold and hard against your knees, but still you were able to forget them. There was nothing in your mind apart from everything.

His lips were firm against yours, as if both of you were shell-shocked by Levi's decision. Nevertheless, they were still soft somehow. Both of you paused, testing each other’s reactions, before Levi slightly adjusted his head’s angle and again fitted his lips perfectly against yours in such a way that you couldn't bring yourself to feel that this was wrong. It felt utterly right and correct in itself, so you didn't do anything except kiss him back.

His tongue traced the bottom curve of your lips, teasing and testing, and you opened for him in response and allowed him to explore. You stayed like that for a while, mouth against mouth, a furious clash of need and fury. His fingers were firmly hooked around the base of your jaw and even though most would have seen it as a safety thing, to make sure that you wouldn't get away, you knew that if you had even showed the slightest aversion to kissing Levi then he would have pushed you away instantly, regardless of his wishes.

Finally, your lungs needed air more than your mouth needed his, and you leaned back slightly. Levi stayed where he was, watching you carefully with clear grey eyes. You knew instantly that you were blushing, your cheeks heating to an impossible temperature and making the rest of your face burn. “U-ummm,” you stuttered, your mouth already frozen as if it was shocked because of what it had done.

Levi rolled his eyes exasperatedly before looking at you with a raised eyebrow. “Um indeed,” he said, before standing up. You leaned forward, trying to persuade your legs to take your weight, but you knew that it was useless. The only thing that you could feel from your thighs down to your toes was a dreadful cold, settling into the very marrow of your bones. “Arms around me,” Levi ordered, crouching down again. You averted your gaze automatically, shyly putting an arm around his shoulders. Seeing your embarrassment, Levi chuckled as he secured one arm around your waist and another scooping up your legs, lifting you bridal-style. Suddenly standing up, you squealed at the dizziness clouding your mind and hugged Levi tighter, afraid that he would drop you, afraid that this was a dream. 

But Levi's arms tightened around your form and he placed his cheek onto your forehead tenderly, the cool skin of his cheek providing more comfort than anything else. You cooed, approving of the contrast between his cold skin and your blisteringly hot face. Levi swore slightly, probably from the heat, but he didn't waver in his movements. He began following the road that his teammates had taken, lengthening his strides so as to catch up to them within this titan-infested area for safety in numbers. 

***

“You're telling me that you guys did nothing, and yet her face is burning hotter than a stove?”

Oluo's teasing voice made you wake from a stupor that you didn't realize you had sunken in. You were still in Levi's arms, so you weren't afraid somehow. Levi was walking with his team, so close now to the wall that would signify safety. Eld and Gunther were listening in with silent glee, and you were sure that once Levi was alone with his team, he'd probably make life hell for them - cleaning the entire castle, most likely. 

“She's got an actual fever, you pig,” Levi said, looking down at you. His eyes widened as he saw that you were awake, so you knew that you'd been out for a while. You didn't feel particularly ill, but maybe it was just the fatigue that was steadily working its way to more of your muscles. You couldn't really feel anything.

“So now you both have germs,” Oluo said, feigning dramatic groans. “How unfortunate… You must be very upset about this entire thing, Heichou.”

“Oluo,” Levi said, his tone communicating his death threat before his actual glare. “I'm serious. Stop kidding around.”

Gunther edged closer to you, looking you over with worried eyes. “We need to get her in, and then rush her to a doctor.”

“There won't be a decent one for miles,” Eld commented, lengthening his own strides to match Levi's in its urgency. “She'll probably have to hang on until they all go back to their school.”

“She doesn't have that kind of time!” Levi snapped, and you saw Gunther's shock at Levi's quick temper. You opened your mouth to say something, but then a searing pain fired itself down your throat. You gasped, the rush of air making you painfully aware of how dry your throat was, of how much your tongue had swollen. Levi was instantly alert, his eyes scanning your face until he saw your rapidly blinking eyes; you were doing your best not to cry out in pain.

“I'll make it, dammit,” you hissed, the weak sound the best that you could produce. “I'm not about to be taken down by a mere illness.”

“That mere illness will kill you in three days if you don't see a doctor,” Eld piped up, but at this point you had reached the main walls. “Anyone can fight against titans. But not many can fight against a fever on their own and win.”

“Shut up,” Levi snarled, but whether it was aimed at Eld or you, you couldn't know. You had been about to tell Eld a snarky comment about how you absolutely would survive this, but maybe Levi had seen that coming a mile away. 

The moment that your odd party approached the gates, they swung open and all of you were hurriedly rushed into the busy interior. Your heavy eyes only caught flashes of people rushing past, everything blurring in together. You blamed it on the fact that you were exhausted, but your throat and now your chest were beginning to regain their feeling - and it wasn't a good feeling. It was like sand was crawling through your veins, the slow pain of being slow and clogged down. Plus, the sand was sometimes white hot, boiling your blood from the inside. Then it melted into ice, which felt much the same as the burning. You panted, the air cool even as it rushed past your throat, needing that air to get into your blood to blow the sand away.

“Y/N, I need you to calm down.” Levi said, starting a run through the people crowding the street. “Stop breathing that fast, you're going to faint.”

“But I need air!” You gasped, your hands shaking as you clenched Levi's shoulder. “I'm going to burn, Levi.”

“Like hell you are,” Levi snarled, putting you down on a seat. You instantly flop into the chair, resting your head on the smooth wooden table next to it. There wasn't anything particularly cool or hot, but the fact that you were now still, not being rocked, helped somehow. “I didn't save your sorry ass twice just so you could die on me.” 

“What's wrong with her?”

You heard Jean before you saw him. He was holding his bag, which had obviously been stuffed with clothes. His eyes widened as he took in your slumped form and his body straightened as he tried to reach you. Levi, however, was immediately between you both, preventing Jean from coming too close. “Back off, brat. You don't want her germs.”

“She's ill?”

Levi growled, and you didn't have to see his face to know that he was glaring at Jean because of the stupid question. “What an insightful conclusion - it was almost as though that fact was blatantly obvious!”

“The headmaster has told us all that we have to go back to school,” Jean insisted, holding up another bag - your bag. He must've had it packed by one of the girls so that you wouldn't have to. “First years have to depart now, and then the second years. The third years are staying here for additional back-up, and the officials are claiming it as work experience.”

“Fancy words,” spat Levi, relaxing a little. “They just need more soldiers to make up for all of the ones that died today.”

“So I need Y/N to come with me. I've got her horse ready, and Krista is her riding partner.” Jean explained, his voice steadily rising in pitch and speed. It was clear to you that he was slightly panicking because of the events, because of the fact that you were ill, and maybe because Levi was suddenly in his face.

“Listen up, brat.”

“I am listening!” The fact that Jean had snapped at Levi, of all people, showed how his own patience was wearing thin. Levi wasn’t having any of it, however.

“Then listen closer. This girl is sick, but the doctors here are going to be busy with all of the people with injuries thanks to the titans; they won't be able to give her the attention that she needs.”

“So we have to go to the doctors at school?”

“Yes. And so I don't care how you do it; break as many rules as you need, and use anything that you have to. But just get Y/N to safety - whatever it takes, at least get this girl to your school. Understand, brat?”

“I get it,” Jean says, and he steps nimbly around Levi to pick you up. You snarl quietly, the sound painful to make. Jean rolls his eyes, holding you closer to his chest even as your cheeks light up again. It was embarrassing enough that you couldn't stand on your own - but to have Jean carrying you? That was a million times worse. Ignoring your self-pitying look, Jean looked defiantly back at Levi. “We'll be going now, if we need to get you there quickly.”

“I hate your attitude,” was the mere reply. But as Jean stepped out back onto the busy street, where several horses were being loaded up with hastily packed bags, you heard Levi mutter, “but I'm glad for it.”

Jean rushed through the crowd at a pace that you weren't even sure you could have managed, nimbly dodging both horses and people as everyone rushed around. The first years were desperate to get out of here, to get back to the safety of the school. It was ironic, almost - that school was the one place that you had deemed the most dangerous. But now you wanted nothing more than to get back to it, that safe haven of grass and swords and lessons.

“Y/N!” Krista cried, holding both her mare and Skira's reigns in her small hands. Jean handed her your pack first, which she secured onto the leather saddle with shaking fingers, before stepping closer to the stormy grey horse. Jean grunted as he raised your body to the seat, maneuvering your body so that you could collapse into Skira's neck. “She's coming down with a fever,” Krista said, looking at Jean with wide eyes. “I could get herbs to relieve the pain, but there aren't any apothecaries near here... So I assume that someone will ride with her? She can't ride alone, not like that.”

Jean looked stunned. “I... I hadn't considered that.”

“I can't leave my mare alone,” Krista said. “Is there no one without a horse? Preferably lightweight, as well?”

“I'll ride with her,” Jean said. “There's no time to get anyone else. Plus, I'm one of the best when it comes to horse-handling.”

He climbed on top of Skira, the horse snorting in annoyance but not offering any other resistance. Maybe she could sense that this was important, that your life was in danger. Jean was in front of you, moving bags around so that Krista's horse could take all of the bags and supplies attached, meaning that Skira could run faster despite carrying two people. He looked back, his brown eyes warm with worry, and probably freaked out slightly to see you leaning back in a stupor, E/C eyes clouded with illness. You could see him clearly, but everything beyond two meters was blurred together. “Y/N, don't panic, but I'm tying you to me. I can't have you falling backwards of the horse.”

You couldn't complain even if you had wished to. Blackness was starting to creep in from the edges of your vision, though you blinked and willed it away. You felt a rope being tied around your body, a thick and uncomfortable band around your waist and then around Jean's as well. Deciding that leaning against the rope would soon kill your muscles around your waist, you slyly leaned forwards until your head rested on Jean's back. Your arms instinctively wrapped themselves weakly around his waist, and you closed your eyes rather than watch the black fog dominate your vision.

“I worked it out,” you whispered, your senses clogged and useless.

“You've worked what out? Do you need water? Food? Do you know the cure?”

“No. You're so good with horses because you are one!” You croaked, a smile stretching your cracked lips. Jean only looked more creeped out; worry was now sketching itself as wrinkles on his forehead. He kicked Skira's sides, even though the first years hadn't been given the all-clear to leave yet, and the horse burst into a run down the streets. Civilians leaped out of the way, and Jean made it all the way to the other gate. Somehow, the gate was already up and open. He laughed as you both flew past it into the open, but you looked back with what little vision you had left. 

A small figure was on top of the wall, just outside of the gatehouse. He watched you go, a lone figure on top of a horse, cantering further and further away from him by the second. You raised a feeble hand, not strong enough to wave it around, but that was enough. The figure also raised its hand, and you smiled as you relaxed back into Jean.

You fell deeper into the pit of black with the wind brushing through your hair, calming the fire in your veins and making you feel as though you were flying. It wasn't a bad place to fall asleep; with Skira's rhythmical muscles working to get you to safety, and Jean's comforting heat, you felt comfortable enough.

It wasn't a bad place to fall asleep.

And so, you faded.

Fading was simplistic, easy. It was as though you were encased in a cloud that you couldn't smell or feel; there was only a pale cloud that had no colour or taste. Fading into the wispy nothingness was easy enough for you; anyone could have done it, their mind driven mad because of their steadily worsening body. You couldn't feel it now. With no pain and no burning, it was simple to think of it as though you were just falling asleep.

That's why you were fighting like hell to get out.

The cloud was a trap - you didn't want to enter it at all. Feeling nothing may be a blessing to some people, but it just scared you beyond measure. Life with pain is always preferable to life without it - pain showed that you had lived. All of the scars on your body were memories; granted, all of the memories were painful. But there was always something there. The scars on your knees were from the time where Levi had rescued you in the prison, when you had truly thought that you were going to die. The scar that slightly appeared on the back of your hand was from the time where you had knocked out forty titans when they were outside of your school, and you had met Eren, Mikasa and Armin.

Scars were something that most people would see as ugly. But the memories behind them most definitely weren't. The thin, pale lines all told stories. You'd be damned if you let those stories sink away without being told, without earning the smiles and the hope that they deserved. What was the point in life if you just slipped away meaninglessly, another mundane human taken by disease?

So you fought like hell to hang on, to grip to whatever was still tethering you to your body and your scars and your memories. There were times where it was exceedingly difficult, and even if your body wasn't getting tired, your mind most certainly was. You didn't dare let it sleep, lest it slip into the abyss of nothingness. The cloud looked simply wonderful to you; all comfort and loving with the promise of rest. But you knew that it was forever - and only a fool would rest forever. There were races to be had, friends to be cared for, people to tease. 

“She's dying.”

The words were foggy; it sounded like there was a cup surrounding each of your ears, the words distorted and odd sounding. It took you a while to understand them, and that they were indeed about you. You felt a rush of indignation: did the voice dare to doubt your survival? You would have frowned, but that would have required a face that still had the ability to move. You were just trying to hang on, but you were far from having access to move your own body.

“Of course she's dying. You brought her here, knowing her condition, and you expect me to work miracles? She should have been treated the very instant they recognized the symptoms of fever and exhaustion.”

The next words were clearer, and you were able to understand them quicker. You knew exactly what you would have done now - scrunch up your eyes brows and roll your eyes. Idiocy was not within the list of traits that you possessed. It didn't exactly take a genius to know that you were going to die if you didn't win this fight. The two voices move away, slipping away from you like water escaping from your cupped hands. You wanted them to come back, to help you; to wake you up so that you wouldn't have to face the ever-close cloud that was inching closer to you with every second.

“If you don't save her, then you're going to make an enemy out of a lot of people, Doc.”

You frowned - figuratively. This voice was different from the other one that had spoken. There were two people and one doctor. Storing the information away, you savoured the fact that having the voices held you firmly in your consciousness. The cloud wasn't moving away, but it definitely wasn't moving closer.

“Are you threatening me? I am not wasting the limited antibiotics that we have in our possession on a girl who is going to die anyway. The titans have raided so many places that store medicine.”

“Give her medicine!”

You recognized the two other voices now. You could clearly see Jean and Marco in your mind's eye, with angered faces and crossed arms. “You don't get it, do you? Give her a chance to live, at least!”

“There will be more students coming in who will need those antibiotics, ones that will definitely live if I give it to them. This girl is dying - she is but an inch from death right now. I won't waste medicine on her.”

You decided that you didn't like this new doctor at all. You tried strengthen the tether between your thoughts and your body, trying the bridge the gap that shouldn't be there in the first place. You'd wake up and give this doctor a piece of your mind. 

“You're making an enemy out of the long list of people that you don't want as your enemy,” Jean said, and although his voice was strong, it was unsure. “Myself and Marco, for one.”

“Get out of my hospital,” the doctor growled, but you strained your ears to hear that two sets of footsteps were approaching your bed anyway. You were jolted for a second, wondering how you knew that you were in a bed.

There!

There was feeling!

You weren't floating after all. You could feel the heat of your body being reflected by the sheets, trapping the burning between your skin and the cotton. It wasn't much - it was practically nothing - but you almost wept for joy. Slowly, ever so slowly, you had been regaining that which you had lost. The cloud was still there, in the depths of nothing in your mind, but you could firmly ignore it now. 

Willing for nothing more, you focused everything that you had to opening your eyes. It was difficult - your body didn't want to respond to your wishes, the fever sluggishly and firmly holding your muscles to its own will. But you did it.

E/C eyes dragged themselves open, the tiredness and dryness making it hurt. But soon they were open weakly, eyelids barely letting up. From there, it was almost too easy to grin as you saw Marco and Jean right by your bed. After all of that fighting, smiling was easy, and seemed to be effortless. Marco's reaction made the fight worth it - he yelped in joy, gripping Jean's shirt so tight that his knuckles went white. Jean looked scared silly for a mere moment, but then his eyes found that yours were open and he grinned spectacularly.

There was movement behind them, and you slowly focused your eyes on it. Isabel was there, her red hair greasy and unkempt. She had just stood from her chair, and stayed there, not moving at all. But then you realized that she was moving - her body was trembling so violently that your eyes squinted when looking at her, not able to cope with so much movement. 

Isabel was safe. Isabel was here.

You smiled again and passed out.

***

Three years earlier {minus three years from your current age}

“You won't change,” you say, trying to convince yourself. The night was cold - the air whispered past your bare arms, chilling your skin and making your shiver. At your back was one of the many abandoned houses within the village - the village that had recently been taken over by the titans that were your family. You weren't stupid; you knew that many humans had died here. But what could you do? It was one girl who hadn't yet taken her ritual against an entire family of titans, who were all so proud because of their recent success. You had a cottage to yourself, but you were still standing outside of it. The heat of the house coaxed at your back, but your entire attention was focused on the figure in front of you.

His name was Orion, after the stars that were currently lording over the sky. You'd known him only for a few years, but had been partnered with him since the moment that his mother had forced her cruel way into your family - not that you weren't used to cruelty.

But Orion was so different from all of those that you had known before. Your family were cruel and vicious, a fact that you knew well. You couldn't help hating the family that was your own - how could you love them, when they'd torn apart so many other families? Orion was different, right from the moment that he'd bowed to you to greet you. He offered a kind smile as often as your parents offered a violent punishment, and there was something soft about him that you couldn't stay away from.

You were more than glad for his company. Soon, he wasn't just your friend, but your partner. During the constant fighting lessons, he'd been paired up with you and at once, everyone could tell that you together were lethal - he covered for all of your weak spots. Where your archery was merely competent, his was simply amazing. And where his long fingers couldn't feel comfortable around a sword handle, your daggers made up for it. It was well known across your family that Orion and Y/N were one day going to lead the army of titans against the humans. Orion and Y/N were the twins, not in body, but in soul.

But now your twin was looking terrified, looking down at his feet. Your family had long since gone to their newly acquired houses, leaving the bonfire flaring throughout the night. You felt sick as you remembered what, exactly, they had been burning. Snapping your thoughts away from that road, you looked again at Orion. “You won't change,” you repeat. It sounded empty, like you didn't mean it. But you did; with every inch of your being, you meant it.

“But I will,” Orion murmurs, looking nervously around for anyone listening in. “I won't have a choice.”

“Orion! You can't give up hope! You've just got to fight it.” You stand on your tiptoes, trying to look more clearly into his brown eyes. It didn't help that he was so much taller than you, his muscles well developed thanks to the many years running through the forests surrounding your family's territory. Orion leans away from you, a pained expression dancing across his face as he sweeps his dark brown hair out of his eyes.

“Y/N... It's my birthday tomorrow, and I've got to take that damn ritual. They will cut the back of my neck, and they'll cripple the part of the mind that makes me... Well, me.”

“I know that!” You say, tears starting to well up in your eyes. You'd seen the ritual performed several times. The sweet girl who had been your childhood friend had been made into a hungering, murdering titan before your very eyes. Your cousin, a strong boy who had been the first to teach you how to sword-fight, now always preferred to use his nails and teeth to kill rather than the clean swipe of a sword. “I know... But you've simply got to fight it, please!! Don't leave me alone with these people... These monsters!”

Orion gathered you in his arms, which was easy considering how your smaller frame simply melted into his bigger one. “I won't leave you alone,” he said. You looked up at him, over your tears, and saw the determination there. He was Orion, the one that had been there for you when your family forced you into a warrior's life. He'd been there with bandages when they'd taken it too far with training and with other food when you'd refused to eat human flesh.

He'd be strong enough. If there was anyone that was strong enough to resist the ritual, it was your Orion. Your twin in soul.

***


	24. Chapter 24 - The Curls

“Y/N!”

Instinct made your right fist lash out so quickly that you didn't even realize what you were doing until it connected with a sharp smack. For a moment, you froze – and then hearty laughter broke out. You opened your eyes and gasped when you found it so easy; just to prove it to yourself, you blinked again. The simplistic movement held exhaustion in its muscles, but after the cloud and your memory, you knew that you could easily hold off just a little tiredness.

“Good thing that I was prepared,” you heard someone mutter derisively. It took you a moment to gather your wits and actually look at where your fist had ended up. It was fitting quite snugly within another person's hand, their open palm meaning that it had meant to catch your blow. You looked to whom the arm belonged to and wasn't surprised at all to find Levi glaring at you, his grey eyes shining. Behind him were Marco and Jean, both of them laughing at your abrupt punch. Krista, Ymir and Isabel stood just to the left of the hospital bed, and you made sure to grin widely at each and every one of them.

“You look more or less alive,” Levi murmured, looking carefully at your face as you brought your attention readily back to him. He fell back into a glare as he shot Jean a look. “Kirstein, you may live.”

“Gee, thanks,” the sarcastic reply came, but it trembled with something akin to relief.

“Y/N L/N, do you have any idea what you put me through?” Isabel demanded, kneeling at the side of your bed. You attempted to send her a weak smile, but the red-haired girl was having none of it as she looked down haughtily at you. “I heard about the attack – nearly went insane with worry - but as Shadis finally got us prepared to move out and come to rescue you, Jean sailed right through the open gate with you clutched in his arms!”

You looked at Jean, surprised. He shrugged at the bemused look, deliberately ignoring the threatening aura that Levi managed to present. “You passed out, and I couldn't very well ride if you kept trying to unconsciously fall off.”

Levi growled, but let it go. “I can't believe you fought the fever off for as long as you did. That damn doctor... I have a good mind to tell him just what exactly he might need the medicine for in the future –“

“Don't,” you interrupted. “As soon as I get back on my feet, I have more of a right than any of you to tell him off.”

“You… You may not be able to have that opportunity for a while,” Marco said softly. “You only just got medicine today, Y/N. You fought off the fever on your own for three days – frightened us half to death as we got back to school and found that you were completely comatose, having gotten no medicine or care.”

“I only just got medicine today?” You repeated, outrage stiffening your voice.

“Levi cantered through the gates today and demanded to see you. Once Jean and I told him that the doctor refused to give you antibiotics, he...”

“Went a bit mad,” Jean finished, glancing nervously at the black-haired man standing in front of you, who was quietly seething with the memory of his rage. Ymir snorted.

“If 'a bit mad' means absolutely tyrannical, then I'd say that you're correct,” she slyly said, shooting you a wink, as she stood up. “Jean and Marco haven't slept very much at all these past few days. I'll take them to their Dorm.”

You nodded, the simple movement sending a flash of pain up your neck. You clamped your teeth together to keep from hissing, and watch as Krista and Ymir lead the two boys away. Jean smiled and Marco nodded at you one last time, and then they were gone.

Isabel edged her chair closer and ended up laying her head on your bed. You smile weakly, glancing up at Levi with a blush. You had no clue how to act around him - and was it really so hard to understand why? He'd just randomly kissed you before you'd fallen fatally ill. Maybe that would put a damper on the possibility of future kisses.

Levi saw your confusion in your blush. He sighed dramatically, pushing his hair back from his eyes – clearly not understanding exactly how appealing the movement was - and sat on the edge of your bed before lying fully back, his body just a few inches away. You felt, rather than saw, his head lie on the pillow beside yours. 

You both stayed in that position for far longer than you’d expected, in utter silence. Isabel’s easy, deep breaths told you enough about her state – utterly asleep, her head level with your waist. And then, of course, Levi was lying right next to you. His voice flew over the few inches of space between your head and his. “Don't look so scared, brat. I'm not interested in getting dirty germs.”

You breathed a laugh. It was only a while longer that Levi’s breathing had evened out to match Isabel’s, meaning that you were once again alone in the darkness. You reached up to your face with your hands, marvelling at how easy it was to move, and traced your jaw and chin. It was the small things that made you happy to be alive.

But it was only when you traced your cheeks that you realized they were wet with tears.

The memories that had surfaced during your dreams had been so strong that it had caused your body to react without you even knowing. Cursing yourself for thinking about the 'before' time, knowing that it was useless to go back to then, you once again shut down all memories and feelings from that time. You built up the wall, familiar and strong, before finally settling down to sleep.

The exhaustion made it easy to lapse into a land of dreams.

But what you hadn't planned on was the fact that all of the figures that appeared had brown eyes full of kindness and a head full of curly dark brown hair – and whispered his name, again and again.

Orion.

Orion.

Orion.

***

Waking up was a relief, regardless of the fact that your skin was clammy and damp with sweat. It meant that you were still alive, despite your illness and the cloud hovering near in your mind. You opened your eyes to the cool, white room of the infirmary and stretched your arms out, the icy temperature of the room making you shiver. As you adjusted your positioning on the bed, there was a grumble somewhere down at your side, and you glanced down to see Isabel's messy hair still on your bed. You grinned at her ability to sleep like a log, and then looked around.

The beds were mostly taken up by students. Curtains were drawn around those casualties that were too seriously hurt, but there were a few that were just sleeping. There were students from both the first and second years, but when you couldn't see any third years you realized that they were probably still on their 'work experience'.

“You're awake,” a voice said, frighteningly close to you, “so I suppose that you didn't die in your sleep.”

“Your confidence in me is truly strong,” you retort smugly. You moved your body, turning onto your other side so that you were nose to nose with the raven-haired man who had slept there. Forcing yourself not to blush at the sudden proximity, you confidently smiled at him instead. “I won't let a stupid illness kill me.” Levi raised an eyebrow. You growled at him before burrowing into your pillows and blankets so that only your face was visible. “Just be glad that I continue to tolerate your presence.”

“You’re the one that tolerates me?”

“Barely even then.”

At Levi's lack of a witty response, you open your eyes to see his face leaning into yours and you squeak in surprise as he kisses you. This wasn't the furious clash that had been your first kiss with Levi, but softer somehow. He was leaning on his elbows, keeping his weight off of you carefully. In a matter of seconds, you decide that you do in fact like this - you like kissing Levi very much.

“Huh - what?”

Levi jerks back, breathless, as he trains his glare on Isabel - who had just woken up. Her green eyes were wide and stunned, looking from you to Levi and back. “Aniki? Y/N? What...?” You glance up at Levi for a millisecond, blushing down to the very roots of your hair. Seeing the look of utter annoyance on his face, you immediately lower your eyes to your lap, where your hands had formed small fists in the blankets. 

“Aniki!”

At Isabel's protesting shout, you look back up. Levi had gotten up and begun walking away, his hands in his pockets. He didn’t bother to look back over his shoulder as he coolly said his farewell. “I've got to go. Haven't even started my paperwork yet.”

“But –“ Isabel started to say, but Levi shot her a look that quickly shut her up. He gave you a smirk, causing you to blush further, and then he was gone. The door shut behind him, and you sighed as you sunk further into your bed. “Y/N... What in the actual name of Erwin’s eyebrows was that?”

“Ummm - well, I'm not entirely sure... It was very unexpected...”

 

“Aniki kissed you,” Isabel said, sounding as though she was just trying to understand the meaning of the words. “Was this the first time?”

“No,” you groaned. “I was about to die and he kind of just... You know.”

Isabel stood up, running her hands through her hair. For a brief second, you were angered at her – surely she could manage to be excited, or thrilled that you found someone you’d like to kiss, or angry that you hadn’t told her sooner – or something? But then the girl stopped her pacing and turned back to you slowly, pinning you under her sincere stare. “Do you love him?”

You look up at her and evaluated her unflinching gaze. There was something behind her eyes, some scheme or knowledge that she was keeping from you. Knowing that she wouldn't tell you if you asked what she really meant behind the simplistic question, you did the thing that you knew best. You sank back into the game, bartering information and keeping information until you knew that it could be used for something bigger. Bristling at Isabel's hidden motives, you immediately avoided her question. “I don't really know... I'm not used to it all yet.”

Isabel nodded, standing up from her chair. You ignored her raised eyebrow, the ultimate evidence that she knew that you knew about her not telling you everything. And her sigh, the impudent stance of her crossing her arms – you could tell that she knew about all of that as well. You two could read each other far too well. “Well, I've got to go. It's Friday, by the way.”

“So?” You asked, blankly wondering about your best friend and her clear attempt to get out of the room.

“So, the game's on,” Isabel smiled slightly. “Farlan and I've been playing it by ourselves for the past two weeks... We've lost to Petra both times now.”

“The game's on?!” You yelped, sitting up abruptly and feeling a wave of nausea roll in through your gut. “But we've just got back! What are they thinking?”

“You won't be playing,” Isabel gently chuckles. “You're too ill. Let the old team go at it! Seven Deadly Sins - minus Pride, of course. We might even beat Petra now that we have Annie back... You never know. Although Farlan seems to be a little wary of her, I’m not going to lie.”

“I'm not too ill,” you said, but even as the words passed your lips you knew that they were probably a lie. “I'm just tired. I'll see you tonight.”

“Whatever,” Isabel clucks, waving her hand carelessly at you and walking her way out. She paused in the doorway, her face looking troubled, and looks back as though she wanted to say something. But as a few moments passed, she merely walked out and quietly closed the door. You looked blankly after her, wondering what had got her in such a weird state. Was seeing Levi kiss you really that shocking? Your relationship was a very passionate one – once, it had been full of hate and anger and excitement. But was it so hard to believe that he had kissed you?

You swung your legs over the edge of the bed, the movements aching but not seriously hurting. Standing up was a bit more painful - and by painful, you meant that you bit your lip too hard in the process so that soon your mouth was full of the taste of blood. You were up, though, and standing on your own two feet felt wonderful. Then, you heard a movement just behind you and you immediately twisted around to face it, ignoring the protests of your legs. 

A man in a white coat was just three meters away, holding a water bottle and looking at you with stunned eyes. He glanced at your bedside table, where a clipboard was laying, and then glared at you. “Y/N L/N, yes?” You said nothing. From the instant that he began talking, you recognized his voice as the new doctor's, and you had a score to settle with him. “I didn't realize that you were awake,” he continued once it became clear that you weren't going to answer. “You're a very strong willed person.”

“I'm just glad that I got medicine,” you said, your tone sickly sweet. “Who knows what would have happened if I didn't.” His grey eyes froze on yours, and you could tell that he knew exactly what you were referring to. 

He steps backwards, a movement that you weren't expecting. He impatiently gestured for you to follow him, and so you took small steps so that your legs could handle the movement. He led you to the end bed, to where a second year was sleeping behind a curtain, her light brown hair swept into a messy plait on one side of her face.

“I only got more medicine yesterday,” the doctor snapped, looking over his patient pityingly. “If you had gotten medicine before that, then this girl would have had to have gone without. And she'd be dead by now.” He yanked the curtain back into place and moved onto the next bed, with a boy this time. “Him too. If I'd used the medicine on you instead of him, he'd be rotting underground.”

You swallowed. You regretted saying anything; it was obvious that this doctor had believed that you could fight off the disease better than the two second years that you had just seen. Seeing your harsh gaze soften a fraction, the doctor decided that you understood and walked back towards what must have been his office. “You probably owe your guy your life, though. I wouldn’t have given you the medicine today if he hadn’t… Persuaded me otherwise.”

You ran your eye over the doctor’s body and noted how he was slightly hunched, pain clearly lying across his ribs. The man snorted, knowing where your attention had gone, and shut the door to his office. Walking back to your own bed, you decided that you weren't going to stay here any longer than was absolutely necessary. Not with that doctor snapping at you. 

Putting your hand into your pocket, you jumped as you felt cold iron underneath your fingertips. But after a few seconds of tracing the outline of the object, you promptly calmed down enough to understand what it was – and who had slipped it there, should you be in need of it. Checking that the doctor was still in his office, you quietly walked towards the door that Isabel had just went out of and slipped outside, taking care to close it with equal silence. 

The school was exactly the same as ever. The same carpet cushioned your footsteps, and the same walls were around you - it was these small things that made you smile. You steadily paced yourself as you climbed up the spiralling staircase, past all of the floors until you got to the top one. Your goal was obvious - you just wanted peace until the time was right to play the game, and the key in your pocket was comforting in the fact that just one other person had another one just like it. And Levi had gone away to do paperwork, so there was no need to worry about anyone else being up there at all. 

The process of making your way around the many corners and through a series of doors was hesitant. At first, you weren't sure of the way there at all, but then as you began walking the path was clear. You mostly moved on muscle memory, knowing the feel of the floor and the smell of each room. Then, the rusted door swam into view at the very end of one of the last corridors, and you grinned to yourself as soon as you saw it. Tucking your H/L hair behind your ear, you placed the key into the keyhole and twisted, the heavy mechanism twisting itself to open the door.

The scents were immediate. Locking the door behind you as an extra precaution, you climbed the stairs to be greeted with a beautiful scene of heaven. Overgrown plants were spilling everywhere, but you climbed past the roots and the lengthy leaves to make your way to a bed of moss that you'd lied in before.

You were afraid to close your eyes; you didn't want to dream. But something about the garden called to your sense of sleep, and lulled you under – to a place where your body wasn’t screaming in pain, and a place where your friends were all happy... A place where Orion's name didn't bring tears to your eyes.

But when they tell you that dreams can come true, they forget that nightmares class as dreams too.

***

The court session was dull. In the crumbling hall of a forgotten manor, you and your family were seated at the head of the dining hall, in seats that were straight-backed and uncomfortable. You kept yourself still, even if the wooden chair was digging into your back with unstoppable ease, because you knew that if you were seen fidgeting then the consequences would be severe. Your cousin had been whipped once, all due to the fact that he had seemed to blink too much. 

Your clothes were black, like the night. As women and young ones were not expected to fight unless they had been trained that way, they were all forced to wear dresses and skirts that moved as they walked. But you were a warrior, regardless of your status. So you were thankful to wear leggings and a close-fitting tunic, with a cloak fastened at your throat. 

Your family were all seated in front of you, growling at the people who had arrived. It was common; titans from everywhere would enter this house, to give news or to entertain those in charge, or simply to see what beasts were going to be leading them into battle next.

One female titan caught your eye. She wore a long dress that brushed the ground as she walked, or rather strutted, showing you that she was first and formerly a female before a warrior. Her hair was as black as the night, drawing looks from those that she wasn't even speaking to. Titans didn't have to wear cloaks if they were not going up against enemies, and this female was making a very public statement that she belonged here.

Your cousin snarled beside you, and as did your uncle. They didn't like this female, and you knew exactly why. Every titan knew about her reputation – how she'd clawed her way up to be here, killing several titans to claim their positions in court. Killing titans wasn't considered a particularly bad thing here; in fact, it was very nearly a normal thing. But the way that they'd been found without necks was something else. 

She made her way up to the titans that were known as your parents and bowed deeply, looking up at your father from underneath her lashes. You didn't have to be clever to know that she was just imagining all the different ways that she could kill him. Your father let out a low growl from the back of his throat, and your uncle stood up dauntingly, just to intimidate her some more.

“Please,” she giggled, her teeth sharpened and nasty, “there's no need for that. I just came to introduce myself.”

“We know who you are,” your uncle snarled, his eyes gleaming. 

“Then allow me to present my son, Orion. I trained him myself, and he's going to be the best warrior that your army has ever seen... Once he's gone through his ritual, of course.”

You glanced around for the boy in question and were surprised to see a well-built boy scowl and walk up to join his mother. Your father looked him up and down, weighing his potential. “You assume much. My own daughter is soon to be known as the best.”

Understanding the role that you had to play from the tone in his voice, you picked your nails and glared up at the female with such intensity that you could have sworn she nearly took a step back. You made a point to glare only at her, and not her offspring - it wasn't as though he wanted to be here, before your family. “Well, how about a demonstration?” The female was not about to give up. “A demonstration of your daughter's strength. I'm sure that it would hardly be a match for my son's.”

Your uncle let out a snarl and grabbed your arm, forcing you to stay sitting down. “Is this a challenge for Y/N L/N?”

“Indeed it is,” the female laughed, stepping back to allow her son to have your attention. Your uncle glared at you, nodding his head, and you stood up. You stalked down the hall to meet Orion where he stood, and walked around him a few times. His brown hair was nothing like his mother’s – it was shining and wildly curly, and matched his warm brown eyes. They were framed with such thick lashes that you even felt a little jealous. For a moment, everything was alright. Then you realized that you’d been staring at him for far too long. You caught the eyes of your father and mother, watching you like a... well, like a titan would watch a human. You met their gaze and bowed your head, showing your respect. They'd beat you otherwise. 

“Are you going to fight me?” Orion said with his voice strong. You looked at him, and let him see an amused smile. 

“You, Orion, are not the one who issued a challenge.”

And with that, your arm whipped out to grab the ebony-haired female's throat, your nails digging into her flesh. She hardly had a chance to scream before you threw her bodily across the carpet, her dress already tearing and showing her leggings beneath her skirts. You'd already seen it, of course. You'd known that she could fight.

You dove after her, with all of the agility of a bird. You gripped her arm, bending it with just enough force to make her scream, and drive your hand down. To some, it would seem like you were tearing her skirts off where it was attached to her bodice. But then you tore out the hidden knives, their wicked edges gleaming in the light, and smiled. Twin daggers were rare for a titan to wield.

Leaving her on the floor, you walked up to your family and laid the knives at their feet and bowed. You saw the grim satisfaction on your father's face in particular, and knew that there was something else you had missed. You barely had a chance to turn before the black-haired wreck flung herself at you with her claws outstretched, aiming for your neck.

You were prepared to take the blow, raising your fists so that you could easily punch her lights out. Then there was a blur of light brown hair, and then you saw Orion standing over the female that had called herself his mother as she sprawled across the floor, having deflected the blow for you.

The boy turned and met your amused eyes, his own lighting up with something akin to happiness. Then he bowed low.

“Thank you, Princess.” He said simply. 

Your cousin muttered something under his breath and your father was looking at you carefully, as though he was deciding what to do with you. Orion passed you the twin daggers that you had won from his mother, and so you inclined your head. It was the duty of the princess for the royal family of the titans to act respectful. 

Because that was what you were.

A princess for the race of disgusting beasts that called themselves titans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert mad screaming*
> 
> I've been waiting to reveal this for AGES, oh my god, it's been wild. What do you guys think of Orion? What's Isabel hiding? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BEING THE TITAN PRINCESS (plot twist, I named this story so that you'd deliberately be mislead, hell yeah)
> 
> But yes, I thought I'd update sooner. We're getting slightly closer to the end, and although I'm working on the second story within the series that this is going to be, I really really REALLY wanted to share this with you sooner. So the next update might be a little later, might be on time... Who knows.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed - leave a comment telling me what you think and everything, I'm super excited to read them.


	25. Chapter 25 - The Confession

You were good at pretending that this was what you lived for.

You flipped yourself down the spiral stairs of the boy dormitory, the time needed to run down the stairs too long and delicate. The rush of air and the view of the floor rushing to meet you spurred you on – as you landed, you dropped into a roll that sent a thrill of pain down your muscles, but you gritted your teeth. You were an assassin; you could handle this. 

As you dashed around the rooms, looking for something – anything - it was easy to digress back into your routine. A teacher was dead; a murder had been committed. This was your job, and you had to do it before the others got there. It would serve Isabel right, thinking that you weren't capable of this. Maybe you two had just been apart for too long. Maybe it was the fact that you'd almost died too many times, or that you’d both realized that there were very real flaws in the other. 

You let yourself think those lies, just to preoccupy yourself. Somewhere, the Seven Deadly Sins were running around without you and trying to solve the little game by themselves. In a different situation, you’d be back in the rooftop garden, letting them run around. Currently, however, there was a general sense of unease around the notion of letting someone else do the job. You'd just woken up on the roof of the school, surrounded by flowers and darkness, and just craved a bit of your normal life.

You didn't let yourself think about him, the titan boy. You filled your thoughts with useless rambling, with the information that was right in front of you. 

The boy's Dorms were empty; your footsteps were the only ones racing down the corridors. They were all outside, with their teams, trying to figure out just where the killer would hide the body. But you already knew where; now, you just needed to know who.

You recounted your memories, searching for information that maybe you'd missed.

When you'd woken up, the moon had been high in the sky and you'd known that it was nearly midnight. You'd gone to stand near the edge of the roof, looking out above the grounds that would soon be crawling with students and their teams. Then there had been the movement that had instantly caught your attention.

Down on the ground, which you could easily see thanks to you being on the roof, a person was hiding in the bushes. They had a black cloak, which made the student seem like nothing more than shadow at first. But then the person fidgeted, the cold and uncomfortable position obviously making them want to shift just a bit, just a little. They'd thought that they were safe, hidden from sight among the bushes where no one could see them. That mistake was going to get them into trouble. So when the bell had rung, you'd already been running through the grounds. Your own clothes were damp from sleeping outside, but you could hardly care as you climbed into the boy's Dorm through a foolishly unlocked window. 

You stumbled, the memory stilling your legs. ‘Found it!’ Your mind sang. Turning around, you retraced your steps back to the room that you'd come in through. It was on the first floor; you had had to resort to first climbing the tree that was conveniently nearby in order to reach it in the first place. 

The room was a mess; when you'd slipped in through the window, you hadn't cared enough to look around. But now you had time. You looked at the bed that had been left unmade, as though it had been left in a hurry. Homework and loose pieces of paper had been strewn across the desk, and drawings were pinned everywhere. The boy was obviously an artist; there were drawings of trees and flowers, of people who must have been his friends in pencil and pen. There were also titans; cloaks clouding around their figure so that they looked like death bringers themselves. He had captured their shapeless figure, the foreboding shadow that hung underneath the hood. It was strange, you thought, to see that a second year had already had enough experience with titans to be able to draw them in that much detail. 

One drawing in particular caught your attention. It had been crumpled up several times, so the creases had marred the lines of pencil making up the picture. You picked it up and pulled out each of the corners, making the creases disappear slightly. It showed an empty sky, with several rocks making up the ground. You frowned, wondering why the artist would draw this. Looking closer, you realized what you had missed.

Those weren't rocks; they were titans. The foremost one was the one that looked the most daunting; that titan was the leader. Anyone who looked at the picture could know that; he was the one at the front, the most defined. The sword at his side was -

You blinked. The sword - you knew that sword as well as you knew the twin daggers that were sheathed at your hips. You'd recognize it anywhere; even from the pencil drawing of a second year. 

Yes, you knew your father’s sword very well indeed.

You picked up a phone that you had swiped from someone as they rushed past you a while ago, trying to reach their team in a rush to find the body. Dialling the one number that had been programmed onto it, you braced yourself for the oh-so-familiar deep voice.

“Hello, student. I want a name, a weapon and the location of the body.”

“Gustav, a knife that was stolen at dinner, and hidden underneath the flower boxes of the school… Fifth one, on the right.”

You waited for the next words that you must have heard twenty times before. “That's correct, student. Three out of three. What is your team name?”

“I'm not with a team,” you said, pleasure at guessing now making you smile a tiny bit. 

“You assume that I care. What is the name?”

You sighed. “Pride. That's the name - Pride.”

The phone disconnected, and the bell rang to signal all of the other students to return to their Dorms. You took one glance around the room, looking at all of drawings. It was the drawings that had given his name away, his signature in the bottom right of each page. And no idiot would leave their window unlocked in the middle of the game; not when the murderer could just as easily creep in and murder a student instead. That had been the hint that you'd needed. 

The shadow that you'd seen had dropped the knife on the ground a few minutes before the bell sounded. The clatter of the silverware on the stone steps had alerted you to just what exactly the student had used to kill the poor teacher that he'd left in the bushes, all but invisible in the dark night. As they'd bent down to pick it up, their cloak had parted just enough that you could see white trousers beneath the black material. Girls weren't permitted to where trousers whilst in the school uniform, a rule that all but Hanji obeyed. So you'd instantly known that it had been a boy.

You took one last look at the picture, and decided to wait to see how Gustav would disappear. Would he come to his room first? Could you talk to him? Or would he just not come back at all?

You sat yourself on the floor so that your head had a comfortable rest against his mattress, facing the door. You'd already closed it, but you could still hear the footsteps of all of the other boys coming back to their rooms.

“That was a quick one, wasn't it?”

“Only took fifteen minutes,” the answering grumble came. “It wasn't worth me getting out of bed.”

“It never is,” another voice chimed in, their voices carrying down the entirety of the corridor. “It's always those stupid first years with the obnoxious name, or that stupid Team Freedom in our year.”

“Should we even bother trying?”

“Yes, you idiots! Imagine our punishments for not even getting out of bed! We could be chosen for next week or something!”

The voices faded into the background. They didn't bother you much; there was nothing for the strong to say to the weak. If they wanted to make good use of their time, they should dedicate it to becoming better, to be able to step up and face people like those within your team with the said obnoxious name. 

You waited, hoping that Gustav would come back soon. You just needed one minute to talk to him, to hear how he knew about that sword. But the tiredness called to you from the black emptiness of your mind, and slowly, slowly...

You gave yourself into sleep.

***

Three years ago:

“You're not even trying,” your instructor spat, showing off his sharpened teeth. You bit down on your disgust; if you displayed attitude now, you'd get hell for it. Once again, you drew your bow. Tensing your stomach muscles, which had already started to strain and tighten, you drew yourself up to take aim. The arrow was notched just right, and you pulled the string back with calloused fingers so that your knuckles just grazed your cheek. You were good at archery; the five arrows all being within the red and yellow circles could attest to that. But it wasn't like swordplay, where you could turn to fluid and grace. This was about precision and patience and tasting the wind.

You let the arrow fly, watching the slim stick whip through the air and hit the target. You held your breath as you waited for your instructor to react - it had missed bulls-eye. Again. Perfection was the only thing that was accepted in the titan's training; at archery, perfection was the one thing that you couldn't give.

Hearing the whistle of a fist approaching, you ducked. The instructor's fist whizzed just past your head, with a force that told you that you were very lucky to be conscious. You scrambled away, knowing that the fact that you had ducked was going to cost you. You were right; the instructor was snarling in rage, and he was looming over you with a fury that would make an ordinary girl cry out in fear.

Silence descended upon the training grounds. You weren't the only ones here; there were children everywhere, being trained in the art of spears and martial arts. You couldn't help but flush in shame. You were these children's princess, and you couldn't hit one single bulls-eye?

Over in the swords area, the new boy - Orion - stood up and looked you right in the eye. He'd been getting a telling off too, you saw, as his instructor raised a sword and threatened to use the very move that he'd been trying to master on him. Your uncle had told your father to take the boy in, and leave his mother to some other family. You hadn't seen him around very much; he kept himself to himself.

But now he raced over to where you were on the floor, where your instructor was standing over you with his foot raised. He was going to kick your face in, and if you didn't yield to this punishment then the next one would only be worse. Orion reached you, and he tugged your bow out of your clutching hands. He drew it and aimed it within milliseconds at your instructor's face, a deadly aim. He was a warrior, through and through.

But he'd forgotten his own instructor, who was now only inches away from stabbing Orion in the back. Without thinking, you grabbed the sword that Orion had dropped a few inches away, and whirled so that the blade parried the sword swung by the instructor. 

“Thank you, Princess,” Orion laughed under his breath.

You didn't know what to say. You were back to back, defending against two fully grown adult titans. “Can you shoot that thing?”

“Indeed I can. Can you fight with that thing?”

You looked down at the sword. It was dull and poorly balanced, but you were the best when it came to swordplay. Every dirty trick was within your skills, and in this world that was all that was needed. “Just you watch,” you smirked, and then you moved.

You moved, he moved. It was perfect synchronization; perfectly matching each other. Orion shot his arrows at the bulls-eye that you’d been missing, hitting it without a second thought. He then fired at all of the other targets in the area, letting the arrows fly into their centres fluidly. At his movement, you readied yourself and defended his back, parrying the slices of the attacking titan and deflecting them wildly, allowing his anger to work against him. 

All too soon, your teachers were stepping back with anger riding in their eyes – but defeat in the way that they were breathing sharply, their fingers curling threateningly around their respective weapons. You merely stood still, holding the sword in a defensive position, knowing that Orion still had an arrow notched at his fingertips. You were together - you with your sword, him with his bow. A slow clap began in the corner of the courtyard, and you flinched mentally as you saw your uncle as he stepped out of the shadows, the sarcastic clap warning you. 

But somehow, even as the growing sense of danger came closer with every angry step that your uncle made, you knew it would be okay. Because no matter what, you knew what that snarky boy would say afterwards.

“Thank you, Princess.”

***

Sunlight.

That was the first thing that you noticed as soon as you woke up. At first, you squinted around in confusion; unfamiliar walls surrounded you, and your body was bent awkwardly into the sitting position with your back against a bed that wasn’t your own.

Then you remembered Gustav, and how you were waiting for him to come in through the door. Except he hadn’t come in; you would have woken up instantly otherwise. But now sunlight was peeking through the curtains that had been left opened when you’d climbed through them. It was already morning, and the young artist had not come back.

You stood up and stretched, your muscles complaining at the odd position in which you had slept. A piece of paper slipped from your pocket and fell in a swaying pattern towards the floor, the quiet landing one of the loudest things that you'd ever heard. A different sort of feeling took over your bones, a cold and uncomfortable ice that crept into your veins.

An image that somehow had slipped from your memory suddenly swam in front of your eyes, and you flinched at Franz's ruined face as he peeked through the prison bars at you. You remembered his ruined face and how that hollowness never really left his eyes, even when he'd launched himself in front of that blade to save you. You owed Franz one more favour for that, and you'd be damned if you let that favour slip away, forgotten and unpaid. 

The next thing that you knew, you were stalking down the corridor and doing your best to act like you'd just had the best sleep in the world; it was surprisingly difficult, you realized, biting down on a yawn. Approaching a door that you now saw with a wash of dread, you looked quickly around to check that no one was coming.

Farlan's door was shut and locked, but you knew that Levi's room would be very close. Their relationship was almost like yours and Isabel's; it was only natural for them to be close to each other. So you made quick work of finding his room, crossing the corridor and checking all of the doors that were within three doors of Farlan's. You smirked as you found it, the door that had been polished harshly enough to gleam. You took a deep breath to prepare yourself - dramatic entrances were always your favourite art form.

Picking the lock with a hairpin, you bit your lip as you heard the tiny click. Was Levi like you, able to awake within a moment's notice? You hoped not. Stepping back and surveying the now-unlocked door, you grinned.

And kicked it in.

The force of it caused the door to swing magnificently back on its hinges, creating a huge bang. You winced - you'd forgotten that you were hoping to be quiet. But a figure was already up and in your face, snarling and advancing on you with upraised fists. Ignoring this, you nimbly hopped into Levi's room and swung the door closed again, cushioning the closing snap with as much force as you could muster. After it had closed, you turned and found a very tired Levi only five feet from you.

“Where the hell have you been?” Levi spat, the bags under his eyes looking only more prominent because of his pale face. You fluttered your eyelashes sarcastically, placing your hands on your hips. 

“Oh, you know. The usual.”

“The usual?” He snapped, not taking in your joking tone for one second. Pouting at his grumpy mood - although it was most likely well deserved, given the way that you'd entered - you decided to play for a little longer. But only a little; you had a mission.

“Yes, the usual. Sneaking, lying, kidnapping... It was an eventful night.”

Levi paled even further, making his eyes seem huge within his pointed face. “You - you were the –“

The school hadn't made the announcement yet; that would happen on Monday. But seeing Levi's frightened stare made you uncomfortable. It was like he'd guessed that you were going to be out that night. “Of course I was the one!” You crowed. “Who else?”

“And you escaped?” He choked, immediately crossing to the window and yanking the curtains even more closed so that even less light could get in. You frowned, finally realizing that something was off. His words didn't compute with you. They didn't make sense. 

“I don't understand - what?”

“You were the murderer last night, weren't you?” Levi said, his voice shaking. “I can't believe that even you would do it...”

“Hey, back up. I wasn't the murderer!” You said, incredulous. “Where'd you even get that idea?”

Grey eyes met yours with an iciness that would have made Annie proud. “You were gone from the hospital last night, when you shouldn't have been. Then you didn't turn up anywhere all night, when someone guessed all three answers and the bell rang... I thought you'd been chosen as the murderer... I thought you'd been taken...”

You pulled yourself up so that you were taller. “I decided that I was more than well enough to play the game,” you said, your own tone frosty. “And so I played, and I won.”

“You weren't the murderer?”

“No,” you said, taken aback by the relief in Levi's eyes. “I guessed him, though - as if that wasn't obvious enough.”

Levi sighed and fell back onto his bed. You understood his actions now; he was so tired because he had stayed up all night worrying about you and whether or not you'd been taken. “What did you mean when you said... When you said that you couldn't believe that even I would do it?”

“I meant what I said.” Levi said shortly. You stilled. Was he disgusted by those who actually chose to kill a teacher every Friday? Was he, even for a short while, disgusted by you? 

“Whatever,” you breathed, snapping yourself free of those thoughts. Now wasn't the time for getting scared because of your feelings; it was the time for paying back a debt owed. “I need your help.”

“You don't deserve it. Not after what you put me through.”

Okay then. You glared at him, finally allowing some very real fire to trickle into your gaze. “I'll do it with or without you. At least if you come then you'll now that I'm safer.”

The warning struck home. Levi swallowed. “What if I make you not go at all?”

“Are you threatening me, Levi Ackerman?”

“It sounded like you were threatening me yourself, Y/N L/N.”

You both stuck your chins up in the air, your combined pride impossible to work against. “You can't stop me,” you spat, turning on your heel and stalking your way back to the door. “You'll never stop me.” Your senses were both crooning and screaming - he was worried about you. He wanted to protect you. But then your every trained sense screamed that you didn't need protection, that you just wanted an extra sword.

“I've bested you once,” Levi replied, stepping in front of you smoothly. “What makes you think that I cannot do it again?”

You laughed, easily stepping around him and opening the door. Thankfully, slamming doors appeared to be a common happening in the boy's Dorm because no one had come to investigate the source of the bang earlier. “Don't test me,” you said, the anger evident in your tone. “I'm going to the prison and you will never be able to stop me.”

“The prison?” Levi repeated, and you bit your lip at the hidden current of emotion that Levi tried to hide. No matter how much you acted like you were invincible, you'd thought that you would die down there. He'd witnessed that, had heard what would have been your last scream. Of course it would leave scars on the both of you.

But you kept walking. The plan was simple; break into the prison, find Gustav and break him out. Hopefully, somewhere along the way you could ask him about his drawings, how he knew your father's sword well enough to draw it in such detail. You didn't hear footsteps behind you, and a dark feeling cloaked your heart as you contemplated what that meant.

Maybe he truly was disgusted by you, by the fact that he'd thought you had murdered a human - not a titan, but an actual human. If he fell to that conclusion as quickly as he did, then it was probable that he'd always believed you of a feat like that. In Levi's head, killing a human and killing a titan were two totally different things. Titans were beasts to be feared and disgusted.

It only scared you. If he knew, even for one second, of whom you were to titans... He might even kill you. Just one second to consider where to stab you, and then another to quickly place his blade on your neck. That's all it would take for Levi to kill you, the princess of titans. 

You hadn't thought of your past for ages. Building a wall around those memories kept them from your dreams and nightmares, and it had worked so spectacularly for a while. But when you snarled and hissed, that was totally your instincts kicking in, making you twist your voice in beastly ways. Thinking back on how often you snarled, it was a wonder that no one really suspected what you were.

Your file didn't cover that. There was no way in hell that they'd even consider letting you live if they knew about you, your family or your crown. They only let you live despite your scar because of that day...

No. You firmly closed your mind to that thought, keeping that wall up safe. Reaching up with a hand, you pulled the collar of your shirt down and glanced at the now familiar tattoo stretching across your S/C skin. You recognized it now, thanks to all of your memories and dreaming presenting themselves to you in such vivid detail. The tattoo was the symbol of the first family, the family that had sworn to protect yours. You couldn't remember the faces behind the family; maybe because you were too young, or you had been terrified inside. But why was their mark on your skin? Why was it on Annie's?

A hand suddenly slipped onto your shoulder as you made your way up the path to the school, the fresh air helping to make your mind a bit clearer. You merely tightened your jaw and shrugged the hand off, stalking your way away from Levi who looked at you like he wanted to kill you.

“Don't go, brat.”

“Don't bother me right now.”

“You're going into the prison. Why?”

“I have some questions that I need answered,” you flounced, tossing your head in a way that you knew he hated. “And I'll only find them in that pit of hell.”

“I don't want to stop you... But you nearly di-“

“I know perfectly well what happened down there, thank you very much. And believe me, it won't happen again.” You carried on walking, before tugging open the double doors into the school. Turning on your heel and walking straight to the library, you ignore the second years that were hanging around the corridors laughing and enjoying their weekend. It had been too long since you all had had one; three weeks in the city, before one week back at school. You couldn't bring yourself to smile, however, as a very determined second year was right on your heels as you made your way towards the hidden door behind the bookcase.

“If I can't stop you... Then I'll just have to help you.” Levi softly brooded, opening the secret door for you. You smirked at him, before looking at the darkening staircase in front of you both. Glancing around, checking for people looking at you, you took one step onto the stairs and felt your knees weaken. “Y/N... Let me go first.”

It was a sign of how much fear you held of this place that you didn't argue as the raven-haired male stepped in front of you, closing the door behind him. Candles that were weakly alive tried their best to illuminate the mossy dungeon, but they were failing abysmally. You couldn't help it; you stepped down quicker so that you were at Levi's side, the warm body beside you comforting you more than anything else. Your cold hand slipped weakly into his, your hand instantly clutching the support at your side. Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw Levi look at you and see how your fear had driven your eyes to widen and dart around uncontrollably. 

He understood; you felt his hand squeeze yours tightly as you got further and further down into the unforgiving dark. You took a gasping breath in, remembering that your lungs needed air to function more than you needed the absolute stillness. It was a blessing when you and Levi encountered the guards at the bottom of the staircase, guarding the first door.

Their laughter hung behind you as you both quickly slipped past all of them to take the door that was further down, telling you that it was not impossible to laugh in this wretched place. Levi never let go of your hand until you reached the door and unlocked it, using the key that you had swiped off of the guard's belt one floor up. 

The smell was the first thing that hit you, a wave of warm air infused with blood and rotting flesh. Wrinkling up your nose naturally, you giggled slightly as you saw Levi's absolute repulsion. 

“I hadn't even realized the state of this shit-hole,” he breathed, his eyes shining as he surely contemplated all of the things that he would do if he were armed with a bucket, water and a mop.

“No!” You weakly played along, glad that he was being just as strong as ever. “How could you not see the dirt? Are you quite insane?”

“Well, forgive me.” Levi snapped, glancing around at the empty cells. “I was too busy trying to save this stupid-ass girl.”

“I have no clue what you are on about,” you told him, your wits finally starting to creep back into place. “Nor whom, I might add.”

“I might as well crown you the princess of stupidity, in that case” Levi muttered as you neared the end of the corridor. He didn't notice as you froze slightly, images unbidden creeping behind your eyelids. Seeing the water on the floor, probably courtesy of the moss, you opened your mouth to warn Levi.

But it was too late; he had already slipped, his shoe sliding along the floor in a fast whip of action. Rather than waste time, you flung yourself forward and caught his waist securely. With the two of you together, Levi finally regained his balance and gently guided your hands away from his hips, a smirk playing on his mouth.

“Thank you, Princess.”

You tried not to blanch at his words. They hit home, and suddenly you didn't see Levi smirking sarcastically at you but a different face, with brown hair instead of raven. Levi didn't seem to notice that your face suddenly tightened, the blood rushing from it and leaving a paler colour than before. He just dismissed your silence as fear of the prison as he began to lead the way through the twisting corridors.

Shaking your head and hoping that the sickening movement snapped you out of it, you follow him into the dark depths of the dungeon. For a while, there was no sound except the echoing of your footsteps on the damp cobblestone floors, but then Levi seemed to sense that there was something more subdued about you than usual. He shortened his steps so that you had no choice but to walk alongside him than behind him, and you felt his piercing gaze on your face.

“How do you know your way around here so well?” You murmured, not wanting your voice to carry too far into the shadows of the cells. “You seem to know exactly where we're going.”

“Have you not ever wondered how the titans get in here?” Levi asked, and glanced left and right as though there was going to be another person insane enough to venture here. “It's the SO's job to transport any titans foolish enough to attack the school into these cells.”

“But why? Why have titans down here at all? Doesn't it pose security risks?”

Levi blinked, assessing your questions. “Research, of course. I'll give you three guesses as to who conducts the experiments.”

“Research?” You echoed disbelievingly, ignoring his subtle reference to Hanji. What sort of research could they be conducting?

“We knew there was something biologically different about them,” Levi said, his eyes not moving away from the floor. “But now that you've told us more about it, we now know where to start looking.”

“For what?” You asked, your tone now becoming dangerously impudent. “What are you hoping to find? Regret and compassion? A cure?”

Levi's lack of an answer practically screamed it. They were looking for a cure, to reverse the effect of the surgery. The back of your neck prickled, as though remembering the small scar there. You snorted, letting Levi hear your derisiveness from that, and followed him as he took a left at the end of the long line of cells. “As someone from a titan family, I wouldn't expect you to understand.”

You felt yourself whirling and slapping Levi, your hand whipping across his cheek. Levi didn't look stunned; just quietly arrogant, not backing down from your frightening glare. “How dare you,” you spat, fury destroying all coherent thoughts. “You know nothing about me.”

“I know plenty,” Levi disagreed. “I know that you're an insane, brilliant liar. I know that you're impossibly fast on your feet, and that you prefer daggers over a bow and arrow. I know that your favourite colour is F/C, and that you love Isabel dearly. I know that you secretly like Jean and his ridiculousness and that your favourite flowers are F/F.”

“And yet you have the damn nerve to insult me like that?” You glared at him, an aura of anger emitting from you in waves. “What do you know about my time with that family? Nothing. You know absolutely nothing.”

You stalked away, but unfortunately there weren't many options for making a grand exit and slamming the door. So you satisfied yourself with splashing in the puddles of water as loudly as possible, leaving Levi behind - even if it was just a few meters behind.

“On the contrary, I know quite a lot.”

You sighed through your nose, warning him that if he continued, there'd be hell to pay. You couldn't believe that after everything that you'd two had been through, he was attacking you like this. At least with a physical blow, you knew how to handle it, how to counter it. But with a battle of information and wits, you were lagging behind with threatening information.

“I know that there are such horrors that you experienced there, that you're still having nightmares about them now. I know that there is so much more to that scar on your neck than you ever thought to tell us.”

You kept walking, even as your legs felt more like jelly than muscle and bone. Your nightmares, for one, were awful. You couldn't help but see how you were whipped for not being as good as swordplay as you were with the martial arts, or how the eyes of the officials followed you with wicked, hungry gazes. Maybe you'd cried out, and that's how Isabel had obviously told Levi about it. 

“And I know, without a doubt, that you can easily transcend into a monster.”

Those words sent a chill down your spine, as though a clawed finger of ice was raking itself down your flesh. You didn't bother to deny it, not when you both knew it was true. The way that you so often lost yourself in a fight, in the blood-lust and gore and killing... If that wasn't the picture of a monster, then you struggled to come up with an image that would fit. But for Levi to say that to you... You knew that he'd seen behind all of your carefully put together masks, behind that impossible swagger that you possessed. He'd seen the monster.

“And more than any of that,” Levi continued, and you winced at his voice. Why couldn't you tell him to be quiet? Why weren't you making him be quiet? “More than any of that, and so many more reasons as to why I should be wary of you, that I should be disgusted and hate you, I know that I... That I think that I may be in love with you.”

 

 

There was such silence in your head. It was as though Levi's words had punched you in the gut, and then in your lungs, and then in your throat. 

‘I think that I may be in love with you.’

Words had such power. Power rippled through those words, and ripped through your shreds of sanity. 

“Love is weak, Y/N.”

You stood in your mother's bedroom. Your mother was standing before her window, her sharp claws scratching along the stone window ledge. You tried to not look at her with startled eyes, not when that was a sure sign of your fear. It would not do to look at the Queen with doe-eyed terror. 

“Love is just a word, do you understand?”

“Yes,” you said. It stunned your young self that one word could hold such a lie. You loved a lot of things; you loved the grass and colours and smells. You loved it when someone complimented your fighting, instead of beating you and insulting numerous things about your grip, your footwork or your style. 

“Do you love me, Y/N?”

You stood, shocked at your mother's words. She looked at you with sharp M/E/C eyes, and her M/H/C hair seemed to drift like tendrils around her head. A crown of silver rested on top of her head, shining from the light that entered through the window. Her body was clothed in a red gown of beautiful velvet, showing to all that she was The Lady of them all. The Queen did not fight in wars, but kept the King in check. 

“Well? Do you?”

Chaos was writhing in your head. You knew what the right answer was, the correct one that your mother wanted to hear. You could imagine your lips shaping the word 'no' and having to twist your face into a sneer so that she'd believe you, and she'd feel better knowing that her only daughter wasn't weak. But there was such a longing in your heart to say the truth.

Of course you loved your mother. Wasn't it inevitable? Although your family made it near impossible to love them, your little child-like heart couldn't help it. These were your blood and flesh; they were the ones that would be at your side for your entire life. You loved her cold beauty and her cool fingers as they touched your forehead. You loved the way that she looked at your father. It wasn't with love, but it was with something powerful and immortal and beautiful. 

“Yes, Mother.”

The Queen sighed. “You knew that was the wrong answer.”

“Yes, Mother.”

“And yet you still gave it.”

You nodded weakly, expecting a violent retribution or harsh words. But your mother merely sighed again and looked out of the window to the courtyard below. The humans who had owned this mansion had been wealthy, but wealth made them blind to the threats that lingered just beyond the woods of their property - threats that had been your family. “You are still a human, Y/N, and so I suppose it was foolish to expect a titan answer.”

“Is being human bad?” You asked, your childish curiosity forgetting who you were talking to and blurting out the question. The Queen fixed you with a piercing gaze that held nothing but contemplation.

“The answer to that question depends on whom, exactly, you ask.”

“What about love, mother? Is love bad, if it makes you weak?”

“Love is weak and easily broken,” your mother said, and you shivered at her cool tone. “And in that respect, it most certainly is not profitable. You cannot allow yourself to be weak for a thing such as love, not when you need to be strong.”

“So it's not good?”

The titan Queen looked at you, her own daughter, and smiled slightly. “That is yet another question that depends on who you ask. But I want you to promise me something, right now. I want you, when someone says that they love you, to kill them for it. Cut them out of your life. You don't need that weakness, Y/N. You need only to be strong.”


	26. Chapter 26 - The King

I think that I may be in love with you.

You weren't sure of where you were anymore. Vaguely, you knew that you were still walking in a lonely and dark prison corridor, but then those words would echo around your mind and wreck any thoughts that you had. Levi - the strong, unbreakable and stubborn Levi - had said the words that you'd never expected to hear in your life…. Ever.

“Who are you? What do you want?”

The desperate huff of breath behind those words was what finally brought you back down to the earth. Gustav's face peered through the bars of the prison, his school uniform wrecked and dirty, and you blinked at him before realizing that Levi was waiting for you to speak to him.

“Rather ordinary questions, aren't they?” You said, letting your impudence fool Levi into thinking that you were fine, that you were not thrown by his words. “You know who I am. As to what I want... I want information.”

“I know how this plays out,” Gustav says, his eyes darting from Levi to you, “I give you the information and you don't kill me, right?”

“That sounds just fine,” you say, crossing your arms.

“I'll die anyway, locked away in here. I'll probably starve myself if I have to stay in here a day longer, and if I'm strong enough to do that, then I'm strong enough to not tell you the answers that you want.”

“So you want us to break you out instead of not killing you?” Levi said flatly.

“Someone went and freed that first year from a few months ago, and so I'll guess that you can do it with me now.”

“And in return,” you say, working out the consequences and damning them to hell, “you'll give me the answers that I want?”

“Indeed I will,” Gustav said, a mean smile rising to his lips. Despite the lovely drawings of meadows and lakes in his room, you found that you really disliked this artist. 

“Fine,” you said, slipping your hand into your pocket and drawing out the crumpled bit of paper. “What's this?”

“Where did you get that?” Gustav instantly became angry, his eyes becoming narrow and scalding in its gaze. You let go of a lengthy breath through your nose as you gave him a look. “Right, I know where you got it. Why the hell were you in my room? In the boy's Dorm's?”

Levi sent you a glare; he'd obviously thought that you'd just gone into the Dorms in order to find him. Sending him a lazy smile back, you harden your gaze at Gustav. “I saw you hiding that teacher's body, idiot. I knew instantly who you were and wanted to investigate more.” The lies came naturally. “I didn't know anything about you; what weapons you prefer, or what your favourite style of martial arts is... So I needed to find out.”

“And then you stole one of my drawings,” Gustav spat. 

“Indeed I did,” you smirked, drawing out the words with such arrogance that even Levi looked impressed. “But you... You've seen this sword before?”

“Well, obviously!” The artist said, raising his eyebrows in sheer indignation. 

“Where?”

The short word was enough to send him into a startled silence. Levi glanced at you with a pointed glare, hearing your flat fury behind that one word. “I... My village was attacked by a huge gathering of titans... They must have had at least two hundred trained soldiers from the way that we were wrecked.”

“And yet you survived,” Levi said, with the ire tone that suggested that Gustav's survival was indeed a shame.

“I survived by sheer luck.” Gustav said, raising his chin as though luck mattered to his pride. “They struck in the early morning, whilst it was still dark. I'd awoken early for some reason, and I was out caring for the horses when they came.” He took a shuddering breath before continuing. “They didn't announce themselves with the usual yelling of beasts. It was only the screams of my neighbours that altered everyone to the fact that we were under attack. I... I was already in the stables... I managed to grab a horse. I was riding away as fast as I could, but I looked back just as the titans had finished their slaughter. It was that quick - over and done with within twenty minutes. That's what I saw, when I looked back - that drawing.”

Gustav looked at you expectantly, as though he were seriously expecting you to just pop open the cell door and let him go merrily into freedom. But disgust twisted your mouth into a sneer. “You ran? You fled without trying to rescue anyone, without trying to fight?”

“I was young and didn't know how to fight,” Gustav said incredulously. “If I had tried, it would have only meant that I would have died too.”

Levi reached in front of you and picked the lock to Gustav's cell, letting the second year scuttle free. He didn't bother with a goodbye; neither did you or Levi. Seeing your stunned look, Levi shrugged. “We did say that we'd break him out of his cell.”

“But he's a coward.”

“He’s a coward that we promised to break out of the cell.” Levi held out his hand to you, and you looked at him closely before you took it. “Why were you so interested in his drawing?”

“That sword... I just thought I'd seen it before.” If Levi had the guts to call you an insane, brilliant liar, then you might as well prove it to him. Truth and lies... Just as you had always been trained to do. 

But you still felt bad with not telling him...

‘I think that I may be in love with you.’

***

You hadn't slept much in two days.

The exhaustion had flown in on swift wings, sluggishly claiming and slowing your razor sharp battle reflexes; you had seen the effects that very afternoon, when Annie had beaten you - albeit for the first time - within just a few minutes of karate. You'd landed in the dust, somewhere that you'd never even imagined that you'd be planted, and had choked on the sharp impact. There was an impressive blue bruise blooming on the entire left side of your thigh, where most of the pain was still centred.

The moon was arising now, and you were sitting on top of the wall that long ago, you had climbed. You'd climbed it thinking that every step was a risk - Levi and Farlan could have turned around and pushed you at any given time. You had concentrated merely on the threats, as you had always been trained to do, and not on the enjoyment of being up high with wind and birds. But now you were alone; you'd let your H/L hair free and let the wind playfully ruffle it, placing your fingers and feet in the smooth wood of the tree. 

Your legs were dangling over the side, your feet swinging idly in the night air. It wasn't quite cold yet; the wind died and danced frequently, but never with force. The silence comforted you; it told you that whilst there was no laughter, there was no screaming either. You'd had enough of screaming for a while.

It had also only been one day since you and Levi had freed Gustav and had crept back to the prison's door in utter silence. The tension was the only thing that screamed, and you had bitten your lip so harshly in that short time that the metallic tang of its taste filled your dry mouth. You hadn't seen the raven haired male since. But try as you might, you didn't miss him.

You couldn't miss him.

Not when he wasn't really away. He was there in your mind, his words prowling around private thoughts and whispering the same words that you'd now hear everywhere. ‘I think I may be in love with you.’ You hadn't expected it; not in the least. You were everything that Levi wanted to take out from the world; you were couldn't be tamed or broken, which was always a dangerous trait when it came to possessing strength. Strength was only needed if it could be tamed for one side of a war, for one army. 

But which side would be the one that used your strength?

That was probably the very question that Erwin was having such a hard time trying to answer. With your heritage, it probably seemed to Erwin that there was a chance that you'd prefer to help your family rather than humans when the war hit. You snarled out loud, the sound carrying in the slight wind. Then you caught yourself and allowed your irritation to be swallowed.

The course of your future just didn't seem clear to you. It wasn't as though you had one set in stone, but you had roughly predicted the course of it, winding quite cleanly through life. You'd eradicated the possibility of a partner quite early in the scheme of things. Having a person beside you just seemed like a weakness, something that you'd have to protect and waste energy on. 

But Levi was more than that. How many times had he rescued you now? You'd lost count of the number of times that he'd saved you, proving to you many times that he was anything but a weakness. Where you were weak, he made you stronger. And although you could get on your high horse and gloat and smirk and be, you couldn't deny that he... He meant something to you.

There was a tug in your heart that wouldn't allow you to stop thinking about him, to stop reliving the stupid things that he did or said. You remembered him; he was in enough memories that you could smile about. Smiling, you remembered when you'd once chucked a bucket of soapy water right to his face. When he'd just beaten you in a race when he'd been on a horse and you'd been sprinting. When he'd shown you that garden that he'd kept alive, and hadn't even shown Isabel.

“Falling in love is not an option,” you said aloud, hoping your own voice could somehow change your feelings. “He's nothing to me.”

When you'd nearly fallen to over one hundred titans, and had failed Eren, Mikasa and Armin... When he'd literally flown in and saved you, you'd felt your heart skip a beat… Or maybe a hundred. Or when he'd given you a demonstration of what 3DMG could do, and he'd touched your legs and your hips and you'd burned, blushed and hadn't been able to think. 

“Love is weak.”

When he'd nearly hit Farlan for taking you out on a date, because he'd been worried about you and your whereabouts. When he'd set you cleaning jobs because he hadn't wanted the male instructors to ogle you. When he'd climbed a ladder into your room to tell you off for having a sleepover, not even thinking about taking the stairs.

“You are not in love with him, Y/N.”

But you couldn't help but remember the countless times that you'd looked at him, only to find that he'd been looking at you already. The countless times that he'd just been there without speaking all of those times that you'd been in the hospital wing. The lost, honest look in his eyes when he'd admitted that he might have fallen for you. The white hot feeling of his lips on yours in a clash of fury and worry and love.

You were never one for lying to yourself.

“Oh god,” you whispered to the sky, which had just started to lighten up with faint traces of orange and pink creeping up from the horizon. 

“I'm in love with Levi Ackerman.”

 

“The King is important, isn't he?”

You giggled at the ridiculous question and turned to look at Orion, who was only a few inches to your left. It had been years since he'd come to your manor house, keeping his eyes lowered and his body hunched over. But now, you could hardly see him as anything other than how he was now; tall and proud, with brown eyes that looked like they could even make your father smile.

“The King is one of the most important pieces in a game of chess,” you'd replied, looking around. Orion and you had climbed one of the tallest trees in the orchard, watching the sun go down slowly. You'd never hated anything more than that sun right now. It counted down the time until Orion would have to leave you.

Because it was his birthday.

It was time for him to become a titan.

“I think that you're wrong,” Orion answered, and you cast a look at him to see that he was also watching the sun go down. There wasn't any fear on the face that you'd come to know so well; just blankness. You hated that, hated the fact that he was either hiding his fear from you or not feeling anything. “I think it's the Queen.”

“Why?”

“It’s the Queen because she can make the most moves. She's powerful, and she knows it. She's the one that you want to get back, if you make it to the other side. After all, there’s a reason that you’ve basically lost if you lose the Queen.”

You cocked your head at him. “And there is a reason the game ends when the King dies, Orion...”

“Don't. Don't condescend to me, Princess. I'm just a bishop, after all. I'm powerful and all, but I'm not the Queen or King.”

“Don't say that to me!” You cried, tears welling up in your eyes. “You're so much more than that to me... One day I shall be Queen. And I'm telling you, there's no one that I'd rather have guarding my back than my bishop.”

When Orion didn't automatically reply with some sarcastic comment, you grabbed his hand and winced as you found it as cool as ice. “I heard your uncle talking to your father today,” he whispered, and you automatically found a flinch of fear rake its finger down your spine. “They were talking about you – talking about how you had to find a king one day, to rule alongside you. There hasn't been a titan Queen that's ruled on her own for as long as titans have existed.”

“But I don't want a King.” You pouted, your blood singing as the sun sunk slowly behind the hills. “He may be the most important to some people, but I think that he's just someone to protect. He can't fight as well as a bishop can.”

“You'd want a bishop as your king?”

You weren't stupid. You knew what he was really asking. But you raised your chin and smiled at him, a pretty and mindless smile that no one else had seen. You loved Orion; you were sure of that. There wasn't anyone else that you'd rather sit beside you on a throne.

“I’d have him only if he'd want some weak Princess to be his Queen.”

Orion smiled - a delighted smile that melted your heart. Voices started to make themselves heard down the orchard path, coming steadily towards you, calling to the boy beside you. He tensed up, his powerful body taut and strong and scared. 

“Thank you, Princess.”

“You won't change,” you said, the first hint of fear singing in your voice. “You won't change.”

***

You shot awake, your back protesting as you tensed upright. Somehow, you'd fallen asleep as you'd lain back on the wall, your legs still dangling over the wall. The amount of effort that it took to actually blink and recognize where you were told you enough about how little sleep you'd gotten. The sun was just reaching for its space over your head, telling you that you'd only just gotten about six hours of sleep.

But that was plenty, compared to the total number of zero hours you'd gotten the night before.

The neighing of horses commanded your attention next. It was Sunday, so you knew that there shouldn't be any lessons regarding horse riding or anything. And you knew that there hadn't been any planned trips or rides scheduled for today - right?

You ran along the wall, keeping a close eye on what was actually going on within the wall, where all of the horses had been gathered. 

There were about one hundred of them there, all kinds of colours and breeds. They were in the process of being walked towards the gates to the school, by students that were all in their uniform. You suddenly felt very, very wrong. A wave of doubt and fear rushed through your head to your toes, and you bit on your lip again to try and distract yourself from your thoughts that were all suddenly screaming at you.

Had you forgotten something? Were you meant to be down there, leading Skira towards a picnic or something ridiculous like that? Was there a last minute trip?

You shut the thoughts up before you went truly mad. Panting slightly, you'd reached the stairs and flew down them as fast as you could, not caring if you tripped on the weak sandstone that the wall was made out of. The students began forming up just inside the gate, ordering themselves into neat lines on green capes and saddled horses. Your keen eyes didn't miss the assortment of weapons that the students were strapping onto their backs or were sheathing into their saddlebags.

Nor did they miss Farlan and Isabel just two rows in.

You skidded to a halt just beside Isabel, your hand flying out and grabbing Strawberry's saddle for support whilst your legs found that gravity was indeed acting on them.

“Y/N? What are you doing here? Where were you yesterday?”

You winked at Isabel, who rolled her green eyes and stuck her tongue out at you. “I was busy,” you answered shortly. You opened your mouth to start asking the onslaught of questions, but Farlan was too quick for you.

“That's funny,” he said, his eyes sparkling, “because Levi said the same thing when I asked what he was doing yesterday too.”

You growled lowly, adding to Farlan's infinite amusement. “We were both busy with separate stuff,” you spelled out, not entirely sure why you were lying in the first place.

“Oh?” Isabel chimed in, raising her eyebrows and wiggling them at you. “So you both just so happened to disappear at the same time?”

“Yes, precisely.”

“Pack it in,” Farlan laughed. “I saw you leaving the boy's Dorms together.”

You blushed as Isabel's eyes widen in wicked delight, pouncing on you with squeals. “Oh, were you lying, Y/N? So what were you both doing?”

You glare at Farlan half-heartedly, unable to keep a smile from growing on your lips. “I forgot that you lived in the room next to him.”

“It didn't help that you actually slammed his door open for everyone to hear,” Farlan sniped, smirking at you. You laughed, shaking your head in defeat.

“I forgot I did that.”

Isabel cackled, her eyes alight. “You aren't meant to be here, are you? I didn't hear your name called on the register.”

“I... I have no idea what's going on,” you admitted, and then yelped as an arm was suddenly flung around your shoulders.

“I'm surprised that you even admitted to knowing nothing,” Levi drawled, putting his face close to yours. Knowing perfectly well that Isabel and Farlan were gaping at you both, you pushed down your blush and turned your face even closer to him, so that the very tip of your nose traced a line on his cheek.

“Indeed,” you said, keeping your voice low and smooth. Levi's eyes sparked with playful delight before stepping away, probably saving both Isabel and Farlan from having heart attacks. “So are any of you going to tell me what's going on?”

“Nothing much,” Isabel shrugged, tightening Strawberry's straps. “We're just going to scout out the surrounding area, that's all. But we're the ones that were sent home early from the trip, so we're the ones who have to do it.”

“And I have to go because there has to be someone relatively smart somewhere in this group.” Levi added, stepping up to sit himself on his dark horse. “These idiots would just have a picnic otherwise.”

“But it's dangerous! Why are you –“

“Shush up, Y/N!” Isabel laughed, placing her finger on your lips before sitting herself on Strawberry. “We underlings have to have some action; we can't let you do all the dirty work!”

“You heard the small, annoying lady,” Farlan smiled, patting Isabel on her head. “We've got work to do, little assassin. Scoot.”

“Fly back to me,” you told Isabel as she grinned at you from her high horse.

You stepped back just as the gates arose. Isabel turned and mouthed something to you, and waved her hand high above the heads of everyone else as they cantered through the gates and into the titan territory beneath.

As the gate closed, you fell onto the cold, slightly damp ground. It wasn't exactly because you were too tired - you knew that much. Standing wasn't much effort at all.

No.

It was because your heart suddenly felt very, very heavy.

There was a great silence roaring through your head.

Every instinct that you possessed was screaming at you to go, to follow the group that were now out of sight, to protect. And yet you couldn't lift a finger, your body refusing to move as you knelt on the damp grass. Your limbs were just so heavy, and to move them would require effort that you'd stubbornly spent on useless things - like playing the game on Friday, and then breaking Gustav out of his cell.

Stupid, meaningless things. You'd thought that they were so important at the time, and that they couldn't wait another moment without you diving headfirst into the problem without a second thought to the other things that would maybe be more important.

Like the red-haired girl who had just ridden her horse into danger.

Isabel. Isabel Magnolia had just become the steadfast friend, the anchor to your hurricane. She was the cool rock that grounded your furious flame, and you'd loved her for it. When you fought, Isabel was always the person that you'd thought of... She was always the figure of your effort, what you fought for. It was all for Isabel's world and her friends and her life.

Other people had slowly trickled their sorry way into your heart as well, as time slowly crept by. People like Annie, and the rest of your team. Connie and Sasha, who were always doing stupid things that never failed to bring a smirk to your lips; Bertoldt and Reiner, the picture of what brothers should be and act. Annie, who always seemed to know what you were thinking.

And then there were Marco, Jean... And recently, Eren, Mikasa and Armin. And Farlan and Krista and Ymir, and...

Levi. 

None of them would have dared to even breathe around you if it weren't for Isabel's bright presence, the presence that soothed everyone that you couldn't be all bad. You wouldn't have climbed that wall with Levi, or been out on that not-date with Farlan. Everything that you now held dear in your little, iced heart was due to the beacon of happiness who didn't even know how much she meant to you.

And she had left you.

Yes, your heart was very heavy indeed.


	27. Chapter 27 - The Red

{The night of your Y/A birthday}

You ran.

There was no cover here; just grassy plains that dipped and dived into mild hills, with long grass that danced with the wind under the moonlight. No birds sang at this time of the night, where the darkness was too heavy with holding the stars. The world slept, not knowing that a wild eyed girl sprinted for her life, or not caring.

Your boots were sodden and your knees were creaking with the cold. You hadn't had the time to get dressed into proper gear, so your thin leggings and tunic were not doing much to hide you from the cold's keen grasp. But you couldn't care about that now; every whisper of the wind had you believing that there was something snarling behind you, that there was a creature waiting there to pounce on your weak, fleeing form.

You'd been running for hours, but only now did the first few trees of a forest start to crop up near the horizon. If you hadn't been already, you would have wept at the sight of the green shelter and possible food or water. Every step burned your freezing legs, but still you dragged them into one more step, until you were in the forest.

You weren't scared of the forest. But the fear that someone was watching you was very real, so much so that you began to regret the cover of the trees that shielded you from the eyes of the stars. It didn't long at all for you to lose your way in the midnight black. Walking carefully, valuing the silence more than speed now that you were under cover, you spied a small cluster of trees.

They looked decent enough to climb; their thick, level branches offered more than enough space for you to sleep. And more than all of that, the length of each of those branches looked long enough for you to scramble away if something were to attack. That was your first instinct; to run, to flee. You were too shaken up to be disgusted with yourself for the lack of your fighting spirit, the lack of the arrogance that your uncle had fought to place in you.

You made your way towards the oak trees, placing a bruised hand on the rough wood of the trunk. As you were preparing your muscles to hoist yourself up, you caught a flash of movement out of the corner of your right eye and whirled, nearly tripping over a root but still placing your feet facing the red-haired girl who was just ten meters away.

As soon as you saw red hair, a flush of boiling hatred sank into your gut. The colour red was the colour of your mother’s dresses, was the colour of Orion’s mother’s dress before you’d beaten her. It meant that the women you so feared were back – red meant that terror was still being inflicted on both you and Orion.

But then green eyes met yours and you felt your fear slip away. This doe-eyed girl was not a titan; you could tell simply by the way that she smiled. It wasn't just the straight, dull teeth that gave away her status as a human - it was the very fact that she grinned at you, smiling with her eyes and her lips and her teeth. You'd never seen anything so beautiful as that girl, right then, the moonlight dappled onto her pale, freckled face.

“Well, you aren't what I was expecting to find.” Her words were full of the laughter that seemed to permanently live within the features of her face. She held up a bag, which had been embroidered with an emblem - of two wings, one blue and one white, encased in a shield. “I was just out looking for some plants. The ones inside are so limited, am I right?”

You cocked your head, her words sounding foreign to you. It had been so long since you'd heard words that weren't spoken with a growl underlying the words, or a snarl twisting some of the letters. And yet, she was speaking so cleanly, so smoothly. How beautiful words sounded when there wasn't a threat behind them. “You...” You stopped your words, hating the rough way that they broke the silence in comparison to her sweet tone.

“I'm Isabel Magnolia,” the green eyed girl spoke, winking at you. “Forgive me, but I haven't been introduced to you yet. Are you a first year too?”

You didn't know what to say. Suddenly, the weight of the entire day began to settle on you, and you couldn't help but let a tear free. Isabel said nothing more as she watched you sob, sinking to the ground until your back was against the tree. The human carefully stepped forward, looking at you properly for the first time - taking in your clothes, your bloodied hands, and your wild hair.

“You aren't a first year.” She answered her own question decisively. “You haven't seen another person for a while, have you?” You shook your head, watching her through your tears. She sat down opposite you, a healthy distance away so as to not make you panic. She was treating you like she would an animal - and you had never been so thankful for it.  
“Well, I'm a student at this school. The year only just started yesterday, so I'm sure that you could easily join. But... But it isn't an ordinary school. It teaches assassination.”

You flinched away from the word, into the harsh wood at your back. Isabel clucked, holding out her hand. You stared at it, not sure what to do - was she truly meaning to hit you? But she merely giggled at your stunned expression and took your hand, her warm fingers white hot against the iciness of your own. “I think you'd do great there. Have you got family?”

You snarled, the sound shocking the girl for the first time. You gulped it down, watching for her reaction with wide, deathly eyes. “I’ll take that as a no,” she said. Standing up, she grabbed her bag from where she'd dropped it and gave you a weird salute. “I'll give you a choice, as someone did before me. I was like you. I was dirty, scared and cold when my broken family ended up here. I'd grown up in an underground city, you see... I was forced to thieve and run, every day. But my family... We ran from that. I'm guessing that you've been running, too.”

“But we got here, more or less. Along the way, we met a girl with ginger hair and kind eyes. She was involved with one of the boys that I was with anyway - but she was still kind to me. And she offered us a choice: You can stay here and fight. Or you can come with me, and fight.”

You raised your eyes and stood. Your legs trembled, but you still stood. “What's the difference between fighting here and fighting there?” You didn't care about how rough your words sounded. Isabel blinked in surprise before smiling slightly.

“You know, my brother said those exact words? I think you'd get on just fine with him,” she said, but you hardly gave the boy that was her brother a second thought. All that mattered was this girl, right here. A choice - she was offering you a choice, an actual choice that you could make by yourself. You couldn't remember the last time that you'd chosen to do anything, besides what you had done just a few hours ago. This girl was offering something that seemed so little to her; she had no idea about the magnitude that it meant to you.

The girl smiled and in that precise second, you knew that you’d grow to adore this girl and that smile.

“The difference is that with me, you won't be fighting alone.”

~

“Who are you?”

The man was bald, and the smell of alcohol was strong on his breath. You were tied to a chair in the centre of the room, barren of furniture except a wall of bars that split it into two. You were on one side, with the bald man and another whose name you didn't know. On the other was the green eyed girl, who was being held back by a woman who looked like she didn't feel anything; well, anything except plain indifference.

As soon as she'd lead you into the school, alarms had gone off. People on horses had tied you up immediately, gagging and placing a mask around your face so that you couldn't see. Although you could still hear - you could hear Isabel's protests, saying that you were fine, that you only wanted to join the school. But in the end, the officials had only carted you into a small room.

“In this school, we take security measures very seriously,” the bald man said. “In order for you to join, you need to tell us who you are.”

“You fight titans,” you said, you voice containing a midnight softness that matched that of the bald man. He blinked as he realized that you'd been copying his voice. “I can tell by your ridiculous security measures.”

“So you're a smart one,” the bald one said, nodding at the other man in the room. “Shadis, get out the knife.”

“Pixis,” Shadis said with his voice both a warning and a threat. “I'm not harming a girl who looks like she's about to die anyway.”

The leader - Pixis - sent a glare straight to Shadis. “If she does not tell me who she is, there won't be an option of mercy.”

“I am Y/N L/N,” you said, and you smirked at the arrogant tone behind the midnight caress of your new voice. You were building it up, blanking everything out, building a wall. You made yourself forget about Orion, and your mother. You made yourself forget about yourself; you made yourself forget that there had ever been a princess for the titans.

Until, suddenly, there was nothing else. There was no one else for Y/N L/N to be.

You didn’t let yourself panic – not in this new mind, this new life. Pixis was watching you, waiting – and in that second, you took a bit of information out of everyone in the room.

From Shadis, you took the strength that he kept hidden behind those pitiful eyes, and built it into yourself. You made yourself an iron will, an arrogance that wouldn't bow to anyone or anything. From Pixis, you took his leader's poise. You took his power and his status - you built yourself a new poise, even as you were tied to the chair. From the woman, who was holding a crying Isabel back, you took her iciness and built it around your heart. You'd be emotionless, strong and fearless.

And from Isabel - the girl who you'd only just met, and treasured so much - you took her vibrancy. You took her brightness and turned it into an abyss of black, building yourself up to be someone who could maybe not just follow her anywhere - but lead.

And so, lifting your chin with all of the traits that you'd stolen, you looked at Pixis to find a shimmer of fear in his eyes. “I am Y/N L/N. I escaped from a titan family. You can tell this already, from my human face to the scars that they gave me on my back. You know that I am the furthest thing from a titan because of the fact that that girl right there,” you said, your eyes on Isabel, “is alive. You know that if I had been a titan, I’d have eaten her right there and then with no regrets.”

Pixis nodded to Shadis, who swallowed before lifting up your tunic just enough so that only your back was revealed. You knew what they were seeing - the great amass of scars that years of whipping and stabbing and punishing had worked to achieve. There was no way that a human could have done that – and as your claim stood, it seemed reasonable to believe you. It sent a grim amount of satisfaction to hear someone vomiting in the corner, doubtless imagining what had been done to the ruined slab of flesh that was your back. Isabel's crying had gone silent.

“You can stay,” Pixis whispered. “Ilse Langnaar will be your Dorm mistress... She can give you a room.”

~

And all too soon, you were on your own again in a room that was foreign.

You sent a look towards the bed, the clean sheets that you were supposed to sleep in, the pillows that seemed all too extravagant – but you supposed, after startling Pixis with the sight of your back, he wanted you to be comfortable. So he’d sent you pillows to ease your pain.

You’d been given back your daggers, a fact that you were grateful for. They were the only things that you kept, as you stripped off your leathers and dirty boots and stepped into the shower. The hot water cascaded down your back, washing away dirt and blood and your panic.

A few minutes later, you were stepping out of the shower and changed immediately into your new school uniform. It didn’t matter that it was still night, that you were exhausted. You dumped your old clothes into the bin and relished the feeling of the crisp white shirt next to your skin, the skirt that flared practically around your legs and the sheaths that you strapped to your hips. And the jacket, a light brown material, was the best part – with the stitched emblem of the wings along the back.

They were your only clothes right now, after all.

But none of that mattered if titans caught you again. They’d rip this new life away; tear away the layers of your armour as well as this lovely uniform. So you held up one of your daggers, the weak light of the moon slicing its way down the blade. Your fingers explored the blade – one of a pair. The hilt was amber – twirling around the leather handle without rhyme or reason. At the end, a small jewel glimmered – black. On the other dagger, you knew, a white one would shine. White and black jewels for otherwise identical daggers.

But you kept the black one in your hand as you raised your arm up, resting the cool metal at the back of your neck. Titans couldn’t be allowed to find you – but if they did, they’d think that you were a traitor if you looked as though you’d gone without a fight. So you were glad of the sharp blade as it easily slit a line across your skin, deep and true.

The pain was easy to bear, and you gathered tissue from the bathroom to gather the blood before it could stain the collar of your uniform.

The scar would be just another safety insurance; if any titans found you and knew you to be who you were, they’d think that you were a titan – that you were merely waiting for the ideal opportunity to strike at the humans you were with.

You put the black-stoned dagger into its sheath at your belt as the first rays of sunlight illuminated the room, and smiled. The door behind you opened suddenly, and you whipped around and send a sarcastic snarl to Isabel, strolling into your room like it was her own. You stashed the bloody tissues into the bin, grabbing a bandage and quickly binding it around your neck – to which Isabel only pursed her lips.

“I won’t even ask,” she shrugged. “But just so you know, there are more new people coming in, so if you hear anyone scream or anything… You know… It’s probably normal. Don’t panic.”

“Why would they scream?” Another voice asked from behind your door. It opened again to reveal a brown-haired girl running a speculative eye around your room, grinning as her eyes landed on the pair of you. “I don’t suppose that you have any food?”

Isabel choked on a laugh and you raised an eyebrow. “Breakfast is a few hours away,” she said. “The cooks are probably making it now.”

“Then… Where are the kitchens?”

Isabel sobered up and waltzed over to the new girl. She leaned back, inspecting her coolly. “I have a feeling that we’re going to get along,” Isabel smiled. “Want me to help you steal stuff from the cooks?”

The two were gone before you could blink, chortling down the hall. You stuck your head out of the door, watching their two disappearing figures and wondering at how, exactly, you were going to survive here. Then a door slammed opposite the corridor from you, and you froze as a girl started in slight shock and looked at you.

Her blond hair was untidy and strung up into a bun that practically screamed her lack of care about her looks – and beneath a straggly fringe, pure blue eyes shone with a ferocity that made you blink. But as her eyes bore into yours, almost as though she were searching for something, you hardened your gaze and sent her a cocky smile.

“Somehow, I think we’re going to get along,” you said, twisting Isabel’s words so that they sounded far more sarcastic. The girl seemed to appreciate it, her lips twitching. “Dare I ask for your name?”

The girl shook her hair out of her eyes and adjusted her own school jacket as though it were uncomfortable. “Depends if you give your own first. Did you never get taught manners?”

Your attitude flared. “Unfortunately for you, Princess, I never bow – I will accept you kneeling before me, though.” You hoped the girl didn’t notice how your throat had to work to get the words out without a snarl – or a sob. You’d never bow before anyone again.

“Unfortunately for you, Y/N L/N, I only kneel before those who are worthy.”

You sent your tongue running along the tips of your teeth, a movement that the girl tracked. “How did you know my name?”

The girl shrugged idly, already turning away down the corridor as if you weren’t worth the time. “I’ve heard it before,” she gestured, waving to where Isabel and the other girl had gone to. “They don’t talk quietly.”

You stood in the doorway of your room, ready to close the door as the girl retreated. But then it dawned on you that you hadn’t gotten what you’d wanted out of the encounter. “Where are your manners, then? It’s rude to know someone else’s name and not give your own.”

The girl stopped in the hallway and turned her head. Even at the distance from your door that she was, the cool ice of her eyes could be seen; they basically glowed in the darkness of the dawn. You guessed that she was smiling as her eyes turned upwards slightly. “Annie Leonhardt.”

***

{Now}

“Pride?” Annie’s voice speared through your thoughts. You glanced around and watched her running up to you, a few tendrils of blond hair spilling from her bun. Blankly, you registered her school uniform and the bag that she’d slung over a shoulder – probably going to work out, as she always did. But then your attention went right back to the gate through which Isabel had disappeared through. Annie reached your side and stood there in almost uncertain silence for a few seconds, before softly beginning to speak “They're just going for a short amount of time. Stop worrying.”

You reached up to impatiently brush your face, wiping tears from your cheeks. “I should be there with them.”

Annie said nothing as she pulled you up and hugged you fiercely.

And then you did something that surprised you even more.

You hugged her back.

***

It had been so long since you'd had a warm shower, and your bones sang in the warmth as it hugged itself to you. You sighed, loving the water as it washed your skin. After so long in the infirmary, and generally out and about, you'd forgotten what it had meant to feel clean again.

Your mind was still tugging at your body to go, to grab Skira's reigns and fly with the wind until you found Isabel and Levi. There was such a weight on your chest, constricting your every breath. But after she had embraced you, Annie had looked you right in the eyes and had ordered you to go to the Dorms. There had been such an underlying feeling underneath those icy blue eyes - an intensity that told you to obey. Normally, you would have tossed your head in a cocky manner that you knew she hated... But that intensity had you backing up, using the animalistic sense of survival that you had trained not to ignore. Your pride had curbed first, and you'd merely turned on your heel and stomped up the path, away from Isabel. You would have turned around and ran right back, but as you looked back down the path you saw that Annie had guessed your intentions. She had just stood there, with arms crossed and a foot impatiently tapping out an irregular rhythm on the stone path.

After that, you had swallowed and winced at the foul taste in your mouth. You'd then decided that maybe having a few minutes locked in your bathroom would be a nice, normal adventure for a change.

So here you were, with your door locked and your bathroom steaming up nicely. The damn lock was nearly broken, but you'd thrown your weight onto it until it had clicked closed with a satisfying thud. The poor thing was showing such wear; it was the courtesy of Sasha, Annie and Isabel and the number of times that they'd broken in after you'd locked the door on them.

Shutting the water off, you lightly stepped out of the shower and onto the cool tiled floor, wrapping a fluffy tile around yourself. Such small, human things; you'd forgotten to appreciate them, but it punched back with full force now. Catching sight of yourself in the slightly fogged up mirror, you sighed through your nose at the changed body.

Once, your arms had been softer and more of a healthy colour; you could hardly tell that now, with bruises marring every inch of your S/C skin. And your nails were uneven from your normal length, showing the number of times that you'd relied on them in your training.

And once, there had not been a tattoo marring your collarbone with a harsh dictation. You knew the sign well enough now; in all of your years spent with your family, you'd seen the sign so many times. Your uncle was at the head of the first family, which was the family that had sworn to protect the royal blood line. He'd had the same tattoo marring his own wrist, but he'd worn it wonderfully well. You hid yours, knowing that the knowledge of its existence could only mean bad things for you.

And now you knew that Annie and Eren had the same tattoo.

You snarled softly to yourself, knowing that thinking about it wouldn't solve anything. Slipping into clean clothes was another relief; you donned the uniform, grinning at the familiar emblem on the back of the jacket. Shaking your head to clear the water that was still managing to clog your thoughts, you winced at the sudden alarm of the bell.

The first ring was enough to startle your heart into stillness. An assembly?

But the group that had just gone on a surveillance mission had just attended an assembly. Surely there wouldn't be another one without them? The second ring settled your doubts and made you glad that you had put your uniform on; you stormed out of the Dorms with an attitude that warned several girls to keep away.

The weight on your chest lifted considerably when you saw Jean and Marco walking along the path to get to school; you hadn't seen them within Levi's surveillance team, but you couldn't help but think that you might have missed them, that you should have been worrying about them as well.

But Marco's wide smile greeted you, and Jean rolled his eyes as you smiled back. “In a good mood, Pride?”

“Impossible,” you replied coyly, smiling at him. “I'm with you.”

“I'm here too,” Marco raised his eyebrows at you, offering his arm to you. You took it, sticking your tongue out at Jean until he sighed and offered you his arm as well. With Marco on your right and Jean on your left, you found breathing easier. “I know you're worrying, Y/N, but you shouldn't be. Isabel can handle herself.”

You blinked at him, stumbling a little. Here you'd thought that you had done a good job pretending that you weren't spending every thought worrying about her survival. “You're being way too placid,” Jean explained, patting your arm in a mocking, condescending way. When he saw your nostrils flare at the gesture, he laughed broadly. “It's a dead giveaway when you're being nice...”

“Maybe I should become angrier, then, if you prefer it...” You threatened. Your words were empty, though, and the two boys both knew it.

“Y/N!”

All three of you halted as Mikasa's voice carried above the bitter wind. You turned to see Mikasa flying towards you, her red scarf highlighting the redness around her eyes as well. Armin was running close on her heels, his face drawn and pale. You and Marco caught each other's eyes, and after a few seconds of holding each other's gazes, Marco nodded. Patting Jean's arm and murmuring quietly to him for a second, Marco lead Jean towards the assembly hall without you. You spotted Jean's bewilderment at leaving you and Mikasa, but as the raven-haired girl cannoned into you, you soon forgot the boys.

Mikasa never showed emotion; and yet, with tears obviously threatening to spill from her wild eyes, you knew that there could only be one reason. You took Mikasa's hand and squeezed tightly, waiting until Armin had caught up to you both to start talking.

“Do we need horses?”

“Yes,” Armin panted, before Mikasa had the chance to start talking. “And we need them now.”

“Then to the stables.” You answered, letting Mikasa's hand fall as you sprinted away from them both. It was a mark of how desperate the situation was that Armin didn't complain about more running. He'd never been the most physically capable - he'd always hung back during fights. But you had enough sense to not judge him purely on that; there was a well-informed whisper about how he'd come at the top of all classes, beating even you in everything except English and the physical ones.

You'd once raced Levi down the road that you were running on, your breaths coming easily. It was far easier now, knowing the adrenaline went far deeper into your bones at the very real danger that hovered above your head. You weren't even sure what the danger was; only that it was enough to drive Mikasa off the edge.

The stables were locked, but you didn't stop as you round-about kicked the door. Breaking the plank of wood around the lock, you were then able to pick the lock with a hairpin that Mikasa had hurriedly shoved into your hands. Skira whinnied from her stall, sensing your distress before she even saw your tensed body. As you rushed around, gripping her saddle and reigns, you started with the questions.

“Well?”

“There's a titan spy within this school,” Mikasa said, short and tensed like a coil of wire. “And the bastard's taken Eren.”

The idea sounded ludicrous to you - the loud mouthed boy, taken? He knew how to fight; all those hours spent sprawling in the dust must have taught the boy something. How could he have just let himself be taken? You eyed Mikasa apprehensively, but she was too absorbed in pulling a saddle roughly into place on a brown stallion. “Kidnapping? How can you be sure?”

“I saw it,” Armin answered for Mikasa, finally entering the stable after having to catch up to you. “I was in a classroom in school, and he was on the lawn. He was walking back to the Dorms before someone grabbed him...”

“Description?” You searched Armin for any sense of the ridiculousness that you felt. At a time like this, the titans kidnapping a student? It was unheard of. There was just no motive behind it... Except Eren’s tattoo. He could be claimed as a titan, or captured as penance for impersonating them.

“They had a black cloak,” Armin said, his eyes meeting yours dead on. Hidden underneath the terror for his friend, there was a defiant and threatening sense that told you that if you doubted his logic, you were going to regret it. “Obviously titan-oriented.”

“And the assembly?” You threw at him, your hands checking Skira's reigns. “What's that about?”

“Obviously, I went to the officials,” Armin said, throwing you a box that you easily identified as 3DMG and signalling impatiently for you to put it on. “They're sending out the rest of the school to join with the surveillance team, but we're allowed to go ahead.”

“They really allowed us to go ahead?” You asked. Armin spun around and glared at you, all terror forgotten in his indignation at being doubted.

“No, of course they didn't allow it. But we're going anyway, because we can't stay here any longer whilst Eren has been taken.”

“And how can you be sure that this titan spy was really that - a spy? Couldn't they have just snuck in this morning?” Even as you said it, you saw the impracticality of it. The only time that the gate could have been opened was during the surveillance team's departure; you knew no one had entered then, because you had been there. You would have seen them.

“And why are they sending the entire school out to join the surveillance team?” You asked, your tone telling Armin that this was your final question as you strapped the last strap into place. “What's the use in that?”

“Well,” a new voice spoke from the door, “we know the answer to that one.”

You looked up to see Connie and Sasha striding in with a no-nonsense manner, with Connie looking proudly at you. “The surveillance team sent a message just a few minutes ago, and it kind of fits in with the abduction of Eren.”

“Tell me,” Mikasa ordered, no hint of pleasantness or politeness. Just hard and cold.

Sasha heaved herself onto a huge mare, whilst Connie chose a more slightly-built stallion in the stall beside hers. At once, they were ready to head off - and so Mikasa lead a gentler trot out of the stables than you would have expected from her. But she wanted to listen to Connie's news before forcing the horses into what was sure to be a hard run for them.

“There's an army of titans about three hours from here,” Connie said, and only the slight waver in his voice told you about his fear. “And they want back-up. They're waiting for more official instructions - they aren't sure whether to face them head-on, or come back to the school. So we're to join them.”

“An army of titans,” Armin repeated with a hollow desperation.

“How does this relate to Eren?” Mikasa snapped, kicking her horse into a faster speed.

“Think about the timing, Mikasa,” you said, your mind blissfully blank. “A titan army is near this school, and you don't find it just a tiny bit coincidental with the fact that a titan has taken your brother?”

“Why would they take him, though? He's just...”

“I think it has something to do with the tattoo he has. It marks him as their property, so they came to claim it.” You said, thinking to the same ink on your skin as you leaned forward on Skira, letting the horse settle herself into a rhythm. Mikasa said nothing more, her mouth tightening. “If the spies knew us, then they’d know that two of the greatest fighters present would be willing to do just about anything to get Eren back.”

Sasha and Connie remained silent as well, to your surprise, as you cantered through the gate that Armin had to go and open for you all. Out in the open, you wrestled with your emotions as you realized that you'd gotten your wish. You were going to go and join Isabel.

But would it be at the cost of Eren's life? Or would the consequence be far greater, with an army so near them? “Sasha, did they say anything more about the army? Like the number, or anything?”

“Only a small detail about the leader,” Sasha answered, her mare easily keeping up with Skira's light canter. “They say he carried a magnificent sword.”

Your mouth had suddenly gone very, very dry.

You didn't need to ask anything more, because you knew the sword in question.

Yes, you knew your father's sword very well indeed.


	28. Chapter 28 - The Army

“So it's our job to do - what, exactly?” Sasha was shouting over the wind to Armin, whose blue eyes closely resembled Annie's in sheer iciness. It seemed an age away when you'd rescued them from a wagon, thinking that surely there'd be no one alive left in the company of titans. It had only been a few months. 

“We find and rescue Eren,” Mikasa ordered, her flat voice telling all of you that there wouldn't be room for any other goals. You bit your lip; not because you were nervous, but because you knew that it wouldn't do any good to argue with the raven-haired girl. It helped, because this way you couldn't start an argument. But your mind was already settling on the obvious conclusion - if you couldn't find Eren, there would be no good just running everywhere to try to find him.

Especially not with a small army of titans approaching. Not when Isabel was so close to them already, without you there to protect her. Whilst Mikasa had obviously bought your story of wanting to help her find Eren, you knew deep down that you had just been waiting for an opportunity to get on a horse and run like hell towards the people you care about. The only comfort that you sought was the fact that at least Levi was with Isabel and Farlan; he was brilliant, and vibrant enough to keep titans off them. He'd even managed to save you a few times, after all.

“Can't we just join the surveillance group?” Connie voiced all of your thoughts through his unwavering, unafraid voice. “That way we can help more people, and it seems very likely that the spy would take Eren to the army anyway.”

“We find and rescue Eren,” Mikasa hissed, and you drew yourself up at the madness in her eyes. You knew that she was worried about her brother, the only person that she had left in this world; but that was insanity in her eyes. You were sure of it - you'd seen it many times in the eyes of your father, or in your reflection's E/C eyes. You pitied Eren, slightly, for this mad, beautiful creature that desperately needed an anchor. Using Eren as an anchor, you doubted that she'd never let him go. 

You hadn't seen her insane before - she was always beautifully blank, carefully structured into a cool mask of indifference. She'd shown feelings, had laughed and screamed, but they had always been veiled. You cursed yourself for not noticing her instability before - you could have said something, done something. Looking at her set face, it was hard to see - but if you looked at her eyes, it was easy to see. It had just been masked by Eren's bright presence. You cast your gaze around and found Armin watching you intently; he'd probably been watching you survey Mikasa. You met his gaze straight on, daring him silently to contradict your thoughts. He held your gaze for a few moments before nodding slightly, and dropping your harsh stare.

Armin knew. Of course he knew about her; he'd been with her for years. That was long enough to see the flickers of insane rage within her, subtle hints dropped throughout the times that she remained blissfully blank. You opened your mouth without knowing what to say to the blond haired boy, who had been caged by an insane girl and a hyperactive potential titan as his only friends in the world.

As soon as you thought it, Sasha dropped back to accompany Armin. She told him a joke, and judging by his startled laughter, it had been one of those stupid jokes that Sasha had a knack for. He may not have had many friends in the past, but he certainly had them now.

The scenery flew by like a blur, so trees and grass faded into nothing but greenery. Mikasa lead the party without looking back; you knew that if any of you fell behind, you would stay behind. “You have no clue where Eren is,” you said, urging Skira forward so that you rode next to Mikasa. You watched her face carefully, seeing her eyes flinch slightly. You couldn't help but grin wickedly, thinking about how desperate Mikasa was in order to just randomly jump on her horse and go.

“If you have no clue as to what to do, I shall not accompany you any longer,” you said, and it gave you great pleasure to watch panic rule her face. She knew that your abilities were too good to lose on her quest to save her brother; she also knew that if you weren't going to follow her, then neither would Sasha or Connie. And that would leave Armin to choose between her and you.

Mikasa slowed her horse to a stop, watching as Connie and Sasha circled you in a nervous silence. “And what would you suggest?” The words seemed to poison in her mouth as she spat them out, glaring at you. Armin watched her carefully, his face not showing any fear at all.

“I suggest that we head towards the surveillance team, so that we can actually see the titan army. From there, we can see where Eren has actually been taken.”

You didn't wait to see her reaction to your words. As you kicked Skira's sides in order to make her canter again, you wondered when exactly you had gotten so selfish. There were indeed many reasons as to why you wanted to get towards the surveillance team - but Eren was not the main one. 

There were two main reasons - and one was red haired, whilst the other was raven. “Y/N, are you sure that whatever that was...” Sasha said, gesturing behind her widely, “was a good idea? Mikasa only wants to help her brother...”

You allowed Sasha to trail off, knowing that behind you she and Connie were meeting each other's eyes in a wide expression. “She'll follow us,” you predicted, a faint tug of hesitation behind swept away by sheer confidence. “She'll follow me.”

“Someday, someone will make you pay for that arrogance,” Mikasa's voice rose against the rushing wind. You heard two sets of hooves join you, falling into the steady cantering rhythm. A wide smile branded itself onto your lips, and you once again lost yourself to the song of the wind.

***

It didn't take you long to pick up the trail that the surveillance team had ingrained upon the earth. You followed the deep imprints, heart pumping in your chest with lethal quickness. Somehow, you knew that the ones you sought were near - but there was danger in the air. You could sense it.

You guided Skira around a bend, following the outskirts of a forest. You knew that they were on the other side of the trees; if you strained your ears, you could hear the faint murmurs of the students through the thicket. You turned your head to nod at Mikasa and Armin, who slowed down to confer their own plans. It was clear that this was where you would separate - Armin and Mikasa to find Eren, and the three of you to join the human army.

“Good luck,” Connie said, but to deaf ears - you doubted that Mikasa could hear anything that wasn't Eren's voice now. Armin looked up briefly to nod at you, fear finally growing in his eyes. It was like he finally realized that this could be the last time that he saw any of you alive.

You didn’t want to waste any more time – because if you stayed a mere second longer, you’d begin to question and doubt yourself. Mikasa and Armin were important to you – could you really just leave them to go and do their own surveillance without you? But you shook yourself, mentally; Connie and Sasha joined you and cantered around the final stretch of trees, and you nearly wept at the sight of the human army that was before you. They were all sitting down now, but regardless of that fact, they were all fidgeting. Mutters arose rather than the spirited yelling of an army that was now at the opposite end of the huge expanse of land.

They were like shadows; you could barely make them out, although they were easy to spot due to the flat land offering no dips of hiding places. But they were there - the titan army. Two miles away - that was what you guessed. Was it your stress that was making you hear their laughter, or was their army actually that loud? You couldn't tell. You couldn't be bothered to tell, not anymore.

“It seems the army found us,” Sasha muttered, her eyes darkening at the sight of the humans being unable to do anything. If they ran, the titans would undoubtedly follow – perhaps beat them back to the school. Titans didn’t know where your school was; all of their reconnaissance endeavours had ended in your school taking them hostage within the dungeons. 

“So you think that the titans took Eren to their army?” Connie whispered to you, lowering his voice to mimic the ones around you. You nodded as you started to weave your way through the students, their eyes sparking as they looked up at you. 

“Isn't that - Pride?”

“I swear it is... But she wasn't supposed to come, was she?”

“Who cares? If she's here, it can only mean good things...”

“Stop listening to them,” Connie teased, poking you in the ribs and grinning at Sasha. “It will only inflate your already large head.” You mime punching his face, poking your tongue out, but this only makes them both giggle more. Connie starts parading through the students ahead of you as Sasha grabs your hand and walks beside you.

“Everyone, just try not to panic, just a hero coming through here, nothing to see - Pride, don't worry, I am only handling your fans for you - excuse me, sir, I do not appreciate that gesture. Pride might beat you up if you disrespect me –“

“No I wouldn't,” you whisper to Sasha, who was looking at Connie with an exasperated expression. “I'd help them beat him up, if I'm perfectly honest...” All the while, your eyes were scouring the people, searching for the ones that you wanted. But it lifted your heart to see the students to look up at you like you were a saviour, like you were a reason to hope that they could win this inevitable fight.

“Pride is coming through! Would you kindly move, sir?”

“The day that I move for that brat is the day that titans become good.”

You'd never been gladder to hear his voice. Your eyes met his, and you felt a smile before tears started collecting in your eyes. You willed them away, thinking about how ridiculous it was to ever be worried about the male that was currently approaching you. He held his arms open, and you avoided all eye contact as you just allowed yourself to fall into them.

A sarcastic cheer rose from the onlookers, and you couldn't help but blush into Levi's shoulder. “Miss me?” He said, but you heard his smile through the way he snickered on the words. 

“Tell no one of this,” you threatened, your hands snaking themselves around his neck.

“I doubt anyone would believe me anyway,” Levi mused. You let out a weak laugh, and finally pulled away from his heat. “Why are you here? Are you coming to fight with us?”

“Of course. I would hate for you to fight alone.”

“Well, I find that damsels in distress higher my motivation levels to actually fight and get dirty,” Levi speculated, his eyes never leaving your face. 

“I find that too,” you look at him with a cocky smirk that you knew amused him. “You're a great damsel.” Whilst Levi spluttered, you looked behind him to see a familiar girl giving you a knowing wink. You threw her a glare full of ice, but in reality your heart was singing in joy. They were alright, you could protect them, and they were fine. “It must be tiring, Levi, to be known as both a damsel and a poodle. My, how your reputation is suffering.”

“Don't tempt me to kill you, brat,” Levi said, his face falling into a mocking shadow. Farlan's raucous laughter was suddenly joining the mumble of voices that had heightened in volume since you had appeared, and you were glad as Isabel suddenly cannoned into you.

“I thought you were going to do something as stupid as this,” she said, pouting. “I'll have you know that I am in fact a good fighter, Pride, and so you don't need to worry about me –“

 

“I'm a better fighter, and I've nearly been killed thousands of times,” you cut her off, raising a slender eyebrow. She growls and struts back to Farlan, who folds her into his arms as he laughs at her annoyance. You sent her a sly smile, and she buries her head into Farlan's chest to hide her blush. You had thought you would get jealous about Farlan receiving Isabel's attention instead of yourself, but instead you only felt immensely happy that she had someone like him. 

You blinked, remembering something that Farlan had once told you. ‘My favourite colour is green. Green for the grass and for leaves and for ivy.’ As you looked at Isabel's bright, emerald eyes, you realized that maybe he'd liked her for quite a long time without knowing it.

Sasha, who had disappeared from your side the moment that you'd spotted Levi, hurtled back to your side, her hair going wild as she ran and hopped through the people. “A small party of titans - coming close - don't know what to do –“

You immediately grabbed Levi's hand before running in the direction that Sasha had come from. He easily kept up with you as you both darted through the gaps between students. You heard an indignant squeak as Isabel realized that you had both disappeared, but you knew that she would soon catch up to you with Farlan in tow. As you reached the end of your small army, you indeed saw the small party of about ten titans approaching, their black cloaks billowing in the wind.

Glancing behind you, you saw that Sasha and Connie were rousing the human army into getting themselves ready. Isabel and Farlan caught up to you without a word, and all four of you walked out to meet the titans together. Your heart, which had been so joyous just a few moments before, stuttered and leaped to your throat. Your tongue was suddenly as dry as sandpaper, and your legs were jelly.

With every step, your head chanted a mantra: You couldn't do this - you wouldn't do this - you shouldn't do this -With every step, you wanted to turn back, to turn around, to bolt and to flee, to survive. But then the hand that was holding yours squeezed, and your fingers flooded with warmth. There were twenty steps left until you met with the small party of titans.

 

Then there were ten.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

 

One.

And then 

Zero.


	29. Chapter 0 - What Happened Before

{The day of your Y/A birthday - At the titan's manor house}

 

The sun rising on the day of your birthday was one of the most terrifying things that you'd ever seen.

You were in your bedroom, on the top floor of the manor house that your family had claimed. Whilst resources had never meant much to your family, royals simply had to have the best. So you had tossed and turned all night whilst being caressed by a light blue sheet of silk that stuck to your skin where you had sweated in sheer terror. 

It was today. The day had slowly crept on you, and then all at once it was here. Today, you would go through the operation that would turn you into a true titan, both in mind and whatever twisted soul that you had left. You'd left your window open throughout the night, looking down to the grounds. Bonfires had been lit down the street, towards the town that your family had also claimed for the titans that were travelling with you. You'd watched the titans dance around the flames, honouring the coming day. You, the titan princess, would truly become that.

More than once, the wind had shifted and beckoned to you, chilling your skin. You'd never even considered your death, but you had once sworn that it would be a spectacular one - something that would be told around campfires, years after it had occurred. The thought that one day, you'd want to end yourself... It had never struck you. Not until last night, when you’d looked out the window and worked out distances until you came to the conclusion that it would actually kill you. No, until last night, you'd have never let yourself run from anything.

But could you run from your bloodline and live with yourself? Could you run from your birth-right and still actually live with all of the titans in the world after your traitorous hide? And could you stomach running from a mess that one day, you could maybe solve?

Power. That's what queen-hood meant. There was no doubt that one day, if you took the ritual, you'd become Queen. You'd have all the power in the world to sort some things out, to change and forge and purge. Whilst titans were brutes - nasty, animalistic brutes - you had to admit that their training methods would now ensure your ability to defend your throne one day. You were the best fighter that they'd ever had.

A knock sounded at your door, and you jolted in sheer panic. Giving the open window one fleeting glance, contemplating your ability to actually throw yourself out of it, you stood up. Your black nightgown came up to the middle of your thigh, but you hardly cared about your decency at this point. Your bare feet recoiled from the freezing stone floor, but you lightly ran over to the heavy door and opened it slightly.

It was enough to see who was on the other side.

“You don't have the right to come in here,” you spat, and attempted to shove the door closed. But the person on the other side stuck their foot in the gap, and taking advantage of your outraged gasp, shoved their brutish way into your cold room. 

“Good morning to you too, Princess.” Orion grinned at you and your heart ached at the sight of it.

Because that grin was pure evil, pure sadism and everything that was utterly titan. He'd had his teeth filed into the natural sharp fangs that all titans had, and his nails had also been shaved into cruel, pointy claws. But those weren't the worst of his looks - it was that grin, those eyes. Once so warm, so brown and kind, those eyes now looked as sharp as his mother’s had – although hers had been darker. But now, her son’s eyes were filled with nothing but cool contemplation of where to make you bleed. 

His eyes swept your body from toe to head and back again; you fought the urge to cross your arms, and willed that the goosebumps that were rising on your arms to go away. Orion was a new titan; he had to get used to the new dynamic of trying not to go after every bit of meat that was within a suitable distance.

And you were still human, and you understood that vitality poured from you. The flush of blood on your cheeks would make his mind race about what it would taste like, and your muscles tensing in defence would make him imagine all the ways in which he could tear them apart. He was a cannibal; he'd already had his first taste of human flesh. All titans did on their first birthday of being a titan; Orion had been given a full feast in his honour, being the Princess's right hand.

Orion crossed the room to the window, looking down below at the preparations already being made. There was to be a great party, a celebration for all titans to come to. He watched with something crude flickering in his eyes, before slamming the window shut. You did your best not to flinch at the sound - you really did - but even so, your eyes betrayed you at the final moment. Seeing this, Orion smirked and sauntered towards you.

“You're rather quiet today, Princess. No biting remarks?”

You didn't deign to answer. You watched him with lethal clarity, a watchfulness that had once made titans flinch. But not him – never him. It had been true that you'd made your dislike of his new form known - from the very first day, where he'd swaggered in at breakfast to claim his normal seat next to you, your heart had sunken. After he had grinned at you with that evil, stupid grin, you'd claimed to be ill and had fled to your bedroom. No one came for you to force you to train or attend court sessions, and so you'd sobbed the day away. You'd known from that moment that he'd been taken from you, that he'd been mutilated and twisted into a savage version of the boy that you'd loved. From then, you'd spoken to him in the same way that you spoke to everyone else.

With a vile, cutting edge to your voice.

“Or perhaps,” Orion continued, the rasp and growl of his voice distorting his normal speech. “Perhaps the reason there are no biting remarks is that you have finally accepted that you'll be doing enough biting later?”

“How dare you,” you growl, allowing some spark to show in your E/C eyes. A flush sparked on your cheeks at his insinuation, and you decided that your patience was at an end. “Get out of my room.”

“I know what you've been thinking,” Orion sneered, sweeping off your words by acknowledging nothing of their existence. You might have just said nothing at all. “You must think me a fool to not know exactly why that window was open.”

You cursed inwardly. Orion still knew you as well as his human-self had. It wasn't as though his memory had warped alongside his very self; and so he knew exactly how you thought, and exactly which buttons to push in order to get you to break. “I needed air,” you stiffly told him.

“And there isn't enough air in the room for you?” Orion mocked, coming close and looking you right in your eyes. “How low have you sunk, Princess, to be thinking of suicide?”

“Don't talk to me about sinking beneath your standards.”

“Oh?” Orion’s eyes sparked at his enjoyment of this entire exchange. His voice turned lower, huskier, as he leaned in close. “Is my titan self not good enough for the magnificent titan princess? But what would her subjects say if I told them exactly what she was thinking of doing this morning?”

“Stop it.”

“You wouldn't seem to be so magnificent then, would you?”

“I told you to stop it!” This time, your words were accompanied by a very real slap across his stupid, hated face. For a moment, feral rage twisted his features and you feared that he’d forget about you and your title and instead rip you apart.

Instead, Orion bowed deeply but kept his eyes fastened on yours with cool calculation. “Indeed. What would you like me to say instead, Princess?”

“Nothing!” You cried, hating yourself for that bit of weakness that made your voice carry the sound of tears. “I want you to go away!”

Orion said nothing then, and an almost wistful look came into his eyes as you widened your eyes into a stare, trying to will the tears away. He made his way towards your wardrobe, which had once been the property of some young girl, daughter of the lord that had doubtless resided in this manor before you'd attacked. Not bothering to ask your permission, he threw the doors open and sifted through the dresses that were there before throwing one at you. You caught it instinctively, the red satin material immediately making your breathing shallower. “Put that on.”

At the sound of his softer voice – as if he knew you were close to breaking – you only became more furious. “Don't give me orders.”

But still you walked into the bathroom that was connected to your room, throwing the bolt across the door as soon as you were in. You heard Orion's laughter on the other side at your pathetic gesture, but you held your breath to stop yourself from freeing a sob from the cage of your chest. Kicking your nightdress away, you threw on leggings and a tunic that were always underneath the tub used as a bath. They were dirty, but they were tight fitting - and wouldn't show underneath the red dress that covered everything. You tugged the satin over your head, rinsing your face with cool water from the bucket before opening the door to your bedroom.

You took a deep breath. You loved Orion, yes. But that was not Orion, and he never would be again.

Maybe it was the leather underneath the dress, but you felt more like a fighter now. And so you wore it wonderfully well, sweeping into the room with long strides and holding your head up high. You heard Orion's sudden intake of breath as you looked at him in complete disdain, raising an eyebrow at him by your bed. 

“That'll fool everyone into thinking you're every bit of a Titan Queen.”

“Who says anything different?” You scornfully say, opening your bedroom door and beginning to walk down the long corridor towards the staircase to greet your family. Now, there was no trace of the tired, sad girl who had nearly cried. “Tell me their names; I'll gut them.”

“For every step of the way, you can act and speak your part so well,” Orion whispered softly, “but you'll never fool me. I can still remember you saying things to me, in your soft little scared voice. "You won't change," wasn't it?”

You couldn't think as you turned and slapped him – your hand once again finding that sensitive and now pink side of his cheek. The noises from downstairs went quiet, and you heard footsteps as titans began to investigate their beloved sound of violence. “Say anything else like that again,” you said, in a high and imperious voice - a Queen's voice, “and I shall kill you.”

You turned on your heel, prepared to stalk down the stairs, but Orion’s hand obstinately found its way to grip your elbow. Before you had the chance to rip it away, your uncle appeared from the other side of the stairs. From his intrigued expression, you knew that he’d heard your threat. And yet, he said nothing but gestured for you to follow him into the crowd of people downstairs. You didn't miss his widened eyes at your dress, although you knew it was splendid. “Away, boy.” 

Orion’s hand lifted from your skin, and you felt as though a weight had been lifted. You didn’t look as he slipped away into the crowd, knowing that the very lack of caring would bother him at least a little. 

“It's natural,” your uncle said, snarling his words. He'd been a titan for so long that he'd probably never speak without a growl or snarl again. You shot him a sly glance, evaluating the lack of tension and will to beat you that was normally in every line in his muscular body. As your mother’s older brother, he seemingly had a duty to protect the crown – and that meant protecting its legacy. When you couldn’t perform, he’d make sure that you would regret it.

But that violence simply wasn’t present. If anything, he looked more wired to protect you from those around you. So you took a breath and slipped your hand onto his elbow, allowing him to escort you through the curious titans and into the throne room. “What's natural?”

“For promised pairs to fight.”

That was the other reason that you'd hated Orion's turning so much.

He was promised to you… In marriage.

***

Your birthday was spent entertaining each miserable, brutish creature that had turned up to the celebration. Your dress swished on the polished floor of the manor as you strode through each room, each time with a different beast at your side. Each time you passed the throne room, where your parents were doing entertaining of their own by accepting gifts that the titans had travelled so far to give to you, you couldn't help but peak in. Each time, there was a new titan speaking directly in front of the thrones, with a new weapon sparkling at their hips or even in their hands.

You couldn't survey the court session for long; each time, somehow, your father's eyes would sought you out and widen in an evil warning until you nodded meekly and walked out. But pride was evident behind that belittling; your father was so proud to have a titan daughter live long enough to make it to her ritual. Titan children didn't often live long enough to make it to that date - with them being human, and therefore vulnerable, it wasn't such a rare occurrence to be having a funeral instead of a ritual. 

But Y/N L/N had made it, the daughter of the King and Queen of titans. A titan princess had survived; she was ready to become a mindless beast like every other creature in your world. 

And now, you stood before a great bonfire as the sun was setting, and night was settling itself to watch. The flames roared higher and higher, its heat making your skin flush greatly. Hundreds of titans were looking into fires like this all along the town, feasting and drinking and fighting. But this fire was special; it was before this fire that you'd undergo your ritual.

And you still had no idea what you were going to do.

There was no window for you to leap out of, to fly once more through the wind before feeling nothing at all. There was no escape. As hands reached out for you, clawed fingers gripping your forearms with no intent of letting go, you couldn't help the panic as it barked through your body.

Your knees trembled as you were guided into standing at the front of the fire. Its heat was impossible; you couldn't breathe.

But then you were guided into kneeling onto the cool grass, your dress protesting at the movement of your knees. A titan knelt in front of you, with blond hair that was smoothed back. With one look at him and his eyes of ice, you knew that he was the one who was going to do it. 

He was going to be the one to destroy even these thoughts taking place, so cut away your humanity.

He raised a bone dagger that had clearly been polished into smooth shininess especially for this occasion. Its edge was so sharp and thin, but so long. Your mouth went dry at the sight of it - that was going in your neck? Your ears hardly noticed how the titans’ chanting slowed down, as if your mind was witnessing this happen and had no power whatsoever to stop it. 

You opened your mouth to scream, to protest at this thing. But then a second pair of knees dropped to your side, and Orion pressed his hands towards your face. To others, it would seem to be a territorial gesture from the promised husband, warning the man performing the operation to not harm his promised wife. But as you looked up into his eyes in sheer terror, and saw his flickering wrath and giddiness, you knew it was because Orion knew you like he knew himself. He'd known you'd been about to cry out; he was now here to stop it. 

A sick feeling turned your stomach as you realized that this was the final thing you'd see as a human - Orion's grinning, wicked face. This would be the final time that you'd be scared of it - the next time you'd see it, you would grin just as wickedly back. 

But then there was a hiss.

And then blackness swooped in on swift wings, robbing every one of their sight.

The bonfire had suddenly, inexplicably, gone out.

For a moment, Orion’s grip on your face slackened as he turned to the doctor with a hiss, as if it were his fault. And in that moment, you knew exactly what you had to do. 

You'd never run so fast in your life. Your legs, fizzing like they'd just been electrified, sprinted for sheer and undiluted terror as you darted and whipped through the titans. There were no screams of terror - just laughter, as though this was one entire joke. None of them noticed as a girl scrambled through their numbers, darting and weaving her way out, away.

Except one.

As you neared the edge of the gathering, the privacy and the shelter of the surrounding woods calling your name into the wind, you only had a few seconds of warning before your father caught your arm within his iron grip and dug his nails into your flesh. You barely registered the ripping of the satin sleeves or the pain of where his nails pierced your skin – you were merely bewildered as he dragged you nearer to the woods, away from the gathering.

You said nothing as the titans around the now-dark bonfire started to yell. Orion, probably, had raised an alarm. It was a cruel play of fate - to dangle a chance of freedom in front of you to snatch it away right at the end. You'd been a fool for fleeing.

For a moment, you were startled at why your father seemed to be dragging you away. But as he glanced around, you realized exactly why. He knew perfectly well about your fear – and he didn’t want the rest of his subjects to realize it. He wanted you to be Queen one day; titans would not follow a girl who had run away from her ritual.

“You cowardly human,” he snarled, shoving his face near yours. “You're useless to me as a human, and you rutting know it. I’m ordering you to get your stupid hide back there and become useful to me.”

“Father, I love you,” you said, desperation making you giddy. As you heard the words, you realized that you'd never said those words before - and he'd never heard them.

He'd never hear them again, either.

He blinked at you, as though really seeing you for the first time. 

And then his head rolled onto the floor, leaving his body standing for a few seconds until it, too, crumpled to the ground. 

You tore through the rest of the dress with your twin daggers and shoved them back into their sheaths at your side. The yells around the bonfire were getting louder – you only gave a glance back towards that scene, where you’d left those beautiful shreds of a dress by your father’s still bleeding corpse.

And so Y/N L/N, Princess of the Titans and murderer of her kin, ran from her father's dead body and into the night.


	30. Chapter 29 - The Confession

“So, what are you rutting beasts doing here?”

As Levi wasted no time getting in a snarky, raging mood, you couldn't stop yourself from looking down at the ground, not daring to lift your gaze to the party of titans. You had no idea who was there, and maybe it was better that you had no clue. If you didn't allow them a chance to study your face, then it was a possibility that they couldn't use you against the people that you were with. 

But as you expected, the titans had no problem with rising instantly to match Levi's temper. “We've come to claim our own,” one of them snarled, with a voice that was coarse and full of ice. “You've been keeping them from us for a year now.”

“You mean your spy?” Isabel said, stepping to Levi's side. She'd already been filled in with the information that someone was a traitor to the school, and that they'd taken Eren. “Take them. We don't want them - and they wouldn't want us to keep them, either.”

“We've already claimed them, little girl. You don't know how to play a game of war, do you?” Neither you nor Isabel missed the titan’s use of the plural. Multiple spies? It was a worse feeling than you’d expected, sitting in your gut. Luckily, Isabel only shot you a scared glance before picking herself mentally back up.

“Don't you dare condescend to me,” Isabel spat, and you couldn't help but look up as she literally stepped right in front of the titan, whose face you couldn't recognize. She poked a finger into the thing's chest, glaring at them with hardened eyes. “I know how to play a good game - but with you not exactly knowing the meaning of good, I don't see how you're the best opponents.”

Farlan lunged forward and grabbed Isabel's wrist, pulling her back to his side before the titan could swipe at her. She staggered back before regaining her dancer's step, backing away and not daring to look anywhere but at the titan that she'd confronted. You looked all of the others over - there was no one that you knew there. But with your H/C hair and E/C eyes, how long could you do this without them recognizing those traits, and therefore revealing you? “Answer the question,” Levi said, dully ignoring how Isabel had stepped up with attitude. You supposed he was used to it. “What are you doing here?”

“We've come to crush you,” one of the smaller titans hiss, a warped twist of laughter making him sound utterly insane. “We've come to kill you all and take back our princess.”

You fought off the wave of nausea as Levi cursed softly. “There's another traitor here? Are you really telling me that we've been harbouring a titan princess? You expect me to believe that?”

“She's a clever one, our princess,” the small titan crooned, his voice taking on an awed tone. “There was a human who took her and slayed our King whilst he did it. But our princess let herself be taken, to come here - so that she could betray them at the last moment! Our princess will come and lead us.”

You could have smiled at the tale. At the time, it had worked so spectacularly - once you'd been accepted into the school, you'd immediately watched for any titan activity. The absence of it told you what you needed to know - if they had come for you, it would be because they believed you were a traitor. Titan honour was a strange thing, but it was there. But they hadn't come for you - they'd stayed away. And that had told you that somewhere, there was a titan kingdom that believed their princess was still theirs, was still loyal to them. You'd given yourself the scar on the back of your neck so that if they ever found you, they'd think that you were still theirs.

“Who?” Isabel said, and you nearly fainted at the sound of the unending sadness hidden underneath the tones of fury. She didn't want to believe that anyone in the school had betrayed her so spectacularly. “What is the name of this monster?”

The titan laughed; he tipped back his cloaked head and roared, exposing yellow sharpened fangs. “You'd try and kill our Princess, wouldn’t you? Why on earth would we tell you her name?” Isabel opened her mouth to protest, looking to you for fiery support, but you merely shook your head at her. The smaller titan glanced at you quickly, obviously wondering why you weren't talking as much as your companions. 

In a moment of pure panic, you saw his eyes widen with recognition - H/C hair. Y/A years old. You saw sparks of utter delight and relief flood into his animalistic eyes and knew, right then and there, what you had to do. You stood up straight, pulling your spine from its comfortable slouch into an upright line, and tossed your head to the side. “Don't worry, Isabel. We'll get their Princess before they do - I don't need a name. I'll find her myself.”

All the while, you sent a glowering glare to the titan. He seemed to immediately catch on - maybe it was your stance, or the aura you sent out. Even Levi paused to check that you were still okay; you saw his fleeting gaze out the side of your vision as you stared at the titan head-on. He fell silent, allowing the other titans to make up for his silence. They snarled, not catching on as quickly as their fellow, and began crouching in a battle stance. You sneered at them, all panic and fear shoved right down so that you didn't let them know about it. 

“Don't even think about attacking us head on right now. If we cannot find your princess, I'll march my army to meet you as soon as the sun has fully risen. If you attack us before that...”

“Then what?” The final two in the party of titans speak. “What happens if we do?”

“Then I'll show you what hell you've been missing while you've been hiding.”

It was a dangerous line that you were toeing - but the smaller titan seemed to catch onto the double meaning in your words - a double meaning that you'd deliberately put there. Levi and the humans would think that it was a death threat to the titan army, and wouldn't suspect a thing. But the small titan fell right into the trap of thinking that it meant you'd turn against your own human army, and show them the Princess that they wanted so desperately.

Farlan immediately spun on his heel, catching both your and Isabel's wrist in his hands. He stalked back to the small, meagre army of students with Levi bringing up the rear. “What was that, Y/N?!”

“Excuse me?” You asked, reaching the edges of where students were settled. You hardly wanted to argue within their hearing, but Farlan seemed incessant. “You were right there beside me! You know that I just bought us time!”

“You've just bought us war!” Farlan yelled quietly, something that you'd never even thought possible. It was to protect the people around you, you realized, to spare them from panic. “You've just gone and guaranteed the fact that most of us will die here!”

“Was this not supposed to be a battle?” You asked frostily. “If we delayed it here, we'd only fight it later. Are you really that insane to give them that chance? If we don't meet them here, they'll only catch on to our weakness.”

“Y/N,” Isabel said, and it took you a second to realize that she hadn’t used the light tone to her voice that she always used to call your name. “You're forgetting the traitors. The spy is back with the army - they'll have told them everything about us. And the princess of titans... I've heard stories about her. She's meant to be part of a pair.”

“You mean twins?” Farlan said, looking at her. “They have two heirs to a throne of monsters? Why do they need their princess back so badly, then?”

“I don't know the details, but their princess is meant to be a twin to someone – not a literal twin, but as close as siblings… Or lovers. The whispers call them the dancers of death - the pair forged in hell. Where one of them lacked in skill, the other would make up for it in great amounts.”

“But they're only concerned about their princess,” Levi said quietly, dangerously. “So the pair have been separated, I'll bet. They have one twin, and we have the other. We basically have ourselves a hostage, if we can find her.”

“So find the princess,” Farlan said. “And then maybe we can get ourselves out of the war that you've brought upon us,” he added, looking at you with accusation in his eyes. 

“This war has been waged for centuries,” you spat back. “And forgive me for wanting this particular battle now and not later, when I might not be able to fight in it.”

Farlan stalked away to where Sasha and Connie were waiting, awkwardly knowing somehow that you guys were having a little battle between you. You knew that they would know talk about battle plans, of formations and weapons. “Y/N,” Isabel said, looking out blearily into the distance. “They're sending someone else back to talk to us.”

You turned back and watched the lone titan ride a horse closer. Levi stayed silent as you and Isabel both waited patiently as it neared, and you tried not to hiss as Isabel gripped the pommel of her sword anxiously. Students around you muttered in fear at the nearing titan, the cloak flying out behind it like it was nothing more than a shadow.

However, it stopped a hundred meters away from you, the horse rearing to a dramatic halt. “The bright-eyed one,” it called. “Where is the one with the bright eyes?” Isabel stiffened as she took two steps forward. You recognized the voice just a second after she must have done - it was the one that she'd fearlessly confronted. “I have a message. You can call it a little tip to even up the playing game.”

“We don't need any tips,” Isabel said, her voice iron and flame and wind.

“Ah, but this one's interesting,” the titan sang. “One of our spies said that she'd marked the Princess with the mark of her family - to protect her. Any of our own would see the mark and know that she was not to be harmed, even if we were initially fooled that she were a human.”

“Why would you tell us that? Don't you stupidly adore your Princess?” Isabel shouted, as the wind suddenly howled in your ears. Mark of her family - the spy was part of the First Family, the protectors. The mark was obviously your tattoo - and now everyone could find it. And it had protected you, from every titan that had seen it. Eren had it too, for some obscure reason – had it been to protect him, too? 

“Between you and I, bright-eyes,” the titan called back, already starting to guide its horse away. “I know that our Princess would only find this highly amusing.”

If only you'd been allowed, if only your life wasn't on the line, you would have snarled at him that no, she most certainly did not. 

***

“Eren had a tattoo as well,” Isabel explained to Levi, who was looking like he might just murder her for bringing up the loud-mouthed boy in the middle of a battle strategy session. “But they took him. Now we're just looking for a girl with that same tattoo... But where would it be?”

“Do I look like I know?” Levi hissed, his expression tortured and twisted. You walked closer to him, brushing his hand with your fingertips. Your skin prickled as you touched him – but then he pulled his hand away, too calculated to be accidental. You ignored the flicker of hurt that the simple move whipped across your heart – it was clear he didn’t need the distraction of your touch when people’s lives were at stake. As he and Isabel gathered a few other trusted people, starting to sort out positions and weapons and plans, you stayed silent.

Isabel kept looking towards you, hoping to hear your input, hear a calculation or a nod. But at this point, you didn't care about your own life as much as you wanted to save everyone that was waiting for you to find a plan to indeed save them all. Isabel, darling Isabel was walking around like she was already in her grave. And you'd never seen Levi look so sad.

Students had started to position themselves thanks to Sasha and Connie. They were forming squadrons, and placing them defensively across the plain, preparing themselves mentally and physically for the fight ahead. There was a small stretch of forest, and they were using that to their full advantage - placing people who had mastered 3DMG among the trees as a make-shift ambush. Archers were heading up the small hill, and all those who were left were counting on their swords.

Levi, Isabel and you were left in the same place that you had been just a few minutes ago, receiving the message from the titan that may just serve to doom you yet. The sun had yet to begin rising, but light still began to grace the clear sky above. As you began to see those people around you with more clarity, you felt a great sense of calm - you had a plan. It was stupid and reckless and dramatic.

In other words, it was perfect.

You walked away from Isabel and Levi, leaving them debating the unlikely possibility that they could find and use the titan princess. Levi watched you walk away with exasperation in his eyes. ‘Going somewhere, Brat?’ He didn’t have to say the words to know that you heard them in his expression.

You rolled your eyes and smirked at him charmingly. ‘I have to get somewhere away from you, most definitely… Or else, I’ll go mad.’

He didn't reply to you other than a slight curl of his lip, going back to listening to Isabel. The girl was trying to damn hard to make it work, to find a way for the human army to win. At this point, you felt like you'd sell your soul to help her. So you grabbed a second year girl, who squealed in shock as you tugged on her arm. “Listen; do you know who I am?”

“P- Pride,” she said, her eyes darting everywhere that may have provided escape. You grinned slightly then, knowing that you'd chosen your helper just fine. 

“Good,” you breathed. “I need you to do something for me...”

***

“Found a way to win yet?” Farlan asked, coming up to where you stood, just a few meters away from where Isabel and Levi were debating. You looked up at his drawn face, and felt a rush of affection. This was a boy no longer - in a short few hours, Farlan had grown up. 

“I'm Y/N L/N,” you said, feebly drawing confidence from your own statement. “I always have a way to win.”

The pathetic ploy worked - Farlan surprised you by laughing, his eyes crinkling into a grin. “Listen, Miss Pride... I'm sorry. You're right about the war and this battle. I shouldn't have shouted at you for looking after the greater good and not just our little army here.”

You look at him, and sigh deeply. “I'd forgive you, but you doubted the great Pride...I don’t know if I can truly forgive that.”

“I'd think that you were insane if you thought that you could,” Farlan admitted, and you watched as his eyes lit up as Isabel spun around and hugged him fiercely. You raised an eyebrow suggestively at him, and your grin only widened as he glowered at you and stuck his middle finger up at you from behind Isabel. 

“There's no way of finding the Princess unless we get every single girl naked,” Isabel said into Farlan's chest, and he choked in surprise before looking at you for an explanation. As you stayed silent, shrugging at him, he turned to Levi in utter bewilderment. 

“We got a message when you were off sulking - the titan princess has a tattoo,” Levi obliged his friend, and the two boys looked at each other for a moment before Farlan lightly pushed Isabel away from him.

“Say that again,” Farlan breathed.

Levi raised an eyebrow, but didn't question it. “The titan princess has a tattoo that looks like this, somewhere on her body." He sketched the cruel and crude shape into the dirt with a stick quickly, before looking up at Farlan. “I don't suppose that you've seen a tattoo like that on a girl's body, have you?” You could tell from his tone that it was a rhetorical question, that he really did not expect an answer.

But Farlan just looked at him, and then looked at you.

“As a matter of fact, I have.”

It was like you had a countdown until the end of your life.

The boy who'd once asked you on a date looked at you like you were the scum of the earth; he looked at you like he could set you on fire, right here and right now; he looked at you like you were every bit of the monster that you were. 

Mentally, you started counting. Counting until you'd be dead.

Ten.

Before Levi and Isabel could react to what he had just said, Farlan's eyes glared deep into yours as he stormed over to you and grabbed your arm. Without another word, he just dragged you further away from Levi and Isabel, who just watched in confused wonder to your developments. Instead of yanking your arm away, however, you merely followed Farlan meekly, silently waiting for his next words.

As soon as you were far from earshot of the other two, Farlan swung you around and grabbed both of your shoulders harshly, his fingers digging into your skin. His eyes darted down to your neck, seeking for the black mark that somehow, someway, he knew existed. You'd thought you'd been careful; how long had he known about the tattoo? Snarling to himself, he tugged the collar of your shirt to the side, revealing the mark. You gasped slightly, the cold air kissing your collarbones.

“You... You're a traitor?” Farlan whispered hoarsely. “Petra was right, oh god...”

“I am most definitely not a traitor,” you said, making your voice high and clear. “If I was, I'd have killed everyone by now. We both know I'm good enough for that.” Farlan met your stone gaze with cold fury, and you silently prayed that he could hear the truth behind your words.

“A titan princess...” He whispered to himself. “You're royalty to those things... Someone helped you escape them, they said. Who was it? Is there another traitor in our midst?” 

“Are you not listening to me?!” You cried, knowing that slowly, Farlan was slipping away from you, further and further into his own fear. “I'm telling you, if I was the traitor, I'd have killed you right now, right here. Then I'd take everyone else's lives. But I'm not! I'm still standing right here, telling you that you're safe from me. Surely you can tell that I love everyone here?”

“Shut up with your lying words and just tell me… Are you the princess that they speak of?” Farlan said simply, his eyes not leaving your tattoo.

You bit your lip for a moment, eyeing him frankly. It had been so long since you’d spoken about your heritage – and now he was forcing to acknowledge the truth that you only truly saw in your dreams. “I am a titan princess,” you started. "I'm a titan princess, but I am not that bloodthirsty, titan brute that they believe me to be. I never went through the operation; there was no one that helped me. I killed my own father and fled.”

“But you're their princess! It was one thing to believe that you were brought up by titans - that would have been alright. But to be their figurehead, to be their princess of all things! Can't you see that this is another matter?”

“Farlan, you don't believe that I'm a titan,” you said, praying that your intuitions were right. “If you did, you would have told everyone immediately who I was. But you didn't - that's why we're here, talking about right and wrongs and princesses. You don't believe that I am a titan, Farlan, and I'm telling you that you are correct. Is that not enough?”

Farlan loosed a deep breath. “I'm sorry, Y/N.”

“What?” You cocked your head at him, confusion at his conceding. Did you really win him over? But then Farlan looked over your shoulder at something else, his eyes deep with regret. 

“You heard her, loud and clear,” Farlan raised his voice, and you froze as you slowly looked behind you. “You heard her admit that she's the princess that they’re all seeking.”

A sea of people were standing not ten meters away from you both, all of their faces set with fear, anger and disgust. Isabel was swaying on her feet, her hands clamped over her mouth. Her green eyes were watering, and you yearned to go to her, whisper a long forgotten secret just to see her smile at you again. But before you could take a step, a hand clamped around your neck and shoved you towards the ground, a foot kicking the inside of your knee so that your legs buckled into the mud. You gasped as the wet, cold ground hit your knees and as your back arched in an unnatural way. 

“I want to hear you say it to me,” the person who was holding you down snarled. Your eyes watered, and this time it was not entirely due to the pain in your knees. “I want to hear the words out of your goddamn mouth.”

“I'm the princess.” You breathed, hoping that your throat wasn't going to close up due to the tears in your eyes. The person let their breath go, and you felt it dance down your neck and raise goosebumps at the coolness of it. Their fingers tightened at your neck, squeezing your skin to the point that you were sure there were going to be marks left. “I'm their princess, Levi.”

You didn't say anything more as rope was wrapped around your wrists, tightening your limbs together as you were forced to kneel in the dirt. The human army got themselves into a ready position for attacking, throwing you hated glances. Just a few hours ago, they'd looked at you with awe and respect, thinking that their salvation was coming in your body. You decided that you liked those kinds of gazes much more than these - the ones that burned you where you knelt on the ground, your knees protesting almost as much as your wrists, where rope-burns had rubbed the skin bloody. 

Farlan, Levi and Isabel had left you in the dirt and had walked many meters away, and had later been joined by Connie and Sasha. You hadn't seen the pair's faces yet, and you didn't think that you wanted to - it would be so much harder to see the frowns on Sasha and Connie's faces when they were never without smiles. You knew that they were discussing how best to use you, how best to leverage their way around the war that they were fighting now that they had you.

The sun was rising. It illuminated the shadows of the titan army as they too, roused themselves into a craze. You watched them, wondering who was leading them if not your father. There were two options, you knew. But you wondered which one meant worse things to your own little human army. 

“I lied to you,” a voice startled you out of your reverie. Levi was crouched at your side, also looking out to the titan army. The sun illuminated his cheekbones and the rings underneath his eyes, making his grey eyes sparkle although there was a great sadness underneath. There was such a yearning to make that sadness go away that surprised you.

“I lied to you too, I suppose,” you joked humourlessly. “Do I ask what you lied to me about, or will you shove me down to the dirt again?”

Levi was silent for a few seconds, before he swallowed. “In that dungeon, when we went to free that awful brat... I said that I know quite a lot about you. I'm sorry. That was a complete lie.” Levi said it without emotion. You shuddered at his voice; it was emotionless and cold, but it still caressed your ears. He didn’t say anything else about what he’d said, about the words that had echoed around your heart with such power that you began to realize your own feelings about him.

“So you don't know what my favourite flower is?” You softly murmured, and smiled slightly as Levi sat up a bit straighter. “And you don't know what my favourite colour is?”

“Stop that,” Levi said, and you turned to look at him as his voice caught. You said nothing more, watching his face carefully, trying to burn it into your memory. He knew the important things about you – not the things that you’d been born into, but the things that you’d made and decided for yourself. You waited for him to start talking again, and you weren't disappointed. “They're – I mean, we’re going to use you.”

Your mouth went dry. “For negotiation?” You affirmed, and nodded as Levi's mouth tightened as an answer. “They'll – you’ll trade me for stopping this particular battle. That's probably the smartest move. I’d do the same if it weren’t me.” You couldn't bring yourself to think about what you were saying. The titans were going to get you back; you'd soon be back with cannibalistic creatures and wishing for death with Orion at your side and your Uncle causing hell. You'd be without bright eyes and laughing smiles; you'd miss humanity and its beauty so much. 

But that was selfish. At least if you went with the titans now, you'd preserve Isabel and your team for just a bit longer. You'd give up your humanity for them, without a second thought.

“Yes. That's the plan - to use you.” Levi said, his eyebrows creasing together. 

You breathed in softly. “Will it keep you and Isabel safe?” You knew the answer to it, but there was something about hearing the answer from Levi that made it necessary for you to ask it aloud. In the same way that he'd needed to hear you admit your royalty, you needed him to admit his safety at your sacrifice. 

“For a little while, at least.”

At that, you turned and grinned at him widely, closing your eyes so that you didn't have to see his grief or his disgust at you. “Then, Levi Ackerman, use me to my full extent.”  
The countdown guttered into life again.

Nine.

***

Levi and Farlan marched out to meet the titans in the middle of the expanse of field again, this time with you tied in front of them. You hadn't seen Isabel since the moment that she'd heard that you were the princess; maybe she'd been too disgusted with you to look at you for the final time. As you'd been heaved to your feet in order to be marched to the titans, you'd ordered Levi to open your blouse so that the tattoo was showing, knowing that you'd soon have to slip back into character.

You were going to become a character full of blood and hate and boiling sarcasm; one that had a voice that was made up of pure, dull knives. Most would choose sharp knives in a fight, you knew. But you’d long since discovered that in a fight, it was the dull knives that hurt more. Their hits echoed through muscle and bone, whilst sharp knives were sometimes so fast that you didn’t realize you’d been stabbed.

And you wanted them to realize it. You wanted the titans to feel it as you spat your poisoned words of death and dull, dull knives. As you walked across the field that would originally have been a battlefield, you broke yourself and everything you'd worked to become.

The comfortable slouch that you walked in became a straight-backed power walk, and the smile that you gave to people became one filled with the promise of death. As you destroyed all capacity for happiness, you heard Levi gasp behind you as he watched the girl that maybe he'd loved die and become a titan. You gave him a fleeting glance, the last look that you'd ever give him that hinted at the turmoil you were going through, and then hardened it. You knew, at last, that there was nothing human in your eyes.

A party of titans was coming to meet you in the middle of the battle field. You could tell that the leaders were in the party this time - your father's sword glinted in the sun that had fully risen now. Both armies held their breaths as their people went to meet in the centre.

There was going to be no looking down at the ground again now; you held your head up straight. If you were going to meet them, it would not be as a snivelling, afraid creature. It would be as a creature that lived for murder, a creature that was friends with Death and Pain. 

Your resolve to keep fear out of your eyes was immediately tested.

Accompanying the bearer of the sword was your Mother. She looked glorious, full of hate and passion, dressed in a red dress that looked alive under the light breeze that the morning sunlight. Her gaze was immediately upon you, her lovely little human daughter that she hadn't seen in a year. But this time, when she searched your face for anything mortal and breakable, she couldn't find anything. Your mother's face hardened as she finally realized that her human daughter had been broken into something crueller, more dangerous. Then there was your Uncle accompanying her, his wicked gaze turning approving as he took you in. Your body had grown and you showed it off, twisting it as you walked so that you showed off muscles and flesh that hadn't been there before. 

Then there was Orion. There had been a time where you'd have instinctively thought 'my Orion' but that time was long dead. It was a cruel thing wearing his face, and you'd never let yourself fall for it again. He held your father's sword with such ease, and you knew without asking that he was going to be King. You were never going to admit that he was going to be your King; just the King. 

And then there was the real challenge.

The spies had accompanied their true leaders to greet the Princess that they'd spent the past year protecting. They'd always been at your side, watching as you demonstrated your skills and murdering technique. They'd acted like your friends, watching as your human self lorded herself over them, knowing exactly who you had been the entire time.

Reiner and Bertoldt looked down from your gaze to stare at the mud at your feet. Your blood boiled and howled to punish them for being traitors, for selling out the school that you had been sure they'd loved to the titans. They'd acted like brothers to you, lifting you up onto their shoulders and staying at your side when you were in the hospital. 

And now they revealed that they were titans.

And then there was her. 

The door to your room at the dormitory had been broken so many times by Isabel and Sasha that it must have been too easy to sneak in and mark your skin with the tattoo that had granted you safety from all titans that saw it. She'd probably been the one that was waiting to let the forty titans into the school that day that you'd beaten all of them. 

Annie Leonhardt didn't look down in shame as you stared at her. She met your E/C killing stare straight on with ice blue eyes that were clear and without doubt. She'd spent the past year of her life protecting you - you now realized it was because she truly believed that you were deserving of it. She'd follow you to the ends of the earth - that's what her eyes were saying. But she was a titan - and her tattoo on her collarbone showed it. 

She met your eyes and knelt onto the mud, and Reiner and Bertoldt only hesitated for the briefest of moments before copying her.

You heard Levi's uneven breathes of fury deepen as you neared the place where they’d stopped. Orion had stopped moving first, and so they all tugged themselves to a halt. The rope that was tied to your wrists was harshly tugged, rubbing and biting at the skin there. Feeling nothing of the pain, you merely stopped and stared at Orion, who took a step forward.

“Hello, Princess.”

Those words would have once caused you to flinch. But that girl, that lovely human girl who would have flinched and glanced towards Levi… She was dead. So instead you disregarded him and his useless words, tossing him aside with your gaze to remind him just who, exactly, you were. You saw his nostrils flare in his anger and felt a rush of enjoyment. A year ago, he'd known exactly which buttons to press to annoy or upset you. But now you were different; you were now the one who knew which buttons to press. So you focused on the three things that had lived beside you as humans for the past year.

And purred in your lovely, new, and evil voice:

“Hello, traitors.”

Eight.


	31. Chapter 30 - The Declaration

“Y/N,” your Mother murmured, softly and utterly in command. Even in your new skin of confidence and arrogance, you couldn't help but turn your head to listen to her. “My daughter has, at last, returned.”

“Sorry for the delay,” you smoothly said; your face was cool enough that you knew that it was not making a very pretty expression. Your smirk felt more like a direct show of your teeth, a challenge to everyone. Levi and Isabel looked startled at your words, at the purr and the threat behind it, and Farlan's gaze seemed to boast at your words. It was as though he was taking what you said as a confirmation as his claims. But that was good. If you could fool Farlan, then it was possible to fool the others.

Seven.

“How were you captured?” Orion hissed, drawing your attention loosely to him. “How did they manage to tie you up?” You raised an eyebrow as though you found him to be of little concern and then looked back at Annie, who was watching the ground at your feet. 

“Speak, traitor,” you called to her, her icy blue eyes meeting yours with reverence. She rose from her kneeling position as you continued to address her, her eyes flitting between you and Orion. He was not used to being ignored, you gathered – but that was going to change. “Answer the questions that you know I want answered.” Annie smiled a terrible smile and inclined her head to Reiner, who bit his lip and frowned.

“We thought the humans would take you to one of three places – the school, the city or the Survey Corps. So we split up and went one to each. I went to the city, Bertoldt to Survey and Annie insisted on going to the school. She sent word immediately – about your abilities, about your reputation. I mean, the fact that you could identify death without even looking at the body would have been a little suspicious to begin with; you just didn't seem to care about the death and the murdered people. You were in your element - and that called us to you immediately. No human can be that brilliantly calm when it comes to the dead.”

You stuck up your chin. Titan traits had always been well ingrained into you - it's why you still snarled and hissed when people irked you, and why you still used your fingernails to heave yourself up. The shiver that you felt when death was near was just another one of those things, those attitudes that you'd picked up after being constantly surrounded by death and his cruel, cruel ways. 

“And then there was your swagger, and that impossible confidence. You practically screamed royalty,” Reiner continued, a laugh threatening to warp his words before he stiffened. "And then there was your scar, on the back of your neck."

You allowed yourself to smile a delicious smile that didn't require any acting whatsoever. You'd given yourself that scar, preparing yourself so that if titans ever found you, they'd think that somehow you'd become a titan through the very same ritual that they'd all gone through. The scar had hurt to be put there, and you'd rubbed it down with salt to stop whatever clean healing could have happened. With just a little pain, you'd created some way of escape from a dire fate. Reiner had fallen right into it.

“Scar?” Your mother snarled, and at first you were taken aback by the surprise in her voice. “Y/N L/N had no scar other than the ones on her back.”

“And on my legs,” you added offhandedly. “And arms. Everywhere that you look, there will be scars there… Titan training was brutal.” 

Your mother sent you a murderous look that you returned only too happily. Orion snarled and took a step forwards, probably to evaluate the scar on your neck for himself, but Levi yanked on your ropes to get you stumbling back towards him. You brushed against him slightly, falling into a crouch at his side to regain your balance. You looked up at him to give him a dirty scowl - not entirely faked - but then you were stunned at the rage simmering in his eyes as he looked at Orion.

“Don't you touch her,” Levi snarled, in the beautiful way that human voices could. You felt a shiver down your spine as you beheld the threat in those few words, and whimpered inside as you saw Orion's defensive snarl also came to play. Outwardly, you drew your lips away from your teeth and bared them at Orion, not daring to do anything more whilst they were having their little dominance battle. 

“Don't you tell me what I can or can't do with my own, human.” Orion looked very much like he would lunge at you and heave you away from Levi bodily, but Levi's aura was that of such power that even you would have thought twice about taking away something that he had claimed. 

“Show us the scar then, human,” your mother hissed. “Unless you'd rather us look for ourselves.”

Levi's hands slackened on the rope just long enough for his cold fingers to lightly caress the skin around your neck. He allowed himself three seconds before brutally sweeping your H/C hair {or moving your hijab just enough to see your neck} over your shoulder to reveal the straight scar across the skin, marring your neck. He pulled on the ropes surrounding your wrists to tug you to one side, showing the scar to all the titans watching and scanning eagerly. 

“Where did you get that scar? The ritual was never performed properly on you,” your mother cut in, with your uncle stepping smoothly away from her as she radiated an aura of tension that had the hairs on your arms rising. 

Your mind worked fast, searching for something. “Grisha Yeager,” you said, spitting the name as though it was poison. It was just a name that you ferociously hoped would mean nothing to both titans and humans here. Levi, at least, was the only person present who knew that the scar on your neck was self-inflicted. He was the only person that mattered whether or not he knew the truth. “He performed it when I was in the infirmary for a short time.”

“You were in the infirmary?” Orion sniggered. “Perhaps you have indeed lost your touch, if you had to go to the infirmary.”

Both Reiner and Bertoldt snarled at the claim; their faces twisted into things of beast-like muscle, showing off their glistening teeth and furious eyes. You grinned, making your eyes shine with insanity. “I was in that infirmary so often that they'd reserved a space for me. I was in there after I'd fought my way through thirty grown titans in a godforsaken dungeon, after they had starved themselves into feral craziness. I was in there because I was shot with a poison dart after I'd taken down forty three titans outside the gate of the school without getting so much as a scratch on my body. If you're going to mock me, darling Orion, you might want to back it up with some evidence.”

Orion seemed to struggle with building a smart retort. “You took down your own?”

“They threatened my life,” you crooned, grinning widely. “They were not my own. They were scum that strayed from their loyalty to me... And so, I ended them.”

Six.

Annie looked like she was fiercely enjoying watching Orion squirm. Your mother, also, looked at you with something akin to pleasure in her cold, cold eyes. “There is no doubt that you are my daughter, and that you are a true titan. Let Y/N L/N go, human, and flee back to your tall walls with your tails in between your legs.”

“If we let her go,” Farlan interrupted, and although you felt a wave of hatred at the sound of his voice, you had to admire the stupidity and the guts to interrupt the Queen of titans. “You will leave this battle for another day. Are those the terms?"

“We are not the ones who shall leave this battle,” your Uncle said, smirking at Farlan as though he was wondering where the flesh would taste the nicest. “We shall stay here and watch you run away, like the cowards that all humans are.”

Levi sighed as Farlan opened his mouth to object, but there was a thump as Levi hit Farlan on the shoulder. You lightly stood up from your crouch and raised a daring eyebrow at Levi as you held your tied wrists forward. Because your back was to the titans, you let your face relax into a stone cold demeanour, but kept your bodily stance strong. Levi kept his eyes on yours as he pulled out your twin daggers and swiped one through your bindings, before shoving them both into your hands. You looked at each other for a single moment, with you mouthing a single word before you smirked evilly at him and the moment was gone.

With your daggers back in your hands, you didn't hesitate to swipe at Levi's head with the blade. He ducked swiftly, leaping daintily back so that he was out of harm’s way. Farlan, however, was not so fortunate - the handle of your right dagger found its way right between his eyes, stunning him as you then whirled and kicked him in the gut. As he spluttered, Levi leaped back to his side and tugged him away, backing away from your party with a ferocious gleam in his eyes. 

You did not pursue them. You merely stood with your head held high, with the wind caressing your hair and the laughs of titans at your backs as you all watched Levi and Farlan lead their way back to their army without you. You breathed in the air, closing your eyes.

And as you breathed out, all that Y/N L/N had become slipped away into the dancing wind.

Five.

***

“Why didn't you kill them?” Orion demanded; his rage was evident as he spat the words at you. You didn't hesitate to take a swing at his head; the thump that your fist made as it hit his temple was deliciously satisfying. His eyes widened a fraction in bewilderment before the fatigue hit him, and he was tugged to his knees by sheer exhaustion. You grinned widely at him, kneeling before you in the dirt.

“For future reference, that is how you shall address me. I rather enjoy you kneeling.” The words came easy now; there was no need to worry about offending the humans that had now left you behind. Orion growled a wordless growl, and you only smiled dangerously at him before holding up your hands. Orion glared hatred at you, before lifting up your father's sword and pressing it - only a little too harshly - into your palms. You swiped it from him, loving the gleam of silver in the new day's light. You looked back down at Orion as you swung it around in a few practice swipes, cleaving through the air. Orion's eyes, albeit filled with hatred at this new thing you had become in the year away from each other, was also filled with something else. Excitement, maybe anticipation… Admiration. You wallowed in it.

“Such a fine blade,” you mused. “However, this is no good for dirty fighting. I shall keep my daggers; you shall keep your blade.”

You took the sword by its sharp blade and presented the handle down to him; the surrounding titans froze. They all recognized the gesture for what it was - a test. If he did not take it carefully, slicing your hands, then there would be a serious dispute between the two of you... The kind of dispute that was settled through a fight, where all kinds of dirty play were allowed. 

However, Orion lifted the sword ever-so-carefully from your two hands and rose up to stand tall in front of you. He lowered his head, not looking you in the eyes as he inclined it further down, sliding the sword into his belt. “Thank you, Princess.”

You smiled back at him; once, just hearing those words would have caused you to flinch. But now they were just words, just a symbol of reverence between a princess and her most trusted knight.

“My pleasure, Prince.”

Four.

Orion's nose flared in slight surprise, but you didn't allow him to think about what your words had meant as you stepped around him to meet your mother. There were no embraces, no fancy words - just an inclination of heads. You uncle clasped his clawed hands together, grinning madly. “So, shall we hunt ourselves some humans?”

Annie stepped to your side. “I thought that the deal meant we didn't hunt them today.”

“Deals are for humans,” Orion interjected, sharing the same evil smile with your uncle. “We're titans. We are not bound by pretty words and promises; only blood.”

Your mouth ran dry. Annie sank back down into silence, ever the silent watcher. Reiner and Bertoldt gave each other looks in the way that very close people could decipher. However, you spotted the slight panic in their eyes as they considered butchering the people that they'd spent a year with. Although you were still a human and they weren't, it seemed that spending a year with humans meant that it was impossible not to come to love them and their vibrancy.

But everyone looked to you now, awaiting your decision. You knew instinctively that if you walked away now, you'd never be able to truly command or lead them. They would always look to your uncle or to Orion to rule them - and not you. So you trusted in your little humans, who now held whatever remained of your heart. You trusted in them one final time.

And so you squared your shoulders, palmed your daggers and grinned at Orion like you were beginning to like what you saw.

“Let's go hunting, Prince.”

Three.

 

~Farlan's Point of View~

“She just slipped right back in,” I seethed, anger and fear screaming in my mind, creating a whirlwind of chaos that would not allow any sense of reason to reach me. My hands were shaking as we turned our backs on Y/N and her fellow beasts; I clenched them into fists as we neared our human army, with their faces turning to look at us with as much fear as I felt. 

Isabel didn't say a word as she walked ahead of us, her head held high. I didn't have to look at her to know that her eyes were glittering with fury. I sighed as I watched her stalk straight to her horse and grab Strawberry's reigns, signalling to everyone that we were being allowed to go without a fight. I glanced back at the royal party that we'd left in the middle of the field - as they'd promised, they were going to watch us run away like the cowards that we were. But if our bravery was the price that we had to pay for our lives, I'd pay it in full. I'd own the title of coward if only Isabel and Levi were allowed to see one more day. 

A flash of silver winked at me from the royal party. Y/N was waving a sword around, the length of the fine blade catching the light as she whipped it through the air, very nearly taking the head off of the titan that knelt at her feet. I felt a wave of nausea rush through my stomach as I contemplated what I'd done - sold one of our own to titans to save the rest. It wasn't as though she had fought it, though - when I had gone to get her to confess, she so readily defended herself. But it was weak - she knew that. Maybe she really did just want to go back to her family of titans. Could she really be seen as one of our own? The question sparked many responses within my mind, causing my breaths to become shorter and raspier. 

But I shook it off. I was allowed to leave - to live. We were all being allowed to live our lives for just a while longer.

My breathing came easier as I was preparing to leave. Levi was a fusion of utter tension and fury at my side, and I knew that it had nothing to do with the betrayal of Y/N. “Levi, she is a traitor,” I try to say, and instantly regret it. Levi whipped his head around with murder in his eyes and his arm shot out to grab my collar, tugging me closer to him bodily. 

“Shut your filthy mouth,” he snarled, yanking my head so that his forehead was smacked into mine. I did my best not to shrink at the fury in his eyes - less than five inches from mine - and failed miserably. “If I ever hear anyone say that that girl is a traitor again, I'll gut them myself.”

“Levi, she nearly took your head off when she swung those daggers around. She tried to kill you.” My voice was strangled as I tried to inch away from him and his pure vibrant fury, but his fist only tightened on my collar. “If you hadn't pulled me back, she'd have killed me too. If you don't call that a betrayal in itself - let alone the fact that she is literally the princess - then you're insane.”

Levi snarled as he pushed me away with such force that I went stumbling against my horse. “You have no idea what you're talking about. Do you know what her final word was to me? When she looked at me, before she swung those daggers at my head?”

I swallowed nervously, a deep terror awakening at the fact that although I'd gotten rid of one monster, I'd always have this one to deal with. “I don’t know - die? I don't know how a monster's mind works.”

“She told me to duck.”

The unending sorrow that those little words carried stopped me in my tracks. I remembered that as Y/N swung her daggers, and Levi immediately ducking, I'd thought that his reflexes were impossibly fast. He shouldn't have been able to see that slice coming - and he hadn't. He'd just blindly trusted in the girl that I'd handed over to the titans on a silver platter. “Why? Why would she tell you to duck? I thought she couldn't physically have feelings - that was the titan surgery.”

“Y/N L/N never had the surgery. That scar is a fake; she gave it to herself in case this situation ever came up.”

“Then why the hell would she play along so beautifully, Levi?”

“Because she wants to save every single life in this army,” Isabel's voice cut in smoothly, laced with glass and poison. “She loves more fiercely than anyone I've ever met; of course she'd damn herself to a life as a titan to save us all.” I dared to look her in the eyes and my soul shook at the sight of the tears collecting there. “Even if some of us weren't worth saving.”

Isabel had left Strawberry in the hands of Sasha, who was sobbing silently a few meters away. She stood proudly, not taking any notice of the fact that she was the shortest one here, with her arms crossed tightly across her chest and a murderous look on her face. 

“You'd forgive her?” I asked, my voice tight. 

“There is nothing to forgive Y/N L/N for,” Isabel replied. “And to be perfectly honest... There is nothing that she could do that I wouldn't forgive her for. Because I know that whatever she does... It's for the greater good of somebody else.”

“You love her,” I said. It was not a question - more of a statement to myself, to make the feeling of hatred towards my cowardice bigger. 

“Damn right I love her,” Isabel finally broke, yelling the words at my face. “And now she's gone, thinking that she's got to sell her life away for my happiness. She's not a traitor - were you the one that saw her the night she ran away from her titan family? No. But I was the one. I saw her when she was dirty and starving, her eyes dull and her hands bloodied from dragging herself away from something in complete terror. I saw her when she was absolutely terrified of the sight of me, thinking that I was a titan coming after her. I saw her when she sobbed with the most heart-wrenching cries simply because I told her that she had a choice in life. So hell yes, do I love that girl for everything.”

My mouth ran dry, and I could have sworn that Levi blinked a little too frequently than what was normal. “You too?” I asked him, wanting him to react like he normally did when I teased him about a potential love interest - snorting and wrinkling his nose in disgust, before proclaiming her as a worthless brat. 

“I once told her that I thought that I was in love with her, yes.”

My breaths came in gasps. My vision began to blur with the panic, the realization that I'd sent the girl that both my siblings absolutely loved in their souls to her inevitable demise. But that was not entirely what was making me feel sick - it was the fact that I'd do it all again, exactly as before, just to see Isabel mad and devastated rather than dead. 

As I was about to faint, Sasha's sobbing suddenly got cut off. I made myself snap out of the panic attack that was tightening in my chest and my breaths, and stood up straighter. I'd made my choices; now I had to live with them. I glanced at Levi and Isabel, hoping that they'd look at me with smiles or some worthless expression, but then I was immediately captured into their pale, sunken faces as they gazed at something behind me.

I whirled to look, my head spinning. As I beheld the titan army cheering, my legs started shaking so much that I doubted they'd be able to hold me for long. I heard Isabel's sigh as she understood that there would indeed be a war here.

“You said you'd forgive Y/N for anything,” I murmured, knowing full well that everyone was able to hear me as our human army quieted with terror. “Would you forgive her if she marched her titan army to ours and slaughtered us all?”

***

Our human army couldn't run. The titans had split up, forking around us in an easily recognizable flanking manoeuvre; I could almost hear Y/N's mocking voice as they surrounded and caged us with laughable ease, telling us that we were fools, that I was a fool for letting her go to the titans. As I readied my sword, my fingers shaking as they gripped the leather bound hilt, I found myself at Sasha's side. 

Levi and Isabel were surrounded by the top tacticians of our year, discussing any way to get us out of here. I could sense their carefully blank aura even from where I was, over fifty meters away from them. It was better for them not to show fear, even if they felt it. An army needed a fearless leader - and even as I thought it, I felt a sour taste in my mouth. Our army only had a few pathetic humans to lead it, trying their best to keep fear at bay. But the titan army had several capable leaders, who had all practiced killing as though it was an art form.

And now they were going to slaughter us. It was almost laughable, the fact that I'd thought we'd be safe for at least a while longer. I'd trusted the titans, and handed over one of our most valuable fighters; we'd lost Annie, Bertoldt and Reiner too. I fiercely shut down that thought - I could barely get over Y/N's betrayal, let alone three more. 

“Sasha, it'll be alright,” I said, in order to help myself shut down the thought that I was going to be dead in less than an hour. I didn't care that my voice sounded as hollow as it felt. “Stop crying.”

“It won't be alright. I'd rather you just leave me to cry than lie to me with worthless words.” Sasha snapped, wearing the tears on her face with pride. “My best friend is with the titans, and now she's being forced to lead an attack that will leave most, if not all of us, dead. I think that I had reason enough to cry.”

“Sasha.”

I turned to see Connie just a few meters away, holding his bow loosely with a full quiver of arrows strapped onto his back. He didn't say anything more; he just looked at Sasha, who looked right back. As they spoke to each other with their eyes, in that special way that only absolute best friends could, I felt as though I was intruding. Levi and I had so often done the same - I'd felt that I could just have a full conversation with just a single glance. 

But Levi was no longer the Levi that I'd grown up with, the brother that I'd had in soul instead of mere blood. He'd gone and grown up behind my back, leaving me far behind in the dust. Despite myself, I couldn't bring myself to feel anger or bitter towards him for leaving me - only a sense of loss that echoed through my loneliness. Fate had decided that I was no longer needed at his side.

Not that it mattered now. Not when we were going to die.

But, if we were going to die, then I was making it my business to take as many titans as I could with me.

***

Our little human army was huddled in a circle, clutching their little weapons. Our archers were in the middle, surrounded by those clutching their favoured weapons - spears, swords and throwing blades. I had been placed, once again, at Levi's side as he kept his hands on his two swords. There was nothing to say between us now, not when our deaths had come to meet us.

Y/N L/N and her gruesome companion were no more than fifty meters from us; all titans looked to them, waiting for their command with baited breath. Her eyes, the piercing shade of E/C that they were, could be seen clearly across the field that separated us. Her titan had similar mocking eyes, but they gleamed with a certain madness that not even she could mimic. Dancers of Death, Isabel had called them. Seeing them there together, I could see exactly why.

“No final goodbye?” I asked, almost jokingly. There was a moment of silence where I wondered if Levi was going to whirl around and punch my lights out, but then he did something that surprised me more. He laughed as though he had somehow forgotten how, only to just remember.

“You, Farlan Church, never fail to surprise me.”

“And you, Levi Ackerman, never fail to amaze me.”

And thus, I had my final goodbye from the brother that I loved so much.

***

We were all going to die. I was too tired to think about the choices and conversations that had led us directly to this moment; if I had done even one thing differently, chances were that none of us would be here. Chances were that we'd all be happily behind our tall walls, safe from harm and Y/N's pride, with smiles on our faces. There were no final human words for the human army; we waited in silence for the titan army to make up their minds. I was beginning to wonder what Y/N was waiting for when a fierce yell tore through the air, startling both titans and humans alike.

I didn't think that I'd ever forget the moment that I saw Erwin Smith and Dot Pixis lead two armies made up of actual soldiers and students alike into battle. There was a great sense of blunt beauty as the humans tore through the titan army that surrounded us, sparking us into fighting our way out. The titans were trapped; they had been sandwiched between our army and the Survey Corps.

I yelled, forcing the strength of my voice to seep into my bones and help me clutch my sword tighter, with more surety. Levi didn't wait as I did. He gripped the reigns to his dark horse with a rare smile braving his face, and stormed into battle. Soon, I was swinging my sword left and right, cursing the sun's position for getting into my eyes. But even as I sliced and slashed at as many cloaked things as possible, I still managed to find myself instinctively scanning their hair, their face. 'They aren't Y/N,' seemed to be the only thought that echoed through my thoughts, and later, I would have thought that the battle actually didn't take long at all. 

That was because it didn't take long for the titans to fight their way out, cutting down soldiers as they went. Put simply, it was the sheer numbers that tipped our favour. The rest of the school had come to our aid, and had somehow got the attention of Erwin Smith to bring his army as well. 

I hadn't believed in luck before. But if it existed, then this was sure as hell proof. The aftermath was messy; the titans had fled in scattered disarray. No one knew where they'd be next. All that we knew was that we'd been spared the small amount of time it took for them to regroup around the princess and her twin. And we were grateful for it. 

Erwin Smith found me as I led the students back into position to travel back to the school, too tired to do a headcount and find the actual number of how many we'd lost. “Where is Y/N L/N?”

“She's doing her best to allow us to live,” I stated. I was too tired in my bones to war or argue with the bravery of that girl, now.

“Too damn right,” he replied. “Are you at all wondering how the Survey Corps got here in time to prevent that slaughter?”

“I thought Pixis contacted you.”

Erwin gave me a look. “You owe all the lives here to Y/N. She got a second year, well known to be the best at horse riding, to canter her horse all the way to where our base is. Y/N is the furthest thing from a traitor; she told us to hurry our asses up and save you all. She even told us what formation she'd get the titan army to be in, so that we could decide the best flanking position to be in to attack them. We didn't ask how she'd get them into the formation... But you owe your life to that girl, Farlan Church.”

As the Survey Corps split up from us, I gave the all-ahead signal to get our student body moving. Pixis merely gave me a look as he then took my place at the head, leading his students back to the safety of the school. I found Levi on his own, as the army of students and soldiers were really moving out this time, leaving the little number of bodies in a burning grave. He was looking out towards the forests, his eyes looking for something that was now very far away.

“Her body wasn't found,” he said, and I knew instinctively that he meant Y/N. “She's still alive.”

“And she knows that you think that you're in love with her.”

Levi still didn't move as he contemplated something. I gave him the reigns to Raven, his horse, and only then did he move. He heaved himself into the saddle, not bothering to take off his swords as though he'd need them again soon. I also sat on my horse beside him, allowing him to think his own thoughts without me talking.

But then Isabel cannoned herself to our side on Strawberry, her eyes alight. “So how are we going to rescue her?”

“I'm working on the plan,” Levi responded, and I couldn't help but grin at the sun as it steadily began to set. These people wouldn't give up on the girl. And so, neither would I. “All I know is two things.”

“Only two? Giving yourself a bit too much credit, I think,” Isabel teased, the three of us following the human army at the rear. 

“One - that I lied to her when I told her that I didn't truly know her.”

Isabel and I only watched the raven-haired male as he swallowed twice and sat up straighter in his saddle.

“And two - I am so impossibly in love with her.”


	32. Chapter 31 - The Ending Game

Softly, gently, snow fell down from the endless grey sky to land on the already white ground. The trees had long since lost their leaves, their twisted fingers scraping along the sky with no colours to tell of any sign of life; the lake that had once been bursting with fish and plants had frozen over, the glazed mirror distorting each of the man's fine features as he looked down with eyes that held every bit of sorrow that the sky seemingly felt.

This man didn't seem to feel the cold as it shoved against him, the bitter wind lashing at his body and drawing his hair into a dance of endless movement. He was dressed in white trousers and a brown jacket, the emblem of two wings embroidered on the back of it seemingly mocking the man and his lack of ability to fly. He wore it well; the numerous leather straps that decorated his thighs and chest were bound tightly, showing off his frame and muscular figure. 

Levi Ackerman did not mind being alone. If anything, he revelled in being one with the wind that bit him, with the cold that was steadily turning his fingers a pale, pale blue. He did not mind being alone when it was his birthday, on this particularly cold Christmas day. It gave him a chance to enjoy just having his thoughts to care about. He did not mind that he was alone while everyone else was together, surely, on this day of celebration. He was glad, if anything, that the students - those brave souls who had survived their battle with the titans - could feel happiness at all. 

But although he did not mind being alone, he did not like feeling lonely.

Because it was indeed loneliness that whispered to him using the wails of the wind, and loneliness that caused a few frozen tears to escape from his grey eyes. He sobbed, all alone and lonely on that cold hillside looking out along the frozen lake, he could not escape it - that haunting and empty feeling. He hugged himself, craving another set of arms instead of his own, and crouched down into a tiny ball so that his legs were up and close to his chest. He didn't lose his balance; he kept himself still even as the sobs hit his chest with sickening force, tearing their way up through his throat and into the silence of the snowy world around him. He didn't permit himself to wipe away the uncountable tears that danced and shimmered their way down his cheek, tracing an icy path down his marble face and to the grass that was hidden underneath the layers of snow. 

It had been two days since that battle in the wide, gaping field. It had been two days since the titans had faced a near-defeat at the hands of soldiers and students alike. It had been two days since Y/N had sacrificed herself to protect all of those brave students who were now chuckling at their presents, smiling at their friends as they stuffed themselves full of good, warming food. 

Levi didn't stop sobbing as he thought about Y/N L/N. He couldn't stop thinking about her, about where she might be and what she might be doing. With every breath, he prayed that she was still alive, still fighting. He wasn't too much of a fool to pray that she was alright; that hope had died along with her, as she'd given him that last farewell on the battlefield.

She had died on that field - or at least, some part of her had. He'd seen her E/C eyes shimmer with love and hope and joy, and then nothing at all. They had been dull, blank... Lifeless. The quirk of her mouth that he found so endearing had folded into a flat line; those lips that he'd loved had been pulled back into a snarl. Her snark and sass had disappeared into a burning pit of very real hatred. Her blush had turned into a flush that screamed insane. Unstable. Crazy.

Everything that had made her her... It had died. Levi supposed that he might as well have been the one to pull out his sword and run her through with it; the girl that he loved so much that it hurt... She'd gone. He'd destroyed her himself, in his desperation to save and protect. 

And that, more than anything, was why Levi Ackerman was sobbing, alone and lonely on a cold hillside. 

***

The pencil was a dead weight on her fingers. 

Isabel threw it down with a snarl, the thin piece of wood disappearing underneath her bed. Her stocking - a fiery red sock that had been a joking gift from Farlan once upon a time - remained untouched at the foot of her unmade bed, the presents inside glimmering with dying hope. She'd considered opening them; they were small gifts from teachers and the dorm mistress, Ilse. 

But she just couldn't do it.

Isabel Magnolia couldn't lift one finger to tear away pretty ribbons and paper whilst there was another stocking just next door, and in the room across the hall, as empty as the blank piece of paper right in front of her. Y/N and Annie wouldn't get to open any presents this year, and that small fact alone destroyed her.

It wasn't about the gifts; it was just that she couldn't go barging into Y/N's room and hear her yell using that voice, telling her to get out. She couldn't stick her tongue out at her friend and collapse into her bed, lying right beside her best friend's body and just savour having that peace. She couldn't go and wait for everyone to turn up in Y/N's room, and although she'd yell at everyone else to get out as well, Isabel would know perfectly well just how much she loved it.

Isabel knew that there was no way that she was just going to let Y/N throw herself away. She knew that she would never give up trying to get Y/N back, trying to save her. And so until that moment, Isabel would merely smile and grit her teeth. Because that moment would come, she told herself sternly. There would be a Christmas where she'd be able to smile at her friend whilst brandishing her stocking like a weapon, and not have to worry about titans or death or an attack.

Just because it wouldn't be this Christmas, it didn't mean that it was never going to happen.

Isabel stood up from her chair, her school uniform protesting as she stretched her arms above her head. She gave a long sigh at the sight of blank pieces of paper decorating her desk and stuck her tongue out, knowing that she wouldn't be able to draw for a long while. Inspiration had run dead; even if she just wanted to draw a little sketch of something harmless, it turned out bleak and morbid and not right. Isabel wasn't one to force something - and her artwork was not going to be forced to be perfect.

A sudden longing twisted her body towards her door, and before she knew it, she was outside Y/N's door in the hall. She gave a disparaging look at the old door handle, with the lock below it wrecked and useless from all the times that she herself had picked it. Isabel bit her lip as she considered the fact that Annie had used this to her advantage, using the beyond-useless lock in order to get past and tattoo the sleeping girl within.

Isabel didn't want to think about Annie, Bertoldt and Reiner. She really didn't want to. But she loved them, goddammit. But the more that she thought about it, the more it made sense. She'd noticed very early on that Annie didn't eat at meals, often only sipping water - she had even teased her about her lack of appetite. Isabel had considered Annie quite vain, starving herself in order to become slimmer - it was why she'd called her Lust, one of the seven deadly sins. But now, Isabel supposed, it was because of the fact that raw human flesh was not part of the menu.

When she thought of Reiner, all she saw was a big brother who gave her piggy-back rides when she became too tired to walk. She saw the boy that teased her about her wild hair, and the boy who was so concerned when she was coming down with a fever on a rainy night. She saw a boy who cared so deeply about the small things, like a sniffling nose. He was wrath and power; his rage at injustice was always so obvious when it came to sparring and physical battles. Reiner was the one drinking up information at all times, with an eager ear and an even more eager flow of questions.

And when she thought of Bertoldt, she saw a quiet shadow with an angel's smile. He was the whisper to Reiner's shout, the shadow to his light. Bertoldt didn't deign to speak to anyone - but to her, sometimes, he gave sweet smiles and sentences that seemed to contain the world with all of their insight. He was the one that held her hand when she had nearly collapsed in the forest when Connie and Sasha had been taken. He was the one that, that one sunny afternoon months ago, had climbed the oak tree and had thrown acorns at her, his eyes sparkling with delight at the calm. 

So Isabel kicked open Y/N's door and started crying at the sight of the bedroom that she'd become so used to. Falling to her knees on the carpet, Isabel wailed at the bedroom that had nobody in it, looking everywhere for a girl and the family that were long gone. Her green eyes sparked at the shadows, some innate hope that whispered that they could still be there. 

But it wasn't until her eyes rested underneath the bed that her interest was truly snagged. A sparkle glinted with the light that was streaming in from the hallway, the door still open from where she'd kicked it in. Isabel swallowed her sobs as she reached gingerly underneath the unused bed and grabbed a paper bag that was overflowing with presents.

Isabel held the bag to her chest and clung onto it tight, rocking back and forth on the floor as she decorated the paper bag with fresh tears.

***

Sasha woke up.

She wished more than anything that she hadn't. 

Connie also stirred as she sat up, her hair a mess around her head. Last night she hadn't even bothered to change out of her school uniform, and so now it was creased in multiple places that Ilse would surely have a very hard time getting out when she ironed it. Sasha looked over at her best friend as he sat up in the chair that he'd curled himself into, content to just be there with her and watch her, standing by to keep the nightmares away.

Connie had always been there with her. It was hard to think about who she was without thinking about who Connie was too. He was her partner, her best friend, her everything. When she was playful, he appeared with sticks and started a play fight. When she was serious, he turned up with biscuits and tea. 

But now Sasha was grieving, and he had no idea of what to do.

She hadn't eaten at all yesterday. She hadn't smiled when he'd appeared through her window, smiling softly at her messy room and at her. She'd just lied there on her bed, watching him as he curled himself into her chair and watched her with worried eyes.

And the worst part was that she couldn't be happy even if she wanted to. She desperately wanted to smile, to laugh with her best friend and play ninja. But she couldn't. Because if she made the move to punch him, she'd think about the girl that had taught her how to make a decent right hook. She'd think about the H/C haired girl that snuck out with her when she'd desperately needed help with her physical training, and had kicked her ass for hours into the night until Sasha had finally landed a hit. 

And if she thought about Y/N, she'd think about Reiner, who'd always laughed at her wild antics. And then she'd think of Bertoldt, who always gave her an exasperated look when she'd thrown stuff at him from a roof. Then, she would have to think of Annie, who would always roll her eyes at one of her jokes like she wanted to smile, but couldn't.

A wail tore through the walls, and Connie fell out of his chair in complete fear. His hands went straight to the knives that he always kept in his belt, and Sasha's hands fell into fists as she got up and ran for the door, throwing it open with deadly power. Connie was right behind her as she lightly sprinted in the direction of the wail, his knives winking at her as though reassuring her that they were there, waiting to protect her. 

But then she stopped as she saw Y/N's door open, continued sobs emitting from within. She swallowed as she waved her hand behind her, hearing the smooth slides of the knives being sheathed. She knew exactly who was in the room of her best friend. But to see Isabel, that strong girl who would never cry because it showed weakness, sobbing her heart out... Sasha didn't know if she could bear it.

As she was about to crumple herself, Connie stepped around her and into the room. Darling Connie, who always knew what she needed, walked into the room and shut the door behind him, giving Sasha the time she needed to build herself back up. He did not dishonour her by asking if she was alright, or give her any reassuring glances. He just let her be her with quiet belief that she'd fix herself.

So Sasha just stood there, breathing deeply. Girls didn't come out of their rooms like she had done, knowing perfectly well that there was a gaping absence within their Dorm. So she had all the time in the world to collect her breaths, and place her hand on the door handle like she'd so often done before. 

Sasha opened the door to her best friend's room and didn't hesitate as she fell beside Connie and Isabel on the floor and started sobbing alongside them, Connie's face also full of tears as he watched her face contort under the weight of tears. But he still didn't comfort her, because he knew that she needed to cry and to grieve. 

He knew that some tears just needed to be cried.

***

Erwin Smith was not one to cry.

He'd faced too many losses for that, now. He'd witnessed too many deaths and had ordered for them to happen so often that he didn't think that he could cry, even. Erwin knew that his soul had long since been destined for hell, and so he didn't waste his time being alive by grieving over losses.

But this loss was one of the heaviest that he'd ever witnessed. Even after the victory - the stunningly organised victory - was not a good enough reward for the price paid. Y/N had been one of the finest soldiers he'd witnessed, and now he'd lost her to his enemies. He'd lost her.

What was more, Levi had lost her. He knew exactly what that girl meant to his right-hand; he'd known it for a very long time. He'd seen it when Levi's eyes sparked when he had looked at her, grinning at her friends and throwing around jokes. He'd seen it when the girl looked like she could kill him when he held a knife to Levi's throat, her absolute panic when she'd watched Levi's blood spilled when he'd pressed a little harder.

And then when Levi had heard that titans were attacking the city… The city that she was in. 

Erwin had known, then. There was no coming back from a love that deep... But he'd lost her. He'd lost the girl that had promised a better future, had promised a fight for the titans. That one girl had altered the entire fate of humanity with her sheer brilliance and goddamn ego that never failed to charm him.

The leader of an army of soldiers sunk into his chair, watching the snow fall out of the window. He placed his head in his hands and ignored the woman waiting by the door, her eyes hidden behind her glasses as she leaned against the wall with her arms crossed. She said nothing as noiseless sobs racked through her commander's body, as no tears fell from his eyes but his mouth twisted into a wordless cry.

No, Erwin was never one to cry.

***

Mikasa was nearly falling asleep on her feet as she ran across the snow-covered ground. Armin watched her as she drew her bow and notched an arrow, pulling it back to her ear as she focused on a rabbit that had picked the wrong time to emerge from the hills. He merely pulled the cloak so that it covered him more tightly as she let the arrow fly, securing meat for their dinner. 

Armin hadn't expected that he'd spend Christmas in the wilderness, tracking titans back to whatever hell-hole that they'd emerged from. But here he was, watching a huntress carry a rabbit back to the fire that he was tending to, carefully making sure that there was no smoke.

They hadn't found Eren, and so Mikasa had blankly refused to return back to the school. She knew that the humans would choose to regroup before going back out to find their lost people, before choosing to do battle again. She knew that she'd be faster at finding them, at slaughtering all of them for taking her brother away. And Armin knew that as well, after watching the cowardice of the humans as they handed over one of their own rather than fight. He and Mikasa had watched it all from afar, and although she'd become confused as she watched the entire happening, Armin remained quiet as he figured out exactly what was transpiring. 

Armin didn't have extraordinary talents. He didn't have the amazing abilities like Mikasa and Y/N, or the determination that Eren had. He only had his mind - but he was definitely going to use it. When it came to tracking the titans, he was the leader. He could determine whether they were fake, or whether they belonged to the titans. So he knew that they were on the right track.

The huntress and the tracker. Armin didn't need to communicate with Mikasa with words - they'd known each other for too long for words to really matter between them now. But they understood each other perfectly, and that was what made them the perfect team.

Armin allowed Mikasa to cook the meat for their Christmas dinner, knowing that she was better than him. He got up and walked back to the tracks that they were following, just to check for the numerous time that they were correct - he couldn't afford to muck this up, to waste time when Eren could be in danger. The snow had allowed the footprints to set, frozen in the mud below the white powder. They'd be preserved for a while - but it would prove very difficult to track them later when they started walking on snow instead of mud, leaving their tracks to melt.

Just as he was about to turn back, to go back to the insane girl who was waiting for him, something H/C grabbed his attention. It was on a path that was to the left, veering away from the path that he'd originally settled on. He reached out and lightly pulled the hair strands from the thorn bush, looking at the H/L strands carefully.

He knew that Y/N L/N was too good a tracker to just carelessly leave tracks behind - let alone pieces of her identity. Armin knew that this girl was still fighting to save the one more human that she hadn't saved yet.

Armin called to Mikasa, excitement thundering in his veins, as he began to follow Y/N's deliberately left tracks leading him to Eren. 

***

Isabel's lip trembled as she beheld the scene in front of the frozen lake.

Levi was sobbing - she had no idea for how long, or how desperately. All she knew was that he was in such pain, and she wanted it to stop. She looked behind her to find Sasha and Connie looking at her, awaiting her decision. They wouldn't argue if she wanted to turn around now - they'd only follow her. 

Farlan was also crying at her side. When she'd stormed her way to the boy's Dorms to see him, he'd taken one look at her blotchy face and had told her to go to the lake. She'd been about to slap him for understanding, hating that he could still understand her even though he'd handed over her best friend like she was nothing. But she'd looked at him - really looked - and had seen red eyes and a trembling mouth, the mirror of herself. She'd seen the way that his wrists were bandaged and his eyes were hollow with the lack of sleep and lack of himself.

So she'd hugged him and left, knowing that he'd follow. On the way out, Jean and Marco had emerged from the canteen, their eyes quiet and their voices even more so. They hadn’t been on the expedition initially, but had joined the battle along with Pixis and the rest of the school. Jean was sporting a bandaged arm, although Isabel supposed he would consider himself lucky – there were some students that had ridden out to that battle and hadn’t come back. 

As Isabel had passed them, Farlan loosely following her, they’d looked up at her with a joint expression of fear and hope. They’d somehow instinctively known that Isabel was on something like a mission - and had followed.

They had followed her here.

Shivering, Isabel finally opened the paper bag and exposed the presents that were hidden within. Jean laughed weakly, despairingly, as he picked up the present with his name on, knowing exactly who had gotten it for him. Farlan looked shocked as he found a tawny gold one with his name, and Sasha wiped away a tear as she found one with strawberries on the wrapping paper. Marco sighed, his breath trembling as he found a plain package, and then tossed the copper-coloured one to Isabel and the brown one to Connie. 

“We thought we'd find you here,” a soft voice said, and Isabel looked up from her package to see Krista and Ymir holding many scarves and gloves. As they took in the teary faces and swollen eyes, Ymir handed each of them the woollen clothes as Krista hugged each of them in turn. 

“There's one for you, too,” Marco told each of them, his voice hoarse. 

As he gave them their presents, Isabel turned to see Levi rise from his crouch at the edge of the lake. She knew that he knew they were here; she didn't go to get him, knowing that he only needed to know that they were there if he wanted them. Levi would come to them if he needed them - Isabel knew better than anyone to not push him. Especially not today.

So they ripped open their presents and didn't hesitate to cry as they beheld what was in each of them. Each of them held a simple leather bracelet with a single charm on each of them, one that Y/N had chosen for each of them. Marco laughed as he saw Jean's horseshoe charm, and then held up his shield charm as it sparkled in the cold winter sun. Krista blushed as she saw the rose charm that she'd got, and then wiped away tears as they fell from her eyes. Ymir nodded at her cantering horse, swinging from the bracelet, and Connie grinned widely as he saw that he and Sasha had each gotten half a pizza. Farlan gasped as he saw a bright emerald hanging within a heart, his eyes widening.

And Isabel cried more as she unwrapped hers and saw a charm of a bird with wide spread wings and an open beak. 

No one said anything as Ymir lead Krista to the bench nearby and began drawing in the frost that decorated the worn wood. Connie climbed the nearby oak tree and then helped Sasha up, so that they sat on the thick branch and let their legs swing down. Farlan, Jean and Marco stood nearby, talking lowly and laughing at the stupid things that they were each saying.

None of them said anything more about the charms that now hung from their wrists. They merely enjoyed the time that they had left with each other, knowing that any moment, it could be changed. Isabel smiled at the familiar scene, and then placed the present wrapped in shiny black deliberately on the snow, where it stood out starkly against the white snow. 

And then she went to join her friends where they were now attempting to ice skate on the frozen lake.

***

Levi watched as the brats fell over the moment they stepped onto the lake. 

He hated them, almost - for laughing and enjoying themselves whilst Y/N was surely being tortured within her own mind. But then he couldn't hate them - not for gladly taking the stolen time that Y/N sacrificed herself for. 

Levi turned away from the lake, a chorus of laughter following him, and walked slowly up the hill. A black present claimed his attention, sitting so obviously in the middle of the snow. He glanced back at the lake, where a red-haired figure was looking at him and waving. 

He didn't bother to wave back. He knew that she'd understand as he crouched down and scooped up the gift, thinking that it was from her before the scrawl on the name tag suggested otherwise. His heart jumped - he knew that writing. He loved with way that she wrote his name.

Levi opened the present carefully, cautiously. Inside was a bracelet, with a single charm. He tried to latch down on the laugh as it gurgled up inside of him, trying to stop the joy and amusement as he looked at the charm. But then, looking down at his bracelet, he couldn't help it.

Levi Ackerman laughed loudly, raucously. To anyone else, he may have seemed crazy. But he laughed and laughed until the tears came - not tears of sadness, but of laughter.  
And so he put on his bracelet and grinned at the poodle charm, and went to join his friends from where they were laughing on the lake. 

“I'll make you pay for that, brat.”

 

 

***

 

 

Two.

Annie didn't believe her.

Y/N was a vibrant being, and she'd willingly follow her to the ends of the earth. Annie knew that fact as well as she knew her soul. She'd been dedicated to the young princess, willing to throw away anyone and everyone for that girl ever since she'd seen those E/C eyes and felt utterly insignificant. It didn't matter what she herself did - only what that girl did. 

Annie's father failed. When it was Y/N's initiation night, he'd been chosen to give her that vital operation, that simple slice in the neck that reached the mind and altered it in the best way. He'd been honoured, he'd told Annie. Annie had felt such a sense of relief knowing that it was her father that was going to operate on the Y/N. It was her father, no one else's. 

But he failed.

Y/N had escaped as a human, and had returned as one.

For all of her lying, Y/N had everyone else fooled. Even Reiner and Bertoldt had been utterly in her thrall, believing that the girl was a titan, true to her word. But Annie had been taught how to perform the operation by her father. She knew exactly what the scar should look like, where it should be... She knew everything about it, and so when she saw that white line at the base of Y/N's throat, she knew it was a lie.

Annie watched as Y/N fell into a persona of raving hatred, as she stormed and raged at Orion for the failed attack. The energy that she was projecting made everyone fall silent, the titan's rowdy behaviour quelled by this small creature with wickedness in her eyes. Annie smirked as their loyalty was commanded by her princess, proud to have served and been with her.

But when night fell, Annie sat outside her door with a knife in her hands. She had claimed it was to protect her princess - which was true. No one had questioned it, not even her princess as she had merely shut the door and flung herself into bed. 

Annie waited.

And crept into Y/N's room, her footsteps silent as she beheld the girl enter a world of uneasy sleep. For all of her acting, the girl couldn't be a titan whilst asleep. Y/N turned over as Annie approached, looked at her princess with reverence etched in every part of her face.

She raised the knife.

Annie Leonhart felt only love as she brought the knife down to the back of Y/N's neck and slit the skin open in a practised movement. Annie knew what she was doing - where her father failed, she'd succeeded.

“Princess?” Y/N opened her eyes at her title, seemingly oblivious to the blood seeping down her neck and into her nightgown. Annie felt a thrill through her stomach as she beheld the true wickedness as a smile etched itself onto Y/N's lips and bared her gleaming teeth. “Welcome, Princess.”

Y/N L/N, the proud saviour humanity, the twin of Orion, the lover of Levi, and Titan Princess smiled with feral devilry. Annie felt a slight chill as her princess merely said nothing, her eyes filling with the insane light that Annie should have been used to – but was utterly not prepared to see in Y/N.

One.

Annie was only scared at the lack of noise that her Y/N was making.

After all...

No one ever talks about how threatening silence can be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!   
> I hope you enjoyed the first book of what will soon be a series (yes, don't worry, I'm working on the second story right now, there's no way I'd just leave this as it is)! Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to leave kudos or comments, it's been so cool.   
> I hope to see you when I have the time to finish this series, and I hope that all of you can hang on for the amount of time that it'll take to finish writing a story on par with this - your reactions have been amazing!!  
> So yes, thank you so much for reading!   
> Love, Ria

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, hope you enjoyed this chapter! I do not own the characters or the world, but the plot is mine.  
> I love reading all comments, so please please please leave your thoughts down there! See you soon!


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